


Enough

by bangtanbangs



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Cameos by other groups I stan, Eating Disorders, I write in my biases because I'm biased, I'll add characters as they are mentioned or involved, Mpreg, Past Sexual Abuse, Slow Burn, Tags to be added, and by cameos I mean my biases just stick around a lot with their corresponding matching ships, i wrote this on my phone in notes, im sorry if anyone is waiting on that, literally just thought about this and couldn’t get it out of my head, or at least finishing the next chapter of my other seventeen fic, possible sequel or maybe this will just be really long?, when i should be spending time with my family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2019-10-01 06:04:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 98,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17238776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bangtanbangs/pseuds/bangtanbangs
Summary: When a sudden death changes Seungkwan’s life, how do his friends react when they find out what has really been happening for the last five years.Not a great summary but hopefully the first chapter will give you a taste of what’s coming.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> I know I should be finishing up the next chapter of These Things Take Time (sorry anyone who wants to know what happens next) but I started thinking about this and then couldn’t get it out of my head. I’m sorry for basically putting my favorite boys through more fictional distress, but I find something about writing this very relieving. 
> 
> This is more of a brain dump than a well planned and edited work, so please don’t judge or criticize too hard. This is something I literally wrote in Notes while on a long plane ride so I just barreled through. Nearly done with the third chapter so I’ll probably update this fairly quickly for at least the first few chapters. 
> 
> If anything seems to be severely lacking plot wise, like something doesn’t make any sense or I completely forgot to address something, feel free to comment. I will try to make sure that the plot line doesn’t fall apart but I’m not putting as much attention into this as TTTT. 
> 
> I’ve blabbed too much, so please move onto the fic now 😬
> 
> For anyone sensitive to topics related to abusive relationships, I’d recommend not reading.

Seokmin couldn’t believe it when Soonyoung had come into their apartment, waving his arms about. He seemed panicked and yelled that he had news. 

“Taewon is dead.”

Seokmin spit out the water he just sipped. “What do you mean he’s dead?”

“Here, look at this,” Soonyoung cries as he thrusts his phone towards his best friend’s face. On it was a news article titled Crazed Alpha Murdered After Harassing Omegas At Club.

“Oh my god,” Seokmin sighs as he reads further into the article. Apparently Taewon had been at a club a few days ago and hitting on some Omegas, buying them drinks. He had been caught slipping some of them roofies and other heat-inducing drugs and had started a brawl with the bouncer and a few Alpha patrons. He ended up being killed after not backing down. 

“Well I can’t say that I’m happy he died, but I’m honestly not surprised. Good riddance.”

“What about Seungkwan?” Soonyoung asks softly, and the rage quickly falls from both their faces. 

“Oh no, we need to go check on him. I haven’t actually heard from him in a few days. I hope he’s okay.” Seokmin looked worried and Soonyoung knows why. 

They’d only ever heard stories of when a Bonded Mate passed away, leaving one behind. It was said to be one of the most painful feelings. Some said it felt like being stabbed all over the body, others felt suffocated. Sometimes elderly couples would end up following their mate soon after. Some Bonded Mates with a really strong relationship would find themselves unable to love again. Unable to have children or engage in intercourse. Sometime the other mate would be driven insane. A rare few ended up killing themselves. 

Seokmin and Soonyoung were Seungkwan’s best friends. They had known him since they were in elementary school. He had always been very susceptible to others, gullible and trusting. They had always worried about his relationship with Taewon. The older Alpha had always been trouble, dating around and drinking heavily and experimenting with all kids of drugs. But the Alpha had caught the eye of their younger friend when he was a repeat third year high schooler and Seungkwan was a first year. After Soonyoung had brought his two other friends to a party thrown by some older college friends, Taewon wouldn’t stop bothering Seungkwan. Well, Seokmin and Soonyoung called it bothering. Seungkwan felt flattered by it and ended up accepting the Alpha’s courting requests. 

And that’s how Seungkwan ended up Bonded to Taewon at the young age of 16. While most young couples waited until they were legal, especially when there was an age difference like theirs of 3 years, Seungkwan had always insisted that it was completely consensual and that he wanted it. That he needed it. 

The way that Seungkwan would always respond this way whenever someone would question their relationship worried his best friends. Seungkwan would become defensive and refuse to discuss it further. Recently, they would only see the Omega a few times a month, between their university classes and the tight hold Taewon seemed to keep on Seungkwan’s schedule, and they never wanted to endanger the precious time they got to hang out with their friend by making him uncomfortable. As much as Taewon’s close watch on him made them uncomfortable. 

Seokmin and Soonyoung made their way to the bus, knowing that it’d take a while to get to Seungkwan’s apartment he shared—or used to share—with Taewon. It was across town, far from their university, far from most social events, far from all of his friends. They had tried to argue, but once again, Taewon had been close by, sitting at an adjacent table, waiting to swoop in and take Seungkwan away if he was asked too many questions. 

They make the half hour ride to the apartment, some instant ramen in tow because they know it’s Seungkwan’s favorite comfort food, one he often denied himself. They walk up the stairs to reach the fifth floor and down the hall. They knock on the door loudly and wait. 

When there’s not reply, they try to call him. 

“He’s not picking up his phone, I’m just getting his voicemail. Try yelling.”

Seokmin tries calling through the door to no success. After a quick glance towards the older, they both decide that it’s time to use their spare key. 

Not that Seungkwan knew they had a spare key. They had been growing worried about Seungkwan being with Taewon, especially when he had moved in with the Alpha during his second year of high school. Seokmin was worried they were moving too fast and it was Soonyoung’s idea to steal Seungkwan’s key to make a copy for themselves, just in case. 

Now that key came in handy, as they enter the apartment cautiously. They didn’t know how Seungkwan would react to the spare key. But they supposed it didn’t matter too much, because they were mostly worried about Taewon finding out. And that wasn’t possible now. 

Seungkwan wasn’t in the living room, but they could tell that he was in the apartment. His tangerine scent was present—dull and bitter but there. 

As they walked further into the apartment and towards the bedroom where they suspected him to be. Seokmin picked up on the scent first with his more sensitive nose—the scent of bile. He began to rush a little more as they swing open the door to the couple’s bedroom. 

A quick scan told them that Seungkwan was definitely not in the room, but the light to the bathroom was on. 

Something inside Seokmin told him to move as quickly as he could to the bathroom with the light and scent of bile and sadness sleeping under the door. 

He opens the door quickly only to find his younger friend on the floor, passed out in his own vomit. 

Seconds pass as they stare, stunned. 

A moment later, Soonyoung goes down to his knees to grab the younger’s shoulders, trying to shake him awake as Seokmin pulls out his phone to call 911. Seungkwan doesn’t wake after being shaken and soonyoung feels for his pulse. It’s weak, and it’s shallow but he’s still breathing. 

The dispatcher tells Seokmin that they’ll send an ambulance his way and they should expect the EMTs in about fifteen minutes. He turns his attention back to his best friends, where soonyoung is now weeping and clutching onto the Omega’s chest. 

“Minnie, I don’t think this is just a Bond breaking reaction. Look at him, look at his wrist.” Soonyoung makes his pint by easily wrapping his fingers around the Omega’s wrist and having his fingers overlap much farther than they should. The thing is that Seungkwan was never a skinny kid. He was a chubby toddler but grew up to have a bit thicker body. Not fat and far from overweight but he didn’t suit the long and lean look. He was happier and healthier when he was a little bit well fed. This was not healthy and it had clearly been happening for a while if his arms were this thin. Both boys were afraid of looking further into the damage done to their friend. 

It’s then that the EMTs knock on the door and Seokmin rushes to let them in and guide them to he bathroom. They quickly assess Seungkwan before loading him into a stretcher and heading back down to the vehicle. They allow the two to ride in the back with them as they attach an oxygen mask to the boy and insert an IV. 

They ask them some questions. 

“Name?”

“Lee Seokmin.”

“Kwon Soonyoung.”

“No, his name.”

“Boo Seungkwan.” They both rush out. 

“Age and secondary?”

“20, Omega.”

“Are either of you his mate?”

“His Alpha mate died a few days ago, but they had been Bonded for about three years.”

“And you just found him like this?”

“Yeah, he was surrounded by vomit in his bathroom and I don’t know how long he was there. The last time we had contact with him was about a week ago.”

“Do you know if he has someone to call, any family?”

“No family here in Seoul, but I can call another close friend if that’s okay?”

Seokmin picks up his phone to call one of the most responsible and reliable people he knows—his boyfriend Joshua. The Omega was one of the most parental figures for most of his younger friends and he knew that if he called Joshua for help, his roommates, Seungcheol and Jeonghan, the default parent couple of their friend group, would come along with him. 

“Minnie, what’s up?” Joshua picks up and Seokmin immediately feels a little relief from hearing his soft voice. 

“Babe, Shua, you need to go to the hospital. I don’t know if you saw but Taewon died a few days ago, so Soonie and I went to check on Seungkwan and we found him passed out and now we’re in an ambulance and I don’t know what to do, what if he dies because of Taewon? I always knew he was a problem but now Seungkwan might not make it and I didn’t ever do anything. Oh, Shua, you should see him, he’s so thin, it’s scaring me, an-“

“Minnie, please calm down. Panicking eight now won’t help you or Seungkwan. Seungkwan is going to get help because you two went to look for him. I’ll get to the hospital and I’ll see you three soon.”

When they get to the hospital, Soonyoung and Seokmin try to rush into the emergency room with Seungkwan, but get held back by Joshua and Seungcheol. 

“Minnie, Soonie, calm down. The doctors know what they’re doing. You need to trust them and come wait with us. I called Jihoon so he should be coming any moment now.”

Seokmin started to slow his breathing a bit in Joshua’s arms and then turned to hold onto Soonyoung who had started to cry. 

~~~

A few hours later, Jihoon had arrived and was comforting Soonyoung. Chan and Dongmin had arrived a little after to wait with their brother and friends. 

A doctor comes out and asks for Boo Seungkwan’s family or friends and after a quick moment, they agree that Seungcheol, Soonyoung, and Seokmin should be the ones to go see him first. 

“Now, because you aren’t his immediate family or his emergency contact, I can’t tell you most of the details. Would any of you be able to contact his mate? We’ve been trying the number for his emergency contact Ha Taewon but haven’t been able to get in touch.”

“Well actually, Taewon passed away a few days ago,” Seungcheol answers calmly. 

“Oh, well, we’ll make a note of that. We’ll have to change the emergency contact later. I shouldn’t tell you this, but I think it’s important. First of all, Seungkwan has a fractured knee and some light bruising on most parts of his body. He seems to be suffering from malnourishment, as well.” Here the doctor seems to hesitate before continuing. “What I shouldn’t say is that there are signs of physical abuse. I’ll have to have someone talk to him more when he’s ready, but for now I just want to warn you that even though he’s medically stable now, he might not be ready mentally.”

They arrive in front of a room and the doctor finishes up his review of Seungkwan’s status. “He’s currently on an IV drip to return him to a healthy weight because he’s severely underweight, especially concerning some of his conditions. and he has a cast for his knee. Any more details will have to come from him directly. You can go inside. He might still be awake.”

The three of them enter the room carefully, so they don’t wake him up if he’s sleeping. But it seems that Seungkwan is awake where he’s lying on the bed, foot elevated in the cast and staring blankly up at the ceiling. 

They all shuffle in without saying a word, sitting down in the seats nearest to the hospital bed. Seungcheol is noticeably bothered as he takes in the physical state of the youngest boy. It had been weeks, maybe even months since he had last seen Seungkwan at an end of summer celebration when Seungkwan made an appearance for about thirty minutes before Taewon decided it was time to leave. Seungcheol curses internally that he let life happen and let his friendship with Seungkwan suffer because he was busy. 

“Why are you here?” Seungkwan asks suddenly. His voice is croaky as if he hadn’t drank water for days. 

Soonyoung reaches out for his hand, but Seungkwan flinches and Soonyoung retreats. “Kwannie, we found you inside you-“

“I killed him.”

Seungkwan is met with silence. That’s not what any of them had expected. 

“Taewon was killed in a fight at a bar. Yo-“

“I killed him. I made him upset. I was being selfish and didn’t give him what he needed. He got upset with me. That’s why he was at the bar. I’m the reason he died.”

A single tear fell down Seungkwan’s sunken cheek. They sat in silence, unsure how to respond. 

“He needed me and I failed him. I shouldn’t have told him no.” Seungkwan fell silent, allowing his friends to finally take a good look at him. It had been a long time since they had actually seen him. His normally full cheeks were sunken and his skin was dull. There were light bruises on most of the skin he could see. His brown hair needed to be touched up at the roots and his collar bones were sticking out where the hospital gown dipped low on his bony shoulder. His arms looked thinner they had when Seungkwan used to go on diets when they were still in high school. 

Back then, they would see Seungkwan regularly. He couldn’t just not go to high school everyday. But after he finally graduated and his friends expected him to enroll in the university they went to or maybe even go somewhere farther away, Seungkwan had confessed that he didn’t want to go to university, even though he had been accepted to a couple prestigious universities and performing arts schools. Seungcheol has always suspected that Taewon had pressured Seungkwan into giving up his university dreams. Taewon had transferred to Seungkwan’s high school after being held back at Seungcheol’s school. Rumors had it that Taewon pinched the principal or was caught selling drugs during an exam. Seungcheol’s hunch is that all the Omegas at school had grown wary of him and wouldn’t give him any attention. 

When Jeonghan started dating Seungcheol and brought him into their friend group, Seungcheol was alarmed when he heard they had a friend who was dating—not only dating but mated—to the troublemaker Taewon.   
After meeting Seungkwan, he immediately fell for his charms and fun personality. He couldn’t understand why he would be dating Taewon. That was until Seungkwan suddenly couldn’t hang out anywhere without Taewon tagging along.

Something about their relationship had always rubbed Seungcheol the wrong way. When Seungcheol was younger, his Alpha father had sat him down to make sure he understood that while the laws about secondary genders make them seem very imbalanced, Alphas, Betas, and Omegas are all equal in value, ability, and relationships. Once he had presented as an Alpha, he realized how much these dynamics played into relationships, particularly for couples. Some couples worked well in traditional roles. And that was fine if that’s what worked for them. Others worked outside traditional expectations. That’s what he and Jeonghan were. Seungcheol knew that he would do anything to support Jeonghan because he was his boyfriend, not because he is an Omega. But they had also discussed that if they were to have kids, Seungcheol would be the one to stay at home. His work could be done at home while Jeonghan had never seen himself as a stay at home parent and needed to travel a bit around often for work. 

“I wish I had died. I know Taewon is dead. I could feel it. But good mates die when the other does. I’d rather have died, like a good mate. All I felt was a tug in my heart. Even after he’s gone, I still fail him. In the end, I still could never be good enough Omega to keep him with me.”

After Seungkwan finished, Soonyoung stood up, clearly angered by what was just said. 

“Boo Seungkwan, you take that back. I won’t let you say that. I won’t let my best friend say he’d rather die than live right now. I don’t know what Taewon has been telling you for years, but you’ve never failed at being a good person once since I’ve known you!”

By now, Seungcheol has gone to grab Jihoon to calm Soonyoung down. Seungkwan starts to cry, shocked by his friend’s outburst. Soonyoung has always had a temper but rarely got angry at his closest friends. Jihoon rushes into the room after Seungcheol and goes straight to his boyfriend to try and drag him out of the room. 

“Hoonie, what are you doing? Don’t you think he should know what we’ve been thinking about Taewon for years? What we’ve all been thinking about him for years? He never treated you right, Kwannie. Can’t you see yourself! If this is how you end up after being with him for four years, then he clearly was hurting you. You have BRUISES all over your arms! You don’t look like you’ve eaten for days! I’m glad that Taewon is d-“

Jihoon finally managed to clap a hand over his boyfriend’s mouth and pull him from the room. Seungkwan now has tears streaming silently down his cheeks. Seokmin’s mind is going over everything Soonyoung just said. Sure, it had been what they all thought, but they agreed that telling Seungkwan wouldn’t help him the way they wanted to. Turning back to the younger boy, he saw his eyes trained in the door where they could still hear muffled shouts. Seokmin reaches out cautiously for his hand. When he gently touches the back of his hand, Seungkwan suddenly grasps tightly and looks down at his lap. 

“Don’t leave.” It comes out as a whisper. Seokmin can feel Seungkwan trembling, probably trying to keep himself from breaking down. It had obviously been a lot of emotional turmoil already—from Taewon’s sudden death to how he must have been treated to how Soonyoung just had an outburst. Seungkwan had always been so sensitive to how others thought of him that it made sense that his emotions would be shot. 

“Never.” Even if recently they hadn’t been as close, Seokmin had his suspicions that it wasn’t by Seungkwan’s choice. “Do you want to cuddle?” He asked softly, knowing that Seungkwan was a tactile person. By the speed that Seungkwan shook his head, he knew that he had probably been physically alone longer than just since Taewon died. 

Omegas usually depended on physical contact more than other dynamics and in that way, Seungkwan was a very stereotypical Omega. And as Seokmin climbed up on the hospital bed and brought his arms around Seungkwan to pull him into his chest, he felt the trembling still and tears wet his shirt. 

“You know that Soonie didn’t mean to hurt you, right? He is just worried about you. Like we all are. We never want to see our friend in the hospital.” He waits until he feels a little nod against his collar before continuing, “I don’t know what’s going through your head right now, but I want to let you know that your amazing. And I love you. I don’t know how serious you were just now, but I hope you don’t really want to die.”

They’re silent for a while before Seungkwan speaks up softly, “I can’t die. Not now.”

Seokmin is half relieved and half confused. He stays silent, hoping for him to continue. 

“Can you keep a secret?”

“Of course.”

“I’m carrying my Alpha’s child.”

Seokmin feels his heart stop. Seungkwan is pregnant. Seungkwan is a pregnant Omega who just lost his mate and is in the hospital for being undernourished and possibly a victim of abuse. And just when Seokmin thought hat he couldn’t be shocked any more, Seungkwan says one last thing before falling into a fitful sleep. 

“Maybe this time, it’ll live.”


	2. CHAPTER TWO

Seokmin isn’t sure what to think. He knows that he isn’t going to tell anybody else. He can’t break the trust that he has with his best friend when he’s in this emotional state. He trusts that the doctors here will take care of his physical being. 

But he’s worried about his mental state and his cryptic words. If he’s interpreting Seungkwan’s words correctly, then that means this wouldn’t be the first time Seungkwan has been pregnant. But Seokmin hasn’t met any of Seungkwan’s children—and he certainly hasn’t just been hiding them for years—so Seungkwan must have lost a baby before. 

But Seungkwan had never shared that with anyone of their friend group before. He wonders what other things Seungkwan has kept hiding since he’s been with Taewon. Seokmin reaches a hand down to place lightly on the others stomach, cringing when he brushes past ribs that are much more prominent than they should be. He feels the concave surface of Seungkwan’s stomach before reaching the spot right above his pelvis where he can feel a small and barely noticeable bump. It’s probably only something he can feel because there’s barely any meat on his body it’s so small but it’s there nonetheless. Seokmin wonders how many times the baggy sweaters and oversized T-shirts were all trying to cover up his stomach. It’s then that a nurse enters the room quietly. 

The nurse lays his hand on Seokmin’s shoulder and lets him know that visiting hours are over. He must not have been quiet enough because Seungkwan wakes and begins to panic when he realizes the nurse is trying to get Seokmin to leave. 

“No, no, no! You can’t take him away from me! I can’t lose him! I need him! I can’t lose another person! Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me!” Seungkwan screams as he clutches onto Seokmin and flails until the nurse lets go. 

“Seungkwan, if you want him to be able to stay with you overnight, then you’ll need to let him at least come up to the front desk and talk to a doctor shortly. You can’t come with us because of your knee right now.”

“Seungkwan, that’s fine. I’ll be right back. Then I’ll be able to stay with you.” Seokmin tried to persuade Seungkwan to let go of his death grip on his arm to no avail. He can see in Seungkwan’s lifeless eyes tears and deep, unsettling fear. Fear of being left behind by another person he loves. Fear that this might be the last time he sees his friend. Irrational but understandable considering his condition and circumstances. 

He turns back to the nurse. “Would it be possible to get him a wheelchair maybe? So he can come out to the front desk? I don’t mind waiting if the paperwork can wait a few minutes more.” The nurse nods and returns a few minutes later, wheelchair in tow. Both men help ease Seungkwan into the chair. He had never looked so small than when he was sat in the wheelchair with his gown pooling off his bony shoulder and dainty hands placed carefully in his lap. 

Seungkwan grabs his hand as he walks next to the chair as they make their way down the hall. Seokmin quickly signs the paperwork before he’s whisked away by Seungkwan’s doctor for a brief talk, reassuring Seungkwan that he’d be back as soon as possible. 

“He’s pregnant!” It bursts out his mouth before Seokmin can stop it. The doctor chuckles sadly. 

“Ah, so he told you. I suppose that makes you okay to discuss it with. Did he mention anything else?”

“He might have said something about it living this time. Does he mean he’s had other babies?”

“What you mean to say, I believe, is that has he had a miscarriage before? And unfortunately, the answer is yes. Perhaps multiple, if the scarring in his uterus is anything to go by. The paperwork you signed allows you privileges, such as staying past normal visitors’ hours, but also assigns you as an individual we are allowed to discuss his care and condition with. You are a very trusted friend it seems.”

Seokmin smiles at this before remembering what he had just been told. “You said scarring? And what does that mean for this baby?”

“Well, that’s part of the reason we’re keeping him in the hospital for a few more days at least. He seems to be about 10 weeks pregnant so about two and a half months. When he arrived last night, he had a fractured knee that seemed to have been a few days old, he was severely underweight, and shows signs of physical and sexual abuse. I’m not a psychologist but I could bet there’s some mental and emotional abuse as well. He seems to have been touch starved if the way he’s been clinging onto you, a familiar presence, says anything. This might seem like a lot of responsibility but you’ll be crucial in his recovery now.”

“That’s fine. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“He’s lucky to have a friend like you. Now I’ll try to keep it brief. He’s in a very fragile state. While a miscarriage didn’t usually spell disaster for all following pregnancies, reoccurring ones can be an issue. However, we didn’t see any cysts or reproductive issues. In fact, he seems to be a very fertile Omega. This leads us to believe that perhaps the physical abuse played a part in past miscarriages.”

“Wait, do you mean to imply that Taewo-, that his, that Alpha... beat him and caused miscarriages.”

“Well, I can’t confirm without some more details from Seungkwan, but whether it be bearings or not eating enough, it’s all classic signs of Omega abuse. For now, we ask that you find a safe environment for him to stay after he’s discharged. He won’t be very mobile with the cast on his leg and will need physical therapy afterwards. He’ll also be recommended for regular therapy sessions to try and mend some of the psychological damage caused by the abusive relationship.”

The doctor was about to leave when Seokmin had a question he had been itching to ask.

“What about his Bond. Taewon was his Bonded Mate. But when he was killed, he just felt a little hurt in his heart. What does that mean?”

The doctor turned around to look Seokmin deeply in the eyes. “In my experience, often the inner Omega can tell when a relationship is unhealthy or abusive and will try to pull away. Part of the psychological trauma is from rejecting or ignoring these instincts so strongly that the connection with the inner Omega is broken. Almost like Stockholm Syndrome where the abused says what the abuser wants to hear until they start to believe it themselves. So while Seungkwan may have come to believe that his is the best relationship for him, his inner Omega, the entity responsible for the reaction when a mate dies, isn’t fooled. It’s a cardinal sign of an abused Omega. However, we’re lucky. Most of the time that a mate doesn’t die is a sign of an abusive relationship, it’s because the Alpha kills the Omega and the Alpha feel next to nothing.” The doctor finishes grimly before leading him back to the front desk. 

He sees Seungkwan clenching the armrests of the wheelchair so tightly his knuckles are white. He rushes back to his side and holds his hand the entire time they return to his room. 

~~~

Seungkwan doesn’t want to be here. He wishes that he was back in his apartment, curled up with his Alpha. But he can’t have that now. He can’t have that ever again. 

And it serves him right. He never deserved an Alpha like Taewon. And now he couldn’t ever feel the protection and hold and love of an Alpha again. 

He was lucky to have had his Alpha. And now he lost him due to his own selfishness. The only thing he could do try and be a good Omega would be take care of his Alpha’s child. 

But now he didn’t have anyone who would care for him. He knew he was weak, useless, and had nothing to offer others, but that’s why needed to be protected. He doesn’t know his friend Soonyoung thought all these bad things about his Alpha, but he guessed that’s because he’s stupid and deserves to be yelled at regardless. 

He just hoped that Seokmin wouldn’t yell at him, even if he deserved it, and would stay with him. It had been a long time since he had been so close to another human being and it is giving him so much comfort. Comfort he doesn’t deserve. Comfort he didn’t earn. 

It’s then that the doctor enters the room with another woman he’s never seen before. His doctor, Dr. Chang, introduces Dr. Lim as a psychologist and asks if it’s okay to ask him a few questions. Seungkwan agrees as long as Seokmin can stay in the room. Seokmin is just waking up from where he was laying on the bed, nods his head, and goes to sit in chat next to the bed. 

Dr. Lim agreed that he can stay and begins to ask Seungkwan questions about his relationship with Taewon. 

“How long were you mates with Taewon.”

“Almost four years.”

“How would you describe your relationship with Taewon.”

“My Alpha protected and provided for me because he loved me.”

“Did you ever argue?”

“Only when I would be too stubborn to understand.”

“How did you usually go about solving these conflicts?”

Seungkwan kept answering these questions with a calm demeanor as Seokmin grew more and more concerned. He could tell that the psychologist didn’t find these answers very reassuring either, if the deepening furrow in her brow was anything to go by. 

When the doctor left, he noticed a few people huddled outside the door. He opened to the door to let in Seungcheol and Soonyoung again, this time with Jeonghan, Joshua, Jihoon, Dongmin, and Chan in tow. 

He feels relieved to see his brothers, friends, and boyfriend. He goes to place his hands gently on Joshua’s waist and nuzzle his face in his neck. Joshua responds by placing his arms around his neck and pulling him in for a hug. It’s this comfort that he really needs right now. He lets Seungkwan have some time to talk to their other friends. 

Jeonghan releases Seungcheol’s hand to rush over to Seungkwan’s bedside. He brushes back his hair to place an urgent kiss on his forehead and pulls him into a tight hug. 

“Kwannie, are you okay? What happened? Why didn’t you call us?”

Seungkwan looks a little overwhelmed by all his friends that he had grown accustomed to seeing infrequently. He quickly shakes his head. 

“I don’t know your phone number, hyung.”

“Did you lose my contact?”

“I don’t have a phone.” Seungkwan states this as a matter of fact. Silence falls over the rest of the visitors. He doesn’t have a phone. Seungkwan looks around puzzled as to why everyone seems shocked. 

“I don’t need one. My Alpha took care of contacting anyone I needed. And I wouldn’t know how to use one anyway. Phones have gotten so complicated nowadays, according to my Alpha.”

Jeonghan wants to scream at how that paints the relationship he had with Taewon. He clearly had been doing anything he could to keep Seungkwan reliant on him, going as far as controlling his contact with the outside world. It made sense, as it always seemed that Taewon was the one picking up Seungkwan’s phone, when in fact, it was just Taewon’s phone. 

But he reminds himself one of the reasons they are at the hospital today, besides to give Seungkwan some company. Soonyoung needed to apologize. 

He makes eye contact with the younger Alpha and pointed jerks his head in Seungkwan’s direction. 

Soonyoung finishes twiddling his thumbs and walks up to Seungkwan’s side and grasps his hand lightly enough for Seungkwan to pull it away if he wanted to. He doesn’t though. 

“Seungk- Kwannie, I want to apologize for how I yelled at you yesterday. I shouldn’t have said those things to you, especially right after Taewon passed and you’re in the hospital. It was inconsiderate of me and I should’ve been more concerned with your feelings than my own. I hope you can forgive me and that we can still be friends. I don’t want to lose my best friend.” Tears threaten to spill from his eyes and Seungkwan looks about the same. He pulls the older into a hug, to everyone’s relief, and starts to cry again.

“Soonie hyung, I love you and of course we’re still best friends.”

It’s moments like this that Seungcheol realizes how easy it was to miss how bad the relationship had become. Seungkwan was still very much himself. A tampered down and quieter version of himself. But besides for the occasional odd detail about his daily life and Taewon’s constant presence around Seungkwan when he would hang out, Seungkwan’s gentle and caring personality was still ever present. 

“Seungkwan, we think it’d be a good idea if you moved in with us. After you’re discharged of course.” Seungcheol starts. After all, they have an extra room in the apartment because they started their contract before he had started dating Jeonghan, and then they started to share his room. 

“Oh hyung, I couldn’t do that. I don’t have any money to pay rent. And I only take up space.”

“Don’t worry about it. We’re friends. And we’re going to help you get back on your feet. We’d rather have you than a stranger that pays anyway.”

Soonyoung adds that he’d have him stay in his and Seokmin’s apartment but there isn’t an extra room and their apartment is on the third floor with no elevator. 

Seungkwan eventually agrees and then asks Seungcheol if he’d be willing to be one of his medical guardians like Seokmin is. The oldest of their group agrees because he wants to help make sure that Seungkwan gets the best help and he knows that it must be hard because his mother wouldn’t be able to come up to Seoul from Jeju to be with him. 

After finishing the paperwork and returning to the room, Seungcheol is met with some police officers who ask to speak with Seungkwan. 

He is met with a fearful look from the young Omega who glances at him, then at Seokmin, before whispering something in the older Beta’s ear. Seokmin nods before motioning for Seungcheol and the officers to follow him. They head to a small conference room and sit down. 

“My name is Lee Seokmin and this is Choi Seungcheol. We’ve both been appointed as medical guardians for Boo Seungkwan, so we should be able to help you with anything you need that doesn’t need to come directly from him. He just told me that he’s nervous to talk to police because his Alpha had told him not to talk to police without him, so if there’s anything that can be relayed back to him, it might be best.”

The police look at each other before starting. “I suppose that’s okay. I’m Officer Jo, this is my partner Officer Hwang. We’re here concerning a criminal and civil investigation into Ha Taewon, Boo Seungkwan’s late Alpha mate. It seems he may have been involved in drug trafficking of illegal Alpha hormones and child pornography, and we have some evidence that we think is important in uncovering what happened to get Boo into this situation he is now.” 

Officer Hwang pulls a bag out of his briefcase. In it there’s a cell phone. “This is Ha Taewon’s phone, recovered at the scene of his death. We’ve managed to unlock it and there are many count of him contacting others for drug deals. While we don’t suspect that Boo was directly involved in these dealings, were concerned that the drugs may have been used on him or by others interacting with him. If possible, we’d like to ask him if he’s ever seen Ha use substances during their relationship.”

“We can try to ask him or have his psychologist looks out for signs of that?”

“Sure, and then this next part is directly concerning Boo. We want to warn you that this is graphic material that may be extremely disturbing. There are photos of Boo on Ha’s phone. Explicit photos.” Officer Jo pauses before taking a deep breath and continuing. “There are photos taken of Boo in various states of undress, some sleeping, some from long distances with people we’ve identified to be friends of Boo, including yourselves, and most disturbing are photos of Boo where he appears to be underage.”

Seungcheol starts to growl until Seokmin grabs his hand to calm him down. 

“Unfortunately it gets worse. You may or may not know but Boo has had several pregnancies during the course of his relationship with Ha.” Seungcheol’s mouth drops open as he takes in this new information. He had known that Taewon was bad news but didn’t realize the extent. He had a question itching on the top of his tongue when he notices Seokmin look solemnly at the table. 

He doesn’t have to wait though as Officer Hwang continues and answers his question. “From what we can gather, Boo seems to have had at least six or seven pregnancies but miscarried each time. We suspect the cause to be the physical abuse from Ha.”

Seungcheol clenches his teeth, his worst fears confirmed. As an Alpha he suddenly felt a surge of protectiveness and rage that he was unable to protect the youngest Omega in their group from being treated like this. 

“Now were unsure how easily Seungkwan will bring up this topic but if it doesn’t happen, we would wish to know as many details of the abuse and mistreatment over the years so we can fully develop the story of Ha for our records. While he may have passed, we still can use any details to help us take down his drug circle and surely it will help to heal Boo of his wounds, inside and out.”

“Lastly, if you have any signs you’ve picked up on that could help us build his case, then we’d love to hear them now.”

Seokmin and Seungcheol sit silently for a minute before Seokmin starts. “He told me last night that he’s pregnant. And that he hopes this time, it’ll live, so I can pretty much confirm that he’s had miscarriages before.” Seungcheol looks almost angry that he only learned that their friend is pregnant now. But he calms down after Seokmin adds that Seungkwan asked for it to remain a secret for now. 

“He’s mentioned that he doesn’t have a cellphone. He also implied that Taewon was telling him he was too stupid to understand how cellphones work.” Seungcheol adds, before continuing. “During his second year of high school I want to say, they Bonded and Seungkwan moved in with Taewon. After that, anytime we’d see him outside of school, he’d seen a bit nervous and have to leave early. He definitely had a cellphone then because it would constantly be blowing up with messages and calls until he’d pick up and have to leave. He ended up not going to university and I can’t help but think that it’s Taewon’s decision, not his own.”

“He also thinks it’s his fault that Taewon died. He blames himself for being selfish somehow and making Taewon end up in that bar.” Seokmin finishes up what they suspected about Taewon for now. 

The police finish up after that. A few customary questions later, and the two return to Seungkwan’s room. 

~~~

It’s a few days later and Seungkwan is being discharged from the hospital. He managed to gain a few pounds already from simply the IV although getting to eat enough by himself was still a challenge. He’d often refuse to eat, saying that he hadn’t earned it or didn’t deserve to eat. Usually the only way he would eat was when he was only with Seungcheol or Seokmin and they’d have to guilt him into it by hinting at how it’d be good for the baby. Seungkwan would look down at his belly conflicted, his hands hovering over his stomach, before sighing and eating the food he was being given. 

That led to another issue. He still hadn’t shared his pregnancy with all his friends yet, and while he was far from showing despite his underweight frame, his morning sickness was a great pain. He would have to wake up to throw up, and he’d throw up before and after every meal and then often throughout the evening and late into the night. The only thing keeping him from getting dehydrated was his IV. 

As the nurse does his last check on Seungkwan before signing his discharge papers, he throws up one last time in the trash next to him where he’s sitting in the wheelchair. 

Soonyoung, who is there with Seokmin, Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua, looks at him with concern. 

“Are you sure he’s well enough to leave? He hasn’t stopped vomiting yet.”

The nurse shares a glance with Seokmin and Seungcheol, still the only others who know of Seungkwan’s pregnancy which has reached the eleventh week now. Seungkwan had mentioned that he didn’t want to tell anyone else until he hit he second semester because he didn’t believe he’d be able to keep it. As he was creeping closer to three months and still not at a healthy weight, his little bump could be felt above his pelvic bone but not quite yet seen. 

“He should be fine. The vomiting should stop in a few days. It’s just a reaction to all the things happening recently.” Soonyoung didn’t look convinced but got up to head to their oldest friends’ apartment. 

~~~

Once they reached the apartment, which was thankfully on the first floor, they wheeling Seungkwan to his room which was attached to a bathroom shared with Seungcheol’s younger brother Hansol who had been on a short vacation with some of his college friends for the winter break. He’d be getting back anytime that day. Seungcheol has of course called him ahead of time and let him know that a friend of theirs would be staying while he recovered from some medical issues. Hansol had been fine with it even though he didn’t know all the details. 

They settle Seungkwan in his room and make sure that anything he needs is within his reach because he’d have to keep his cast on for at least several more weeks. They leave a phone and a charger as well as water and some fruit in case he decided he wanted to eat on his own. 

They also had some medications to help him gain weight and keep the baby healthy. They had him signed up for weekly appointment and counseling sessions to help him through the pregnancy and lost of his mate. 

As Seungkwan gets comfortable he hears the a soft knock as the door opens. It’s opened by a boy who can’t be more than his age. He looks foreign but familiar. This must be Seungcheol’s brother. Or step brother brother perhaps. He smelled mild. 

“You must be Seungkwan? I’m Hansol, hyung told me you’d be staying here. I just wanted to say hi and sorry that the bathroom is a mess.”

Seungkwan could tell now that Hansol is an Alpha although one with an unusually subtle scent. Maybe that’s why he didn’t send Seungkwan into a panic as most Alphas did nowadays. 

“It’s fine. I’m not the tidiest either.” Seungkwan says with a strained chuckle. Hansol smiles back at the sight of the the boy trying to act like nothing happened when his life had just been turned upside down in the last week.


	3. CHAPTER THREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan goes to his first followup appointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get kinda medical here, so a warning that it's like half accurate. Like some of its real and researched but also it's omegaverse, so how accurate can it really be
> 
> Also I know that if I were a reader, I'd already be kinda waiting for actual verkwan interactions, as that is my main ship focus here, I'm still trying to flesh out how I want those to work. I don't want it to feel forced or sudden
> 
> thanks to anyone reading this and much love to readers who left kudos on the last chapter

It had been a week since Seungkwan moved in and he was fitting in very well. Seokmin and Soonyoung has been spending a lot of their time at the apartment to keep him company. Jeonghan went full mom mode every time he was home, bringing back snacks or takeout or sweets and leaving them next to Seungkwan’s bed. Joshua would bring Seungkwan books to read and hang out with him and Seokmin when they’d watch movies on his laptop because Joshua was basically their savior for sharing his Netflix password. 

Hansol had seemed nervous around Seungkwan for quite a few days before he started to relax. He would help Seungkwan get in and out of bed with his cast and Seungkwan takes advantage of his calm nature to share lots of skinship. For a few days, Hansol would start his day by checking on Seungkwan and bringing in breakfast for them to eat together. After, he helps him to the bathroom or to the living room so Seungkwan doesn’t spend too much time cooped up in his room. 

Today, Seungkwan has a follow up appointment. He had been out cold during the ultrasound during his hospital stay and due to the immediacy of Taewon’s death, he hadn’t been in any state to discuss his pregnancy. Most of his friends, besides Seokmin and Seungcheol, still didn’t know about his pregnancy so he still didn’t feel the need to make any active decisions regarding the baby yet. 

Seungcheol stops by to pick up Seungkwan for his appointment. 

“You know, you didn’t need to take a half day just to drive me to the hospital.”

“Nonsense,” Seungcheol incredulously replies. “You are like my brother now. And you can’t drive yourself and I don’t want you taking the bus by yourself. Now here we, time to get out.”

They meet Seokmin and a surprise Jeonghan, who wanted to be additional moral support, in the lobby and wait a few minutes before they’re called in. Seungkwan looks nervous, probably because of what happened the last time he was in the hospital. But he did look healthier already, despite the dingy hospital lighting. His cheeks were already a bit fuller, his hair looked fresher, and his eyes had a bit of a twinkle again. 

While physically he seemed to be improving despite his large cast on his leg, his friends are concerned about his mental state. They had expected more breakdowns, more crying. More anything. But Seungkwan seemed to be taking all of the recent events in stride. 

Did he already come to terms with Taewon’s death? Or did the long time with Taewon mess up his mental state enough that Seungkwan just wasn’t feeling?

They stop in the hallway with the nurse to take a few measurements. He helps him out fo him wheelchair to stand on the scale. His friends all casually try to avoid looking at the scale, giving him a sliver of privacy as the nurse jots down his weight. They make their way down the hallway some more and sit down in the examination room. 

A few moments later, Dr. Lim enters the room and shakes goes about the room, shaking hands. 

“Hello Seungkwan and friends. Thank you for coming in today. First of all, I wanted to ask you how you’re feeling. You haven’t been to a counseling session yet, correct? Well then, hopefully you’ll have that soon. But how are you feeling now?”

“...” Seungkwan looks down at his hands, looking guilty. “I’m not really sure. I-I don’t feel... as sad... as I think I should be. I’m not sure why. It’s like I don’t f-feel anything?” He looks up at the doctor, a small frown on his face, as if he’s looking for some kind of confirmation for his feelings. 

The doctor tuts his tongue lightly, before continuing. “That’s okay, I’m sure you will be able to discuss that further with your therapist later. If you don’t have anything you want to add...” he pauses to allow him to add something before moving on. “Well, in that case, shall we talk about your physical health. Now I can see that there is an unfamiliar face here. I don’t think we’ve talked much. Do I have your permission to continue with him in the room?” He asks while looking towards Jeonghan. 

Seungkwan looks over at the older Omega. They had had many nights where they would curl up together while Seungkwan fell asleep, the younger finally being able to find comfort in the arms of another Omega for the first time in years. The bond between them had grown really strong considering Seungkwan didn’t really get to know any of the new friends in his group since high school. Seungkwan gives a small nod. 

“As long as it doesn’t make you hate me.” Seungkwan says uneasily. Jeonghan immediately grabs Seungkwan’s hand in silent reassurance. Seungkwan slumps a little in relief before facing the doctor again. 

“Well then, Seungkwan. You’ve gained a kilo or two since you were discharged. It’s hard to tell exactly with the cast and all, but any gained weight is good progress. As you know, you’re severely underweight, which is bad in general, but particularly dangerous with your current condition. You’re nearly at three months, so you’ll want to try and gain another few kilos by New Years. For the baby.”

Seungkwan felt a squeeze from Jeonghan. He looks over to see Jeonghan staring straight ahead with tears gathering along his waterline. He squeezes back. 

“My nausea hasn’t been too bad, but I’m finding that I just can’t eat as much as my friends want me to eat.” Seungkwan says sheepishly. And it was true, that while Seungkwan’s vomiting had lessened in frequency, his appetite wasn’t big enough to sustain him, let alone a baby. 

“We can give you a suggested meal guide to follow, but my concern is that your being underweight seems to be a more chronic condition than being a recent occurrence. Do you mind sharing with me what the few days following Ha Taewon’s death were like, before your friends found you?” Dr. Lim asks gently. 

“Well, the evening that my Alpha left,” Seungkwan start shakily, swallowing hard, “I had a few pieces of tofu with some vegetables. I had been trying to diet because my Alpha had let me know that he was concerned that I might have let myself go. He knew me better than I know myself so I took his word for it. Then I think it happened. The next day few days I woke up to throw up. Then I drank some water and went back to sleep. Then I would eat half an apple or a few baby carrots until I was full. I tried to do some light exercise but it would just make me feel dizzy so I went back to lie down. The day I ended up in the hospital, I was thinking that if I did better, maybe then it wouldn’t be true. Maybe if I pleaded him, my Alpha wouldn’t have left me. I didn’t eat anything so I was throwing up and my throat was burning and then I woke up.” As he finishes speaking, Seungkwan is breathing much harder than when he started. He’s not sure when, but Jeonghan has both his hands in his, rubbing his thumbs in soothing circles on the back of his hands. 

The doctor proceeds with some more questions. “That sounds like extremely restrictive dieting. How long or how often would you follow that plan?”

Seungkwan pauses for a moment, thinking. “Well, I had tried to diet when I was 16 or 17, but I wasn’t ever successful because my friends in high school helped me sneak more food than my Alpha wanted. I know I shouldn’t have, but I guess I was still young then. Still rebellious. Trying to pretend that I wasn’t just an Omega.” Jeonghan seems to tense up a little heading the words coming out of the younger’s mouth, but Seungkwan doesn’t I notice. “But once I turned 18 and I stopped having to attend school, I was able to fully commit myself to my diet. I was kinda relieved, because I was afraid my Alpha would leave me for those first years because my body was disappointing.”

The scene of the room is tense. The hair on the back of Seungcheol’s neck is practically standing up and Seokmin’s hands are clenching either side of his plastic hospital chair. 

The doctor simply nods his head. “I would say that perhaps that has caused your inability to each larger amounts that you need for the health of your baby. I will make sure that we have our nutrition specialist help create a more gradual plan to help you adapt. However I do want to request that you take a little bit of agency in making your food now. Watch other cooking and portion food. It’ll help you see how much is too much, just right, or not enough.”

“Not enough?” Seungkwan’s pupils seem to dilate a bit at the doctor’s remarks. 

“The next matter I want to talk about before we move onto your ultrasound is the babies before this one. What details can you give me about your previous miscarriages?”

The mood shifts quickly. Seungcheol scoots closer to Jeonghan to sling an arm around him in comfort. Seungkwan’s hand goes unconsciously to his stomach as he thinks back. 

“When I was 15, I was a first year in high school and my Alpha mated me. After my first heat, I think I had a baby. Because about three months later, I had bleeding and cramping and I couldn’t leave the bathroom for a few hours. Another when I was 16. I believe it was a pair of twins—it just felt like more that time—and one other in my third year of high school. I want to say that since high school, those same pains have happened two, maybe three times?”

The silence is deafening now. Jeonghan has stopped moving, Seokmin had stopped breathing, and Seungcheol can’t even think. 

“Seungkwan, this is an important question. Did you have any heats while you believed yourself to be pregnant before?”

“Yes, of course. Isn’t that normal? My Alpha was always worried whenever they wouldn’t come. My Alpha would immediately give me medicine to help me and make me better. He didn’t give up on me, even though my body was broken for years.”

By now, Seungkwan has tears in his eyes as well. 

Dr. Lim closes his notepad before shuffling through a drawer. “Seungkwan, we’ll have to perform a blood test. There’s something we hadn’t thought to test for last time, and it may help us help you with the baby later on.” He prepares the syringe and cleans the inside of Seungkwan’s left elbow. He waits for Seungkwan to tightly grasp Jeonghan’s hand before drawing the blood. He places the vial in a laboratory bag before placing a bandage on Seungkwan’s arm. 

“With that done, it’s time to go to the ultrasound machine. Time to check up on baby.”

Jeonghan helps Seungkwan down from the table and into the wheelchair that Seokmin wheels behind the doctor. Behind them, the couple walks, hand in hand. Jeonghan tilts his head to rest on his Alpha’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know where to start. We missed so much. We let so much slide.”

“Hannie, don’t blame yourself. You didn’t know him as long as I did. Somehow I didn’t make the connection between Taewon and his weight loss. I didn’t check in enough when I heard he missed school. He always loved school.” Seungcheol brings a hand up to wipe at his eyes. 

“Cheolie, he has such a morphed sense of what it means to show someone you love them. Taewon was worse than even most traditionalists. It doesn’t seem like Seungkwan had any choices at all.”

Seungcheol lays a gentle kiss on his boyfriend’s forehead. “The scariest part is that Seungkwan seems to think that it’s what he deserves. He deserves so much more.”

They reach the ultrasound room and help Seungkwan get comfortable on the table. 

Doctor Lim explains what’s going to happen as he hadn’t been conscious during his first ultrasound. “Is this your first ultrasound? I’m assuming you didn’t have any prenatal care previously?”

“No. This is the first time. Is it cold? Like in the movies?”

That assuages some of the tension from earlier as the doctor chuckles. “Yep, I’m going to apply some gel on your stomach and then use this wand,” He holds up a handheld device, “to take a look inside and see what’s going on. Shall we start?”

Seungkwan gulps uneasily as his hands reach down to the hem of his pastel yellow oversized knit sweater. He pulls it up slowly, revealing his abdomen. His ribs are still visible despite his recent efforts to put on weight. But his thin body makes his bump that much more prominent. Only Seokmin had even felt his bump before and it had still been barely visible then. Now it’s a clearly there. A little bump. Easily hidden by any T-shirt. But there was Seungkwan’s baby. 

Taewon’s baby. 

The doctor applies the gel and Seungkwan shudders. He turns on the monitor and places the wand on his lower belly, pressing in lightly and moving around. A blurry black and white screen shows what must be the inside of Seungkwan’s womb. 

“Aha! Found it. It’s still small, you’re not quite three months yet. But here’s your baby. I think we might be able to-“ Dr. Lim fiddles with a few knobs. 

Suddenly a fast whooshing sound fills the room. Seungkwan and Jeonghan break into tears as the doctor explain that the sound they’re hearing is, in fact, the baby’s heartbeat. 

“Yep, we have the heartbeat. Here’s the head and the butt. By the length of the fetus, I’d say that adjusting for your current condition, I’m going to confirm you to be at about 11 weeks now, so I can predict your due date to be… July 2nd.” 

Seungkwan’s excitement is dashed when he asks, “My condition?”

“Being underweight can cause some complications. One of them is intrauterine growth restriction where the fetus doesn’t develop at the normal rate and another would be insufficient placenta. While the placenta seems to be at the expected size, the fetus seems to be a bit behind in development. That should be fine as long as you continue to work on gaining sufficient weight healthfully.”

The doctor is focused on the screen, as well as all the other eyes in the room, so when Seungkwan starts to pale, no one notices.

“Now let’s take a look at your uterus. Uh on, we might be in a little bit of trouble here…” The doctor trails off before having the wand shoved away. He looks up to see Seungkwan covering his bare stomach with his arms, hunched over and breathing heavily. All of his friends are in various states of worry, shock, and uncertainty at what to do now. The tears of joy from earlier turn into tears of stress and fear. The room floods with the scent of Seungkwan’s terror.

“What, no, no please. Please, you said I could keep this one, you said. Alpha said that I was good. That I did enough!”

Doctor Lim realizes that Seungkwan must be panicking and imagining the situation with Taewon there. He’s not sure what had triggered the episode, but he knows he needs to focus on calming the Omega down. 

“Seungkwan, this is Dr. Lim and your friends,” he says, signaling for the others to follow his lead.

“Yeah, Kwannie, this is Cheolie hyung and you’ve been staying at my apartment with me, remember?”

“I-I got in trouble the last time Alpha told me to call you hyung, s-sir…” Seungkwan bawls as he tries to curl up on himself, which proves difficult with the cast holding him down.

“This is Jeonghan and you’re my cutie, aren’t you, Seungkwannie?”

“Seungkwan, this is Seokmin, and we’ve been best friends since elementary school.”

Seungkwan starts to even out his breathing, but his tears don’t quite stop. Finally when his eyes seem to be a little more aware of his surroundings, the doctor starts to explain.

“Seungkwan, there are a few things I need to explain to you. Do you know where you are and who I am?”

Seungkwan answers correctly after taking a nervous glance around.

“Seungkwan, there is no immediate danger to you or your baby. Your baby is a bit underdeveloped, but you have six months more to catch up and you will. There is a problem that we can take care of right now. You seem to have a weak cervix, likely because of your previous pregnancies, I have some concern that your cervix may be funneling already, but it’s a good thing to catch it now. We can do a surgical procedure where we sew your cervix shut to keep it intact throughout your pregnancy. Do you understand what the problem is? You can just nod.”

Seungkwan nods.

“Do you understand what we can do to fix it right now?”

Another nod.

“We’ll have a nurse take you to a surgical consultation room to help you make a final decision. Do you mind if I hold back Seungcheol and Seokmin for some discussion about some further medical jargon?”

Seungkwan looks worriedly at the two before glancing down at his hands that are intertwined with Jeonghan’s now. Jeonghan nods his head reassuringly so Seungkwan give a final nod. The nurse enters the room, hands the doctor a manila folder, and wheels Seungkwan out with Jeonghan at his side.

The doctor doesn’t waste any time now that Seungkwan is out of the room. “I can tell that your patience will be thin after that happened. I get that you’d rather spend a little more time with Seungkwan before he has to go into surgery. The procedure is called a cerclage and it’s a stitching in the cervix to keep it closed. It shouldn’t take a long time but we’ll likely keep him overnight for observation, given his health condition. Now what I think we need to discuss is the fact that Seungkwan likely has some lasting trauma from his relationship with Taewon. I’m concerned that he had a codependent relationship involving physical abuse and emotional manipulation. We’ll certainly find out more after he starts attending the counseling sessions, but as of now, I’d say that Seungkwan probably didn’t have many choices in the past few years. I’d try to take notice about how he responds when you ask him about things. But do try to make sure he knows that he can make decisions. Let him learn about what he likes because he may not know.”

While Seungcheol and Seokmin asked more questions about how to make sure that Seungkwan learns about healthy relationships, Seungkwan was close to panicking again in the pre-op room with Jeonghan and the surgeon. 

“So you’re saying that this will help my Alpha’s baby? I get to keep this one?” Seungkwan asks, voice wavering as he wraps his arms tightly around his stomach.

“The cerclage will likely be able to prevent any further dilation of the cervix. It will help your baby continue as long as possible, giving the best chance for a healthy baby. It shouldn’t take too long, and this procedure has helped many Omegas before to deliver healthy babies.”

Seungkwan stops to think about it. He hasn’t had to make a big decision like this for a long time—if ever. His Alpha had known and understood that he hated hospitals, so he had never taken him to a hospital when they had been together. His Alpha always knew enough to take great care of him. He had been given plenty of chances by his Alpha to carry his baby, but every time he hadn’t been good enough to keep the baby. Seungkwan knows what he has to do—his Alpha would have done anything for him, so he had to do anything for his baby.

“I’ll do it. If you think it’ll help, I’ll do it.”

Jeonghan grabs Seungkwan’s hand reassuringly. The door opens and Seungcheol and Seokmin enter. Upon hearing Seungkwan’s decision to do the cerclage, Seungcheol wants to know more.

“So can we wait with him? Until the surgery? Because he’d need to fast for a while before right? That happened when I had to get my tonsils out last year.”

“Mr. Choi, right? Well, as we have been informed by Seungkwan, he hasn’t eaten anything since last night, which would allow us to proceed now. So with that, we will start to prep for the cerclage, and you can expect to be updated on his post-op status in an hour and a half.”

~~

Aftering waiting in the lobby for an hour and a half, Seungcheol and Jeonghan get called by the doctor. Seokmin had left earlier to run some errands before going to work, but only after having the other two promise to update him the moment they knew anything. 

They enter the room and see Seungkwan sleeping on the bed. It’s strangely reminiscent of a week or two ago, when they saw him for the first time recently. But this time, he’s peaceful and while not much, the slightly fuller appearance of his cheek gives them both a little hope that Seungkwan will be able to recover fully. 

“Seungkwan did great in surgery today. The cerclage is in place and should prolong his pregnancy to term. When labor does happen, hopefully after 37 weeks, we will have to remove the stitches before delivery. We also recommend allowing him to stay overnight for some observation, mainly due to psychological concerns. Physically, he should be fine, but it is an invasive procedure, and with his history of alleged sexual abuse, we’d rather be able to take care of him here than discharge him now.”

They wait until Seungkwan wakes to hang out and make sure he’s okay with staying overnight. After endless reassurances from Seungkwan, the two finally leave after sharing a few snacks and dinner, Seungcheol carefully watching to make sure the other eats.

~~ 

Hansol was just minding his business when he saw it. He swears, he just entered his older brother’s room to steal his charging cord as his own had died after getting too frayed. He had shuffled around his nightstand when he saw it.

It was a book about abusive relationships. 

Odd, Cheol hyung doesn’t think Jeonghan is abusive right? Or does hyung think someone else is in an abusive relationship? Seokmin and Shu- nah, couldn’t be. Soonie and Hoonie hyung? Wait- 

Seungkwan.

It had to be about Seungkwan. Even though Seungkwan didn’t seem to have a mate or a partner of any sort, that could be the reason he was staying with them. 

His mind immediately turns to imagine what kind of person could have possibly wanted to hurt Seungkwan. From the last week he had been staying in the apartment, he seemed like a really nice and quiet boy. Someone who would never give a reason to get angry or upset with. 

He hears a key entering the door and rushes out of his brother’s room, forgetting to put the book back, hiding it behind his back instead. 

“Sollie, what were you doing in my room?” Seungcheol asks lightheartedly as he takes his and Jeonghan’s coats to place in the closet.

“Hyung… Is Seungkwan okay?”

Seungcheol turns to look closer at his step brother. Hansol looks nervous and then he brings something from behind his back.

“Is this because of Seungkwan?”


	4. CHAPTER FOUR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan is discharged from the hospital and the officers stop by with some bad news...

Seungcheol grabs Hansol’s wrist and pulls him to sit on the sofa. He figures that he’d have to eventually tell his brother about Seungkwan’s situation, even though he had been hoping for Seungkwan to open up about it himself. His brother didn’t really have much exposure to tough parts of life. Seungcheol’s own parents had adopted a young Hansol and his younger sister Hangyeol when they couldn’t have any more children after himself. After being adopted, neither had to face any more hardships, as his parents were very financially comfortable. Seungcheol had made it his responsibility to keep his siblings protected.

Particularly Hansol. Hangyeol was a tough little girl, but Hansol was a gentle kid. He cried when they watched Up, Marley & Me, and Coco. And don’t get him started on Titanic. He had even had a girlfriend once because he didn’t know how to turn the girl down, and Seungcheol had to break up for him because the relationship was causing him too much stress. 

So obviously, Seungcheol wanted to ruminate on a plan for how to let Hansol in on what was going on with Seungkwan. 

But now there wasn’t too much of a choice.

“Sollie, I don’t want what I’m about to tell you to change the way you think about Seungkwan. What I think he needs right now is people to treat him as normally as possible. He… dated this Alpha for four years… and they were Bonded mated… until he died a few weeks ago. And we’re pretty sure that Taewon, the Alpha, didn’t treat Seungkwan right. We think that Taewon might have… hurt Kwannie and kept him from doing what he wanted.”

“But hyung, why would someone do that? Why didn’t Seungkwan leave? Why didn’t you do anything?”

Jeonghan sits on the other side of Hansol on the couch and gathers the crying boy into his arms. “Hansollie, shhh, trust me. We don’t know how anyone could treat anyone like that, but we didn’t know it was happening. And I don’t think Kwannie knew it was happening either. Sometimes people don’t realize that they’re… being abused. No one is to blame for what happened to Seungkwan, except Taewon.”

“Wait, where is Seungkwannie?”

 

“Oh, he’s staying at the hospital tonight after getting a minor procedure done. No, no, shh, don’t worry, he’s fine. It’s just for some health reasons and he should be fine now. But you can help, by helping all of us show him what it means to be good, caring friends. While we did hang out with him in the years he was dating Taewon, I still think that he messed with his head. He needs to see how people care for each other and for him. Do you think you can do that?”

“I would do anything for a friend. Hyung, do you really think I can help him?”

Seungcheol sits back to look his brother in the eyes. The tears seem to have stopped but he keeps sniffling. His brother might be a bit of a dumbass sometimes, but he’s proud to have a dumbass brother with the biggest heart of anyone he knew. He knows that someone as caring as his brother would be the best kind of person to be around Seungkwan. 

“Yes. I think you can do him a lot of good. And a little heads up, there’s a bit more to Seungkwan’s story that I don’t think I can share without his permission, but I believe that he’ll be the one to share with you when he’s ready. So just count to 10, calm down a bit, and just one thing to remember is to make sure you give Seungkwan choices. He’s spent four years with every decision made for him and a little patience will go a long way with him.”

Hansol takes deep breath and counts slowly to 10 in his mind before giving his brother a hug, “Thanks hyung. Seungkwan is lucky to have a friend like you. I’m gonna go to my room until dinner, is that okay?”

“Sure, see you later. Rest up.” Seungcheol ruffles his hair before Hansol heads to his room.

Seungcheol let out a deep sigh when he feels Jeonghan slip into his lap and wrap his armsa around his neck. He looks up to see his boyfriend looking at him with a look of concern.

“Seungkwan is lucky to have a friend like you, ya know? And I’m lucky to have such a an amazing and loving boyfriend. I think you need to relax, and I think I need some cuddles. Come on, babe.” Jeonghan places a small peck on side of his mouth before getting up and sauntering over to their shared bedroom.

Seungcheol cracks his neck to the side before getting up to follow his boyfriend, ready for cuddles and maybe if he plays his puppy eyes right, he’ll get to be the little spoon this time.

~~

Seungkwan finishes up his lunch, a little eager as he eats more than he thought he could because he gets to leave the hospital in a bit. His best friend Soonyoung had come by to pick him up and take him back to his apartment. He had promised him that they could hang out after he gets home and that maybe he’d even show Seungkwan a dance he was working on. Soonyoung had always been a squirmy little id, but he soon found a dance class to channel all his energy. He became an amazing dancer really quickly and Seungkwan had always been in awe. 

Seungkwan had wanted to try it out when he was younger. But his Alpha had made sure that he knew that he wasn’t very good, so he wouldn’t embarrass himself.

Soonyoung enters the room with Jihoon trailing after him. Jihoon goes to wheel the wheelchair around to the side of the bed, while Soonyoung helps hoists Seungkwan out of bed to princess carry him into the chair. Seungkwan lets out a small squeal of surprise before letting out a small giggle, a sound Soonyoung feels he hasn’t heard for years.

They get into the car and Jihoon drives them to the apartment while Soonyoung sits in the back with Seungkwan so he can hold his cast leg on his lap.

“You don’t have to do that hyung,” Seungkwan tries to swing his body back to face forward in the car, but Soonyoung won’t let him.

“Aren't you supposed to keep it elevated? This is fine. Plus, I wanted to ask you, how did the …” Soonyoung trails off as he starts to mimic something with his hands.

Seungkwan realizes he’s trying ask him about his ultrasound, the original reason for going to the hospital yesterday.

“It was good. Yeah, really good.” Seungkwan replies quietly, because he’s not quite ready for anyone else to find out about his pregnancy. Sure, he’s almost done with his first trimester, but he’s been there before and it still didn’t go well. He wanted to wait longer before anyone else found out.

Soonyoung reaches over to grab Seungkwan’s hands and squeezes lightly. “You’re doing great. I’m not sure if you really know that, like really, really feel that. But you’re doing great, Kwannie.”

Soonyoung knows that Seungkwan is still stuck in the messed up mindset that Taewon left him with, but he really hopes that he’ll be able to return to the carefree and obnoxiously loud person he was before he met Taewon. The Seungkwan from before loved children and babies, always wanting his own one day. Soonyoung is certain that it was this side of him that really let Taewon take advantage of him so deeply. And as much as he hates what Taewon did to him, he’s glad that at least Seungkwan could be positive about the baby.

They pull up to the apartment building and help Seungkwan back to his room. Soonyoung leaves the new crutches in the corner. The doctor thought it would help if Seungkwan felt a little more mobility and freedom. Seungcheol and Jeonghan invite the two other boys to stay over for dinner. Jeonghan takes a bowl of food to Hansol’s room and knocks.

“Hansol-ah, want some dinner?”

“Yeah, can I eat in my room?”

Jeonghan enters the younger boy’s room and places the bowl on his bedside table. “You know that your brother doesn’t like you to eat in the room when we’re all having dinner, but I’ll let you. Just make sure to bring the dishes out when you’re done, okay?”

Hansol nods as Jeonghan closes his door behind him. He then heads over to Seungkwan’s room with another bowl. He knocks gently and waits a few moments, before opening the door anyway. Seungkwan is sleeping, curled up on top of his sheets. Jeonghan places the food down, then gently maneuvering Seungkwan under the sheets. After tucking the boy into the bed, he places his hands on either side of his face, thumbs caressing over his cheeks. He then leaves the meal on the side table in case he wakes up soon.

When he returns to the table, Seungcheol is on the phone. He hangs up and apologizes for taking the call.

“It was the officers investigating Taewon. They’re coming over because they found something concerning Seungkwan. I said that it was okay, but if any of you don’t want to be here for it, then you might want to leave soon.”

“I feel like I need to be here for it, but Hoonie, if you want to go home, I can get a ride home later.”

“I’ll stay. I wasn’t always the closest to Seungkwan, but I want to be able to help him. It’s messed up what Taewon must have done to him. And if Omegas don’t look out for each other than who else will.” Jihoon glances at Jeonghan, reminding the group that long before Jihoon was dating Soonyoung and Jeonghan was dating Seungcheol, Jeonghan had punched some Alphas who were about to sexually assault a younger Jihoon straight in the face. Jeonghan had always had many friends but kept his fellow Omegas a little bit closer. He started having Omega nights every month where he’d invite Jihoon, Wonwoo, Joshua, Moonbin, Jimin, and others. They would just gossip, talk about mates, boyfriends, and crushes, order takeout and watch movies, basically bond with each other. Jeonghan felt it was important for Omegas to have each other’s backs and it really worked.

His thoughts are interrupted by a sudden knock on the door.

“Must be the officers,” Seungcheol gets up to open the door. Officer Jo and Hwang enter solemnly. 

“Evening, Seungcheol, gentlemen.” Officer Jo says as he enters the apartment. “I won’t sugarcoat this. We don’t have good news. The only good side of this is that it can’t happen to Seungkwan anymore.”

“Do you mind if we sit?” asks Officer Hwang, and Seungcheol draws up two more chairs to the table. 

“I want to warn anyone sensitive to graphic material to leave. It’s going to be very upsetting. We found Taewon’s cell phone and were able to unlock it. On it, we were able to find evidence to confirm our suspicions that Taewon was physically abused. There is a folder of photos...”

Officer Jo looks around to check on the others. He pulls an evidence bag containing a cell phone out of his bag. He pulls out the phone, turns it on, and opens the Photos app. 

“There are graphic photos of Seungkwan, some of them seem to show Seungkwan in various level of undress, with bruises all over his body. These seem to start showing up little less than four years ago, which would fit our timeline of when they may have mated or Bonded. Soon after we have photos of Seungkwan sleeping, some naked and many with bruises. More recently, there are series of photos where you can track his severe weight loss, likely due to emotional manipulation by Taewon.”

The officer places the phone flat on the table so the others can see. He swipes between a few photos where you can see large bruises and what looks like hickeys covering his shoulders and neck that fade between the photos, which must be days apart because the next photos also show a much thinner Seungkwan. His collarbones peek out more than they did before. 

The officer continues, “Now, the next photos you may not want to see. As you get more recent, the content of the photos gets more and more explicit. Many of them would be considered child pornography, as Seungkwan would have been underage until earlier this year.”

Seungcheol and Soonyoung feel their blood start to boil. As Alphas, they tend to feel more protective of Omegas they’re close to. Neither could bear to look at the photos, but both heard the gasps from their boyfriends. 

Jeonghan almost loses his dinner when he sees the photos of Seungkwan smiling at the camera despite his bruises scattered around his naked body. He looks over to see Jihoon quietly wiping away a few stray tears. 

“Now there are more photos that reveal more of Taewon’s physical abuse. These next ones show evidence that Seungkwan’s… losses may have been caused by Taewon’s beatings.”

Jihoon scrunches up his face before he feels Soonyoung grab his hand. He looks up at his boyfriend, who pulls him closer to kiss him forehead and whispers in his ear, “Seungkwan is having a baby… But it’s not his first time being pregnant.” Jihoon immediately understands as he looks up at the officers again. They place the phone back on the table, facing them.

The first photo shows Seungkwan, with a thin T-shirt on, bruises peeking out over the collar and out his sleeves. He’s smiling and holding a pregnancy test that signals positive, but he looks young. Probably his second year of high school. 

Soonyoung remembers that Seungkwan wore almost exclusively turtlenecks and oversized sweaters during his second year in high school. He had figured it was just a style decision—not a ploy to hide signs of abuse.

The next photo the officer scrolls to shows Seungkwan once again smiling and holding up his shirt to reveal what looks like a small bump. He must have been a few months pregnant, but what was even more disturbing was what looks like fresh bruises across his arms, neck, and stomach. 

The last photo the officer scrolls to shows Seungkwan again, but this time he’s not smiling. This time, he has one hand covering a blotchy crying face while the other seems to be reaching to the camera to stop the photo from being taken. He’s only wearing underwear which leaves all the bruises around his entire body fully visible. The one that really draws Jeonghan’s attention is the large purple and yellow bruise on his stomach. Clearly it wasn’t fresh and had been there for at least a few hours.

The insinuation left in the air makes Jeonghan sick. He actually gets up and runs to the bathroom before heaving his dinner into the toilet bowl. He feels Jihoon’s hand on his back as he wipes his mouth with some tissues, when suddenly the tangy scent of fear reaches their noses. 

“I don’t recognize that scent? Fruity, kinda like tangerines?”

Jeonghan gasps. “Tangerines? It has to be Seungkwan.”

The two Omegas rush back to the common area to find that not only had Seungkwan come out of his room on his crutches, but Hansol was also standing, jaw dropped, holding his dirty dishes in the kitchen. 

Seungcheol and Soonyoung stand at the table, backs to either of the boys, anger and frustration radiating off of them. The pheromones in the air are so strong that Jeonghan can feel his inner Omega trying to escape from the situation. He can’t even fathom how Seungkwan would be feeling exposed to all these Alpha pheromones.

Turns out he wouldn’t have to wait too long, because moments later Seungkwan stumbles and falls back, his clutches clattering to the ground, gaining the attention of all the people in the room. 

“Seungkwan!”

“Kwannie!”

Seungkwan’s fearful reaction to hearing his name shouted by two Alphas makes Jeonghan realize what’s happening. He’s afraid and is being caught up in bad memories from when he was with Taewon.

“I’m sorry.” His lip is quivering as he tries to breathe, starting to gasp for breath. “I’m sorry. I should’ve known better.”

“Seungkwan, are you okay?” Soonyoung moves to help him up, but Jihoon holds him back, seeing as it makes Seungkwan cower more, trying to scramble back on the floor, his cast keeping him from getting back up on his own. 

“I should’ve known, I should’ve known. He always needed photos and you’re Alphas, too. I can’t just stay here being useless…” Seungkwan starts to lift his shirt over his head, arms trembling as he slowly reveals his pale and thin torso. 

“A useless Omega….” Seungkwan mutters to himself as everyone else stares shocked at him discard his shirt, his small petite baby bump peeking over the line of his sweatpants. 

Hansol looks from Seungkwan’s tears to his stomach to the other Alphas in the room before walking slowly towards him. Others in the room are nervous, afraid that Hansol, as a younger Alpha, would react badly and maybe even hurt him.

“He always wanted photos, maybe you want photos, too, you can take photos, even though I’m not pretty, not pretty at all….” Seungkwan keeps spilling out more and more as he cries harder until Hansol reaches him, taking his own sweatshirt off and wrapping it around Seungkwan who is now shivering and crying.

“Kwannie, shhh, breathe, okay? Just breathe and count to 10, okay?” 

“B-but it’s the least I c-can do. Just some photos, I know I’m not pretty, my Alpha would always make me pretty fir-”

“Kwannie, I think you’re already pretty, but you still need to calm down. Do you mind if I lift you up? To go to your room?”

“Anything you want.”

Hansol takes a breath, before looking around at the others in the room, the two other Alphas being held back by their respective boyfriends, while the officers sit tensely at the table, trying not to interrupt the situation. He’s somehow the calmest in the situation, despite the fact that all he can feel is the tangerine scent emanating from the distressed Omega.

“Kwannie, you don’t have to take any photos if you don’t want to. I’ll only pick you up and take you to your room if you want me to. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” 

Seungkwan looks at him confused. The sweatshirt, which is already big on Hansol, is overwhelming on his small body. He doesn’t look scared like he had been. Now he just looks confused. Maybe this was good, maybe this was him trying to make his own decision. 

Seungkwan looks down for a second and stares at his hands covered with the sleeves of the sweatshirt. He holds his arms out to Hansol. 

“Yes. I want to go to my room. Will you take me?” He asks, still sounding uncertain. 

“Of course, whatever you want.” Hansol leans down to slip his arms behind Seungkwan’s back and under his legs. Seungkwan wraps his arms around Hansol’s neck, as he lifts him off the ground. It’s shockingly easy for Hansol to stand, Seungkwan seeming to weigh close to nothing. This concerns Hansol, especially as he had just heard that Seungkwan is having a baby. He files that away to think about later. 

He enters Seungkwan’s room and pulls back the covers before setting the smaller down on the bed. He tucks Seungkwan into bed before darting out of the room.

He runs into his room and looks around for some things. He can hear talking out where the others must still be, but he stays focused. He finds what he wants before running out into the kitchen. He rustles through the fridge, finding what he’s looking for and heading back for Seungkwan’s bedroom door. 

He hears his brother try to call his name, but he ignores it in favor of continuing with his little idea. He knocks softly, “Kwannie, can I come in?”

A moment of silence. “Sure.”

He struggles to turn the door knob as he is carrying too many things. He gets in and shuts the door softly. “Is it okay if I close the door?”

“Yeah.”

He turns to see Seungkwan tucked into the bed. He’s looking back at him, looking a little startled, eyes a little red from having just cried. 

“Do you mind if I join you?”

“It’s fine.” Seungkwan pats the other side of the queen bed, sitting up and drawing his legs up. 

Hansol sets a candle on the side table, tosses his laptop onto the bed, releases some loose tangerines to rolls onto the bed, and then a pack of matches and a few packets.

“Candle. Sea breeze.” He lights the candle, blowing out the match. “You’re from Jeju, right? Maybe this will remind you a bit of home then?”

“Smells nice.” Seungkwan says in a soft voice. 

Hansol then opens his laptop and logs into Netflix. “I was thinking we could watch a movie or a show. And if you find something you like, you can use my laptop anytime to watch Netflix. I’ll leave it logged in. Feel free.”

“Thanks. What’s Netflix?”

“What’s Netflix! Oops, I didn’t mean to shout, but Netflix is one of the greatest inventions of the 21st century. It allows us young millennials access to thousands and thousand of movies and TV shows for monthly rate. I don’t want to sound like an infomercial, but I love it. I was thinking something light-hearted. Are there any shows you like so I can find us a recommendation?”

“That sounds amazing, but…. I didn’t have a laptop, or a TV, so I didn’t really watch television. But I’m sure anything you like would be good.”

Hansol remembers that Seungkwan was not only abused but limited from the outside world. He nods before continuing, “Well, I think that Parks and Rec could be a good sitcom for us to start with. And I brought some sheet masks. I know that Jeonghan and Joshua always do them when they want to relax, and sometimes they make hyung do it with them. And I know that having good skin can help feel better, more confident…. Even though your skin is already glowing, I figured that Shua hyung wouldn’t miss two masks.”

Seungkwan blushes and tries to hide behind his hands. “I’m not pretty….”

Hansol looks up at him with wide eyes and a confused expression. “What do you mean? Do you not feel pretty?”

“Well, my Al-”

“Not what Taewon told you. How do you feel? How does Seungkwan feel about Seungkwan?”

“I… don’t know? I guess if I don’t have my Alpha, it feels like I don’t belong to someone, I feel like I don’t belong anywhere…”

“You know, you’re the same person, with or without Taewon or any Alpha or anyone else. You are you, and I want to know you more. And what you like. And if you like tangerines? Because your scent is tangerines so I brought some. We can eat them after the sheet masks. I don’t think I could eat them with it on.”

Seungkwan ends up laughing a little when Hansol’s words take a turn to be more lighthearted. Hansol had said everything with such gusto that Seungkwan was a bit taken aback. But he relaxed a little more when Hansol seemed to expect nothing but some Netflix and sheet mask time. 

“Here,” Hansol says as he hands Seungkwan the sheet mask and goes to open his own. He then searches for the show on Netflix and chooses an episode. “I don’t know about you, but you seem like a watch-each-episode-chronologically type of person. I usually do, but I think that this is a better way to make sure you get hooked by the show.”

“I think it makes sense to watch them in order. But I guess Mr. Netflix-is-God’s-gift-to-mortals will make the better decision, hm?”

Hansol whips his head to look at Seungkwan, as the Parks and Rec theme song plays in the background, “Did you just sass me?”

“Yes? Is that okay?”

“Of course, it’s not a bad thing at all. It means you’re feeling more comfortable. I want you to be comfortable. Plus, it’s hard to take you seriously when you have a sheet mask on.”

They both stare at each other, taking in the fact that with Hansol’s mouth wide open underneath the mask, most of the chin portion is in his mouth and the left side of Seungkwan’s is slipping down his face. They break out into laughter. Which ends up with Hansol’s mouth full of sheet mask and it’s worth it to hear how loud Seungkwan really is when he allows himself to be.

They settle down and focus on the subtitles of the show. They take off their sheet masks at the end of the episode, and Hansol runs as fast as he can to toss them away during the few seconds of credits he has before the next episode starts.

Hansol starts to peel the tangerines and alternating between feeding himself one and giving one to Seungkwan. He sees Seungkwan shiver a little. 

“Are you cold?”

“A bit.”

“Here, come a little closer. Friends always say I’m basically a human space heater.”

Seungkwan hesitantly scoots closer to slide under Hansol’s raised arm and against his side. He’s nervous to be this close to the young Alpha, but he wasn’t wrong. He already can feel the heat radiating off of Hansol warming him. 

Ever since he had seriously started losing weight, he had difficulties staying warm, especially in the cold winter months in Seoul. He too often spent nights shivering and trying to fall asleep, usually because he hadn’t pleased his Alpha. He is just beginning to feel that he didn’t deserve to be held so closely and kept so warm, when Hansol interrupts his thoughts.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, you just seemed a little distracted. Maybe you want to start from the very beginning now?”

“Sure, sounds good.”

A pause.

“Seungkwan, I have a question. You don’t have to answer. But maybe, you can ask me a question too.”

“Alright. Ask.”

“Why do you only call Taewon your Alpha, and not just, you know, Taewon?”

“I was told that Omegas should never call Alphas by their name. That it’s rude. And if I did call his name, I’d be punished. And I don’t want to be punished.”

Hansol waits a moment. “That might be true with some people, very traditional people, but I hope you can see that’s not true with us. Most people don’t mind anymore. Nowadays, Omegas have a lot more rights and you shouldn’t be afraid of being punished for things like that. Like take hyung and Jeonghan hyung. Hyung is an Alpha and Jeonghan is an Omega, but Jeonghan hyung always calls hyung a whiny baby or a brat, because he is. But that’s part of their relationship. They tease each other because they care. Because they’re comfortable together.”

“Oh,” Seungkwan sighs. “That sounds nice.” He curls up tighter next to Hansol. Hansol wraps his arm tight around his shoulders. “So, can I call you…?”

“You can call me Hansol, of course. Or give me a nickname. Like hyungs like to call me Sollie.”

“Should I ask you a question now?”

“If you have one, go ahead.”

“Alright. If you could gain one skill, what would you want?”

“I would want to be able to cook. Like I can make pasta—don’t look at me like that, you have no proof—but I want to be able to make food with more than like three ingredients. Like, imagine if I could make meatballs. That’d really spice up my pasta, and my life.”

That makes Seungkwan laugh, so he does, before trying to muffle his laughter.

“No, don’t. Just laugh. Life is more fun when you just let yourself laugh.”

So Seungkwan does. He just lets himself laugh out loud.

And he laughs loud enough that the others, who were still out in the common area, feel relief wash over them.

Seungkwan might not be fine now. But there was still the bright and cheery boy deep inside.

Maybe they could be enough for Seungkwan.


	5. CHAPTER FIVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More stuff happens. Overall happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry if anyone wanted to follow this that I didn’t update sooner. Kinda got stuck and then started doing my mini one shot plot bunnies. But I’m back and going to try and update at least twice a month. Maybe once a week once school is out.

A few days later, Hansol wakes up when he feels a sudden movement from next to him. He had fallen asleep watching Netflix next to Seungkwan again, as he had been for a few nights in the last week. Seungkwan had, of course, been drawn in by the humor and storyline and characters of Parks and Rec.

Hansol hears retching come from the joint bathroom, and he gets up from the bed to make sure Seungkwan was okay.

He kneels gently besides the boy hunched over the toilet, rubbing his back gently. Hansol shushes him when he has tears stream down his face. It seems that Seungkwan had a low pain tolerance and cried easily, which meant it was a mess whenever he was struck by his morning sickness. He helps Seungkwan stand up and to wash his mouth in the sink. He then offers him a glass of water. 

“Hansollie?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I ask a favor?”

Hansol turns to look at the older boy. “Of course! What do you need?”

Seungkwan picks at the sweatshirt he’s wearing. It’s the same one he had been given by Hansol after his breakdown. “I think I need to wash this one. I got this one dirty. I’m really sorry.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. I’ve gotten worse things than vomit on that sweatshirt. Oh, that’s kinda a gross thing to say, isn’t it. Here, gimme that and we can wash it.”

 

Seungkwan shucks off the sweatshirt, careful to not get any puke in his hair. He tosses it to Hansol before looking around for another shirt to wear but realizes he doesn’t have another shirt. He starts to nervously wrap his arms around his body, feeling self conscious.

Hansol turns around from placing the sweatshirt in the hamper in the corner of his room. He sees Seungkwan looking uncomfortable, but he can’t help but take notice of the physical changes in him. His cheeks had gotten a little bit fuller and his ribs were less noticeable, mostly thanks to Hansol and Seungcheol realizing that he ate the most when he was distracted by other people during meals. Which didn’t mean that Seungkwan didn’t want to eat enough, but more that he was unfamiliar with how much food was adequate still. 

“Are you okay? Do you need another shirt? Or a sweatshirt? You can just borrow something of mine for now.” He goes to his drawers and pulls out a large pink knit sweater and an undershirt. “What about these? I don’t have too much that’s clean right now, gotta do some laundry. But I think it would suit you.”

“If you think so, sure.” He catches the two tops that Hansol tosses towards him. He pulls the t-shirt on, frowning as it puckers around his stomach. “Hansollie, do you have a bigger shirt? I don’t think this shirt fits right.”

Hansol glances towards him, looking down towards his stomach then up to his face. “It doesn’t quite fit because you’re pregnant. Don’t you think it’s good that you’re growing? I think it’s healthy. You’re looking healthier.”

At that, Seungkwan stops fussing with the shirt, slipping on the pink sweater with a small smile. He stands up and grabs his crutches and makes his way into the kitchen to sit at the counter, waiting for Hansol to join him.

Since realizing that Hansol was a good friend and influence on Seungkwan, Seungcheol, Soonyoung, and Seokmin all agreed that having them hang out together would be a good and safe thing. All Seungcheol’s worries about Hansol being a young Alpha around a vulnerable Omega proved to be fruitless, especially after checking up on the two of them after the incident the other week. He was glad that he could hear all the laughter, and after it died down, he went to check on them, to have his brother return to his room. But upon seeing Hansol sleeping on top of the covers and Seungkwan under them, curled up to his side and head resting on his arm, Seungcheol decided to let them be. 

And now, they were left to themselves when the older roommates in the apartment all went to work. Joshua for some reason trusted Hansol in their kitchen, probably just because he wanted Seungkwan to be able to eat. 

“So Kwannie, whaddaya want to eat? We got cereal…” but as he tries to pour the box, only crumbs spill out. “Okay, nope, we have no cereal. Maybe some…” He hums as he peruses the cabinets. “We have eggs.” When he sees the nauseous look on the older’s face, he realizes that must be one of those foods that he can’t handle right now.

“Well then, we’ll have to go out and get some groceries if we want to eat. And I want to eat. And I want you to eat. So come on.”

They wait for the taxi that Hansol calls for to arrive, because a bus would be difficult to maneuver with the crutches. When they arrive at the grocery store and Seungkwan looks out nervously from the taxi window, Hansol realizes that this may be the first time Seungkwan had left their apartment to go anywhere besides the hospital. He runs around to the other side of the car to open the door, helping Seungkwan out and to the front of the store. This store is lucky enough to have shopping carts, so Hansol has the great idea to hoist Seungkwan into the cart. Seungkwan tries to protest, but finds himself more comfortable than he thought he’d be and also easier to move around the store. 

They get a new box of cereal, some more tangerines, and a lot of other food. They spend some time in the freezer aisle, Hansol searching for his favorite ice cream, when he notices Seungkwan shivering again.

“Here, take my jacket.” Hansol holds it out to Seungkwan. “Come on, it’s already warm.”

“I’m sorry I’m always cold,” Seungkwan takes the jacket and puts it on over his sweater. He snuggles his face into the warm collar, breathing in the mild scent of sweet cinnamon and soap. 

“Don’t worry, you shouldn’t be sorry if it’s not your fault.” 

He grabs favorite vanilla ice cream and tosses two pints into the cart with Seungkwan and the rest of their food.

“What do you want?” He gestures towards the ice cream section, to which Seungkwan shakes his head.

“No, I don’t need any ice cream, it’s fine, this is plenty, you don’t need to get me anything special.”

“While you’re right that no one needs ice cream and I don’t need to get you any, I want to get you some if you want ice cream. So… what flavor? Vanilla, chocolate, cookie dough, strawberry, coffee—but I don’t think that’s a good idea because of the baby—Americone Drea-”

“Mint choco…”

“Hm? Chocolate?” Hansol moves to grab a pint of chocolate ice cream.

“Mint chocolate, and just a small one.” He points to the small cups of ice cream.

“Okay,” Hansol grabs the normal pint-sized mint chocolate chip. “You can thank me later.”

Seungkwan wants to protest, but then Hansol sends him a knowing look, so he just takes the carton and sets it in the cart instead.

After going through checkout, Hansol leaving Seungkwan in the cart as he pushes him through so he wouldn’t see the price of groceries, he helps him out as they get into another car to head home.

Once they get back to the apartment, Hansol decides it’s time to finally cook. He takes two aprons that Jeonghan had bought for him and Seungcheol. He ties one onto himself before tying another on Seungkwan who’s seated at the counter. Hansol blushes when he realizes they’re couple aprons, both of them saying to KISS THE COOK. Seungkwan notices and flushes as well.

Hansol starts cooking some spaghetti and pours some sauce into a little saucepan. He scoots Seungkwan’s stool towards the stove and asks Seungkwan to stir the sauce so it doesn’t burn. Meanwhile, he starts making the meatballs, forming ground beef into balls. He tosses them into a pan, cooking them before tossing those into the sauce.

Hansol scoots Seungkwan back to the counter and unties his apron. He grabs two prepared plates and sets them in front of the two.

“Voila, here we go, spaghetti and meatballs. Let’s see if my super special skill actually came true.” Hansol digs in while Seungkwan gently bites into a meatball.

“I think the meatballs are… good.”

“That doesn’t sound convincing.” Hansol tries the meatball himself. “Oh I see, maybe some flavor next time? I will figure it out.”

 

They finish the spaghetti, Seungkwan stopping to wipe some sauce from the edge of Hansol’s mouth. Hansol gets up to take the plates back to the sink, but not before adding more cheese.

“I think you should kiss the cook because wow, I did a great job today.” Hansol places the dishes in the sink. When returns to Seungkwan’s side, he is surprised by Seungkwan taking two fingers from his lips to Hansol’s cheek. 

“A kiss for the cook.”

~~

Later, Hansol and Seungkwan are sitting on the couch, Seungkwan tucked underneath Hansol’s arm. Seungkwan is peeling some tangerines, eating one piece before holding one piece up to Hansol’s mouth for him to eat. They’re watching more Parks and Rec and actually made it to the third season already.

“Seungkwan.”

“Yes, Hansol?”

“Are you nervous about being pregnant?”

“...Yeah… not so much right now, but I’ve never been very much more pregnant than this before, so actually getting bigger makes me a little scared….But I feel like it gives me direction. I don’t know what else I would do now, if I didn’t have the baby….”

A moment later Seungkwan asks, “If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?”

“I would go to Jeju. You said it was beautiful, and if you think it’s beautiful there, then it really must be something special.”

Hansol pulls out his phone and looks for something for a second. “Now I don’t know much about having a baby, but I was curious because I don’t want you to feel alone. I looked this up. You’re three months now right?”

“Yeah,” Seungkwan says, waiting for Hansol to continue.

“According to a website I found, hold on,” He runs to the kitchen before coming back. “At twelve weeks, your baby is the size,” he holds up a fruit, “of a plum. Here.” He gives the plum to Seungkwan who holds it against his belly. 

“Really? Then why do I look so much bigger than this?” Seungkwan asks while looking closely at the small fruit in his hand.

Hansol rushes to explain before Seungkwan could get worried about his size. “Well, that’s because it isn’t just the baby in there. According to this website, there’s also the placenta and overall growth of the uterus… That’s why people gain more weight than just the weight of the baby.”

Seungkwan hums as he takes that in. It feels like it should be obvious, but he realizes that he really doesn’t know anything about having a baby. He looks at the plum again and then back up to Hansol, who’s staring at him with a weird look on his face.

“Can you tell me more? About the baby?” 

Hansol snaps to attention then back to his phone as he begins to scroll. “Sooo… I don’t know whether you want to hear about how you’ll be dizzy or have headaches or d-discharge, but right now, at twelve weeks, baby is starting to move its fingers and toes. It’s developing reflexes and its brain is growing really fast.”

Seungkwan just stares down as his hands frame both sides of his little bump. Just thinking about all these things happening, the baby growing so fast, while he’s just here without a clue, makes him sad. He is already an inadequate parent. Even Hansol had the idea to look into what to expect. He should’ve thought of that already. He starts to spiral into a cycle of self-criticism, when he feels a hand on his. He looks up to find Hansol looking at him with that weird expression again. 

“What’s going on in your head?”

“I should’ve known about placenta and the baby having brain growth, but I didn’t know anything. Maybe if I had been smarter, then… maybe I wouldn’t be alone right now.”

Hansol feels his heart break when he sees how much Seungkwan believes this. He doesn’t know what he can do to fix this, but he wants Seungkwan to stop blaming himself for these bad things that happened to him. He just wants Seungkwan to see that he’s worth something.

“Kwannie, first of all, you’re not alone. You have Cheol hyung, Jeonghan hyung, Shua hyung, and your best friends, Soonyoung hyung and Seokmin hyung. You have me, too.”

“Really? But if you get to know me better, then you won’t want to be around me anymore.”

“I doubt that. If you’re trying to say that I’m just scratching the surface of who you are, then I’m ready to get to know more of you.”

“I can’t believe you.”

“That’s okay. If there’s one thing I learned in the gen ed math class I had to ta—don’t look at me like that, this has a point—anyway, this math class. The only thing I remember is how important it is to provide a proof for your theorems. So I’m prepared to prove to you that all of us will still want to be around you. Even if you let us in. Especially if you let us in.”

Seungkwan spends a moment just trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He hasn’t had to keep his guard up quite this much in a while. He didn’t need to hide much from Taewon because he never asked him what was on his mind. His friends in high school never focused nearly this much on him. All the focused attention from Hansol made him nervous. He didn’t know how to react to it.

But at the same time, it made him feel special. Hansol wanted to know what he was thinking or what he thought. The hardest part was confronting the fact that there really wasn’t that much to who he was. He used to me someone’s Omega, but now he’s not even that. He didn’t have an identity. He was no one.

But maybe, he could try. Maybe right now, this was a chance, not the end. Maybe now he could find something that made him who he was. He could figure out who he is. 

“Sollie, I think it’s my turn to ask a question. Can I?” 

“Of course, you don’t have to ask permission, though.”

“Noted. Alright, if you want to get to know me more, then I want to know more about you. Biggest fear?”

“I don’t think I have a biggest fear, so much as I’m just a scaredy cat. I hate scary movies. Once I cried because the lights went out in the apartment. I teared up over seeing a three legged dog, too.”

Seungkwan can’t stop himself from laughing at the sad look on Hansol’s face. “Well, then, my turn. Same question or different?”

“Are you okay to talk about your biggest fear?”

“Yeah,” Seungkwan says, a little unsteadily. “Failure. I’m afraid to fail. I’ve already failed a lot, so I should be over it. But I just don’t want to let anyone down.”

Hansol can see the light in Seungkwan’s eye be tampered down as he talks. So he quickly reassures that the only person Seungkwan needs to worry about right now is himself. Himself and his baby.

~~~~~~~

The next week leading up to Christmas was chaotic to say the least. From getting presents to decorating last minute and making dinner and party plans, everyone was exhausted now. Jeonghan had something up his sleeve, Hansol could tell, but his brother was too stupid to notice. Hansol had made some time to hang out with some of his other friends as well, after making sure that Seungkwan would be kept busy by the craziness of his friends, Seokmin and Soonyoung. He’d never understand how he was able to handle their joint company for such an extended period of time.

Until he had come back from some last minute present shopping with Seungcheol. He had wanted to get some clothes for Seungkwan because he didn’t have many and there weren’t a lot of clothes recovered from his old apartment with Taewon. Hansol didn’t mind sharing his clothes, but he didn’t do laundry often enough for the both of them to share his wardrobe and Seungkwan deserved clothes that fit. Seungcheol thought it was a great idea to get Seungkwan some more belongings that he could call him own. Even though he knew Jeonghan would criticize him for their collectively bad sense in clothes.

But when he entered with his brother and as many shopping bags as they could carry, he was met with Soonyoung dancing eccentrically to Seokmin’s attempt at singing trot while Seungkwan laughed and clapped along.

Seungcheol, being a child at heart, immediately dropped his bags to join in with Soonyoung, unashamedly dancing like an idiot. 

This just added to Seungkwan’s laughter, who was now holding his sides and practically crying. And Hansol thought it was the most magical sound. To hear Seungkwan’s loud and carefree laughter. 

So he joins in, dropping his own bags, grabbing a slipper to hold like a microphone while he added adlibs to Seokmin’s trot. 

That’s when Soonyoung joins Seungkwan on the sofa and yells, “Kwannie, you need to come to our pre-Christmas karaoke party!!”

Basically, every year on Christmas Eve—which Soonyoung refuses to call anything but pre-Christmas—the whole squad goes to the nearby karaoke house for at least three hours of chaotic drunk singing. They would get barbecue before heading over so they could stomach all the soju they possibly could. 

One year, they had ended up going to a karaoke house with optional costumes. The next morning they woke up, hungover, and most of them were dressed in parts of maid costume. Needless to say, they were banned. 

But it was a tradition ever since Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua were first years in university to go to karaoke. It was a family thing. And now that Seungkwan is a part of the family, he’d have to be part of their Christmas karaoke. 

Jeonghan walks out of his and Seungcheol’s room having heard Soonyoung’s shout. “I think it’d be a great idea. We’ll probably want to swap our soju for something else so we don’t get too out of control. But it would be great!”

Seokmin brightens up at the idea. “We should!! Seungkwan, I remember you were a really good singer when we used to do choir.”

Seungkwan starts to squirm, clearly uncomfortable with the idea of going to karaoke. But he could see how excited his friends were. And he couldn’t be the reason that his friends didn’t have a fun Christmas season, especially after he became such a large burden for them. So he nodded yes. 

And that’s how Seungkwan found himself bundled up in one of Hansol’s coats, being shuffled along the road to the karaoke house. They had come straight from the barbecue restaurant, where all of the gang chose to forego any drinking, which Seungcheol acted like was decided for his own liver and not because Seungkwan couldn’t drink while pregnant. Seungkwan appreciated the diversion, unable to handle too much attention on himself. 

Seungkwan is shivering anyway, and his cheeks are red from the wind. Or maybe because, at the restaurant, Hansol kept insisting on feeding him his best pieces of meat. After making sure it was fully cooked. Because he had read that people should take caution with barbecue being well cooked while pregnant. He looks towards Hansol when he suddenly looks up. They lock eyes momentarily before Seungkwan looks back ahead, cheeks flushing even more. 

Hansol is about to ask something when they reach their destination. He holds the door open so Seungkwan can enter before letting go of the door as Joshua is about to enter. He finds it difficult to care when he’s focused on how Seungkwan looks a little nervous. Probably because there were a few people he didn’t know with them. Dongmin and Sanha, Jeonghan’s younger brother, both came, and they were expected a few of their mutual friends to come too. Mingyu came and if both Mingyu and Dongmin were going out, Jungkook found it impossible not to go. Especially if he got to clown his older brother who was dating Mingyu. 

The man at the desk asks if they have a reservation. Seungcheol replies, “Yep, room seventeen.”

They are let inside the largest room in the karaoke bar. The lights are off already and Soonyoung and Seokmin start to get warmed up. 

Hansol sees Seungkwan sit himself in the corner of the sofa near the back of the room. He goes to sit by him when he’s intercepted by Seokmin. 

“Sollie, I think I have to tell you something. I think I remembered something. About Seungkwan.”

This had Hansol’s attention. 

“What about Seungkwan?”

“So, some voice in my head keeps telling me that Seungkwan is a great singer, even though I know that right now he doesn’t really sing, but then I remembered that we used to sing together when I used to still see him in high school. One time we were singing and we were told to shut up because together we were quite loud. But then I remembered that one day I was at his apartment and we were singing and then Taewon came home and Seungkwan immediately stopped singing. And he looked terrified and I had to leave right away.”

“Do you think Taewon didn’t let him continue to sing.”

“Seems most likely. I hope he doesn’t let him stop him anymore. If I remember right, he has an amazing voice.”

Hansol knows that’s pretty high praise. Seokmin was currently the lead in a musical at university, playing King Arthur. He was amazing, and he can’t imagine the voice that Seungkwan must have. 

They start off with a SHINee song, thanks to Soonyoung, before Jihoon switches over to a TVXQ song. Hansol made sure to queue up a few songs that he did with Chan or Seokmin or his brother. Mingyu and the rest of his 97 liner friends did a dramatic ballad, making sure to Snapchat the experience to their extended ‘97 group. They were embarrassingly loud and Joshua chose to stop them on their third song in a row, as their choices were getting exceedingly more explicit. He did a duet with Jeonghan that had Cheol and Seokmin a little jealous. The latter two took the chance to pull their boyfriends away the moment that Wonwoo decided on a ballad. Mingyu managed to break a chair while he was distracted by his boyfriend’s singing. Typical. 

The evening was super fun and Seungkwan couldn’t stop himself from humming or mouthing along with the words. Upon seeing this, Hansol scoots closer on the vinyl sofa with the song catalogue in his lap and suggests that Seungkwan choose one. 

“But I can’t sing.” 

It’s a short reply, and one Hansol wholeheartedly doesn’t believe. 

“Well then, I suppose that if you don’t want to, then I’ll have to sing again. Let’s see. Maybe it’s girl group time? Dance The Night Away? Or, no, maybe Wee Woo?”

“Did someone say girl group!” A large figure jumps onto Hansol’s back. It must be a newcomer. Another figure is following behind and he hears a shout from Sanha. 

Dongmin and Sanha walk up to introduce their boyfriends. 

“This is Minhyuk, bane of my existence.”

“Hey, What can I say? I love to torment blonde noodles. And didn’t you call your brother that before?”

This received gasps from both Yoon brothers. 

Dongmin ignored them in favor of introducing his own boyfriend. He gestures towards the other individual and introduces him. “This is Binnie, and I think we’re all about to be extremely embarrased.”

Binnie slaps Dongmin’s shoulder when Seungkwan gasps. “Binnie? Bin? Moonbin?”

“Kwannie?”

“Wait what?” Hansol is confused and it looks like Dongmin is too. Who knows where Minhyuk and Sanha went. 

“Moonbin? Do you really remember me?”

“Of course! How could I forget my best friend!”

Seungkwan and Moonbin quickly explain that for a little while Moonbin’s family had moved to Jeju Island where he and Seungkwan because really close friends. Seungkwan was always too loud but just friendly enough to talk to the new tall kid. They had been inseparable for about three or four years before Seungkwan moved to Seoul and didn’t know how to keep in touch with Moonbin. 

Moonbin had been around before anyone else here knew Seungkwan. And he fully vouched for Seokmin and Soonyoung when they interrupted to ask which song Seungkwan wanted. Because there was no way they’d let him leave without doing at least one song. 

Seungkwan pales again and moves to sit in the back again. His friends don’t push it again and go back to head banging to a newer PSY song. 

Hansol decides to finally ask Seungkwan about it. 

“Why don’t you want to sing. Certainly you’re not afraid to not be good right? Because if only good singers were allowed at karaoke then I’d be breaking all the rules.”

Seungkwan cringes a little bit it’s mostly laughter as he remembers Hansol once again trying to add adlibs to the EDM song that Seungcheol and Joshua had been making whooping noises to. 

“I’m not afraid of not being good enough. I know I’m not. And I’d rather not subject everyone to it.”

“How do you know if you’re not good. It seems like no one’s heard you sing in a long time.”

“Well, Taewon once… told me that if an Omega wasn’t good at singing, then it wasn’t worth wasting my brea-” seungkwan pauses, before starting again, a look of realization on his face. “Is this another one of those things I’m not supposed to ask permission for?”

Hansol is proud that he made this realization on his own. His therapy sessions must have been doing something, because he knows that a few weeks ago, Seungkwan would’ve clammed up about his past experiences by now. Hansol nods slowly, giving him time to process it for himself. 

“So I guess, if I want to sing, I should?” Hansol nods. “And not worry if I’m good or bad.” Another nod. “Because what matters right now is having fun with friends.” Two nods. “And friends will want to do this with me and still want to be around me. This won’t disgust them.” Hansol nods again. 

Seungkwan is mostly staring at his lap where the song book lies. He tentatively takes the book from Hansol’s lap, while the latter gently gets up to retrieve the remote. 

He passes Seokmin and gestures towards Seungkwan where he’s now flipping gingerly through the pages. He seems to find one that interests him so he stops and looks up to meet eyes with him. Seokmin’s eyes light up as he realizes that Seungkwan is finally going to choose his own song. He heads to gather Soonyoung before whispering to Joshua in excitement. 

Hansol makes his way to Seungkwan with the remote and punches in the number he relays to him. He queues it and they wait for Sanha and Minhyuk to finish a tacky old school love song. 

Finally the song is over and they receive a 74, which it seems like Sanha wants to protest. He has to be hauled away by his boyfriend, kicking and flailing, making way for Seungkwan to walk towards the front to see the words on the screen better. 

Seokmin, Soonyoung, and Joshua are huddled up in the corner in excitement. Jeonghan and Seungcheol seemed to catch on to what’s happening and start whispering eagerly. 

The title of the song pops up on the screen: Last Love by Kim Bum-Soo. The beginning of the song starts to play and Hansol can feel his heart start to beat faster in anticipation. He doesn’t know this song but he has a feeling that he’ll be adding it to his feelsy hours playlist soon. 

Seungkwan only manages to get out the first words when Hansol decides it’s the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. 

By the end of the first chorus, Mingyu, Chan, Jungkook, and Dongmin have their arms around each other and are slowly swaying with their phone lights on. Moonbin, Minhyuk, Wonwoo, and Sanha are just standing in awe. 

Seungkwan’s voice grows stronger and steadier until he songs peaks. This is a different Seungkwan now. Before he would never have even been at their Christmas karaoke. But now, this is just the beginning of a new chapter in his life. 

And it’s in that moment that Hansol feels something inside of him break. Like his chest collapsed and something he’d never felt before was flooding him. It wasn’t s bad feeling at all, though. It felt like something finally was fitting in the empty cavity that was his heart. But now, his heart was fuller, fresher, brighter. 

It was full of Seungkwan and his beautiful voice and his twinkling eyes and raucous laughter and soft smile. 

Seungkwan might be a late bloomer in terms to figuring out who he really was. But boy, was he blooming now. And Hansol is so grateful that he’ll have this opportunity to witness Seungkwan in full bloom one day. Seungkwan takes that moment to turn and make eye contact with him. 

Then Hansol’s heart stops. 

Because Hansol knows that he’s in love. 

He’s in love with Seungkwan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and leave kudos. It motivates me to I write more. And if there are any characters you want to see more of or things you want to see happen, lemme know!!


	6. CHAPTER SIX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Christmas

It’s no surprise that Seungkwan got a 100 on Last Love. 

Seungcheol said as much through his tears. Jeonghan, of course, laughed at him for being soft, while also holding back tears.

Moonbin ran to hug him and spin him around, which left him a bit disoriented, before dashing out of the room.

Hansol ran after him, but he figured out what was happening when he reached the bathroom and heard the other throwing up violently. He grabs a cup so he can give Seungkwan water when he’s done. The throwing up had to be because of the baby and being spun, and while Seungkwan grabs the water to drink, he can hear the growling of his stomach. 

“You hungry?”

Seungkwan blushes again, embarrassed to be caught still hungry after going to barbecue only a few hours earlier. 

“Not really… I might just be thirsty.” He finishes the water slowly, as Hansol watches the gears turning in his head. Certainly, he’s overthinking what he ate today again. 

“You know it’s okay to be hungry, right? You’re pregnant AND the doctor did say that you should gain some more weight, right?”

Seungkwan nods slowly. “You’re right. The doctor knows best and I know that I am bad at figuring portions. I’m hungry… Why are you smiling like that?”

“Oh, nothing, but what do you want to eat?”

“...”

“If there’s something you want to eat, we have no problem getting it or making it.”

“Like your spaghetti and meatballs?”

“Ha. Ha. Yes, just like that but better.”

“Better?”

“Well yeah, if you want something cookable, we can ask Mingyu to come with us. The sleepover is at our place anyway, and I’m sure Wonwoo is ready to go home too, and they’re a package deal, but because Mingyu can cook, so I asked if he’d teach me so I can make food you’d actually want to eat, because honestly, I didn’t even want to eat my out mea- oof that sounds weir-”

A hand in his should stops him from rambling on, and he looks over to see a small smile on Seungkwan’s face. 

“Something sweet.”

“Alright then.”

~~~~~~~~~

Hansol was right that Mingyu would come home with them and Wonwoo would follow. But they had to wait for Mingyu to finish the ballad he had started. 

Once they got back to the apartment, Mingyu and Hansol both told the other two to get changed and comfortable in pajamas. When they arrive back in the kitchen, they can hear both of the Alphas talking very seriously about cooking. 

“Gyu might be an idiot most of the time, but he really kills it in the kitchen.”

This is the first time Seungkwan’s really talked to Wonwoo, mostly feeling intimidated by the older’s quiet nature. 

And Seungkwan is a little confused because he thought that Mingyu was an Alpha and Wonwoo an Omega, based on their size and appearance. But then after seeing them at karaoke, he swapped that, based on the way Wonwoo seemed more serious and Mingyu more soft and sensitive. 

Now, standing closer to Wonwoo, he can smell the scent of an Omega. And it confuses him, because the more he sees of them, the less he understands. They don’t seem to fit in his understanding of what an Alpha-Omega relationship should be. Neither are aggressive or submissive. But they still seem to balance each other well. I 

“Are you and Mingyu hyung dating?”

“Yep, we have been since I was a third year and he was a second year in university. He and my younger brother became friends and then eventually he wore me down and took me on a date.”

“Was it perfect?”

“Not at all. Mingyu was a nervous mess. He took me to the cafe he worked at in university and got teased by all his coworkers. Then he tried to be all manly Alpha and tried to bring my latte himself and ended up dropping it on my lap. Then he tried to clean me up, realized how awkward that was, then tripped over a trash can and knocked over a display of cupcakes.”

“And you still went out with him again?”

“Well… it didn’t end there.”

Wonwoo continues on how Mingyu got yelled at by his manager and he had to wait twenty minutes while wearing Mingyu’s shirt as Mingyu whipped up fresh frosting and frosted and decorated three dozen new cupcakes. Then Mingyu walked Wonwoo home and tried to escape back to his dorm, but Wonwoo stopped him and invited him inside. Mingyu ended up making them tteokbokki and they watched a movie together. 

“And you weren’t concerned about him… not being… Alpha enough?”

Wonwoo pauses. He studies Seungkwan’s face before continuing. 

“Well, personally, the only thing that makes someone an Alpha is the fact they have a knot. I knew Mingyu was a clumsy mess before I went on the date with him. And that’s what makes him him. But I got to see him concentrate so hard on the cupcakes. He did them perfectly. And when he made himself at home in my kitchen and made tteokbokki, he was so focused. And he’s so beautiful to me when he manages to focus. Don’t get me wrong, he’s lovely all the time. But the look on his face when he wants to do something for someone else. It was enough to keep me interested.”

“Did he ask you to be his boyfriend?”

“You think the boy who spilled coffee on me asked me out? I had to ask him to me my boyfriend after two months of him trying to build up the courage. He was always nervous about it. Because he was afraid he wasn’t Alpha enough. Which is silly. He’s just enough as Mingyu, Alpha or not.”

Seungkwan hums as Hansol calls him to the kitchen. Seungkwan looks to see Wonwoo making himself comfortable in an armchair with a book. 

In the kitchen, Mingyu is hand whisking some kind of cream while Hansol is looking confused at the hand mixer. Hansol is wearing his ‘Kiss The Cook’ apron again. 

Hansol lights up when he sees Seungkwan enter the room. He runs over to grab both of Seungkwan’s hands and drag him to sit at the counter and watch them try to make dessert. Then he places a small scoop of ice cream in front of Seungkwan. The mint chocolate chip from before. Hansol smiles as Seungkwan timidly scoops a bit into his mouth. 

“So welcome to the Min-Sol Baking Show. Today, I am making sugar cookies and icing for decorating when the masses return.” Mingyu turns the whisk to Hansol to use as a mic. 

“Ah, thank you hyung, sounds delicious. In my bowl, you can see flour, sugar, brown sugar, and butter. This is beginning of our journey to cookie dough. The catch? This will be safe-to-eat cookie dough, with no raw eggs, because I’m dedicating this meal to someone very special.”

Seungkwan blushes as he continues to eat his ice cream. He peeks up to see Hansol with his sleeves rolled up and a headband on to keep his hair out of his eyes. He’s stunning. His jaw set as he looks around of the next ingredient. He must have said something to Mingyu because Seungkwan can see his jaw moving but can’t hear a word that’s coming out of his mouth. 

Seungkwan feels something in his belly. And he’s pretty certain that it’s not the baby. Hansol had told him the other day that around 4 months is when he might start feeling the baby move. Maybe this was just nausea. 

He darts to the living room as quickly as he can with his crutches but before Hansol can run after him, Mingyu stops him. 

“Sol, I feel like I know you pretty well. And I want to know what’s going on between you and Seungkwan.”

Hansol drops his bowl on the counter. “What? Between us? Nothing. Why?”

“Well, besides the fact that Seungkwan was looking at you like he needs you to breathe, you haven’t been able to stop glancing at him. And you’re acting all weird and stuff.”

“Hyung, you need to keep a secret.”

“Okay, you’ve definitely got the wrong person, you know I can’t keep a secret. Like how Hao is planning to ask J-”

“I like Seungkwan.”

“Okay, that’s nothing. Of course you do. I like Seungkwan too. Who wouldn’t? He’s so cute and squishy.”

“Hyung, listen. I think I LIKE like him.”

“Oh, dude. Shit. You LIKE like him? You have to know that I’m gonna have to tell Wonwoo hyung. But, then, when Hao… and then Jungkook will know, but he’ll tell Jimin… who’ll tell Tae…. Man, you told the wrong person.”

“Hyung, please don’t let people know. I feel like a pervert because he just got out of an abusive relationship and not of his own accord either. And he’s… well, he’s just too trusting and I can’t break his trust. That would destroy me to lose him as a friend.”

“Sollie, I’ve known you long enough that I know you’d never break his trust on purpose. You might be an idiot sometimes. But I don’t think you would ever break anyone’s trust. You should believe in yourself.”

Meanwhile, in the living room, Moonbin and Dongmin has come home to see Seungkwan curled up close to Wonwoo. Moonbin instinctually heads to join the two Omegas cuddling while Dongmin pulls out his laptop to set up a fireplace video for the three of them. He then joins the other Alphas in the kitchen as officially the most responsible person in the apartment. 

Moonbin walks over and hears Wonwoo asking Seungkwan if he’s okay now.

“Kwannie, did something happen?” Moonbin chimes in, settling behind Seungkwan and placing the laptop against the nearby wall. 

Seungkwan chuckles at the fireplace video crackling away. “I think I’m fine, I just felt kinda funny and I thought it was nausea.”

“Why? Have you been throwing up lately? Are you sick?”

Wonwoo interrupts before Seungkwan can respond. “Did something happen to make you feel funny? Maybe you just don’t recognize the feeling?”

“Well, it was suddenly like my stomach was flipping. But in a weird warm way. It’s gone now, though. But if you don’t want to stay here with me, you can go back to reading your book.”

Moonbin wraps himself around Seungkwan, missing the way Seungkwan draws a nervous breath, snuggling closer. Wonwoo also settles closer, ignoring the cloying scent that lingers around Seungkwan in a way he can’t recognize. Maybe that’s how Seungkwan feels about the feeling in his belly. 

Moonbin raises his head after a few minutes and sniffs suspiciously. “Hey hyung, do you smell that?”

Wonwoo looks towards the kitchen where he can smell the cookies baking in the oven. “You mean the sugar cookies?”

“No, something sweeter.”

Seungkwan doesn’t notice what they’re talking about, too relaxed from the close comfort of the two Omegas. He hasn’t been able to be this close to anyone before and didn’t realize how much he was missing out. 

Before either can think more on the sweet scent, the door of the apartment slams open, Jeonghan leading the way as the rest of the karaoke group parades in, somehow louder than before. Joshua brings up the end of the line and closes the door. 

“SLEEPOVER!” Seokmin, Soonyoung, Jungkook, Seungcheol, and Sanha all yell. Sanha and Jeonghan spot the pile of Omegas and immediately join in, like hyung, like dongsaeng. 

Seokmin drags a big sack out of his boyfriend’s room as Soonyoung simultaneously pulls a few big boxes out of the closet. 

They both yell about early Christmas Eve presents and start throwing fluffy parcels to various recipients around the room. 

Joshua and Seokmin had bought everyone a pair of pajamas and Jihoon and Soonyoung bought everyone either a fluffy blanket or beanie and gloves or scarf. And now all the presents we’re being flung around. 

Every catches on quickly and soon everyone is wearing their pajamas and bundled up in the living room and getting ready to go to bed. Hansol runs around the corner from the kitchen and announces that the cookies are ready to be decorated and there’s cookie dough that’s safe to eat. “Any questions? Yes, Chan?”

“What makes this cookie dough safe to eat?”

“No eggs.”

“The eggs never stopped me!” And Chan runs into the dining room to eat some dough. Seokmin and Mingyu follow after. 

Chan surries back into the living room, spoon of cookie dough in hand and one in his mouth already. “Here, Seungkwan hyung, this is from Hansollie hyung.”

Seungkwan graciously grabs the spoon from where he is still be cuddled between Wonwoo, Moonbin, Sanha, and Jeonghan. And by now, Jihoon and Joshua had also joined in on the pile, unable to resist the cozy looking group. Soonyoung and Seokmin are now the only ones left yelling about Christmas Eve presents, while Minhyuk, Chan, and Jungkook are flexing on each other in the corner, showing off different dance moves, before Jimin enters the apartment, carrying more things.

“Hey Minhyukkie! Hi Chan. Baby, don’t hurt yourself. Remember what happened last holidays? We don’t want another holiday spent in the ER, do we? Oh, is this a cuddle pile. Move over a little.” 

With that, Jimin enters and joins the pile of other Omegas in the living room. He’s the oldest Omega here and he chooses to use his status to scoot further into the pile. 

“Ah, I’ve missed this. It’s been too long since we’ve had an Omegas’ Night. Hannie, we should do one more before the new year.”

“Minnie, a great idea! And Seungkwan has to come, of course.”

“I mean, it sounds interesting. If you don’t mind me joining…”

“You should. It might help you figure some things out. About how to be yourself a little more. It’s really a great safe time for you, no one will judge you.” Wonwoo urges. Seungkwan looks around to see everyone’s eyes on him.

“Alright. I’ll come. Just let me know when. I’m pretty free.”

~~~~~~~~~

They all managed to settle down for their sleepover rather quickly, knowing that the sooner they get to sleep, the more sleep they’d get before Soonyoung or Seokmin likely wake everyone up early to start Christmas. 

They were wrong. 

It was Chan and Sanha who woke everyone up. 

All the couples had managed to sleep somewhat together despite the chaos of the living room. Wonwoo has welcomed Mingyu because he knew he couldn’t really sleep well without him. Meanwhile, his younger brother was lucky that Jimin was already out like a light and it was easy to latch onto the older. 

Jeonghan made Minhyuk drag Sanha to the other side of the room once Seungcheol settled down next to him, yelling dramatically about not wanting to see his little baby brother spoon another man. Ironically while practically being on top of his boyfriend. 

Moonbin has settled to using Dongmin as a pillow because his boyfriend’s tends to sleep flat on his back and stay still all night. Which means he totally woke up with drool stains on his new pajamas. Courtesy of his boyfriend who sleeps with his mouth open. 

Seokmin knew Joshua didn’t like too much PDA and Soonyoung knew Jihoon wasn’t into showing that he cares too much, so they ended up fighting over which one of them got to be the big spoon. (“But I’m literally Spoonyoung!”) And that’s how we end up with Soonyoung being the big spoon and Seokmin holding his hand out to hold hands with Joshua. Meanwhile Jihoon was plenty comfortable using Chan as a pillow. 

Hansol has tried to get Seungkwan to sleep in his own bed for comfort and his leg, but Seungkwan had really enjoyed being with the group, more than he had ever enjoyed large groups. Hansol couldn’t help but melt at how Seungkwan poured about being sent to his room, so he caved and asked what Seungkwan wanted to do instead. 

“Sleep on the floor.”

“...”

“With a sleeping bag.”

“Hasn’t your back been bothering you?”

“Wish, why do you remember that? Alright, sofa?”

“That’s better.”

“Can you… uh, also, um, join me?”

“On the couch? I think if we moved the cushions, there should be room.”

And that’s how they woke up. Well, actually, Seungkwan had managed to curl up into Hansol while  
he was sleeping so his face was nuzzled into his neck and their legs intertwined. Hansol had woken up before anyone else and been shocked to wake up with Seungkwan’s hair in his face. But he could smell Seungkwan’s scent so purely and calmly that he couldn’t help but hold him closer and make sure he was completely tucked in by the blanket atop them. 

He couldn’t help himself from gently brushing his knuckles against Seungkwan’s cheek. Definitely fuller than before. Definitely less sallow. He brings his hand back down to wrap back around Seungkwan’s waist. He pauses at his stomach. His pajama shirt is rising up his belly a little, revealing a sliver of skin. He can see the bump. He pulls down the shirt to preserve Seungkwan’s privacy, seeing as only a few people at the sleepover know about his pregnancy. 

Seungkwan stirs a little and Hansol freezes and waits for Seungkwan to pull himself closer to him by the collar of his pajama shirt. Seungkwan settles again with his lips practically on his neck and a hand on his chest. 

Hansol starts to flush from the intimacy of this but decides to just appreciate Seungkwan’s trust in this moment. 

~~~~~~

Hansol doesn’t remember falling asleep again, but he remembers waking up to Chan and Sanha banging some pots and pans together about how it’s Christmas time wasted if they keep sleeping. 

And that’s how Hansol opens his eyes. To seeing Seungcheol and Moonbin taking photos of him and Seungkwan. 

He tries to shoo them away before they can wake Seungkwan up, but he stirs awake anyway. 

Seungkwan doesn’t look too confused when he sits up. They often would end up in the same bed and wake up next to each other. But this was certainly the closest they had been. He didn’t really have time to even think about it as the moment he yawned and rubbed his eyes, Chan had already placed a present in his lap. 

“Oh? What? Do you want me to give this to someone?” Seungkwan looks for a tag on the box. 

“No, Kwannie hyung, that’s for you.”

“What? For me?” Seungkwan finds the tag and stares in disbelief. 

“Yeah, it’s Christmas. We all get gifts!” Sanha yells while throwing more gifts around. 

Seungkwan looks over at Hansol who’s sitting on the other side of the sofa. He looks so happy and confused. 

“I haven’t had a Christmas gift for a long time. I thought I was too old to get Christmas presents.”

Hansol feels his heart break a little. He knows this is probably Taewon’s doing. 

“Did you not do Christmas before? I know not a lot of people do it like this here, but I showed too many Christmas films for us to not do something fun.”

“I didn’t get to do Christmas. Taewon usually spent it with his family, though. I was fine though.”

Seungkwan starts to open the present as Hansol minds reels, realizing Seungkwan was hinting at being left alone for Christmas for years. He just can’t be grateful enough that all his friends welcomed Seungkwan so quickly that he gets to enjoy things like this. He deserves all the Christmases. 

“Ah, Kwannie, that one’s from me!” Soonyoung yells when he opens up a bunch of scarves and even more beanies. 

“Soonie hyung, you’ve already gotten me a blanket though. I can’t accept this.”

“I’ve seen you be cold recently and it’s not getting any warmer for a while. You need these and I won’t take them back.” Soonyoung has his hands on his hips and a Christmas sweater halfway on his body. 

And so the chaos of opening present ensues. They don’t take turns because one year when Jihoon had asked Soonyoung to be his boyfriend and they both ended up sobbing along with Seokmin, Seungcheol, Mingyu, and Jimin. They had an official rule of not asking anyone out during Christmas. 

So now it’s up to the giver to hand their own presents out and because they all do this at the same time, Chan and Sanha found that throwing presents worked best. 

Seungkwan is slowly opening up his final presents. He’s surrounded by his new shirts and sweaters and leggings and sweats and pants and jackets and shoes and even a pair or two of maternity jeans that he tries to hide away quickly. 

He opens up a gift with Hansol’s familiar scrawl spelling his name on the tag. It’s a giant sized candle. 

“That’s the scent you liked, right? I remember you really liked it when we went shopping a few weeks ago. But it’s not super useful so I have a gift receipt if you want to get something else. You should get to choose something you real-”

Hansol is stopped by Seungkwan flinging himself across the sofa to hug him. “This is perfect and I love it. It’s exactly right. But I’m sorry I don’t have a gift for you.”

“You just being here is enough.”

Seungkwan’s smile barely fits on his face now. Then it drops as he looks down at his hands in his lap seriously. A tear seems to drop from his face. 

Before Hansol can even register it, Jihoon is already there with a hand on his shoulder. Seungkwan is wiping away his tears as Jihoon kneels down to be face to face with him. 

“If you’re worried about not getting us anything then you need to stop. None of us want anything from you. You have some tough circumstances. Your trust is all we could ask for. We understand.” He hugs Seungkwan tightly. “But next year, we definitely won’t let you off this easy.”

Seungkwan laughs at that but also holds on tightly to the implication that Seungkwan will be included in the next Christmas, as well. 

“I might not have something to give, but I think I have something to share.”

“Well, were ready whenever you’re ready.” And Jihoon returns to Soonyoung’s side where he’s still enthusiastically putting on all his new clothes. 

“Um, uh, everyone, I have something I wanted to share.”

He’s not super loud and his voice shakes so much that Hansol instinctively grabs for his hand to provide as much support as possible. He strokes his thumb over the back of his hand. 

“Everyone, shut up! Seungkwan wants to say something!”

“Thank you Jihoon hyung. Well, I wanted to first apologize for not having presents for anyon-”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I have too much stuff anyway.”

“Your presence is a present already.”

“Capitalism is busted anyway.”

“...so I wanted to share something with you instead. So, I’m actually having a baby…”

Everyone is still, waiting to hear more before they react. 

“...and I’m really excited about it.”

Immediately everyone rushes to group hug him and he’s bombarded with questions. 

“How far along?”

“When are you due?”

“Is this why we didn’t drink last night?”

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

“Can we see your belly?”

“Is that why you were throwing up?”

“So that’s why we made ‘safe’ cookie dough.”

“I’m at about 13 weeks so the end of the first trimester. And I want to say early July, and I won’t know about the sex until later. And sure, if you give me a second to stand, you can see my belly.”

They back up a bit to give Seungkwan room to stand up. Hansol helps him stand up and holds his hand to keep him steady. 

He pulls up the pajama top and the undershirt we was wearing underneath to reveal a little bump. It’s barely visible but right underneath his belly button there is a small swell that disappears beneath his bottoms. He pulls the waistband down a little to show off his bump in its full tiny glory. The rest of them ignore the way his ribs still poke out of his torso a little too prominently and focus on the little bump that Seungkwan is now holding in his free hand. 

“Can I touch your belly?”

“Of course Chan, thanks for asking.”

And one by one everyone waits and asks to touch his belly and give him a hug. People slowly thin out until everyone is focused on getting brunch together or cleaning up if they were banned from the kitchen by Joshua. 

Seungkwan lets out a deep sigh and Hansol sees Mingyu glance over at them. Hansol asks Seungkwan if they could talk for a moment. Seungkwan nods and Hansol guides him over to his room. 

“Are you okay?” He asks as Seungkwan sits on the bed. 

“I think so. I’m glad to share with everyone because I don’t want to hide from everyone. I know friends are supposed to share things that matter to them. And I really want to be friends with everyone.”

“Okay, I’m glad. I was worried if it was too much.”

“No, I’m fine right now. For real. Plus, how could I not be when…” Seungkwan trails off but squeezes his hand that’s still in Hansol’s, making his point clear. 

“Ah, well, I also wanted to ask if I could also touch your belly?” Hansol is sweating mentally, knowing he’d probably be able to but nervous about actually feeling the bump himself. 

“Sure.” Seungkwan stands back up, a little unsteady as he tries not to lean too much in his bad leg. Hansol adjusts his arms to that Seungkwan’s arms are on either side of his neck and he takes the absence of movement from him as a cue that he should make a move. 

He slowly grabs the hem of Seungkwan’s pajama shirt and draws it up slowly. He stops to stare at the way the little bump strains against the undershirt. The shirt is pretty well fitted to the Omega’s frame so that even the small bump makes itself known. 

A huff from Seungkwan and he impatiently pulls up his undershirt and grabs Hansol’s hand to place on his stomach. 

Hansol didn’t expect Seungkwan to be so confident, or maybe he was just impatient. But his whole hand could splay our and cover the whole bump. And it’s warm and firmer than he expected it to be. Not that he’s imagined it before. 

He’s mesmerized by the little bump and brings his other hand up to join. He slowly moves his hands out to rest on the sides of Seungkwan’s body, this thumbs gently caressing the soft skin. 

He stops and looks up when he hears Seungkwan’s intake of breath. He didn’t realize how close they were. 

As Hansol tried to turn around to leave his room, Seungkwan stops him with a hand on his wrist. He embraces him in a back hug, and Hansol can feel the little bump against his back. He places his hands on Seungkwan’s arms around his waist. He blushes when he thinks about how close they are once again. 

Before he can let his mind wander any more, he turns around. “Want me to just carry you back to the dining room for brunch?”

Seungkwan glances at his crutches and nods, holding out his arms to be picked up. Hansol picks him up and brings him to back into the main celebration area. 

What he didn’t expect to see was Jeonghan on his knee, waiting for Seungcheol to turn around from where he was trying to pick between pancakes or waffles. 

He gets shushed by Joshua and sits quickly in a free chair, Seungkwan now in his lap. 

“Babe, I don’t think it matters which you choose, because I’ll get the other one and we can share.”

“Oh you’re so smart, I’ll get a waffle then, wait why is it so quiet. Hannie, why are you on the grou- Hannie, what are you doing?”

Seungcheol turns around with a plate full of waffles and a mouth full of whipped cream. He is shocked still when he sees Jeonghan pull out a little box. 

Everyone seems to know what was happening and Sanha has his phone out, recording it or streaming it. Who knows with the kids these days?

Jeonghan smiles up at his boyfriend and starts, “Choi Seungcheol, Cheollie, I know there’s a ban on asking people out on Christmas. But that’s fine because I’m asking you to marr-”

“Yes!”

“Babe, shut up so I can talk about you. I know we’ve talked about this before and that it didn’t matter which one of us popped the question. But I wasn’t going to let you ask. Besides the fact that you were the one who asked me out, to be boyfriends, to move in together, I also wanted it to go smoother than any of those times were. Don’t make that face, you literally but your tongue when you tried to ask me out. Where was I? Oh yeah. Well, I fell in love with you when you literally fell down that hill because I was sad and you wanted to make me laugh. You could say I fell when you did. But it’s more than that. Not only do you always make sure I’m happy, you go out of your way to make sure I am happy with myself. You defended me when I chose to wear my hair long. You complimented me when I cut it. You supported me when I decided to pursue my dreams. You loved me when I didn’t love myself. You’re my best friend, besides Joshua, but I don’t want to wake up next to Shua everyday, sorry babe, you’ll always be my side hoe. But Cheollie, you’re my best friend and I love grossing out all our friends when we act too cute to even live. And making each other happy cry is always a fun challenge. And guess what. I’m winning. So, if you want to tie the score again and make me the happiest I could ever be, marry me.”

Jeonghan opens the box and reveals a lovely ring, simple and bright. “Choi Seungcheol, let’s go on to be the most disgustingly cute pair of husbands ever seen. Will you marry me?”

Seungcheol doesn’t even get the words out as he’s busy crying and wiping his nose. He clings himself down to wrap his arms around Jeonghan and immediately plants a wet kiss on his lips. They start to make out a little before Jihoon clears his throat. 

“So you didn’t give me an answer. Perhaps our communications needs a little work, b-”

“Shut up, so I can tell you yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone was curious, the pajamas are the ones they wear in the Home dance practice


	7. CHAPTER SEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for our fave Omegas to get together

The aftermath of the proposal was crying from the newly engaged couple, yelling from everyone else, Joshua being chosen as Jeonghan’s best man and Hansol as Seungcheol’s. Seungkwan cried. Sanha cried. Chan cried. Even Jihoon cried but he would never admit it. 

This would be the first engaged couple in their little squad. And everyone was excited to be involved in the wedding. 

Brunch was relaxed and Seungkwan didn’t want to get out of Hansol’s lap so they just shared a plate of pancakes. 

Joshua and Moonbin mention to Seungkwan that the next Omegas’ Night would be Saturday on the 29th. Seungkwan says he’ll be there, and Hansol smiles that Seungkwan is making new friends and reconnecting with old friends.

~~~~~~

The afternoon of Omegas’ Night has Hansol helping Seungkwan pack his stuff for the sleepover. It’ll be the longest and farthest that Seungkwan will be from Hansol since the older came to stay in the apartment. Hansol was nervous but kept it to himself, seeing as Seungkwan was in a good mood after having an overall positive doctor’s appointment earlier today. 

He got his cerclage checked out and it looked good. Any bruises he had had from Taewon were faded now. He had gained a few kilos since he was first brought into the hospital and he was close to tracking on his appropriate amount of weight gain. His baby seemed to be growing at a healthy rate. 

And Hansol knew that he would be in the best hands with all the other older Omegas around and it wasn’t like they were going to be out and partying anywhere they would be made vulnerable to predatory Alphas. Hansol usually believed fully in his friends who were Omegas’ ability to defend themselves.

But he usually didn’t have an Omega friend that was pregnant. That he also had feelings for.

He ends up taking Seungkwan over to Moonbin’s apartment. Minhyuk was kicked out so graciously by his own boyfriend the moment he got there. Sanha didn’t even spare him a kiss on the cheek. 

Hansol guides him up to the third floor, a little bit more difficult to maneuver to with his crutches. He tries to linger but realizes that he’ll need to leave to allow the night to start. So he leaves promptly, after seeing the gleam in Sanha’s eye.

~~~~~~

Seungcheol picks up the phone and finds the doctor’s office calling. 

“Hello, is this Boo Seungkwan or a guardian of Boo Seungkwan?”

“Yes, this is Choi Seungcheol. Is there something I can do for you?”

“We have an update on some results of a blood test. During his appointment, we drew some blood to do some follow up drug tests after finding some concerning results and receiving some atypical answers to questions from Mr. Boo. After running more specific tests, we have found trace amounts of a drug that specifically targets Omegan endocrine systems. This specific steroid seems to enable the release of heat hormones at any time. Usually these heats happen within 4 hours of oral ingestion, but in larger and more frequent doses, trace amounts can last for months in the bloodstream and potentially set off heats or pseudo-heats.”

“Oh god, do you think that this is connected to Taewon.”

“I’m not qualified to make that call, but this drug is commonly sold on the black market and often used by abusive Alphas to keep Omegas submissive under threat of forcing them into heats. It can be very unhealthy because the natural flux of hormones doesn’t occur to keep the body prepared for the strain of a heat and sometimes it can be dangerous. Like running a marathon with no preparation. 

“And in Mr. Boo’s case, the pregnancy is more concerning because any extended deficiencies in nutrients would be extremely detrimental to the fetus.”

“Is there anything you can do to fix it?”

“At the time, we can only monitor and manage any heat that occurs. One possibility is that because it is a fat-soluble substance, and because Mr. Boo has chronic low body fat percentages, the heat will be less intense because usually as fat is burned during the heat, more of the hormone releases and in turn fuels the heat. However, this means there isn’t much fuel for his body and will need to be provided food throughout to keep him from hurting himself.”

“Oh god. And for the heat, is it like a typical heat?”

“Unfortunately, due to the sudden nature, the heat tends to be much more uncomfortable than a natural heat. But if anything happens, please call. And if something happens that seems too much to handle, feel free to come into the hospital.”

“Bye Doctor and thank you.” Seungcheol hangs up the phone and wearily drags his hand down his face. 

He hears the door unlock and close and feels Jeonghan’s hands start to massage his shoulders. 

“Cheollie, are you okay?”

Seungcheol reaches a hand to his shoulder to rest atop Jeonghan’s. “I got some kinda bad news about Seungkwan.”

“Oh no, should we have him come home? Here, I can call Hansol to have him bring him back. We really should get him a cellphone.”

“Babe, I don’t think you need to call him back here. It’s more of a wait and see type of concern.”

“Is it about the baby?”

“It’s actually about his heats.”

“Oh…” Jeonghan looks a little confused, until it hits him. “Is this what he mentioned at the doctor’s awhile back?”

“About his heats while pregnant?” Jeonghan nods. “Yeah, apparently Taewon was drugging him with heat-inducing hormones. And it could be really bad because the trace amounts could trigger one and because he wouldn’t go through preheat, well…”

Jeonghan nods solemnly in understanding. “Well, I mean, I need to go to Moonbin’s and I’ll see Seungkwan.”

“Hannie, why are you home? I thought you had already been preparing at Moonbin’s earlier.”

Jeonghan moves to the fridge where he pulls out a cake. “I came back to sneak over Shua’s cake. We’re going to celebrate it at midnight. And I gotta go. I love you, Cheol.”

Jeonghan smooches a kiss into the air and heads back to the front door. Seungcheol grabs the kiss out of the air and brings it to his lips. He smiles as he watches his fiancé leave again.

“Love you, Hannie.”

~~~~~~

Seungkwan is sitting and sharing his peaches with Jisung and Felix while waiting for Joshua to finish their popcorn. 

Jeonghan returns with Jimin, Haknyeon, and Jungwoo in tow. 

When Joshua comes back to the living room to greet the newcomers, Jeonghan slips into the kitchen with the cake. 

“Alright! So I think it’s time for introductions. Who knows who, single, dating, talking? I want to know all!” Jeonghan plops down into the circle with the popcorn in bowls. 

Seungkwan waits for someone else to start, too nervous because there’s a few people he doesn’t recognize here now. 

A quiet voice pipes up from one of the newcomers. “I’m Kim Jungwoo. I’m 20, and I’m dating Lucas, I think he knows a few of you. Um, but Wonwoo hyung invited me and we met through Mingyu because I work at the cafe at school too.”

“I’m Yoon Sanha! Jeonghan hyung is like my actual hyung. This all was originally my idea and Jeonghan hyung stoke it from me. And I’m stuck with Minhyuk for like life so I guess that’s me.”

“Thanks for that, Sanha. But yeah, unfortunately I really care for my family so here you are. But I’m Jeonghan and I’m pretty sure I know most of you. I’m sorry it’s been awhile since our last little night but it’s been busy. Oh, and I’ve gotten engaged!” Jeonghan shrieks as he holds out his hand, now adorned with a matching ring to Seungcheol’s but with more small stones encrusted in the metal. 

The rest of the group that wasn’t at the Christmas sleepover screams and starts gushing. This would be the first wedding amongst most people they know and even though it was something that some like Jihoon would pretend to be nonchalant about, in the privacy of Moonbin’s home, they let out all their true feelings. 

“Okay, okay, before we get too distracted, I’m Joshua Hong, and my boyfriend Seokmin and I met in university through Jihoon, his brother.”

“I’ll go then. I’m Lee Jihoon. Seokmin and Chan are my younger brothers and they are both dumbasses. No offense.”

“None taken.”

“But I’m usually preoccupied by my own dumbass, Soonyoung. But… I love him.”

“Oooh, Hoonie hyung, you said the L word!”

“Shut up Haknyeon, maybe I do. He doesn’t have to know that yet.”

“Okay, I see this spiraling so I’ll go. I’m Moonbin and this is my home. Welcome. And my boyfriend is also an idiot.”

A brief pause before he adds, “Oh, his name is Dongmin.”

“I’m Han Jisung and I met Jihoon hyung first. I’m 18 and I’m single.”

“What he means to say is singly focused on Lee Minho from the dance course.”

“Felix, why would you say that. It’s not like you aren’t totally in love with Changbin from my composition class.” Jisung whines. 

“Okay, I’ll allow the children to fight, but neither of you two are going anywhere until we talk more about these boys you like. I’m Park Jimin and you’re probably aware I’m dating Jungkookie.”

“I’ll never understand what you see in my brother, hyung. But I’m Jeon Wonwoo. And a lot of you know my boyfriend Mingyu.”

“I’m Ju Haknyeon. I’m an exchange student from Hong Kong. And my Korean is a little bit rusty. And I do not have someone I like.”

“Okay so that sounds like a lie, but we’ll get to that. Seungkwan, do you want to go?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” Seungkwan takes in a deep breath, a little overwhelmed by the amount of new information he had just heard. “I’m Boo Seungkwan, and I’m, um, not currently mated, but it’s kinda complicated, and I’m actually pregnant but I’m happy about that.”

He’s once again received with lots of excitement about his pregnancy. The newer people ask if they can feel his baby bump, and maybe it’s the presence of so many Omegas, but Seungkwan feels safe enough to allow them to feel it. He lifts his sweater, the pink one that Hansol had given him. 

Jungwoo asks how far along he is. 

“Closer to 14 weeks. That’s why I have the peaches. According to Hansollie, the baby is the size of a peach now.”

“Really? That seems so small.”

“But at the same time, it seems too big to even fit in here.” Jisung adds, his hand very stiffly held against Seungkwan’s belly. 

“It’s really amazing that it even happens.” Seungkwan says with a smile. 

“Now let’s get onto gossip.” Jeonghan interrupts, allowing Seungkwan to not have to stop anything himself. “If I remember correctly, we have some boys to talk about.”

“Okay, yes, but first tell us about how you got engaged.” Felix says brightly. 

“Okay. First of all, I proposed to him.”

A bunch of ooh’s and aah’s erupt from the group, along with a cry of “We love Omegas being active partners in relationships!” likely from Jisung. 

“Second. He cried like a baby.”

Another rounds of cheers, accompanied by Joshua trying to emphasize how much Jeonghan also cried. 

“And third, Sanha recorded the whole thing and I’ll send it to the group chat so don’t worry at all, my munchkins.”

A roudy hoorah and a frustrated sigh about the upload speed later and Jihoon turns immediately to Felix. 

“Okay, so spill about Changbin.”

“Oh, it’s nothi-”

Jisung interrupts instantaneously. “They were paired up for a song and Felix fell for him upon hearing him throw down some freestyle. Ouch, what was that for?”

“Okay, stop pulling my hair, Sungie. I’ll admit that I might admire his ability to rap. But he’s amazing. At least I didn’t just see him and want to drop my pants.”

Jisung looks offended. “Okay, soooooo that’s not how it happened. I dropped my jaw when I saw him dance. Probably because I’m used to your dancing.”

“I’m gonna stop both of you before you get into a physical fight. And if you know Lee Minho in dance, do you know Hwang Hyunjin as well?” Jimin asks. 

“Yeah, he’s actually one of our roommates.” Felix responds. 

“I heard he had a crush on a kid from high school.”

“Oh Innie, I’m mean his name is Yang Jeongin and he’s too small of a bean to allow Hyunjin to corrupt him with his hoe ways.”

“Ha! Sounds right.”

“Okay, Lix, that’s all great, but I think I recall Jihoon mentioning the L word before.”

All eyes fall onto Jihoon, who sighs. He should’ve known if he mentioned it, it would be brought back up. 

“Okay, so let’s go over the rules of Omegas’ Night, because if I’m going to talk about my feelings then you all need to be reminded that we don’t bring these things up in mixed company, whether it’s as a joke or dig or anything. No one makes fun of anyone here. We’re here to support each other.”

Nods of understanding come from everyone as they remember the story of how these get togethers came to be. After Jeonghan stopped those angry Alphas from assaulting Jihoon, he decided that they needed a way to bond and provide more safety and security to each other. And through some manipulation and clever wording (and lots of help from Joshua who was involved in student government even in university), they had registered as an official student group and received financial resources to support their gatherings. 

It grew and grew until it had reached all these younger kids. Jeonghan has left university but stayed involved and in touch with other members who had also graduated and left, like Hyungwon or Wonpil. 

“Alright. So a lot of you know Kwon Soonyoung. He’s my boyfriend for almost a year now. And I haven’t told him yet, but I love him. It only was something I recognized recently. But I don't think I could go on without him. Not like I depend on him in a way where I couldn’t be totally fine on my own. But I think for the first time I don’t mind saying that I do depend on him emotionally. Like if he broke up with me, I would only think about how my life could’ve been better if he was still in it. I know I used to be insecure about Alphas but Soonyoung is so much more than that. And it makes me just kinda melt.”

“Aw Jihoonie, that’s so sweet, I almost cried.” Felix whispers. 

“I think Seungkwan has you beaten. He hasn’t stopped bawling since you mentioned Soonyoung hyung.” Moonbin says where he sits next to Seungkwan, who’s now leaning on him as he tries to dry his eyes. 

“It’s just I’m so glad that Soonyoung found someone like you. He’s one of my best friends and I don’t think I tell him enough.” Seungkwan says while sniffling. 

“Well, we can come back to the sentimental stuff later, maybe once the pizza arrives. But I think it’s time to ask a certain Haknyeon about a crush he doesn’t have.”

A moment late Haknyeon understands what was just said. He blushes and tries to divert attention. “No. No. I don’t have a crush. There is not someone that I like.”

“Don’t lie, I’ve seen that one Alpha that seems to follow your every move. That sounded creepy. It’s not creepy. It’s cute. He just can’t take his eyes off of you.” Moonbin rushes out. Haknyeon just looks like he wants to disappear. 

“Oh, Sunwoo?” Sanha pitches in. And by the shade of red that Haknyeon’s ears turn, then he must’ve hit the nail on the head. 

“Okay, so maybe I like Sunwoo, but only like a friend. He’s too cool for me and I don’t think I have anything to give him. And he’s younger and I’m not as smart as he is.”

“Hyung, I think you’re underestimating yourself. You shouldn’t compare yourself to someone else anyway. It’d be boring if you dated someone exactly like yourself anyway.” Jisung says warmly but firmly. 

Seungkwan looks over towards Jisung who has a determined look on his face as if he has a personal stake in bolstering Haknyeon’s confidence. 

And maybe he does. Seungkwan is sure that he’ll learn more eventually but he just feels comfortable bough listening to everyone banter until the attention is turned back to him. 

“Seungkwannie, if you want to share anything, you can. Don’t feel pressured to.”

“I think I want to share. Well, I already mentioned that I’m pregnant. And I’m not currently mated. Because my Alpha died a little bit ago. Oh no, don’t worry. I’m fine. Or as fine as I can be. Actually, somehow I’m actually pretty happy right now.”

Jeonghan shares a warm grin with Joshua and Moonbin, who are also both beaming at how much more willing Seungkwan has become to share about his life. 

“And I have come to understand recently that my relationship with… Taewon wasn’t exactly… healthy.”

A little pinging sound goes off on Wonwoo’s phone, and then also on Moonbin’s phone, and Jungwoo’s phone, from where they left all their cellphones in a pile to keep them from being distracted. 

“Seungkwan, I’ll be right back. Gotta take birth control.” Moonbin heads over to his kitchen to grab some glasses of water. 

Wonwoo, Sanha, and Jungwoo join him in the kitchen and Seungkwan asks, “Birth control?”

“Yeah,” Jungwoo replies from the kitchen. “We chose to always take our pills at 10 at night so that we can remind each other. Ever since the Incident.”

“Yeah, and that’s why I would recommend everyone be a responsible adult before engaging in sexual activities.” Jeonghan says wearily. 

“It was one time!”

“Sanha, one slip up is enough!”

Joshua scoots closer before explaining that Sanha and Minhyuk has been dating since high school and had a pregnancy scare very early on after forgetting his pill a few days. After that Jeonghan took him to the clinic to find that it was, in fact, just a scare and then decided that all their friends who were also taking daily birth control would sync up to keep each other from forgetting. 

“Wait, hyung, Jimin hyung, are you not joining us? We have a glass.” Sanha calls, precariously waving the glass around in his hand. 

“Well, don’t tell anyone else, and I am talking about you, Sanha, but I’m thinking about asking Jungkook if he wants to start… you know, trying…”

“For a baby?” Wonwoo asks in shock. “Really? I can’t imagine my brother with a baby.”

“Well maybe not immediately. Probably after he graduates in a few months. But I want to be ready and you know how my body is a whole mess with its hormone balance. I’m going to need those few months to regulate myself again. Hormonal birth control, you know.”

“No,” Seungkwan says softly, “I’m not really familiar with birth control. I didn’t realize that it was so… widely accepted. I thought that it was seen as taboo.” His head hangs as he awkwardly admits this.

Jisung glances over at him with concern. “Hyung, did you never take any birth control? Does it not work well with your body?”

Seungkwan looks embarrassed when he responds. “I was mated to Taewon since I presented basically. So I never needed birth control or suppressants.”

It looks like Jisung really wants to say something but he holds back, especially when he hears the doorbell ring. 

“The pizza!” Felix screeches as he bounds across the living room and over other bodies to reach the door. He and Jihoon bring the six boxes of pizza and two boxes of breadsticks to the living room and start to hand out napkins and plates. 

“Seungkwan hyung,” Jisung takes advantage of the distraction of pizza to talk. “I want you to know that this comes from a place of caring. It hasn’t always been this way, but today, as an Omega, you have the right to take birth control or suppressants while mated without question.”

“Wait, what do you mean? How would I get things without Taewon’s permission?”

Jisung’s face darkens as he leans closer to Seungkwan and says quietly, “I don’t want to get too serious if you don’t want to, but I can tell that Taewon was bad. Did he abuse you?”

The rest of the group has returned now and Moonbin settled back behind Seungkwan and drew him to lean against his chest. 

“He might’ve been wrong. Everyone keeps telling me that he shouldn’t have done any of it. But I can’t help but feel it’s still my fault that he acted the way he did.”

“Kwannie…” Moonbin breathes out, trying to give Seungkwan a reassuring squeeze. 

“I know no one thinks Taewon was a good Alpha, but no one seems to understand that I was a bad Omega!” Seungkwan yells before he catches himself, and he draws his knees up to his chest and rests his head on his knees. 

“If you want to talk about that, you know we’re here to listen.” Jungwoo says in a soft voice as he rests a hand on his knee. 

Seungkwan grabs Jungwoo’s hands and starts. 

“I’m not a good Omega. I’m honestly a failure. And you can’t say I’m not. Because… any good Omega can carry a baby.” Seungkwan holds his free arm tighter around his belly. 

“But hyung, this baby is doing great.”

“This baby is. But for how long? You think I haven’t been here before? This isn’t my first pregnancy. I’ve lost so many babies. I’ve failed so many times.” Seungkwan starts to cry and keeps going after feeling a gentle squeeze from Jungwoo. 

“I never used birth control. Or suppressants. I’m not really sure what the difference is. I wasn’t allowed to take health in high school. But I also remember having a period then after my heat with Taewon I didn’t have another one for awhile. And that was my first time I was pregnant. When I was 16. Second year of high school. The second time I managed to get an ultrasound. It was twins. I’ve had five miscarriages since I had 16. I never made it passed, like…” Seungkwan tries to hold his hands out in front of him, tears still streaming down his face. He holds his hands a little beyond his current little belly. “...about this far along. I didn’t ever manage to keep my babies any longer. Because I’m a broken Omegas.”

Jimin is now crying and leaning into Wonwoo, while Jisung pays rapt attention and allows Felix to hold onto his hand. Jihoon looks angry but holds back to allow Seungkwan to continue. 

“And Taewon would punish me. Hold me accountable for my failures. Because I felt like I had disappointed him. I felt ugly and unwanted and shameful. But Taewon would reassure me that I just needed to work harder. And he would help me. He would make me feel pretty and even though it would hurt sometimes, it made me feel less and. I was able to feel his hurt too. I was able to make him feel better. Even though I was never really enough.”

“Wait, make you pretty? What do you mean?” Moonbin asks quietly from behind Seungkwan. 

“He would… You’re not going to understand. I know. But he would…leave his mark on me. And it would remind me and others that I belonged to him. That I was his.”

“Hyung…” Jisung starts, his voice cracking. “Are you trying to say that he would leave bruises on you?”

“He would leave marks.”

“Did he hit you?”

“Only when I did something wrong.”

“Like when you lost a baby?”

“…”

“Okay, Seungkwan, you need to be honest. Did he ever ‘make you pretty’ while you were pregnant?”

Seungkwan looks towards Jisung with his now tear stained face. “He would try to avoid my stomach when I wasn’t too bad.”

“Okay, I know I said I would let you talk, but I can’t let you continue without bringing this up.” Jisung breaks his calm facade. “Seungkwan hyung, the way Taewon treated you sounds like domestic abuse. If he ever laid a hand on you, especially while pregnant, then he was an abusive partner. No one should treat anyone like that. I would know.”

“Nobody could understand how it feels. Like I feel like I should know but I can’t change the way I feel… the way I feel so…”

“So helpless? Hyung, I know. I know because I’ve been there. During high school, I had my first boyfriend. Many of my friends would tease me that I was too noisy for any Alpha to ever want me. And I never really believed it. I was happy. But then, he started to yell at me and stop me from hanging out with friends. And one day I care to school with a bruise on my neck that wasn’t just a hickey. And my friends figured it out. And at first, I refused to see it. I had been clumsy and loud. I deserved to be taught a lesson, didn’t I? But no matter how messy or how many mistakes I made, I didn’t deserve to be hit for any of it, though.”

“Of course not!” Seungkwan says quickly. 

“I was in that relationship for a year. And when I got out of it, I had already gone through that realization of how his treatment was abuse. And hyung, if you think what he did to me was abuse and that I don’t deserve to be treated that way, then can’t you see, that you don’t either.”

Seungkwan looks up at Jisung, his sadness clear on his face as he considers the younger’s words. 

“I never thought about how it must feel to all of you. I think it helps to think about it beyond my own feelings.”

“Yeah, just because someone is a loud and obnoxious Omega, doesn’t mean they ever deserve to be treated as less than human. Not being a traditionally accepted Omega changes nothing.”

A long pauses hangs over the group as they think about the troubles they’ve all faced being an Omega trying to just make it in the world. The Felix pipes up. 

“Hyung, if you don’t mind me asking, have you named them?”

Seungkwan perks up and everyone takes the cue to let up on the heavy conversation. 

“I haven’t actually. I mean, you all know, but I haven’t ever gotten to the point where I really got to think about names. But I think I want to wait until I know if it’s a boy or girl before getting attached to any names.”

“Makes sense. But did you ever… name the ones from before?” Felix asks timidly. 

“Oh… Well, I did have some names. The first one, I imagined to be a boy. I wanted to name him Taehan.” Seungkwan says as he swallows, tears sparkling in his eyes. “Taewon wanted his first born to be named by him, so I never brought it up. But I wouldn’t mind to have similar names to the father. The twins were going to depend on what sex they were. I never got to find out. But I liked the names Taehoon and Ahseung.” Seungkwan stops as his voice cracks. Sobs start to wrack through his body again. 

Moonbin rubs his shoulders and Jungwoo squeezes his hand tightly. Jimin speaks up in the silence. 

“I’m sorry for bringing up having a baby earlier. I hadn’t realized that you have had a hard time with pregnancy before.”

“It’s alright. I’m not upset. I don’t mind. I’ve always loved kids. And I’ve always wanted my own.”

“Maybe if Jungkook and I get to work soon, our kids can be friends.”

This makes Seungkwan smile, for the first time thinking about the future beyond simply carrying his baby to term. As much energy as he puts into hoping and wishing this baby not to end in miscarriage, he hadn’t been courageous enough to dream that the baby would grow into its own person.

Jeonghan uses this positive moment to get Wonwoo’s attention and sneak into the kitchen, while Jisung pushes a little further. 

“Seungkwan hyung, I don’t want to assume more about Taewon, but you might have said something about this earlier. ...Did he ever… hit you… while you were pregnant?”

“...he wouldn’t aim for my stomach when he knew. Not unless I had really messed up.”

“Hyung… I can’t tell you for sure why you might have lost the babies, but if there was physical abuse involved, you can’t hold all the blame to yourself. If you were ever beaten while pregnant and then unable to get access to medical care, then I would go as far to say that Taewon caused the miscarriage. You didn’t lose them because you weren’t strong enough. You’re strong enough.”

“I-I always just thought that if I was strong enough that I’d be able to hold onto them. Like if I were strong and good enough, then I wouldn’t be beaten or lose the babies. But, you’re saying t-that it’s not my fault that I l-lost them?”

“Hyung,” Haknyeon speaks up. “I think if you’re blaming yourself for losing them, that only works if you still think you don’t deserve to be treated right. If you can accept that you don’t deserve the abuse, then… soon, you’ll be able to understand that you aren’t to blame.”

“I… I can see the logic. But I think I still need time to really figure it out. But even if I can’t quite see it yet. I know the direction I need to moving in. And I hope I can depend on all of you.”

“Of course, hyung! You can depend on us. We love you and I want you to be happy.” Sanha exclaims while jumping over Joshua and Jimin to lean up against Seungkwan, nuzzling their cheeks together. Seungkwan can immediately feel the comfort on the close contact of other Omegas.

“I… I have friends from high school that I love, but I wasn’t able to spend time like this. And I don’t think I’ve ever felt so close to so many people. Oh, sorry, I don’t mean to start crying again. I’m going to blame the hormones on this one.” Seungkwan wipes his face with his hands, before Moonbin brings his shirt sleeve up to wipe at his eyes.

Seungkwan laughs and asks that they don’t focus on him anymore. He’s a bit tired now and he’d rather just listen to the rest of them banter and gossip. He has a lot to think about and would rather just eat some pizza and hang out and leave the emotional baggage to figure out with his therapist later.

Just as he’s ready to lie down and tuck himself in with one of the many blankets gifted by Soonyoung, Jeonghan and Wonwoo return with cake and 23 candles brightly lit.

Everyone catches on and starts to sing for Joshua. And when Joshua blows out the candles and everyone starts to give him birthday punches, Jeonghan and Sanha particularly enthusiastically, Jisung slides over to Seungkwan and whispers, “Don’t think we forgot about those peaches. I want to hear more about Seungcheol’s brother.” Jisung ends this with a waggle of his eyebrows before going to get some cake.

Seungkwan doesn’t really know what Jisung is trying to imply, but simply the thought of Hansol makes Seungkwan blush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is confused on who is related to who, just ask in the comments, 
> 
> and if you want to vote on the gender of Seungkwan's baby, go here: http:// www.strawpoll.me/ 17955834 but take out the spaces


	8. CHAPTER EIGHT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some pre NYE party things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why it's formatted itself like this, but hopefully it's not too difficult to read. Please let me know if it's too weird and I can go through and fix it.

Three people bob and weave between a sea of people in the large shopping center. 

 

A loud voice calls out to the others.    
  
“Minnie, Kwannie, let’s stop for lunch!”

 

So the little group stops at the food court and lines up to grab bibimbap before sitting down. 

 

They talk about random things for awhile, Seokmin bringing up how good Seungkwan was at karaoke and wanting to plan another round, maybe just the three of them. Soonyoung wants them to come to his upcoming dance showcase. Seungkwan appreciates how easy it was to come back into their trio’s dynamics after all the years apart.

 

Because they were truly his best friends. Besides Moonbin when he was younger, he had never had friends as close as the Alpha and Beta. And he missed out on so much and they never made him feel like he should be troubled about that. They just fill him in on any pop culture he missed and how old acquaintances from high school are doing now. They even tried to fill Seungkwan in on new and current music as well by making different mixtapes and playlists that he would usually listen to on Hansol’s laptop.

 

One thing Seungkwan had asked of his friend was their honesty. He didn’t want them to bombard him with all the things they thought about Taewon, but he wanted them to help call out his own behavior, when he would say bad things about himself or things that Taewon drilled into his mind. And they also helped him make sure he got enough to eat, especially while socializing, because Seungkwan easily got distracted and would simply forget to eat in social situations.

 

“And that is how I got Minyoung to ask the principal if it was a wig or not!” Soonyoung finishes up his story with a raucous yell. Seokmin and Seungkwan are wheezing, trying not to choke on food as they laugh. Seungkwan tries to ignore an itch in his chest as he suggests they get going now that they’re done with their food   
  
“Hyung, why won’t you let me just grab my own bags. You were already generous enough to buy me some things, I can’t have you carry them too.” Seungkwan whines, reaching out to grab his own shopping bags, when another hand stops him.

 

“Kwannie, first of all, you are pregnant, and don’t pretend like we don’t know it’s higher risk. You won’t strain yourself by carrying all this stuff. I’m used to it, anyway. You’d be surprised how much Jihoon likes to shop.” Soonyoung fixes him with a stern glare before softening, “Plus, you’re going to need your hands free.”   
  
“What do you mean?”   
  
Seokmin rustles around in one of his shopping bags before drawing out a small sleek box. He holds it out towards the youngest.

 

“What’s this?” Seungkwan asks as he receives the box with both hands, already grateful to be receiving a surprise. Then he looks closer and is shocked.

 

“A cellphone!”

 

“Yeah! Hyung and I thought that it would be a gift from us.”   
  
“And Joshua hyung and Jihoon, too.” Soonyoung adds.

 

“Yeah, we originally wanted to give it for your birthday, but there’s no reason to not give it to you now. You can get more used to it. You haven’t had a phone for awhile, right?”

 

“Uh huh,” Seungkwan says, a tear dripping down his face as he stares at the package in shock. “I haven’t had one since my phone got broken in second year.”

 

“I’m pretty sure I remember you saying back in the day that Taewon had broken your phone.”   
  
“Soonie hyung, stooooooop.” Seungkwan pleas.

 

“I swear you said he had promised to get you a new one. But never did.” Seokmin supplies anyway.

  
“Alright, alright, enough of that. I think I get it. It wasn’t okay for Taewon, or anyone, to throw and break my phone and then never fix it.”   
  
“He broke your phone?” Seokmin asks in disbelief.

 

Seungkwan scratches his head. “Yeah, he saw that I was messaging Soonyoung hyung without asking- which I realize is also not something I should have to do. But I was messaging with hyung, and you’re an Alpha, so he took the phone from me and smashed it. Oh god, that sounds so awful now that I say it out loud.” Seungkwan holds his hands to his head, hitting himself with the box, forgetting momentarily what he was holding.

 

“I’m glad you are saying it out loud, though, because otherwise I wouldn’t know what kind of anger to direct towards him.” Soonyoung feigns prayer hands and murmurs angrily.

 

“Yah, hyung, stop it, and now show me how to use this. It doesn’t flip, does it?”

 

“Nope, that’s so 2008, Kwannie. This is an iPhone X. We have them too. We got you one with a decent amount of storage,” Seokmin rambles, turning the box over in Seungkwan’s hands to point at the specs. “I figured that you would want to take a lot of pictures and videos and download a lot of games.”

 

“Ohh, games? I’ve seen a lot of ads for them, but my last phone didn’t support games.” Seungkwan opens the box and stares in awe at the sleek golden rectangle.

 

“Well, let’s get this set up. Here, now you put in some of your own information.” He places the box back in his bag.

 

“Okay, now what?”

 

“We can add contacts so we can message and call now!” Soonyoung chimes in, reaching out for the phone.

 

“Yeah, we can add our numbers, Seungcheol and Jeonghan’s numbers.”

 

“Jihoon and Shua hyung’s too.”

 

“Um, can I also get Hansol’s number?”

 

Soonyoung and Seokmin share a suspicious look. 

 

“Of course you can.” Seokmin says with a high tone.

 

“Not like you really need it, you two spend all your time together anyway.” Soonyoung mentions.

 

“Well, I mean, winter break only lasts so long, and eventually he’ll have to go back to school, and so will you two, and then I’ll really need the phone.”   
  
Both of his friends immediately latch onto him, sandwiching him between them. “Aww, Kwannie, we don’t want you to me lonely.”   
  
“Yeah, we were just messing with you. We love that you’re so close with Sollie.”

 

“But Shua hyung was telling me that when he dropped you off at the Omegas’ Night, he left you with a bunch of peaches?”   
  
“Oh really? What’s that about?” Soonyoung asks as he picks up all of his and Seungkwan’s bags and they head out to do even more shopping. 

 

“Oh, the peaches? Well, Hansol had this idea that every week, we would look and see how the baby is developing. It’s kinda fun, because I never really knew that much about it before, and even now, I feel like I don’t know enough.”

 

Seungkwan smiles to himself thinking about how enthusiastically Hansol is when Seungkwan asked for them to look into things about week 13 the week before. Hansol had smiled so big when he said he was surprised that Seungkwan remembered, and then he tried to jump over the sofa, got his foot caught, and tumbled into Seungkwan’s lap. After a moment with Hansol looking up from Seungkwan’s lap, they both broke out into laughter.

 

“Earth to Seungkwan.” Seokmin says, waving his hand in front of Seungkwan’s face. “Pregnancy brain already? Or are you thinking about a certain someo-”   
  
“Oh yeah, the peaches! So the website he found has all the weeks compared to fruit and vegetables. For like the size of the baby. Like, last week was a lemon and this week is a peach.”   
  
Soonyoung coos. “He gets you the fruit every week of whatever the size of your baby is? That is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard of. I think Jihoon would cut off my hands if I ever tried to do that. I mean, considering he likes to threaten my life whenever I imply I would want him to have my babies.”

 

“Joshua hyung and I talked about babies once. Enough to know we’re on the same page about wanting to have a family. But it’s a bit harder because I’m not an Alpha. But we have plenty of time before we want to start trying, so I try not to think about that.”

 

Seungkwan had never really considered the fact that Seokmin and Joshua being a Beta-Omega couple would end up impacting their chances at having a family, even though it’s obvious. While Alphas can easily impregnate Omegas during heats and occasionally outside of them, Betas getting Omegas pregnant happens much less often. Not like it was impossible or even improbable, given the right timing. But it sometimes took fertility treatments or even specialized fertilization, which could be expensive.   
  


Seokmin continues. “I’m less insecure about being a Beta now, but when it comes to the purely biological part of the canoodling, I can’t help be feel bad sometimes. I know Shua hyung and I love each other. But sometimes I feel bad he can’t have the satisfaction and ease of an Alpha boyfriend.”   
  
Seungkwan looks down, fumbling with the phone in his hands. “Seokmin hyung, I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve been insensitive by complaining about my pregnancies, when I should be grateful that I can even carry a baby.”   
  
Seokmin quickly turns to Seungkwan. “Don’t feel bad that you are having a baby. I’m working through insecurities like these, but they aren’t nearly as strong as they were when Shua hyung and I first got together. My issues don’t lessen yours. That’s important.”   
  
“I understand. But when you do decide to try, I want to be there to support you and Shua hyung.”

 

Soonyoung was definitely paying attention to their conversation but couldn’t help but be distracted by the new store that had opened up.    
  
“Let’s go in here! I saw that this opened and I wanted to get something for Jihoon, maybe.” Soonyoung rushes into the store. The other two follow.

 

The store is pretty busy and seems to carry all kinds of clothes. The overall look is soft, pastel, and comfortable. Everything Seungkwan wanted to wear was inside this store.

 

Seungkwan wanders further inside and finds a few sweaters that he feels will fit well and last as he gets bigger. It’s kind of exciting to think about having to buy actual maternity clothes because he never had to before.

 

“Hey, Seungkwan, I’m going to try these on.” Seokmin calls across a few racks of clothes. “I think Soonyoungie hyung is still looking for something specific he saw on SNS. Are you ready to try things on?”

 

“Yeah, I got some things.”   
  
They both head into the fitting room and start trying things on.

 

Seungkwan looks into the mirror and sees how his stomach sticks out just enough to push out his sweater enough that he looks like he’s chubby. Seungkwan tries to push past the thoughts in his head telling him that he needs to eat less and lifts his sweater and shirt over his head. He grabs the first sweater he selected and tries it on quickly to avoid seeing his bare body in the mirror. 

 

The sweater is cut a little poorly for his figure and he can’t imagine it looking nice when it stretches out. The next sweater is much more comfortable and roomy enough for him to wear for a longer time. The final sweater is too itchy, so he doesn’t even get it all the way on before he decides to take it off, but with his luck, he gets stuck for a moment. He gets it off, but not without catching a glimpse of his bare torso in the mirror. 

 

His stomach pokes out right at his pantline ina way that makes him just look bulky. He can see the bottom of his ribs just barely. He knows that logically, they shouldn’t show, but in his head he can just hear Taewon say that he’s still too soft.

 

Seungkwan crosses his arms over his torso, trying to focus on what he knows is best for him. But he’s distracted by the way the itch in his chest from before returns more painful than before.

 

Seungkwan brings a hand up to his chest and watches in the mirror in horror as he realizes that it’s his actual breast that is sore. He brushes past his nipple and hisses at how sore it was. 

 

He stares into the mirror with his arms limp at his sides. He’s growing boobs. Surely, that can’t be right. He may be an Omega, and he may be pregnant, but he’s still male. 

 

But as long as Seungkwan stares in the mirror, the fact that his breasts are swollen enough that when he lays his hand over his chest, instead of a flat hand, he can cup his hand over it.

 

He jolts when a knock on the door alerts him to how long he’s been staring in the mirror.

 

“Kwannie, I’m done, I’ll be in line, so join me when you’re ready. I’ll cover whatever you want here. Okay?”

 

“Yeah, okay, Thanks, hyung. Be out soon.”   
  
Seungkwan pulls his shirt and sweater back on and grabs the one sweater he wanted. He tries to ignore the nagging voice in his head saying that he’s getting fat and his new found breasts were just proof of that. He closes his eyes as he walks away from the fitting room and bumps into someone.    
  
“Oh sorry, excuse me.” The older lady apologies as well and continues shopping.

 

Seungkwan turns to continue to the checkout when a display catches his eye. 

 

A whole table full of little tiny clothes. Baby onesies. In all shades of pastel and patterns. Some have animals. Some have cute sayings or puns. But a small striped one catches his eye. He picks it up to find that the cartoon character Anpanman adorns the front. It’s the cutest thing he has ever seen in his entire life in that moment.

 

He holds it out and is shocked at how small it is. The tag says it for 4-6 months. How could a baby be smaller than this?

 

He brings the soft fabric closer to feel against his cheek. He holds it to his chest for a moment, thinking about it when Soonyoung pops out of nowhere.

 

“Oh my gosh, Kwan, are you going to get that? It’s so small and so cute and wow, they’re so soft too, and you should get some in different sizes too… Or ages? I guess it makes sense since most babies are the same size… Wait, where are you going?”

 

Seungkwan is already heading to the line to purchase his one sweater. He ignores the part in him that so dearly wants to buy all the little onesies. But he just can’t.

 

“Hyung, I’m not getting it.”   
  
“But it looks like you really liked it. You don’t have to wait to ask the baby what they’re preferences are.” Soonyoung chuckles.

 

“No. I’m not getting it.”

 

“Okay… Well, that’s a cute sweater. Are you wearing it for our New Year’s party later?”

 

“Yeah, I think so.” Seungkwan and Soonyoung maneuver to where Seokmin is in line. 

 

“Alright.”

 

A buzz goes off and Seungkwan looks around confused. Soonyoung points to his pocket and gestures a phone with his hand.

 

Seungkwan realizes that he must have gotten a message or something and quickly opens his phone, unused to having to pay attention to things like this.

 

_ To: Hansol _

 

_ 14 minutes ago _

 

_ Hi, this is Seungkwan. I have a phone now. Please let me know if you get this. _

 

_ To: Seungkwan _

 

_ Just now _

 

_ seungkwannie hiiiiiiiiii wow u have a phone now? thats so cooooool _

 

_ now i have to think of a good name for ur contact _

 

_ hope ur havin a fun time with hyungs _

 

Seungkwan for a moment forgets his troubles and just smiles at the messages he got from Hansol. 

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Hansol is helping Jungkook decorate the apartment for the New Years party while Dongmin and Mingyu are cooking and preparing food for the night. 

 

Or at least, Mingyu is cooking. And Dongmin is trying. Really hard. Until Mingyu just let him arrange the fruit and snacks on fancy platters.

 

“Hey hyung?” Hansol asks from where he is cutting paper snowflakes at the kitchen counter. 

 

“Yeah?”

 

“What’s up?”   
  


“Hm?”

 

All four of them stare at each other for a moment, before breaking into laughter.

 

“Okay, my bad, but actually, this goes to any of you. Because this is kinda an Alpha question. Um… How do you control that, like, protective urge… You know…” Hansol looks around, desperate for someone else to talk.

 

Mingyu catches onto what Hansol is trying to ask. “Oh do you mean like when you feel protective over friends?”   
  
Hansol nods eagerly, when Jungkook chimes in, “Or like a boyfriend?”

 

Hansol just coughs, as Mingyu continues.

 

“Well, for me, the person I’m most protective of would be Wonwoo hyung. And I definitely had to go through a phase of being too clingy once we started dating. Part of it was being younger I was less secure about myself. Also I was a mess and I kinda thought that it wouldn’t last and I wanted to take advantage of the little time I thought I would have with him. But when I realized that I hadn’t managed to scare him off, I was able to share my worries and it really allowed me to relax my overly protective urges.”   
  
Jungkook laughs as he recalls how his brother would complain about how his new boyfriend was too clingy but smile the whole time.

 

“When I starting getting to know Jimin, I had a different issue. Wonwoo hyung isn’t super outgoing, but Jimin tends to be very touchy and friendly. So I had just wanted to keep him from the rest of the world. And for a while I was definitely too controlling and demanding. Jimin called me out pretty quickly though, and I quickly came to realize that the way I was behaving wasn’t okay at all. I learned to trust him because I started paying more attention. Like the way that the touches with his friends were different than with me. Except for Taehyung hyung, they so often look like a couple, but I can’t get between best friends and I came to understand that too. I would recommend always getting to know your boyfriend’s best friends. Wait… I honestly forgot what I was supposed to be talking about.”   
  
Dongmin takes this moment to join in. “Binnie and I are a bit different I think, because we were close before we kinda just became boyfriends. I internalized a lot more of my need to protect him. I wouldn’t act on it, and I kinda got emotionally constipated. I went from treating him like a person to like a baby. I just kinda held it in and as I did that, I held back in every other way. Until Moonbin broke up with me. We ended up getting back together the same day after having a long talk about how I was acting. He actually liked it when I was a little territorial before we had started dating. For him it was reassuring that I wanted him. He had a lot of flaky dates before and it made him very scared to lose affection. He likes the whole Alphas are protective thing. So I wouldn’t say that I completely give in to them, there’s definitely very irrational thoughts that pop up, but I do lean into the urge for PDA.”   
  
“Sounds about right. Do you know how many times I’ve walked into the apartment and see them just straddling each other on the couch. Not doing anything else, sometimes even studying. Aish, Dongminnie. You two are a lot.”   
  
“Aw Kookie, do you not stan Binwoo? They’re one of my favorite couples.”   
  
“Mingyu, do you stan our friends?” Jungkook frowns. “And what the hell is a binwoo?”

 

“Oh, no, stop, please?” Dongmin whines, leaning onto the counter.

 

Mingyu’s suggestive look intensifies. “Well, I don’t know if you know, but our dearest friend Dongmin here helped a sunbae a few semesters back with a film final project.”   
  
“Please don’t.” Dongmin cries weakly.

 

“And he was embarrassed by the script, but he wanted to keep his promise, so he asked if he could use a pseudonym.”   
  
Jungkook whispers to Hansol, “What’s a pseudonym?”   
  
“A fake name.”   
  
Jungkook contently murmurs under his breath something about being like a spy before returning his attention to his roommates.

 

“Let me introduce you to Cha Eunwoo.” Mingyu plays a video on his phone, before Dongmin snatches it up and closes the app. “Anyway, so the ‘woo’ comes from Eunwoo and add that to ‘bin’ from Moonbin and you have Binwoo, the best couple I stan.”   
  
“Okay, Mingyu, I’m going to have to ask you to not call us that. It feels kinda weird.”   
  
“I would, except for the fact that I have Moonbin’s approval to continue regardless of your thoughts on it.”   
  
Dongmin sighs and rubs his brow, once again exhausted by his boyfriend.

 

Hansol, meanwhile, is distracted as he checks a text message from an unknown number.

 

_ To: Hansol _

 

_ 2 minute ago _

 

_ Hi, this is Seungkwan. I have a phone now. Please let me know if you get this. _

 

Hansol smiles to himself as he realizes that it’s Seungkwan messaging him. And that now Seungkwan has a phone. He’s about to answer the message when Jungkook grabs the phone from him.

 

“Aw, what has our little baby Alpha so smiley? Oooh, a message… from Seungkwan? Does he have a phone now? I heard from hyung that he doesn’t have one. That’s wild.”

 

“Jungkook hyung, can I get my phone back?” Hansol asks.

 

“Try asking cutely.”   
  
“Argh, okay. Pwease can I have my phone back?” Hansol says in a high pitch voice with flower hands. 

 

“That was gross. Take it back.”   
  
“Wait, is the person you’re talking about Seungkwan?” Dongmin exclaims while Hansol responds to the text messages.

 

“What? Do you like Seungkwan?” Jungkook yells.

 

Mingyu slaps a hand over his face at the lack of awareness of his two friends.

 

“I mean,” Hansol says while scratching his neck awkwardly. “You can’t tell anyone, because I’m not sure what to do about it, but I can’t deny it. I do like him.”

 

Dongmin and Jungkook both start to coo and fuss about Hansol.

 

“Aw, baby Alpha got a crush.”   
  
“He’s so grown up.”   
  
“How sweet.”   
  
“I think I have a favorite couple now.”

 

“Please don’t tell anyone, hyungs.” Hansol asks again.

 

“Not even Moonbin?”

 

“No, we both know he and Seungkwan are close friends.” Hansol replies, making Dongmin pout.

 

“Okay, I get that. But I think Jimin would love to kno-”   
  
“I will cut you off right there, because we both know that Jimin hyung is one of the worse gossips we know.” Hansol retorts. “If you told him, then it’ll only be moments until Taehyung hyung knows and he always looks so suspicious when he has a secret. It would be so obvious.”   
  
Hansol lays his head on the counter, lamenting his decision to even bring up the conversation. He feels Mingyu pat him on the shoulder.

 

“I mean, clearly we all think you two would be great together. It’s pretty complicated, with him pregnant and his mate and all.”   
  
Jungkook enthusiastically adds that the way Hansol looked at Seungkwan at karaoke should’ve made it obvious. Dongmin adds that he felt like Seungkwan was singing to Hansol almost.

 

Mingyu brings the conversation back to its origins.

 

“Hansollie, I would say that the best way to handle the urges is to talk about it, set boundaries, especially when it’s focused on one individual.”

 

“Yeah,” Jungkook supplies. “I would say that if it’s something where you feel like you want to control things, then you definitely want to check yourself. I don’t know a lot about Seungkwan, but I have heard enough to know that it wouldn’t be good for him if you were ever controlling with him.”   
  
Dongmin nods at that. “I would say that you should channel the urges into something where you show how you care for him more than anything else. I think you should support him. Without the expectations of anything in return. And make sure he knows that, too”

  
Mingyu’s face hardens slightly. “We never really talked about that, but you don’t have any expectations for him right? Because he’s really not like a lot of people. And you can’t be one of those Alphas that relentlessly pursues one Omega. As much as I understand feeling destined for someone, you can’t let a feeling like that overcome respect.”   
  
Hansol stops for a moment to think about what was just said. He knows that he loves Seungkwan. He would love to do all the cute things he sees his hyungs do with their boyfriends. “I think I understand. Even if I love him, I think my respect and care of him is stronger. I first and foremost want him to feel safe and secure and happy. That comes before my feelings. If we never date, but Seungkwan was happy, then I think I could be fine.”

 

Hansol doesn’t feel like he’s destined to be with Seungkwan. He doesn’t really believe in soul mates or stuff like that. It seems to rigid. And he doesn’t want to think that he has these feelings because it was predetermined. 

 

Because his feelings came around from everything about Seungkwan, from the way he watches Netflix, with his eyes twinkling in the darkness, to the way he sometimes hums in his sleep when he shifts to a more comfortable position. 

 

“Sol-ah, do you know what you just said?” Dongmin asks.

 

“What, did I say something wrong? Because if I misunderstood something, I want to know how I can be the most supportive.”   
“No no, not that. I mean, you said that you love Seungkwan.”   
  
Clearly, only Dongmin had noticed it, because the other three’s jaws drop.

 

Hansol is about to say something when there’s a knock on the door and in comes Jimin and Taehyung with Wonwoo, Moonbin, Rocky, Jisung, and Felix in tow. 

 

“It’s New Year’s hyungs. It’s time to get lit!”

  
  



	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically I throw together all the idols (all of seventeen and a handful from a bunch of other groups) together for new years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and I'm realizing that with the way I'm making some of them related and basically all are dating, you can make you're way from Taehyung to Seungkwan through related and dating, which is a bad way to explain, but I hope you get what I mean
> 
> Also I edited the ages of Seungkwan in the second chapter, not a big deal, but basically the ages are kinda weird for the school years and some details are not consistent, but nothing that should detract from the readability
> 
> but if you see any details that make no sense, please let me know!!!

Slowly, more and more of their friends loiter into the apartment. The lights and decorations twinkle and the platters of snacks ended up looking quite nice, thanks to Dongmin’s precision. 

 

Immediately upon arrival, Jisung had run up to Mingyu and asked if was okay that he invited a friend or two. He had the idea to invite Changbin, Felix’s crush.

 

Ironically, a few minutes late, Felix comes up to Dongmin, asking the same thing, having invited Minho, trying to set him up with Jisung. 

 

Next comes Hyungwon and Namjoon who set up the little DJ station so they can have a fun party for New Years. Dongmin had already gone to the neighbors and with his sweetest voice, asked if they would be okay with a loud party. And the baked goods from Mingyu didn’t hurt his efforts.

 

Soon, the loudest people possible join the party, and Dongmin thanks his forethought to suckup to his neighbors. Especially Ms. Jung. Because she tends to be the one who would call the police when they get too rowdy.

 

And in walk the human migraine generators, Lucas and Haechan. And of course, wherever they are, Mark follows. An international student from Canada, he had a bit of a hard time getting used to living in Korea for his first year, but with the friendship of another international student from Hong Kong, Lucas, he was able to quickly find many friends and felt like he had a home away from home. 

 

It’s almost 7 when even more people arrive. Dowoon and Sanha arrive first, then Wonpil, Jungwoo, Sunwoo, and Jeongin. Sanha goes to bother his boyfriend, while Dowoon goes to grab a plateful of snacks before heading to Wonpil and sticking by his side. Lucas drags Jungwoo over to hang out with him and Mark and Haechan who are currently having a dance battle. Jeongin stands around with Sunwoo until Felix and Jisung wave them both over.

 

Moonbin is bothering Dongmin about something when Hyunjin, Changbin, and Minho all enter together. When Felix sees Minho enter he starts to grin smugly, but then his jaw drops as he realizes that Changbin accompanied him. Instantly he starts to chase Jisung around the living room, while Hyunjin glomps onto Jeongin when he’s not looking. 

 

Jihoon, Chan, Seungcheol, Joshua, and Jeonghan arrive, bringing with them a whole bag of fireworks. Namjoon looks concerned for a moment, until Seokjin walks through the door with a pot full of kimchi stew and takes over his attention. 

 

It’s around 8 in the evening when Soonyoung, Seokmin, and Seungkwan finally show up. They had had to stop by their respective apartments to drop off their shopping haul, but now they were ready to party. They brought with them a few cases of soju and some bottles of orange juice. 

 

Moonbin bounds over to give Seungkwan the moment he walks through the door, but he quickly looks concerned when he sees all the alcohol the trio had brought with them.

 

“Kwannie, are you okay with the alcohol?” His gaze follows Seokmin as he sets two of the cases on the kitchen counter.

 

“Binnie, it’s fine. And I know that sounds like it’s not actually fine, but really. I know the reason no one drank during Christmas was because of me. Which I appreciate a lot, and while you will all say it wasn’t a burden, I want to return the favor and make sure you all have fun as well. I want you to fully enjoy the party. And don’t worry, next year, I will fully partake in the fun as well.” Seungkwan finishes, placing a hand on his stomach to emphasize his point. 

 

“Alright then. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Moonbin turns to face the rest of the room, and yells, “Hey everyone! Seungkwan brought alc and he says to live it up!”

 

Cheers erupt from the whole room but are suspiciously loud from the youngest where they stop dancing and run towards the kitchen to start taking shots. Meanwhile, Jimin, Hyungwon, and Wonpil start making bets on who will be the first to pass out. (The bets are Chan, Jisung, and Sanha, respectively.)

 

As all the ‘00 kids plus Jeongin take a shot, Joshua tries to pass around sharpies to the more responsible older friends so they can try and mark how many drinks they’re all having. 

 

Meanwhile, Wonpil and Dowoon make their way over towards Seungkwan and Moonbin. Wonpil enthusiastically introduces himself.

 

“You must be Seungkwan, Dowoonie and I have heard a lot about you from Jeonghan and Sanha.” Wonpil says as he smiles brightly and gestures towards the slightly taller quiet boy.

 

“Ah, then you’re Wonpil hyung, their cousin? Nice to meet you.”

 

Seungkwan remembers Jeonghan mentioning Wonpil during the sleepover, but he can tell from the warm lingering scent that Wonpil must have just gotten out of heat. He wonders if he and Dowoon are an item from the way their scents seem to mingle.

 

But when he asks, Dowoon quickly excuses himself to go join in the more drinking-related activities.

 

Seungkwan quickly apologizes as Wonpil grimaces.    
  
“Hyung, I’m so sorry, if that was something I shouldn’t have asked. Really, I should’ve thought about it before I asked, it really wasn’t appropri-”

 

Wonpil interrupts him. “It’s okay. We just met. You wouldn’t know.”   
  
“Exactly, I really should go apologize to Dowoon hyung as well.”

 

Wonpil stops him from leaving.

 

“It’s fine. I can let him know later. But we’re not together. He’s my best friend. But definitely come join us later Moonbin. And I’ll try not to get too wasted so I can still be good company because I know you can’t drink right now.” Wonpil grins widely while glancing down at Seungkwan’s stomach. 

 

Jeonghan approaches after Wonpil leaves, getting up from his fiancé’s lap. 

 

“I’m going to apologize about Dowoon. He’s not great with new people. But we don’t really talk about him and Wonpil not… being together. It’s a little complicated.”

 

Seungkwan fixes him with an unimpressed look. 

 

“Hyung, if anyone understands complicated, it would be me.”

 

This makes both Moonbin and Jeonghan laugh. 

 

“Well, to put it simply, Wonpil has repeatedly turned down Dowoonie’s attempts to date because of his concerns about his own health being a burden. I don’t want to reveal all his personal health issues, but that sums it up pretty well.”

 

“Oh, but does Wonpil hyung like him too?”

 

Moonbin chimes in. “He definitely does. But he denies it. And I don’t blame him. He’s in a tough situation. Hopefully he can make it to our next Omegas’ sleepover.”

 

“I don’t want to pry more than I already have, but did he miss it because he was in heat? I could smell it on him.”

 

“Yeah,” Jeonghan confirms. “Sounds about right. And that’s part of his health problems. I’m sure if he can make the next sleepover, he’ll probably share. We’ve added a bunch of new kids recently and I don’t think they’ve fully met Wonpillie hyung before either.”

 

“Oh shit, looks like Dongminnie hyung is getting drunk. I need to make sure he doesn’t drink too much.” Moonbin announces as he leaves. But neither Seungkwan or Jeonghan really believe him as they see him shimmy over towards the kitchen where the three boys who actually live in the apartment take a double shot while casually as possible while drunk try to grind on their respective boyfriends.

 

“Seungkwan, I do want to double check that you’re okay with us drinking. Hopefully it’s fun even though you can’t.”   
  
“Of course, hyung. I want you to be able to have fun. I’ll be okay. Plus, look. Everyone is having a good time and I’m looking forward to watching everyone lose their minds.”   
  
“Alright, I think I’ll go join Seungcheol. But if you do need something, Taehyung and Seokmin don’t drink, so they will be able to for sure help you.”

 

“Thanks, hyung.” Jeonghan says as he heads over to take a shot with his fiance. 

 

Seungkwan goes to sit down, the boot on his leg weighing him down. He takes a moment to just observe all the people around him. 

 

Moonbin is now grinding cheerfully on Dongmin who is definitely trying to give his boyfriend bedroom eyes. Soonyoung and Jimin are definitely giving each other and everyone else lapdance, but if the look in Jihoon’s eyes means anything, they will have to take a moment away soon.

 

Hyunjin is holding a very full cup of something mixed and staring longingly at the very drunk and very wobbly Jeongin, who is laughing at something Haechan is saying.

 

Wonpil is glued to Dowoon’s side as they talk with Joshua and Mingyu, who is trying to hide a very obvious erection at the way Wonwoo is hanging off of him and whispering something in his ear.

 

Haknyeon, Minhyuk, and Taehyung are dancing something that definitely couldn’t be pulled off while sober in the middle of the living room as Hyungwon continues to control the music with a  telltale redness rising in his cheeks.

 

Mark, Lucas, Sanha, and Hansol are talking very seriously about something when Hansol makes eye contact with him and stands up. He then heads over to sit next to Seungkwan.

 

“Hey Kwannie, are you having a good time? Hungry? Tired? Need anything?” He asks with a bit of flush high on his cheek.

 

“I’m fine, maybe a little thirsty, I’ll grab some orange juice.”   
  
“No, no, wait. I’ll get it. You can wait here.” Hansol motions exaggeratedly for Seungkwan to stay in his spot while he heads over to the kitchen and grabs a cup of orange juice and a cup of whatever mixed drink Jihoon and Dongmin had made. He saunters back with a grin.

 

“Here.” Seungkwan grabs the cup and takes a long sip. 

 

“So, what were you talking about over there? You all looked so serious.”   
  
“Oh, well, actually, we were talking about whether dogs think in Korean or like, in barks.”

 

Seungkwan laughs lightly, looking a little tenser than he usually had been recently.

 

“What side of this oh so important debate were you on?”   
  
“Oh, well obvious they all think in whichever language they were raised, like children. But Lucas and Sanha are just furries.”   
  
Seungkwan grins, and Hansol looks over at him, noticing how the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes. There’s no twinkle like there usually is when he’s actually happy.

 

“Is this a new sweater? I don’t think I’ve seen you wear it before.”   
  
“Yeah, I got it today with Minnie hyung and Soonie hyung.”

 

“I think it looks really nice with you eyes. But I have to ask, are you okay? And before you brush it off, Soonyoung hyung might have mentioned that something happened while shopping today that made you react kinda badly. If you want to talk about it, I’m really not that drunk.”

 

Hansol leans to bump their shoulders together. Seungkwan chuckles lowly and returns the nudge with his own shoulder.

  
“Are you sure? I swear I saw you race with Minho to see who could doo a row of shots the fastest.”   
  


“Okay, I’m definitely drunk. But I’m not as drunk as Jungwoo or Changbin…” They both glance over to see that Jungwoo is now trying to arrange his long limbs properly to get a piggyback ride from the much smaller and equally drunk Changbin.

 

“Point taken.”

 

A short pause as Hansol give him space to start talking if he wants to.

 

“Okay, so you know how every week we look into, like, what’s going on here.” 

 

Seungkwan gestures to his stomach, and Hansol nods in understanding.   
  


“Well, something happened today, or maybe I only just noticed it today, when I was shopping. I tried on some sweaters, and I had to see myself in the mirror. Which, don’t get me wrong, is definitely something I know is a problem I have to overcome, like seeing my body. And I know that I have to grow for the baby…”

 

Seungkwan turns to sit facing Hansol on the sofa and Hansol copies him, his hand instinctively coming up to rest on his hand in his lap.

 

“I don’t know a better way to put it. But… am I supposed to grow boobs?”

 

Hansol’s eyes bug out of his head momentarily when he hears what Seungkwan is concerned about.    
  
“Like, is that something that is supposed to happen? Because I looked in the mirror and all of a sudden, I noticed that I’m really sensitive there now. And swollen. And I know it’s probably just a pregnancy thing and the fact that it upsets me is probably also just a pregnancy thing and maybe you’ve already mentioned it and I forgot about it and that’s also probably a pregnancy thing. And I’m sorry, I feel like I’m bringing you down right now when you should be having fun, but you’re just here with me crying again.”   
  
Seungkwan lays his head in his hands as he fails to hold back his tears. Namjoon passes by like he wants to check on them and Hansol just shakes his hands to let him know that he’s got this for now.

 

“Kwannie, I want to say that according to the websites I’ve read, while in female pregnancy, breasts experience growth early in the first trimester, in male pregnancies, it tends to not really start until later, like the second trimester. So at week 14, like you are, you are right on track.” Hansol says as calmly as possible, trying not to be weird about the fact he didn’t really want to say the words breast this much. 

 

“But it feels so wrong, to look at myself and I feel like I don’t know my own body. I don’t know if I ever did. It’s like I never really knew my own body and I was just under some kind of control by Taewon for so long, that I don’t really know my body now that he’s gone. I feel like a stranger in my own body. I know that the whole point is that I realize and recognize how bad it was with Taewon, but the more I see, the less I even know what to do… and even though I know that the bad things i think about my own body are probably just twisted by Taewon, it doesn’t change the fact that I feel like… this is all a mistake…”

 

“That what is a mistake?” Hansol tries to make eye contact with Seungkwan, whose eyes are fixed in his lap, where Hansol rubs his thumbs gently over the back of Seungkwan’s hand.

 

“...the baby. I feel like having the baby is a mistake…”   
  
Hansol waits for Seungkwan to take a deep breath before he asks his next question.

 

“Is that why you didn’t want to buy the baby clothes?”

 

Seungkwan sniffles.

 

“What if this all a mistake… I’m just going to get fat and grow boobs and end up looking like a girl but not be as pretty as a girl anyway. And then no one will want me and my baby won’t want me and I will be all alone. Or I could lose the baby. And then I’ll truly be all alone…”

 

“Okay, I’m going to start off that the fact you’re developing breasts is a good sign. It’s a developmental milestone and if you were still extremely underweight, then it wouldn’t be happening. It means you’re getting healthier and it’s a sign that you’re taking care of the baby. You’re making really good progress.”   
  
Seungkwan looks like he’s thinking hard about what Hansol just said as he wipes his eyes with his free hand.

 

“And now, the whole idea that if your body changes, you’ll lose your friends, that is all bullshit. Excuse my language, but I’m assuming that Taewon told you that?”

 

Seungkwan looks up, still not quite meeting Hansol’s eyes. He starts to explain in a cautious and low voice.

 

“The day that Taewon left, I had been throwing up. He didn’t like that I hadn’t prepared dinner, so he punished me. I didn’t want it, but I wasn’t able to get him to stop. But even though I let him do what he wanted, he wasn’t satisfied with me. He said that the way I tried to tell him no and the way I had let my body go, that it made me unsatisfactory. I was subpar. Disappointing. A failure. He said if I wasn’t going to be grateful that I was allowed to be free enough to move and exercise to keep my body pleasing, then I didn’t deserve to be able to move. And he beat me. He hit me. And kicked me. And knew I was pregnant, and I think he did too. He started to try and aim for my stomach, but when I tried to cover it, he started to step on me. He was the one that fractured my knee. And then he said that he was leaving to find a better fuck. That’s why he was at the club that night. He threw me on the ground and left me. I think I had passed out. I woke up some time later, I don’t know how long I had been out for, but I tried to drag myself to the bathroom, because I had to throw up. I thought I was going to lose the baby. I thought I was going to die. I accepted that I was going to die.”

 

Hansol pulls Seungkwan’s chin with his free hand to make eye contact with him. Seungkwan wipes at the tears streaming down his own face. He hadn’t even realized he was crying. 

 

“Oh, Seungkwan.” Hansol surges forward to hug him, Seungkwan’s body tensing before melting into his embrace, his arms going to wrap around the younger’s shoulders. After his long explanation of the night Taewon died, he finally lets out the tears he had been holding back. He sobs into the crook of Hansol’s neck. 

 

“It hurt so much. I felt so worthless. I had never been so scared in my life before. I don’t think he ever beat me that badly before. He had never beat me like that and left me alone like that.”   
  
Hansol tries to shush him, but it’s drowned out by the loud music still pulsing throughout the apartment.

 

“And the worst part was that even my last thoughts I remember were that I had disappointed him. That I had been another failure to the man I loved.”   
  
“Kwannie, you’re enough, you know? You are so worthwhile of a person. You don’t know how lucky we all feel to have you here with us. How lucky I feel to have been able to meet you and have you here today. Now take some deep breaths with me.”

 

Seungkwan does his best to slow down his hyperventilating as Hansol counts aloud. He tightens his hug and draws Seungkwan closer to his body.

 

“Good. Now I want you to acknowledge what I’m about to say. You’re Boo Seungkwan and you are doing you’re best at taking care of your baby.”

 

“‘I’m Boo Seungkwan and I am doing my best at taking care of my baby.’”

 

“Nothing anyone says can change how much you’re worth.”

 

“‘Nothing anyone says can change how much I’m worth.’”

 

“You are surrounded by people who care about you.”

 

“‘I am surrounded by people who care about me.’”

 

“And we all love you.”

 

“‘And you love me.’”

 

At this, Hansol can feel his heart skip a beat. He knows that’s not what Seungkwan is meaning to say, but nevertheless, he feels his whole body flush. He releases him from his grasp, and they sit back on the sofa, facing each other.

 

“How are you feeling right now?”

 

Seungkwan takes a few more deep breaths before responding.

 

“I think… that it feels a little better to have said it outloud. I’ve never told anyone all of that. Like the full details of that night. And I’m sorry that you had to hear it all…”

 

“No, I don’t want you to feel sorry. The only one who should be feeling sorry can’t. Now, I want to make sure you have fun for the rest of the night, if you feel ready. If you’d rather go home, I can take you back home.”

 

Seungkwan takes a quick glance around. He notices that it’s quite late now, a little past 11, and most of the party is still raging. He can tell that a few of his older friends seem to have noticed that Seungkwan and Hansol having a breakdown for the last several minutes. He wipes at his nose, sniffing.

 

“I think I want to stay. I don’t think I can repeat that story right now, so if Seungcheol hyung asks, I wouldn’t mind if you told him. I’ll probably plan to share this with Jeonghan hyung and the others during the next Omegas’ Night. But I want to stay here. I want to make it until midnight. I want to celebrate the new year.”

 

“Alright. Whatever you want to do, I’ll support it. I’ll go get you something to drink. Can’t have you getting dehydrated.”

 

As Hansol moves to get more drinks and likely some snacks, he encounters Mingyu, who for the life of him hasn’t managed to get into Wonwoo’s pants and had decided to give his attempts a break for the time being. He looks concernedly at Hansol as he approaches the kitchen.   
  
“Sol, what was that? Is Seungkwan okay? Did anything happen?” He sounds worried enough that it cuts through his drunken haze.

 

“Hyung, a lot just happened, but I think the most important thing is that Seungkwan shared something really important, and I think he plans to tell more people. But for now, I want him to be able to enjoy the rest of the night. I want him to have more good memories, especially after having to relive so many bad memories so often.”

 

Jungkook wanders over to them, a much to wide grin on his face for the amount he’s stumbling.   
  
“Sollie! I heard from Jimin who overheard from Sanha when he walked by to grab a piece of cheese that you and Seungkwan were saying something about love! Wow! Good for you, bro! Maybe you should keep those protective urges because you’ve been, like, monolo- Mopo-mopopoliz-”   
  
“Monopolizing?” Mingyu suggests.

 

“Yeah!” Jungkook nearly shouts as he points towards Mingyu with his half empty bottle of soju in hand. “You’ve been mononopizing Seungkwan all night. I’d say it’s not fair, but I mean, I get what it feels like to be in looooooooove!”

 

“Jungkook hyung, it’s not what you think.”

 

“Oooooh, are you gonna kiss him at midnight?”

 

Hansol’s heart drops into his stomach. He chances a glance around and makes a realization.

 

Most of his friends are already dating each other or at least, had a pair. How did he end up in a super large group of friends and every single last one of them was also gay? It almost seemed like it wasn’t actually real for a moment.   
  
Now this never really bothered him, until he realized that meant there was the potential that almost everyone else would be making out at midnight, possibly leaving him and Seungkwan to just awkward look at each other.

 

He drags a hand down his face in exasperation.

 

“No hyung, I do not intend to kiss him. It would be too much. I don’t think he’d want to, and it would feel like I was taking advantage of him after he shared a really haunting personal experience.”

 

“Alright, alright, alright. I’mma go find my boyfriend. I think he’s had enough to drink that I’m going to beat  _ this _ one,” he pauses to dramatically point at Mingyu, “and  _ that _ one,” he then swerves to aim his finger at Dongmin who is clearly very invested in getting as close to Moonbin as he can without taking off any clothes, “at getting it tonight. I think I see Jimin’s shirt on the ground. Oh, yeah, I’m totally winning this bet. Get your money ready, losers.”

 

Jungkook downs the rest of the soju, places the bottle on the counter in a drunkenly careful way, before heading back into the party to find his now shirtless boyfriend.

 

“Well, that was wild.” Mingyu comments.

 

“I’m going to head back to Kwannie.” Hansol picks up a water bottle and some more juice before heading back, noting the determined look on Mingyu’s face, likely going to try and win that bet.

 

~~~~~~

 

While Hansol had been talking to Mingyu, one more person managed to make it to the party. Felix opens the door to reveal Hoseok finally making an appearance. Hyungwon instantly notices his boyfriend enter and quickly announces that it’s soft hours now and changes the playlist.

 

However, the shift to soft ballads doesn’t stop the fact that several couples have been making out for quite a while now.

 

Hyungwon goes to jump into Hoseok’s arms, kissing him on the lips. Hoseok had managed to get off early from his shift at the bar, where he worked to try his best to pay his way through medical school. He gives a quick wave towards his fellow med students, Seokjin and Dowoon, before returning his focus to his drunk boyfriend.

 

Elsewhere, Sanha and Felix are secretly recording Minho and Jisung making out on the beanbag in the corner of the living room.

 

Jeonghan is sitting in Seungcheol’s lap on one of the couches.

 

Chan is passed out on the floor and Minhyuk and Haechan are drawing on his face, while Mark is pouting to no one in particular at the lack of attention from Haechan. 

 

Soonyoung and Jihoon, who had been practically been dry humping against the wall, seem to be beating Mingyu, Jungkook, and Dongmin at their own game, as they disappear into the bathroom.

 

Jungwoo is sleeping with his head in Lucas’s lap, while Dowoon seems to be supporting the full weight of a very drunk Wonpil through a back hug. 

 

Joshua and Seokmin are slow dancing, forehead to forehead, in the middle of the living room, while Hyunjin and Sunwoo seem to be discussing how to achieve the same level of gentle energy with Jeongin and Haknyeon who are currently dancing cutely with each other

 

Meanwhile, Taehyung, Namjoon, Changbin, and Seokjin are playing an insanely intense version of twister, being led by Seungkwan who calls which limb on which color, with the added twist of taking a shot everytime they got through a full round of turns.

 

Hansol goes to sit next to Seungkwan, cheering on the twister players. Until Namjoon slipped, bringing his boyfriend down with him, much to his dismay.

 

“Ten minutes until midnight!” Seungcheol yells.

 

Everyone was soon in the living room, most of the couples joining Seokmin and Joshua in slow dancing. Chan had been moved to the couch that Jungwoo and Lucas had vacated in favor of feeding each other the last few snacks of 2018.

 

As the game of twister came to a close, Seungkwan and Hansol were left to watch the other couples dance slowly. Well, all but Minho and Jisung, who were still making out in the bean bag.

 

How it turned out to feel more like Hansol’s prom, he’ll never know.   
  
At his prom, he had been pressured by his friends to take a date. But he hadn’t been out at the time and ended up just asking a girl that he knew liked him enough to say yes. He had gone with some of his friends, most of which took their own girlfriends or boyfriends.

 

He had ended up awkwardly sitting and watching other couples dance while he disappointed his own date.

 

He could see that even Sunwoo had managed to get Haknyeon to dance with him. Heck, even Hyunjin was square dancing with Jeongin, which was probably best to keep Hyunjin’s drunk self further away from the high school than if they were truly slow dancing.

 

The final straw was seeing Changbin walk to Felix and offer him his hand, pulling him up to join the others in a slow swaying.

 

Hansol decided that he wasn’t going to be left out again. And Seungkwan wasn’t going to be left out. Which means he has no other option but to actually dance with Seungkwan. 

 

He stands up, wiping some imaginary dust off his jeans before turning to Seungkwan and bowing. He offers his hand and asks.

 

“Seungkwan, would you do me the honor of joining me in this dance?” He tries to make it as jokingly serious as possible as to not reveal how hard his heart is beating.

 

“Well of course, my dearest Hansol.” 

 

Seungkwan takes his hand and stands up. Hansol finds that the easiest way for them to move would be to just rotate around the cast Seungkwan still has on his leg, so they start to turn slowly.

 

That is, until Seungkwan almost loses his balance, and Hansol moves from holding both his hands to holding him by his waist, thumbs smoothing over the swollen sides of his stomach through his sweater.

 

He doesn’t make a move to remove his hands from his sides, so Seungkwan adjusts to wrap his arms around Hansol’s shoulders, bringing them to a more intimate position. Hansol can feel his heart speed up somehow. He bets he’s blushing, and he places his head on the shorter's shoulder to hide it.

 

He can feel Seungkwan nuzzle into his neck as well, as he starts to hum along with the song playing.

 

“One minute to go!” Sanha yells, without moving his head at all, so he basically yells this right into Minhyuk’s ear.

 

Hansol lifts his head to see Minhyuk scowl at the sudden shout, before his face melts into a sweet adoration as Sanha leans his head down to rest on his shoulder, despite the height difference between them. 

 

He turns towards Seungkwan to see him looking back at him. Seungkwan looks tired but content. It might just be the twinkle lights, but his eyes are sparkling at him. And is that a blush on his face? It could just be the fact it’s not brightly lit in between all of their friends, but if it is a blush, it suits his face.

 

“TEN!”

 

Hansol draws Seungkwan closer for a moment.

 

“NINE!”

 

Seungkwan breathes deeply in the crook of Hansol’s neck, taking in his relaxing scent.

 

“EIGHT!”

 

Hansol nuzzles his nose in Seungkwan’s hair, smelling the fresh scent of his shampoo that they share.

 

“SEVEN!”

 

Hansol pulls back to look at Seungkwan, whose eyes are trained on the ground again.

 

“SIX!”

 

Seungkwan slides his arms down to rest on Hansol’s chest,.

 

“FIVE!”

 

Hansol once again gently lifts Seungkwan’s chin with his hand to meet their eyes.

 

“FOUR!”

 

Seungkwan holds the eye contact, something sparkling in his eyes that wasn’t there earlier in the night.

 

“THREE!”

 

Hansol sees Seungkwan’s eyes flicker down towards his lips and he does the same.

 

“TWO!”

 

Hansol takes Seungkwan’s face in his hands now.

 

“ONE!”

 

Hansol leans in, seeing Seungkwan’s eyes flutter close, his long eyelashes looking ever so delicate against his soft skin.

 

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of world building things:
> 
> percentages of Alphas, Betas, and Omegas vary depending on country and region
> 
> for example, Korea is mostly Alphas and Betas, whereas the US has a stronger population of Betas
> 
> and this affects the way social structures are, where there are less Betas, there tend to be stronger reinforcement of traditional dominance of Alphas and submission of Omegas, but with more Betas, there is more balance because there are fewer Alpha-Omega couples overall


	10. CHAPTER TEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan goes to a dog cafe with friends
> 
> but like more happens of course, not like I could have a chapter without something ahppening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started drinking some wine around 4 today, and I kept drinking for the rest of the afternoon. So if this chapter doesn’t seem like the strongest chapter, I’m sorry. 
> 
> But I have a lot of plot points I really want to get to and as I’m currently a bit drunk, I can only see what I want to do. Let me know if the end of this chapter is rough because I can definitely try to revise it a bit if it’s not up to grade. 
> 
> I don’t know how the whole Beta thing works but I don’t have anyone reading over my chapters before I drunkenly decide I’m ready to post. But if anyone wants to Beta my story, let me know. I’m interested in maybe having a Beta reader. 
> 
> Please enjoy as I drink my sixth drink of the night!!!!!

 

Hansol is about to close his eyes when he hears a high-pitched squeal. He draws back quickly and looks around. Seungkwan opens his eyes as well and looks up at Hansol.

 

It seems like the sound came from Felix somehow, and by the looks of it, had to have been caused by Changbin.

 

Hansol turns his head to look back at Seungkwan, who glances back down at the ground, before gesturing that he wants to sit back down.

 

Hansol lets go from where he had been holding his face gently, trying to decipher the strange look in the other’s eyes. 

 

He moves to sit down, but he’s grabbed by his brother as he runs to leave the apartment. He sees that Jisung has finally gotten off of Minho for the first time in like an hour and is carrying the bag full of fireworks and sparklers.

 

He can hear Mingyu asking if he can help Seungkwan out. He can only imagine that his hyung had seen them just now. And he knows he’s not going to be able to get away with not talking about it. 

 

Not that he didn’t appreciate the fact he had so many good friends who would always be available to talk deeply about their issues, but sometimes he wishes he could just be one of those macho dudes that didn’t need to talk about his feelings.

 

He takes the sparkler from Chan who’s handing them out to everyone. He sees Mingyu leave the apartment with Seungkwan piggybacked and carrying a large box of poppers.

 

Joshua hands him some noisemakers and party hats to hand out. He starts to distribute the hats to people and when he reaches Mingyu and Seungkwan, the taller bends down and he gently stretches the elastic to put the hat on Seungkwan. Seungkwan blushes.

 

“Happy New Year, Hansol.”   
  
Hansol gives him his wide and lopsided smile as he returns the sentiment.

 

“Happy New Year, Seungkwan.”   
  
“Oh, hyung, Happy new Year.” Mingyu mocks to himself, as he is ignored by the two. “Oh, why thank you, Happy New Year to you too, hope you have a great year.”

 

“Ha ha.” Hansol slaps him lightly on the shoulder, fingers brushing past Seungkwan where his arms are wrapped around Mingyu’s neck to keep him up.

 

Hansol has to fight back a blush as he fights his urge to tell Mingyu to let go of the Omega. He knows that the reason he decided to carry him was because he was tired and it was hard to move around with his cast after such a long day, and that he has no reason to be upset. Mingyu has Wonwoo and isn’t after Seungkwan.

 

But the jealousy lingers regardless. Especially when he sees the way Seungkwan tucks his face into Mingyu’s neck.

 

His thoughts are interrupted by Jeonghan running out of the apartment, calling for everyone to wait so he can take pictures, waving his polaroid around.

 

Seungcheol pouts and whines that he wants Jeonghan in the photos too.

 

But before anyone can say another word, they see Ms. Jung leaving her apartment. Very quickly, Mingyu, Dongmin, and Jungkook look worried and try to quiet down all their friends.

 

Ms. Jung looks stern. The middle-aged woman with crinkly smile lines looks like she’s about to scold the large group of drunk kids.

 

“I can take the photo if you want.”

 

Dongmin’s jaw drops open, and Jungkook quickly closes it with his hand, as Jeonghan hands the polaroid to the woman, asking if she’s sure.

 

When she just smiles and nods her head, Jungkook and Dongmin, in their drunken minds, start to formally bow to the woman, all the way to the ground. She just laughs and tells them to go join the others, who are now all posed together as a large group.

 

“Try to squeeze in a little tighter,” she says, motioning with her hands.

 

Seungcheol takes this as a cue to pick Jeonghan up bridal style. Everyone else follows his lead and everyone starts to attempt picking up someone else.

 

Chan gets on Jungkook’s shoulders as Lucas convinces Jungwoo that he isn’t too drunk to carry him like Seungcheol is to Jeonghan. He drops him once or twice before settling for the iconic Titanic pose with Jungwoo as Rose and Lucas as Jack.

 

Jimin jumps right into Taehyung’s arms, leaving Taehyung to drop all the fireworks onto the ground to catch his incoming friend. Mark and Haechan do Haechan’s signature over the shoulder, butt out pose. Sunwoo looks at Haknyeon, says, “Trust me,” and hoists him up into a bridal carry as well.

 

Sanha jumps onto Minhyuk’s back, Soonyoung jumps onto Jihoon’s back, as Hoseok and Hyungwon casually pose like models. Hyunjin, Felix, Changbin, and Jisung all hold Jeongin across them, while Minho tries to casually backhug Jisung who is blushing all the way down his neck.

 

Dowoon and Wonpil sit on the ground in front, forming a heart with their arms, next to Seokmin and Joshua who are on the ground laughing after assuming the other will catch them as they both try to jump into each other’s arms.

 

Dongmin and Jungkook remain on the ground in bowing position, while Mingyu kneels down carefully with Seungkwan and Moonbin and Hansol move to make a giant heart around Seungkwan.

 

Seokjin and Namjoon simply hold each other’s waists like a regular couple, as if they aren’t surrounded by their insane friends.

 

Hansol looks to the side to see Seungkwan smiling for the photo. He’s read about the whole pregnancy glow thing, but he definitely didn’t realize it would make Seungkwan look like he was actually angelic.

 

He sees a flash in the corner of his eye, and he realizes that the photo was taken. But he hardly minds when he can spend more time taking in how happy Seungkwan looks. 

 

Jeonghan rushes forward to take the polaroid back from Ms. Jung and thanks her graciously. She heads back to her apartment with a wave and a smile, wishing for them to be safe and have fun.

 

The rest of the night is spent taking more photos and running around with sparklers and setting off fireworks.

 

Seungkwan makes sure he gets a photo with all of them. Maybe he’ll put the photos on his wall. His room could use with something on the walls.

 

It definitely seems like a lot changed between Jisung and Minho, considering how Jisung had freaked out earlier that night when he realized Minho was at the party. 

 

And he can see Wonpil and Dowoon giggling as Dowoon tries to stop the other from rolling on the ground.

 

Different fireworks start to go off, streaming into the air with bright screams and loud crackles. 

 

Suddenly, there’s a shout from Lucas.

 

“Everyone! I have a surprise!”   
  
He holds his phone out. It’s on speaker. Suddenly a voice cuts through.

 

“Everyone! Happy New Year!” Another voice joins.

 

“How is everyone?” Seungkwan is confused, but these are clearly friends that weren’t able to make it.

 

A lot of them mob towards Lucas and the phone, now being too loud to hear what is being said through the phone.

 

Jungwoo walks over to stand near Seungkwan, casually wrapping an arm around his waist to let him lean on him. 

 

“I’m sure you’re confused. Junhui hyung and Minghao hyung are on the phone. They’re university friends. They are a couple. Junhui hyung is Wonwoo hyung’s age and an Alpha. Minghao hyung is Seokmin hyung’s age and an Omega. Minghao hyung is finishing his last year of university in China, so Junhui hyung is there with him until he graduates this year.”   
  
“Ah, okay. So are they going to return here afterwards?”

 

“Yep, I think that’s the plan. They’re a cute couple too. And they’re really close with Lucas and Haknyeon because they’re both from Hong Kong. Well, Haknyeon is from Jeju but loved in Hong Kong for a few years too.”

 

“Oh, he’s from Jeju too?”

 

“Oh yeah, I forgot you were from there too. But yeah. I’m sure they’ll love you when you meet them. Don’t pretend like you’re not worried. I can tell.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

Seungkwan feels reassured by Jungwoo’s calm demeanor. 

 

“Babe. Babe! Come say hi!”

 

“That would be my Lucas. Gotta go. But Kwannie, I hope you’ve had fun tonight. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

 

Seungkwan gives a little nod as Jungwoo gets dragged away by Lucas. 

 

Seungkwan smiles as he watches the mass of people still shouting, now some Mandarin and Cantonese joining the mix. 

 

A small group—Minho, Changbin, Jeongin, Jisung, and Felix—break off and announce they’re going to head home to their various residences. 

 

A little later, Hyungwon and Hoseok head to their apartment. 

 

Moonbin, Wonwoo, and Jimin all plan to stay over for the night, and after hearing this, Sanha let’s Minhyuk know that he’ll be staying at his place then. 

 

Jeonghan looks disgruntled but when Seungcheol distracts him, he pushes it from his mind. 

 

The rest of the group determines their various sleepover plans as Hansol heads over to Seungkwan’s side. 

 

“I’m tired. I’m gonna head home. You ready?”

 

“Yeah.” Seungkwan is tired. Hansol scoots a little closer to bump their arms against each other. 

 

Seungkwan tilts his head to rest of Hansol’s shoulder as they watch the rest of the fireworks get set off. Flashes of light and shouts as people throw poppers at each other are the background noise as Hansol looks down at Seungkwan’s brown hair. 

 

He can see him shiver, so he automatically brings his arm to wrap around his waist and draw him further into his body heat. Seungkwan moves his arm to place his hand over Hansol’s, his hand now resting on the side of his small bump. 

 

Seungkwan laces his fingers over his. 

 

And in the peaceful moment, they don’t even realize that Jeonghan is lurking with his Polaroid. 

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Jeonghan is just scrolling through social media as he lays on the sofa when he hears a shout. 

 

The yell continues as he hear a stumbling sound from Hansol’s room. The stumbling turns into steps as Hansol runs into the living room.

 

“Hannie hyung, when did you take this?” 

 

Hansol is waving his phone in the air. Jeonghan can’t tell what’s on the screen, but he can guess.

 

“When did you take these photos! And why would you post them! Seungkwan has a phone now and he could see them! Mingyu could see them! Ahhhh!”   
  
“I think they’re cute. And I’m sure Seungkwan thinks that too. And I took two, so you could both have one.”

 

Hansol looks up at him suspiciously, arms crossed angrily. He snatches the two polaroids out of Jeonghan’s hands, looking at them closely. He can’t deny they are really nice, the perfect amount of exposure and a little grainy, and it’s almost like Seungkwan glows through the photo. 

 

“And a little birdy might have told me that you two were pretty close that night.”

 

“What? Says who! I swear, if Mingyu said anything, he’s d-”

 

“Call it a mother’s instinct, but let’s just say that you’re not that subtle, kiddo.”

 

“Okay, alright. First of all, you’re marrying my brother, so you can’t call yourself my mother. That’s weird. And subtle? Of course I am.”

 

“I will always be your mom.” Jeonghan tries to make his point by ruffling Hansol’s hair. “And that means I have tingly senses when you like someone. You know, it’s cute when you stare at him.”

 

“Agh,” Hansol hangs his head in his hands, thoroughly embarrassed. 

 

Jeonghan moves to place the two polaroids on the fridge, when Hansol says he’ll have the one taken from the right. 

 

Hansol looks at the photo a little closer. From the angle in this Polaroid, you can see Seungkwan’s little smile a bit clearer and Hansol just wants to burn that image into his memory. 

 

“Hannie hyung…”

 

“Yes, my child?” Jeonghan asks as he slides up next to Hansol where he’s sitting at the kitchen counter. He pops a few grapes into his mouth. 

 

“Do you think it’s… okay like Seungkwan?” 

 

Hansol peers up at his friend, hoping to have little insight to the Omega. 

 

“I feel like you would know best. Plus you’re closer to him.”

 

Jeonghan sighs deeply. “Sollie, you know that Seungkwan adores you. You’re one of his closest friends. I don’t think he could manage day to day without you listening to him ramble on and on. But as for liking him? I can’t tell you. It’s not an easy thing to navigate. Seungkwan’s trauma and pregnancy. It’s complicated. So if you’re going to pursue him in any way, it’ll be just as complicated. It’s not going to be something I can give good advice for.”

 

He pauses, thinking back to when he was younger.

 

“When your brother and I started dating, I remember thinking his attempts to ask me out were cute. But I can only imagine that if I had gone through even a fraction of what Seungkwan has gone through, then I wouldn’t have liked his pursuit at all. It probably would have come off as too aggressive. I think it’s okay to like him. But you’ll want to think a lot about any move you make. It’s hard to tell how he’ll receive it.” Jeonghan glances over at him seriously. 

 

Hansol sighs. “Makes sense, hyung. I… I’d rather him be comfortable and just be friends more than make him uncomfortable by doing anything more. But I just can’t but worry about him. Constantly. Whenever he’s out of my sight.”

 

“Ah, those Alpha tinglies?”

 

“What? Tinglies?”

 

“Oh, that’s what Cheollie calls that natural urge that Alphas have to protect their mate. His were also really strong. He once almost fought Junhui for hugging me once.”

 

“Really?” Hansol asks in disbelief. 

 

“Yeah. He had a difficult time controlling his aggression when we started dating. He was still worried how serious the relationship was to me. He shouldn’t have worried, clearly.” Jeonghan splays his hand out in front of him to admire his engagement ring for the third time that day. 

 

“I know it’s selfish. But sometimes I wish Seungkwan didn’t go through all this.”

 

“Why would that be selfish?”

 

“Because if he didn’t have to survive through Taewon’s treatment, then it wouldn’t be so difficult for me to figure out what to do about liking him.”

 

A pause weighs between them. 

 

“Sollie, I have to say that if you do decide to pursue a relationship with him, the journey will be different than the rest of ours. And that’s okay because that just means you’re being sensitive to what he needs. And that’s what we’re all trying to do. Build him up while being sensitive to what he needs from all of us.” Jeonghan sees the way Hansol deflates. “But if I had to guess, I’d say Seungkwan might be a bit fond of you, too.” 

 

Jeonghan motions towards the Polaroid Hansol still has in his hand. He points at the happy little smile Seungkwan has on his face as he’s turned into Hansol’s side, both their hands resting on his stomach. 

 

A key giggling in the lock interrupts the tender moment. Seungcheol walks in and kisses Jeonghan chastely on the mouth. He places his groceries on the counter. 

 

“Hi Hannie. What’s that, Sollie?”

 

Seungcheol peers over at the photo before Hansol jumps up and runs to the other side of the counter. 

 

“No. Jeonghan hyung, you better not say anything.”

 

“Alright. Whatever. I don’t know what  _ that _ was about, but I can smell your pheromones. Got some tinglies?”

 

Hansol just blanches as he realizes that he’s more of an open book than he thought. 

 

Jeonghan peers through the grocery bags, starting to put things away in the cupboard. He holds up oranges and some cherry tomatoes. 

 

“Cheol, were these on the list?”

 

“Hansollie asked me to buy them. I think he said something about Seungkwan’s baby is an tomato and he needs to throw away oranges for it?”

 

“Oh… it’s something for our Seungkwan?”

 

Hansol’s pale face flushed again as he runs back to his room. 

 

“Aish, his baby isn’t a tomato, it’s an orange!”

 

His door slams. 

 

“What was that about?”

 

Jeonghan just laughs. 

 

“Well, the thing is, I think your brother has a crush on Seungkwan.”

 

Seungcheol’s eyes go round in surprise. 

 

“Really? No way. Our Seungkwannie?”

 

“Wow, you really are oblivious. No wonder you were so worried when we started dating. You couldn’t see how much I liked you, could you?”

 

Jeonghan pinches Seungcheol’s cheek. 

 

“Hannie, stop.” He whines while pouting. 

 

“Well, anyway, Hansol likes Seungkwan. He got those Alpha tinglies about him. He’s out with some friends, right?”

 

“Yeah, he’s at a park or a cafe or something with Moonbinnie, and I think they met with some others too.”

 

Seungcheol’s pout transforms into a worried expression instead. Jeonghan runs his thumb over the creases between his eyebrows. 

 

“Why do you look so worried, Cheollie?”

 

“You know how the doctor called about the heat hormones. Well, the traces should be metabolized out of his blood in another week or two, which means that he wouldn’t be susceptible to a pseudoheat, but I’m still just concerned about it.”

 

Jeonghan sidles up to his fiancé, wrapping his arm around his waist. 

 

“All we can do is be prepared to handle it if it happens. And look, you’re providing really well, look at all the food you’ve stocked the cupboards with in the last few days. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were trying to show yourself in a the role of a father figure. I thought that Alphas usually did that when they want to show that they’d be good fathers…”

 

Jeonghan’s chuckles die off as he feels Seungcheol tense next to him. Nervousness permeates the air around them. He pulls away to look closer at his face. Seungcheol tried to avoid his eyes. 

 

“Wait, are you trying to show me you could be a good dad?”

 

Seungcheol flushes. 

 

“Don’t say that outloud. It… affects me embarrassingly. But ever since we got engaged, my hormones have been going crazy. Like they’re anticipating us… maybe having kids soon.”

 

Jeonghan smiles and dips down to meet Seungcheol’s eyeline. 

 

“Cheollie, I might not be ready quite yet, but know that I have been thinking about that too.” He pecks him on his cheek. “And I think you’d be the best dad.”

 

Seungcheol wraps his arms around Jeonghan and draws him into a hug. 

 

“But we’re going to have to wait until after the wedding. Gotta keep my figure for our wedding night!” Jeonghan teases as he tries to slip away from his fiancé. 

 

He escapes and starts to run away, inciting Seungcheol to chase after him, catching him by the waist and spinning around, until both of them collapse onto the sofa, laughing and in love. 

 

~~~~~~~

 

The dog cafe had been a great idea. 

 

Seungkwan was currently sitting in the ground, surrounded by dogs that were living all the attention. Haknyeon and Jungwoo were sitting near him as well, various treats and toys being thrown around. 

 

Moonbin returns from the counter with several pastries and cakes on a tray and a holder with their various lattes and coffees. Haknyeon picks at the cake, while Jungwoo takes a big bite.

 

“Binnie, aaaaah.” Seungkwan opens his mouth, promoting Moonbin to tear a piece of pineapple bun to pop into his waiting mouth. 

 

“Alright. I think it’s time for you to feed yourself.” Moonbin moves to hoist Seungkwan up from his spot on the floor, pulling him up from his armpits. Seungkwan’s stomach is now big enough that it kind of gets in his way when he tries to bend over, even though to an outsider, he just looks like he’s bloated or ate a little more much for lunch. Seungkwan makes his way to the table as Moonbin takes his spot on the floor. He lies down and let’s all the dogs jump all over him. 

 

Seungkwan takes bites of the chocolate mousse, while Jungwoo turns hastily to Haknyeon. 

 

“So. It’s been a week. And you haven’t told us about what went on between you and Sunwoo at the New Years Party.”

 

Haknyeon blushes. He picks up a little French bulldog and holds it in his lap.

 

“Okay, okay. I wanted to wait for the next sleepover. But I guess I’ll share.” Haknyeon leaves a moment of silence as he allows anticipation to build up.

 

“Sunwoo might have asked me to hang out and meet his friends.”

 

The other three Omegas let out a squeal as they start to ask questions.

  
“Okay, before you all lose your minds, yes, he wants me to meet his friends, no, he didn’t call it a date, and yes, he made me forget about my own problems for a while. It honestly felt like more than I possibly imagined. He just sat and listened to me while I ranted on and on, and then he still wanted me to meet his friends.”   
  
“Awww, meeting his friends? That’s basically skipping steps ahead in the dating timeline. You’re basically boyfriends now.” Jungwoo says excitedly, clasping his hands together. 

 

Haknyeon shakes his head. “Like, I get what you’re seeing, hyung, but I’m still worried that if he gets more physical, he’ll feel turned off from me.”   
  
“But Nyeonnie, you’ve been taking good care of your body. If you think he’d be disappointed by your body, then he’s not focusing on the right part of who you are.” Seungkwan adds between bites of muffin.

 

Haknyeon looks down towards his lap and the little French bulldog puppy. He takes a deep breath before explaining, “Seungkwan hyung, I think I should explain. I’ve always been a little bit thicker, which I understand now that it’s not a problem. But over the last few years, I went through an eating disorder. I wouldn’t even say that it’s over, because really, once you see yourself the way I do, it’s almost impossible to return to normal.” Haknyeon cradles the little puppy closer to his chest as he continues. “But, I have really intense body dysmorphia. I don’t look in mirrors. Both because I don’t like what I see and because living without looking at my body helps me experience life beyond being obsessed with my body image. Like I know that my body doesn’t look the same way to other people as it does to me. So when I say that I’m worried that he’d be disappointed in my body, I can he it in two ways. Him being disgusted by the fact that my body is so fat and gross. But I also can imagine him being scared away by the fact I know my body is almost skeletal.”

 

Moonbin leans over to rubs the youngest’s back. The little French bulldog nuzzles deeper into Haknyeon’s lap, rubbing his head on his stomach.

 

Some of the puppies head towards Seungkwan, peering up at him with their big watery eyes. 

 

“My main issue is the fact that I recognize the issue, but I still feel powerless to do anything about it. And I feel like I’m watching myself make the worst decisions for myself.”

 

Seungkwan subconsciously places his hand over his stomach. “I get what you mean. And I’ve been going through a lot of the same feelings recently. But I’ve found it easiest to just focus on why I’m eating more than the fact that I am actually eating more than I want to.”   
  
Haknyeon nods. “Honestly, that makes sense. To think of being able to do the things I want to instead of thinking that I’m eating a lot more than I’m used to. Thanks, hyung.”

 

“I heard you have a dance showcase soon too, so make sure to take care of yourself. So you can show your best self at the showcase. Because you know we’ll all be there to support you and Soonyoung hyung.”

 

Haknyeon smiles and accepts his friends’ support. He accepts a spoonful of the chocolate mousse from Seungkwan. 

 

Jungwoo notices Seungkwan holding his stomach and asks if he’s okay.   
  
“Yeah, I’m fine. I think it might just be that upset stomach that comes along with having a baby. I’ll be fine.”

 

“Kwannie, just let us know if you’d rather go home or grab something else to eat.” Moonbin adds.

 

Seungkwan does his best to ignore the warm feeling in his belly and the tingling in his chest.

 

Jungwoo speaks up again. “Moonbin, so what did you and Dongmin hyung get up to after the party?”

 

Moonbin flushes. “Well, Dongminnie hyung was actually so drunk that he tried to get me to blow him in the bathroom at one point. But once we got alone after people left, he fell straight asleep after trying to get me naked. And there I was. Naked. Next to my sleeping boyfriend.”   
  
“Rough.”   
  
“Yeah. Dongmin gets pretty horny when he drinks, doesn’t he.”

 

Moonbin blushes deeper as he nods stiffly.

 

“But Jungwoo, what about you and Lucas? Isn’t your heat coming soon? You mentioned you were planning to take a heat break.”   
  
Jungwoo clears his throat before he starts. “Hmm, yeah, well, it’s been awhile since I’ve had a heat. I’m due to go through one. And I think I’m going to have it this weekend. I mean I already went off suppressants. So it should be coming.”   
  
“What are you planning? Like… with Lucas?” Haknyeon asks, very interested in how their relationship is going.

 

Jungwoo focuses his attention on the little Labrador puppy in his lap. “I think I want Lucas to go through it with me. I don’t really like my heats. Not because they’re annoying. We all know they’re annoying.” Moonbin and Haknyeon hum in agreement. “But I tend to have really painful heats. I feel super vulnerable. And I have been dating Lucas for almost a year now. He’s helped me through a heat before because I wasn’t doing too well.”   
  
Seungkwan is interested in hearing more about how other Omegas’ heats go, but he waits to allow Jungwoo to share at his own pace. He continues to ignore the uncomfortable feeling growing in his stomach.

 

“But we’ve gone through difficulties together and I trust him enough for him to go through my heat together.”

 

“Well, you’ve had a hard enough time getting to where you are now, so I hope you don’t have any more problems.” Moonbin says.

 

“I hope you don’t mind me asking,” Seungkwan gets out, trying to ignore how the burning in his stomach seems to making the rest of his body heat up. “But did something happen?”   
  
Moonbin and Jungwoo glance at each other.

 

“Well, I feel like you should know this, but odds are, you don’t know. It’s not your fault at all if you don’t. But most Omegas smell very alluring to Alphas. They have sweet scents that really appeal to Alphas, generally. But when you’re pregnant, you’re scent changes. It attracts Alphas, and Betas and other Omegas, differently. But once you’ve been pregnant, you’re scent changes permanently… So I’ve always been afraid that Lucas wouldn’t… wait, do you smell that?”

 

Seungkwan looks around him for the source of the smell that’s so concerning ot Jungwoo. The puppies around him seem to still just want his attention, some of them actually yipping at him now. Moonbin and Haknyeon seem to focus their attention on him as well.

 

Seungkwan can feel that tumbling feeling in his stomach flare up. A sudden wave of heat hits Seungkwan and he can tell what’s happening now.

 

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s just my heat. I didn’t realize it was going to happen, but it’s fine. I should head home though… What, why are you all looking at me like that?”

 

Seungkwan looks so completely confused that the rest realize that Seungkwan genuinely doesn’t realize the implications of what could be happening.

 

Moonbin stands up and goes to hold Seungkwan’s sides as he can literally see the heat rise in Seungkwan’s face.

 

“Kwannie, I don’t get serious too much, but right now, you need to know, that it is not normal at all to have a heat while pregnant. I don’t know what Taewon did to you to make you handle this so calmly, but this is dangerous. Not just for you but for your baby. This isn’t supposed to be happening.”   
  
Seungkwan can see the sincerity in Moonbin’s eyes. All the things that Taewon had told him for years come flooding back in his mind.  _ Why aren’t I having heats? Why would I refuse my Alpha? Who else would take care of me when I become needy? I’m lucky that my Alpha spares time to take care of me, even when it becomes a burden on him. _

 

“But, Taewon, he always told me that heats happen to Omegas…” Seungkwan holds onto his stomach tighter now, the heat hitting him in a wave, now edging on painful.

 

“Seungkwan, how are you feeling? Did you feel anything yesterday or this morning?” Jungwoo asks calmly, while Haknyeon starts to message Jeonghan.

 

“No…” Seungkwan grits out, the waves of heat becoming waves of pain.

 

“Binnie, I don’t think this is just an accident. He didn’t feel any pre-heat. Even if he didn’t realize it, we would’ve noticed it. You know I’m right. This has to be because of Taewon.”   
  
“Jungwoo hyung, what do you mean? How does he have a heat if he’s already pregnant?”   
  
“Nyeonie, if you’ve already messaged Seungcheol, Jeonghan, or Joshua, can you call the hospital?”

 

Haknyeon gets on it, calling the hospital and trying to explain to the dispatcher what is happening, while Seungkwan curls in on himself, the pain now overwhelming his body wherever there was heat just moments before.

 

“Kwannie, stay with me. I need you to know that this is not how heats are. I don’t know what you’re expecting now that you don’t have Taewon here, but you’ll be okay.”

 

Seungkwan can’t quite pay attention to Jungwoo at the moment, as the waves of pain and heat hit him and he can feel the slick start to dampen his underwear.

 

Moonbin’s eyes widen in worry, as he can smell not only the scent of slick and heat but the scent of terror. He’s concerned as he watches Seungkwan curl further in on himself. He can see the sweat forming on his brow and the way Seungkwan’s expression goes from indifferent to realization. 

 

“Kwannie, we’re going to take you back to your apartment. We’re going to make sure you’re okay. You’re going to be okay, Kwannie. Please just nod your head. I need to know that you understand what’s happening.” Moonbin tries to say calmly enough for Seungkwan to understand.    
  
Seungkwan just groans as cramps run through his body. Moonbin lifts him up and carries him as they make their way to the taxi that Haknyeon called.

 

The four of them get into the taxi and head back to Seungkwan’s apartment. The driver almost asks a question, but Jungwoo cuts him off immediately, telling the driver to mind his own business.

 

“Jungwoo, do you think he’ll be okay?”   
  
“I haven’t mentioned this before, but I think I know what this is. The way that there was no preheat and it transitioned from heat to pain. It has to be that one drug, O4. It forces Omegas to have heats. It can stay in the blood for months and trigger heats spontaneously.”   
  
Haknyeon seems like he’s panicking. “Ok, hyung, that’s great, O4, but how do you know. Seungkwan doesn’t even seem conscious now.”   
  
Jungwoo looks at the others with a dark look in his eyes. “I went to a party in the beginning of the year, and I hooked up with this guy, this shady Alpha, and I got drugged. It was O4. It’s one of the worst date rape drugs.”

 

“Hyung… did you get… you know…”   
  
“Nyeonie, this is a conversation to have another time. We’re here, and we need to get Seungkwan in his room.”

 

Jungwoo helps hoist Seungkwan onto Moonbin’s back, as they make their way to the front door of his apartment. Jeonghan opens the door before they can even knock.    
  
“Come in, hurry. Is he okay? Did it just happen?” Jeonghan asks as he flanks Moonbin on the way to Seungkwan’s room. 

 

Jungwoo fills Jeonghan in. “I think it’s O4, it has to be. It doesn't make sense for his heat to hit now if it weren’t O4. But I think that he doesn’t realize how bad it is. I can smell fear but not the worry or concern. I think that Taewon used it on him before, enough that it doesn’t really surprise him.”   
  
“The doctor had told me and Seungcheol that this was a possibility, but we were both hoping it wouldn’t come to this. We’ve prepared though, so we should be able to make sure he’s okay. Thanks for making sure he gets home.”

 

Moonbin, Haknyeon, and Jungwoo watch as Seungcheol takes Seungkwan into his arms and into his room. 

 

Jeonghan thanks the three of them again before reassuring that he’ll have Seungkwan message them once he’s back in his right mind.

  
  
  



	11. CHAPTER ELEVEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan has a heat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a bit of a shorter chapter, but that's just how it's playing out.
> 
> Hopefully, I can update later today, because I really want to get further, I have a lot planned
> 
> Also I know it's not super detailed, but I felt it more important to have Seungkwan's perspective

Seungkwan finds that he’s laying in his bed now. 

 

_ He’s home…  _

 

_ He’s alone…  _

 

_ He’s safe…  _

 

He can smell so many things. 

 

A minty scent. Seungcheol hyung is in the living room. 

 

A cottony peachy scent. Someone else is also there. But he can’t quite remember who.

 

They both seem worried. 

 

_ He’s home… _

 

_ He’s not alone… _

 

_ He’s safe... _

 

There’s another scent. 

 

An Alpha. 

 

A strong and alluring woodsy scent.

 

The scent comes from an unmated Alpha.

 

_ He’s home…  _

 

_ He’s not alone… _

 

_ He’s not safe… _

 

Seungkwan can feel the usual fear building up in his chest. His body pulsates with heat and pain. He feels slick pool out of his body.

 

He can hear someone shifting, a door slamming, a shout.

 

_ He’s not alone… _

 

_ He’s not safe… _

 

He can smell the anger. The concern. The worry.

 

That’s not what he expected.

 

_ He’s not home… _

 

Seungkwan realizes that the worried scents aren’t the same as he remembers.

 

He can hear someone shouting, coming towards his room.

 

The door opens. 

 

_ He’s not alone… _

 

The scent of lavender and cedar erupts into the room. The Alpha it belongs to is angry. 

 

The Alpha is upset. The Alpha must be upset with him. 

  
There’s no other reason.

 

He had upset the Alpha.

 

_ He’s not safe… _

 

Seungkwan knows what he has to do.

 

He has to appease the Alpha.

 

The Alpha is already upset, but Seungkwan knows that he can only do his best now.

 

Seungkwan tries to roll over. He takes his sweater off. He takes his shirt off.

 

He hears a noise. He can’t make it out.

 

The Alpha is trying to tell him something.

 

He’s not sure what.

 

But he’s sure that if he removes his clothes faster, the Alpha will be pleased.

 

He starts to reach for his pants.

 

He unbuttons his pants.

 

He takes off his pants.

 

He can smell himself.

 

He smells like need. 

 

_ I smell pathetic… _

 

Seungkwan feels another wave of heat wash over him like fire. 

 

He can tell that the Alpha in his room can smell him. 

 

He can smell his lust.

 

But nothing is happening.

 

Seungkwan must not be presenting well enough. He’s once again disappointing the Alpha.

 

He hears the Alpha saying something.    
  
It almost sounds like his name. 

 

There’s never a good reason for the Alpha to address him by his real name.

 

Seungkwan does his best to roll over onto his stomach.

 

But his stomach and his chest hurt when he lays like this.

 

_ Why… _

 

Seungkwan can tell that the Alpha in the room is finally coming towards where he lies on the bed.

 

_ He’s not alone… _

 

This is his chance to prove that he’s worthwhile to keep.

 

He knows that if he doesn’t prove he’s worth the Alpha’s time, that he will hurt more.

 

It would be his fault for not being able to handle the heat.

 

He can feel the Alpha near the bed.

 

The Alpha kneels on the bed.

 

Seungkwan does his best to force his body into the proper Omega position. Face in the bed, arms bracing himself, on his knees, ass in the air.

 

Oh, he still needs to remove his underwear.

 

No wonder the Alpha is so upset.

 

Seungkwan starts to remove his underwear, when he feels a hand on his wrist.

 

_ He’s not safe… _

 

He allows his wrist to be grabbed, going limp.

 

He knows that whatever the Alpha wants, the Alpha gets.

 

He hopes the Alpha wants to give him relief.

 

But he doesn’t hold out his hope.

  
Because what had he done recently to deserve more than the current burn that rips through his body.

 

Nothing.

 

He can feel more slick leak from his body.

 

He’s sweating.

 

He’s burning.

 

Suddenly, there’s a cool feeling on his forehead.

 

A towel. Someone placed a damp towel on his forehead.

 

Momentarily, he feels relief. 

 

He can feel a hand run through his sweaty hair.

  
He can almost make out what the Alpha is saying.

 

Sounds like his name.

 

At least this Alpha knows his name.

 

But the Alpha still sounds angry.

 

He knows he has to act fast.

 

He goes to removes his underwear again.

 

But the hand stops him again. 

 

He can’t help but whine.

 

He know that he’s going to hurt, but sometimes the pain of the Alpha’s knot is still less painful than having to continue on with no relief.

 

He knows he needs the knot.

 

He doesn’t know why the Alpha hasn’t already gotten inside of him.

 

He can feel more slick leak out of his body, but it feels like it’s coming from deeper within his body that usual.

 

He can feel the usual burning in his lower body rise up to his chest. 

 

He hears another shout from the Alpha.

 

Suddenly, the Alpha is holding him.

 

Seungkwan can’t quite handle the shift into a sitting position and heaves.

 

He throws up everything he had eaten today.

 

He feels his body slowing down.

 

He can feel the shouts escalating.

 

He can sense that the other two in the apartment enter the room.

 

He can tell this isn’t what is supposed to happen when he tries to open his eyes and there is a fuzzy darkness at the edge of his vision.

 

He sees a familiar face.

 

A kind face.

 

_ But why does the nice face look so sad… _

 

_ Why won’t the Alpha with a nice face take care of me…  _

 

_ What did I do wrong…?  _

 

Then the darkness takes over…

 

~~~~~~

 

Hansol is panicking.

 

When he had heard Seungkwan arrive back at the apartment, he didn’t realize that he had fallen into a pseudo heat. 

 

He had left his room to find his hyungs panicking as well. They didn’t know what to do. They weren’t sure at what point they should take Seungkwan to the hospital.

 

Hansol had no clue either, but he wasn’t about to wait for Seungkwan to get into trouble to start taking care of him.

 

That’s how Hansol finds himself in Seungkwan’s room, on his bed, almost naked Seungkwan in his arms, passed out and bleeding from his backside and vomiting unconsciously.

 

He had brought a towel to try and cool him down as he tried to ignore the alluring scent that made him get a semi while the scent of sheer terror made him realize that Seungkwan’s mind linked heats with fear.

 

“Hyung, we need to get him to the hospital. I don’t think we have anytime.”   
  
Jeonghan rushes into the room, sensing the difference between the panic of an Omega in a sudden heat and the foreboding scent of death that is emanating from the pregnant Omega.

 

Hansol takes his sweatshirt off and shimmies it onto Seungkwan’s limp body. He wipes the vomit from his face. His entire body shaking and feels like it’s burning up. 

 

Seungcheol yells for him to bring him into the car.

 

Hansol carries Seungkwan’s limp body to the car, holding onto him as his body shivers. The potent scent of a terrified Omega sets them all on edge. 

 

Once at the hospital, the nurses in the ER need to argue for him to set down on the stretcher for him to be checked out by the doctor.

 

Only when he’s reminded that the doctor and nurses are the best people to help Seungkwan right now does Hansol feel convinced to set the older on the gurney in front of him.

 

Jeonghan and Seungcheol spent the last few minutes filling in the attending nurse on Seungkwan’s personal details, his pregnancy so far, and their suspicions as to why he had this pseudoheat. 

 

Hansol sits in the waiting room of the ER between Moonbin, Seokmin, and Soonyoung, who have all come to make sure Seungkwan is okay.

 

Moonbin let him know that Seungkwan’s sudden pseudo heat spurred on the onset of Jungwoo’s own heat and that he and Haknyeon made sure to take him back to his own apartment and let Lucas know. 

 

Hansol is practically vibrating in his nervousness and worry. All this urges he’d had to protect Seungkwan over the last month were peaking. He could tell he was making Moonbin nervous with the amount of Alpha pheromones radiating off of him. 

 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan return from where they had been at the front desk, checking for any updates. 

 

They both kneel before Hansol. In quiet voices, they scold him. 

 

“Sollie, I know that you care a lot about Seungkwan, but the way you ran into his room today when he was falling into his heat wasn’t appropriate.” Seungcheol frowns. 

 

Jeonghan continues. “You need to know how scared we were that you’d lose control and do something to him. But the way you were releasing your scent was so strong that it was actually paralyzing to me.”

 

“I know you and Seungkwan have some kind of connection, but it isn’t ever okay for an Alpha to barge in on an Omega in heat. It’s a violation of his rights. And he’s already spent so much of his time without any choice. What if you had done something without his consent. What if you acted like Taewon?”

 

Hansol can’t hold back the tears anymore. He feels so scared and small. He knows everything that his hyungs said. He understands that he shouldn’t have done that. 

 

But he could feel how scared Seungkwan was. Beyond the typical scent of an Omega entering heat, it was tainted with so much fear, it made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. 

 

“I get that. I get that. And I know it’ll be difficult to believe me,” Hansol grits out between sniffles as he tries to stop his tears. He shouldn’t be crying. Not after how he behaved. “But I didn’t run in there because I smelled heat. I ran in there because I could smell how afraid he was. I could tell he was scared and alone. I didn’t want him to feel alone. I don't know how Taewon treated his heats, but I can bet he wasn’t attentive. I bet he left him alone. Let him be scared. Let him hurt. And now here I am. Unable to help him or comfort him. Not making him feel any better. Letting him be scared. Now I’m just like Taewon.”

 

Hansol stops as he starts to sob. Moonbin wraps an arm over the hunched figure in the chair next to him. Jeonghan looks sad but Seungcheol still looks conflicted. 

 

“Sollie, I understand that you did what you thought would be best. But you’re going to have to apologize to Seungkwan when he comes out of this. And then the best thing would to discuss whether he would be okay with your presence if something like this happens again. But we’re hoping it won’t.”

 

Seungcheol sighs and pulls his brother into a hug. Hansol keeps mumbling apologies about how he fucked up and how he never wants to hurt Seungkwan and that he loves him. 

 

Seungcheol holds him tightly and tabs his back soothingly. He reassured him that they understand why he did what he did and they believe that he didn’t intend anything bad. They believe that he’ll be able to heal his relationship with Seungkwan. 

 

A doctor walks out of the double doors and asks to see Seungkwan’s family. Jeonghan, Seungcheol, Soonyoung, and Seokmin all rush up as they are all medical guardians. Meanwhile Moonbin holds onto Hansol's hand. 

 

The doctor brings them into the hallway. He begins to explain. 

 

“It was a good call to bring him in. Boo has a pseudoheat, triggered by trace amounts of Omega hormone mimicking drugs in his body. Normally, an Omega can just ride it out with an Alpha and proper nutrition while in heat. However, Boo’s case is very much complicated by his pregnancy and his relationship with Alphas. His pregnancy was already high risk due to multiple miscarriages. Though, through his therapist and our own questions, we’ve concluded that the miscarriages were not all caused by his own body or genetic malfunctions, having that many miscarriages by any cause will complicate attempts to carry a pregnancy to full term. 

 

“The way that the drug induced a heat is sudden and forceful. It skips the preheat period that allows an Omega’s body to build up a small supply of body fat to burn while in heat. Boo’s body fat percentage is extremely low and he only recently entered a safe weight zone, if he weren’t also nearly four months pregnant. Having such a sudden burn of what little fat he has can negatively affect the baby’s development as well as how his body prepares for milk production and delivery. As of now, we have him on a fluid drip to keep him at least hydrated. 

 

“The last major concern we have right now is how his past abuse is affecting his ability to handle his own heat. Frequently, abusive Alphas follow a similar pattern of behavior where they will refuse to touch their Omega in heat until the Omegas hits a breaking point. Referred to by some as a drop or a panic attack, it’s actually a heat-related panic syndrome. It’s characterized by the inability or refusal to take care of one’s heat alone, a paralyzing amount of fear that leaves the Omegas vulnerable to their Alpha, and the biological reaction of fear scent to the scentsation of heat.”

 

Once again, the four of them are here in a hospital, terrified for Seungkwan. Just when they had been hoping for Seungkwan to make progress in his recovery. 

 

Seokmin speaks up. “How will this affect his recovery from his previous relationship?”

 

“Likely it will set him back. But depending on how we handle it from here, it shouldn’t be a permanent setback.”

 

Seungcheol takes the lead here and asks about what the options for treating him are. 

 

“Usually, we are able to administer a sedative or an enzyme that breaks down the the hormone, but with his pregnancy, we will be unable to give him any medication like that. It would target his natural hormones as well and put his pregnancy in danger. 

 

“The other option is often to have an Alpha go through the pseudoheat with him. But that is much more difficult considering his late mate was abusive.”

 

“Wait…” Soonyoung starts slowly, “What if there is an Alpha that could go through it with him?”

 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan look at him like he’s crazy. They both know he’s talking about Hansol and they had just told him off for going to Seungkwan earlier. 

 

Before the two could protest, Soonyoung elaborates. “I’m not saying that he should go through it like he’s Seungkwan’s Alpha. But you know how sometimes really close friends would help each other through heat in a nonsexual way? Just having the scent of an Alpha he trusts could help him. And we know that he is strong enough to not do anything to him.”

 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan look to the doctor for his opinion. 

 

“Well, if the Alpha can control themself, then having the comfort of a familiar Alpha would be beneficial overall, and it would aid in maintaining his nutrition levels which is our main concern right now. It seems as if he’s also experiencing a mild form of withdrawal. Not from a substance but often abused Omegas will form stronger bonds to trusted Alphas in their life and his body is not tolerated separation in his crisis state. If this Alpha you mention is the same one with this bond, then it would be the best scenarios to have him join Boo for his heat. Can you get in contact with the Alpha so we can brief them and see if they would be willing to?”

 

“He’s here actually. Hansol. He’s in the waiting room “ Seokmin supplies. “He’s the one filling the room with pheromones.”

 

“Sounds accurate if the bond is reciprocal. Well, let’s talk to him and see.”

 

The doctor asks for Hansol to join them in the hallway, while Soonyoung and Seokmin pat him on the back and go to keep Moonbin company. 

 

“Is Seungkwan okay? I can tell he’s not. Why aren’t you helping him? I can feel that he’s in pain!”

 

“Please calm down, we are doing our best to help Boo and you may be able to help him as well. How do you feel right now?”

 

“Like I need to throw up…” And he truly does look a little pale. 

 

The doctor continues as Seungcheol and Jeonghan watch. “Hansol, you may be able to help Boo through this pseudoheat. Not as an Alpha, but as a friend. If you believe you are able to, you could spend his heat together, providing your scent and helping us make sure he eats. Do you think you could do that?”

 

“Why would that help him? I thought he was afraid of Alphas right now. When I held him earlier all I can remember is his fear.”

 

“We have reason to believe that Boo built a strong relationship with you. In cases where the body goes into crisis and particularly with victims of abuse, a sudden withdrawal from you only hurts him more. This is not something that happens everyday, only in cases like this where the body essentially goes into shock.”

 

“I’ll do it.” Hansol stands firmly as Seungcheol looks like he wants to argue. “I know I can. I would never do anything to hurt him. If I can help, I will do anything you need me to do.”

 

A nod from Seungcheol and the doctor leads Hansol deeper into the hospital. 

 

“We’re going to clean you up to did you of any outside scents. The purer your scent, the lore easily he’ll be able to distinguish you from threats. He may not be able to move his body much so you will need to hand feed him. Try to get him to eat every two or three hours. And while we recommend physical contact, we urge you to avoid anything sexual, especially if it hasn’t been discussed beforehand. And finally, we will provide you with some suppressants to avoid your rut being triggered although it seems like you have good control, as most unmated Alphas would have been triggered by now.”

 

Hansol nods as he heads into the bathroom. He can do this. He will do this. Because Seungkwan doesn’t deserve to feel this way. 

 

Seungkwan deserves nothing but love. 

 

~~~~~~~

 

Seungkwan doesn’t know where he is. 

 

There are people moving around him. 

 

There’s something attached to his arm. 

 

He can’t move. 

 

Why can’t he move?

 

_ He’s not at home…  _

 

_ He’s not alone…  _

 

_ He’s not safe… _

 

He can feel the slick pooling out of him. 

 

The fever is licking up his back. 

 

He tries to squirm around but he can’t control his body. 

 

He’s hard. 

 

Why is he hard when he really just wants to cry. 

 

His nipples ache. 

 

It feels bad. 

 

He throws up. 

 

His Alpha usually made sure he couldn’t focus on how much it hurt. 

 

Pain to distract him from the pain. 

 

Even if it wasn’t  _ his _ Alpha. 

 

He knew that he was too needy. 

 

His Alpha would make sure to bring plenty of friends to make sure he was satisfied. 

 

He never had this chance to feel how bad it hurt to just exist. 

 

Seungkwan would cry if he could. 

 

But he can’t tell. 

 

Maybe he was crying. 

 

He can smell fear. 

 

Maybe that was his own scent. 

 

Was he afraid?

 

Suddenly the room feels empty. 

 

He’s not sure. He can’t really see anything he’s looking at. 

 

He can tell someone is there though. 

 

He can smell the cedar and lavender. 

 

It smells sad.

 

It smells familiar. 

 

Seungkwan feels his heart beat faster. 

 

He needs the scent. 

 

He needs it closer. 

 

He tries to speak but he can’t form words. 

 

It come out only as a whine. 

 

There are steps. 

 

It’s an Alpha. He can just tell. And he’s coming closer. 

 

_ He’s not home… _

 

_ He’s not alone… _

 

_ He’s not safe… _

 

Seungkwan can feel something draw him towards the sound of the steps. 

 

He tries to reach a hand out, trying to make contact. 

 

But instead he feels a hand grip his wrist. 

 

The hand holds his arm to his side. 

 

But his wrist doesn’t burn the way it did when the other Alphas touched him. 

 

The Alpha climbs onto the bed he’s laying in. 

 

He doesn’t feel the fear he expects to flood his body. 

 

He can feel the Alpha wrap his arms around his body. 

 

He doesn’t feel his body tense up. 

 

Instead, he can feel his body relax. 

 

He hadn’t realized his body was already so tense. 

 

The Alpha feels warm. 

 

But not like the fire that’s burning through his body.

 

Warm like a soft blanket. 

 

A warm hand caresses his stomach. 

 

Why does it feel like he’s bloated?

 

Am I fat?

 

Is that why the Alpha isn’t pleased?

 

But this Alpha doesn’t seem angry. 

 

This Alpha is nice. 

 

Maybe this is the kind Alpha from before. 

 

Maybe this Alpha doesn’t want him in that way. 

 

He can hear the Alpha grumbling, a soothing sound. 

 

Seungkwan can't help it when a low hum comes from his own throat. 

 

His Alpha hated it when he’d purr or take comfort with nothing in return. 

 

But this Alpha seems different. 

 

This Alpha is holding him. 

 

He’s not naked. He’s not burning up anymore. He’s not being forced to take in Alpha after Alpha. 

 

He can breathe now. 

 

The pain in his groin is less of a fire and more of a warmth now. 

 

The fear he felt before wanes. 

 

_ He’s not home… _

 

_ He’s not alone… _

 

_ But he’s safe…  _

 

_ As long as this Alpha stays… _

 

_ … he’s safe.  _

 

~~~~~

 

Three days later, Hansol wakes up on the hospital bed and smells the air. The scent of heat he’d gotten used to over the last few days isn’t there. 

 

The night before he had noticed a fade in the strength of Seungkwan’s heat scent. 

 

His heat must be over. Hansol is a little relieved. He’s about to hit the button to call a nurse but then he notices how soundly Seungkwan is sleeping. 

 

The last few days were stressful to say the least. Even though he loves Seungkwan, he had never expected to spend his heat with him like this. But he’s glad that he could keep it from hurting him anymore. 

 

He had managed to get Seungkwan to eat and keep up his strength. Seungkwan stopped throwing up soon after he entered the room. He also seemed to relax after getting used to his scent. 

 

But the happiest moment was when Hansol hugged Seungkwan and the scent of fear dissipated rather quickly. He knows that Seungkwan probably couldn’t tell who he was, but the fact that his body recognized his scent made his heart swell. 

 

What had worried him most was the way he could feel his stomach harden periodically throughout the last few days. There’s were moments when his belly would feel rock hard. As if he were having contractions even though he’s not even four months pregnant. 

 

He looks down at Seungkwan sleeping in the bed. His hair is matted down on his forehead, cheeks red with the physical exertion of the last few days. Hansol figures he doesn’t look much better. 

 

He looks so peaceful and calm. A great change from the stressed expression he wore for most of the heat. Even if he was in less pain in his presence, the physical stress was still there. To see him sleeping calmly makes Hansol’s heart flutter. 

 

He decides to let Seungkwan sleep a little longer before he calls the nurse, so he settles back down and wraps his arms back around him, Seungkwan’s head settling on one arm while his other rests over his stomach. His belly is still firm but not as tense as it was before. He can feel the warmth radiating from the little life within him. 

 

Hansol nuzzles his face into the back of Seungkwan’s neck, getting as close to the source of his fresh tangerine scent as possible. 

 

He’s not sure how Seungkwan will feel or what he’ll remember when he wakes up, but if he was able to make the heat any less painful in anyway, then that’s enough for him. 

  
  



	12. CHAPTER TWELVE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hansol and Seungkwan deal after going through his heat together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to end my poll for the gender of Seungkwan's baby tomorrow probably, so please vote, even though it seems pretty obvious what y'all want  
> >>https://www.strawpoll.me/17955834
> 
> also I have a few chapters prepared ahead, so I'll probably be posting one a day for a while, especially because school just ended

Hansol didn’t expect that Seungkwan would start completely avoiding him. 

 

It makes sense. Hansol can’t imagine how he’d react if he woke up from his rut and saw Seungkwan there. He’d probably die.

 

But now, he hasn’t seen Seungkwan more than in passing in the two days it’s been since he was released form the hospital.

 

The most severe concerns of Seungkwan’s heat has been assuaged by Hansol’s help. Even though Seungkwan was losing fluid consistently throughout the heat, through slick and sweat, he had managed to get him to eat enough that he had barely lost a kilo, instead of several. 

 

The doctors had debated keeping him in the hospital longer, but being in a familiar environment would do more for his post heat recovery than a sterile hospital room, particularly because the recovery would be more mental than physical.

 

And Hansol knew how Seungkwan should be managing his post heat. He knows, from Jeonghan and from his own research, that after a heat, especially one this intense, an Omega needs physical contact to keep from becoming touch starved. And Seungkwan had always been a bit more on the tactile side. And they needed to eat and drink a lot to replenish what the body burned while in heat, as their metabolism goes through the roof, which isn’t normally an issue, unless they have a low body weight.

 

Somehow, the concern right now was him getting enough support rather than food. Even though he could hear and smell the distress every time Seungkwan threw up, which was happening more frequently than it had been for the last few weeks. Because every time he would put food at his door and knock, an hour later, the plates would be back outside his door, everything eaten. 

 

And Hansol wants to be able to be that support for him, but he’s scared that spending the heat with Seungkwan might have just made him fear him instead.

 

~~~~~~

 

Seungkwan is embarrassed. 

 

Hansol had seen him in heat.

 

He had gone through his heat with him.

 

He had woken up to feeling much better, but when it dawned on him that there was a hand on his stomach, he froze. Hansol stirred, seemingly awaken by the shift in his own scent. Sensing his distress, Hansol tried to say something, but a nurse had entered, cutting him off. They had to check some of his vitals and check that his cerclage stayed intact, so Hansol had to leave the room. 

 

And ever since he had left the room, Seungkwan hadn’t built up the courage to talk to Hansol again.

 

He would avoid using the bathroom at the same time or being in the living room, for fear that Hansol would try to talk to him. He didn’t go into the kitchen besides to grab some fruit or a snack.

 

Moonbin had visited him to let him know that everyone was worried, that Jungwoo was still in his heat with Lucas, that Hansol had been so worried in the waiting room that he had been spewing pheromones all over. Enough to make him uncomfortable. 

 

Seungkwan knew that Hansol had done it because he cares. But at the same time, he doesn’t remember what had happened. He might have begged him for sex, for a knot. He’s pretty certain that Hansol hadn’t touched him inappropriately at all, but the thought that he had begged for him to makes him feel too scared to even ask him about it.

 

Moonbin had stayed over for a few hours to cuddle. Jeonghan and Joshua had cuddled with him too.

 

But the itching feeling that was growing under his skin was something familiar.    
  
He was getting touch starved.

 

And that scared him.

 

Because he wasn’t feeling any better after time with fellow Omegas. This was a need for an Alpha.

 

No. It was Hansol.

 

He needed him.

 

And he knows that Hansol always tells him to just ask if he ever needed anything. He knows that if he asked, he wouldn’t be denied. Because when had Hansol ever denied him anything he needed or wanted. He often went beyond what he needed to make sure he was happy.

 

But for now, he couldn’t even imagine asking Hansol for more, after he had already asked so much.

 

He’s probably disgusted with him anyway, after how he acted while in heat. How needy he was. How sticky and wet he was. How desperate he was. 

 

He knows that Hansol is nothing like Taewon… or any of the other Alphas that took him while in heat. Hansol never took advantage of him. And he could have. They always did.

 

He wouldn’t blame him if he thought he was pathetic…

 

Because he was.

 

~~~~~~~

 

Joshua was just coming home from staying over Seokmin and Soonyoung’s place, when he can hear the sound of vomiting. 

 

He rushes into Seungkwan and Hansol’s shared bathroom to see Seungkwan heaving over the toilet. It reminds him of the many times earlier in his pregnancy that he’d have uncontrollable nausea.

 

But throwing up to this degree was supposed to be over, now that he’s a few weeks into his second trimester.

 

“Kwannie, are you okay? How long have you been vomiting?”   
  
Seungkwan holds up two fingers, unable to bring his head up long enough to speak.

 

“Two… hours?” Seungkwan nods. “Seungkwan, that’s not okay. I know you’re worried what Hansol thinks but right now I think you need him more than you realize.”   
  
Seungkwan manages to sit up, wiping his face with some toilet paper. He looks exhausted.

 

“How do you figure?” He croaks out, throat raw from throwing up.

 

“Well, you know that I’m with Seokmin and he’s a Beta. We’ve gone through heats together before. And it’s different with a Beta, because they don’t have the same pheromones or biology. But a lot of it is mental, so the fact that he means a lot ot me matters more in the heat of it than him being an Alpha, Beta, or even an Omega. But in postheat, he had always been worried that his Beta pheromones weren’t strong enough, not enough like an Alpha’s would be. But it matters more that it’s the right person than it be the “right” dynamic. And right now, you seem to being having symptoms of a bad postheat. I had this happen once, after my first heat I shared with Seokminnie. He was embarrassed and worried he hadn’t been enough for me, but by leaving, that’s when it was an actual problem. And right now, you need Hansol. I think you should talk to him.”   
  
Seungkwan’s eyes are already blotchy and red, as he starts to tear up. “Hyung, it hurts so bad. I’m hungry and thirsty. And I can’t even think because I have such a bad headache.”

 

Joshua gets off the ground and pulls Seungkwan into a standing position. “I’m going to help you get cleaned up right now, but after this I need you to talk to Hansol. He’s hurting too, you know, because he thinks he did something wrong and that’s why you’re avoiding him.”   
  
“No, he didn’t do anything wrong… It’s just me… Oh, I get it. This is one of your lessons. Thanks, Shua hyung.”   
  
Joshua smiles as he guides the other to the shower slowly. He gets Seungkwan undressed down to his underwear, asking if he’s okay with that, then heading into the warm water of the shower, sitting him on the stool. He undresses to his boxers and steps into the shower as well. He lathers and rinses his hair, scrubs the rest of his body, careful around his chest where he knows he’s probably a bit sensitive, and relaxes as he can tell that Seungkwan has been putting effort into eating all the meals they’ve been making him. He’s not quite at the weight he should be but his ribs and spine aren’t as visible as they had been a week or two ago, and the gradual weight gain is all they can ask for. 

 

He shuts off the water and wraps him in a fluffy towel. He dries himself off and pulls on some comfortable sweats. He helps Seungkwan into his sweats, settling them low on his hips, right below his bump. It’s bigger now, almost to the point where he’s clearly pregnant, even with clothes on. In the recent weeks, his stomach has just looked like bloating. He can tell that his stomach is going to pop soon and look properly pregnant.

 

He brings him back into his room and settles him on his bed. He grabs a roomy sweater for him to wear. 

 

Joshua heads to the door to leave. “Seungkwan, I’m pretty sure Hansol is home right now, so it would be a great time to talk to him. It’ll make you feel better too.” Then he leaves.

 

Seungkwan lays back on his bed. The comfort of being bathed by another Omega was nice enough to calm his nerves for a little, but he can feel the touch starvation lingering under his skin. He knows he can’t wait much longer before needing to confront the situation.

 

Maybe just after a nap.

 

~~~~~~~   
  


Hansol is watching the recent season of Brooklyn 99. He’s a few episodes behind and likes to keep up and it helps with maintain his English skills. He had done an exchange program in high school and studied in New York for a few months so his English was really great. By watching a lot of American TV and talking with Joshua hyung when he can, he keeps his English up to a functional level.

 

He saw Joshua hyung leaving Seungkwan’s room earlier. He had given him a look as if to say that he expected him to do something. He didn’t know what, though. And ever since, he’s been able to sense a calm from Seungkwan’s room, a nice change of pace form the light distress that had been coming from his room for the last few days.

 

He can hear Seungkwan’s door open, but he doesn’t move to look towards him. 

 

He can hear the other shuffle over to the kitchen. The fridge opens and shuts, and more footsteps back towards Seungkwan’s door.

 

But the door doesn’t open. Seungkwan heads towards the sofa. He sits on the opposite side of the couch. He can feel the nervousness radiating off of him. He knows that it must have been hard because it seems like Seungkwan retreated back to the mindset where he doesn’t know how to ask for help. Which makes sense after going through such an intense heat, probably reminding him of before when he couldn’t ask for help. Because there wasn’t anyone he could ask.

 

But now there were people around him who cared and wanted to help him.

 

So Hansol took Seungkwan coming to the living room as him taking the first step, and he wants to reward his courage by taking the next step himself.

 

“Kwannie…” Seungkwan turns to see Hansol holding his arms out, and Hansol can feel the flood of relief from him as he breaks into a smile and scoots into the space between his arms.

 

They get comfortable, Seungkwan curling up into his arms and leaning his head on his chest. They sit in silence as the shenanigans unfold onscreen, until Hansol feels something wet on his hand. For a moment, he thinks there’s something wrong, before he hears Seungkwan sniff.

 

He is about to ask if he’s okay, when Seungkwan speaks first.

 

“Can you understand what’s going on?”   
  
At first Hansol is confused. Then he realizes he’s referring to the show, which he has been watching without subtitles for the last ten minutes. He reaches for the remote to switch on Korean subtitles, and explains.    
  


“Well, so you know I speak English? I learned it a few years ago while I went to school in New York for a semester. And between talking to Joshua hyung and other friends and watching a lot of TV and movies in English, I’ve been maintaining it.”   
  
“And you understand everything they’re saying?” Seungkwan asks as he continues to focus on the television.

 

“Almost everything. Some jokes or expressions take me a little longer but from context, I can usually figure it out. Sometimes I just ask Shua hyung.”   
  
“Oh yeah, I forget hyung is from Los Angeles.”

 

A few more minutes pass as they just watch the show.

 

“I always wanted to learn English.”

 

“Then you should.”   
  
“It’s too hard.”   
  
“Do  _ you _ think that, or did Taewon think that?”

 

Seungkwan turns to slap him on the shoulder lightly. “Okay… Maybe… Taewon told me that I couldn’t learn English because I was too stupid. He had a lot of trouble learning it and I doubt I could if he couldn’t.”

 

“Well, I think you’re plenty smart and maybe it was Taewon who was stupid.” Hansol says, crossing his arms indignantly.

 

“Alright then, teach me something,” Seungkwan says with a fighting glint in his eye.

 

“Alright, let’s start off with beautiful.” 

 

And so Seungkwan asks what certain words are and Hansol supplies him with the English equivalent.

 

“In English, that would be ‘sorry’.”

 

“Okay, then, ‘I am sorry’. Did I say that right?”

 

“What,” Hansol turns to look at Seungkwan, who is now looking back at him. “If you’re trying to apologize for what happened the-”   
  


“No, Hansol, I need to apologize. I know that you didn’t do anything, and I need you to know that the reason I have been ignoring you is completely because I’m embarrassed.”   
  
Hansol stares back at him in shock. Seungkwan is completely serious.

  
“Kwannie, it’s not your fault. I want to apologize, because I went in your room when you were in heat. I didn’t ask, and I just went in there like I could. And no one is supposed to just join in an Omega’s heat because it’s not consensual. I thought you were avoiding me because I hurt you in some way.”   
  
Seungkwan and Hansol just stare at each other, until they break out into laughter. Seungkwan curls in closer to Hansol.

 

“Sollie, I’m sorry, but this time because I thought you’d be like Taewon. You’ve never been anything like him, but he was always just so disgusted by me during and after my heats that I assumed that all Alphas would feel that way about me.”   
  
“Why would you just assume that all Alphas would be disgusted by you? Don’t you see how media always portrays how in love Alphas are with their Omegas, especially during heat.”   
  
“...it’s because they always were. And they would tell me that too…”

 

Hansol pauses.  _ They?  _

 

“Who’s they? I thought you only were ever with Taewon?”   
  
“He was the only Alpha I ever dated, but… he wasn’t the only one I had sex with…”   
  
“Are you trying to say that during your heats, Taewon would let other Alphas…”

 

“Yeah,” Seungkwan breaks the eye contact. “I’m sorry… I know, I’m disgusting, I should go. You probably don’t want to be near me.”   
  
Seungkwan tries to stand to go back to his room, but Hansol doesn’t loosen his grip on him.

 

“Seungkwan, listen. This is going to sound harsh. I don’t think you’re disgusting. I don’t think I ever could. But what Taewon did to you, did he ask you if he could spend your heat with you?”   
  


“No, why would he need to… He was my Alpha, so he knew what was best…”

 

“Do you really believe that?”

 

Seungkwan is silent.

 

“Seungkwan, do you know what you smell like in heat?”

 

Seungkwan blushes, clearly uncomfortable talking about this.

 

“You smell like an Omega in heat, but even stronger than that, you smell like fear. As if your body is terrified the moment it can tell it’s going into heat. As if it’s anticipating something bad… I think you’ve been raped…”

 

“No, what? No, he was my Alpha, he could do what he wanted… That’s what he… always said…”

 

“Legally, an Alpha, even a mated one, has to have verbal permission from before the preheat starts in order for the heat sex to be considered consensual. And according to hyungs, the heat might start off painful, but with proper care from their partner, the heat is supposed to be enjoyable. The thing is, during a heat, and Omega is the most vulnerable. Easily taken advantage of by other people. No matter how long you’ve been with someone, you have to say yes every time.”

 

“So it’s not my fault that Taewon brought other Alphas… or that they’d hit me?”   
  
Hansol grits his teeth in anger. “Never. Taewon is considered a criminal for allowing other people to have sex or hit you while you were in heat. Did you never think that maybe you didn’t deserve it?” Hansol can feel himself start to cry. He always starts crying when it comes to Seungkwan.

 

“He told me that I was too needy, that I needed to be put into my place. That I was so desperate that it was hard to control me, that I was a slut for needing so many Alphas to satisfy me…”   
  


“Seungkwan… your heat scent wouldn’t be mixed with so much fear if you ever truly enjoyed how he treated you during a heat…”

 

“So… if I say no, he should stop?”   
  
“Exactly that.” Hansol’s glad to see that maybe, part of this idea of consent is making its way into Seungkwan’s understanding.

 

“But then… I shouldn’t… have my baby…” Seungkwan wraps his arms tightly over his stomach. “If he had stopped when I asked him to, then I wouldn’t have my baby… but I love it. But it shouldn’t exist…”   
  
Hansol wraps his own arms over Seungkwan’s. “You know, maybe the baby came from something bad, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be a good thing. It’s totally okay for you to come to see what Taewon did as bad, but still love the baby.”

 

Hansol pauses before adding, “Also, I know this is a lot to think about, but you’re not supposed to ha-”

 

“Heats while pregnant? Moonbin told me that much. And it makes sense, not to have a heat while you’re already having a baby. I guess I never questioned it, because Taewon always acted so worried. I can’t believe he would drug me into heats.”   
  
“I think you’re handling it all really well, though. I don’t know how I would handle all of this if I were in your place.”

 

Seungkwan shifts to turn and face Hansol in their embrace. Hansol can feel his breath on his collarbone.

 

He hopes he can’t hear his heart beating out of his chest.

 

“I think it helps being around you. Like I think I get what the doctors meant when they had you join me for my heat. I feel better around you. Like I can do things I thought I couldn’t.”

 

Hansol can see Seungkwan’s face screw up in discomfort. 

 

“Are you alright? Does something hurt?”

 

Seungkwan looks like he’s about to deny something, but he lets up. “It’s my back and stomach. I feel achy. Like I know my body is growing, but it just hurts more than usual right now.”

 

“What about I give you a massage?”

 

Seungkwan’s eyes light up. He shimmies to turn so Hansol can massage his back, but Hansol is suddenly up in the kitchen instead.

 

“Here,” Hansol says as he returns with a something in his hand. 

 

“Let me guess,” Seungkwan says as he inspect the fruit. “The baby is the size of an avocado now.”

 

“Yes,” Hansol say while sitting behind Seungkwan, placing his hands on his shoulders and starting to dig gently into the muscles. “The baby is the size of an avocado. And the pains you’re feeling are very typical, as your uterus stretches more than it has before. You mentioned that your chest was feeling more sensitive and that would be your mammary glands developing so you can provide milk for your baby. You might be more forgetful or your eyes might be itchy and dry. And you might have pregnancy glow, which I can confirm, you are glowing.”

 

“Stop it,” Seungkwan complains, but he groans as Hansol moves his hands down to his lower back.

 

“You’ll want to drink a lot of water, so you don’t get constipated. But on a different note, the baby’s eardrums are forming, so now they can start to hear if you talk to them. I think you should sing to them. Arguably the luckiest fetus in the world, to be able to have you sing them to sleep every night.”   
  
“Ha ha. Sure. But they can hear now? That’s really cool. Do you think they’ll recognize my voice?”

 

“With how loud you are? How could it not? Hey, watch it!”

 

Seungkwan smacks Hansol’s head lightly, before turning around and laying back down on the sofa. Hansol nestles behind him. He places his arm around him, resting his hand on his belly.

 

“Is this comfortable?”

 

“Perfect. But can we watch some Office?”

 

“Anything you want.” Hansol leans over Seungkwan’s body to reach the remote, switching shows with practiced ease.

 

As they settle in for the evening, Seungkwan asks one more thing before he lets himself be carried away to the hijinx of the episode.

 

“Are you busy tomorrow?”

 

“I might be hanging out with Mingyu hyung, but not until later in the day, why?”   
  
“I was wondering if you’d want to go to my 16 week appointment tomorrow… I’m having an ultrasound. I thought you might be interested in seeing the baby? But if you’re busy, you don’t have to.”

 

“I will be there. You couldn’t stop me from going now.”

 

For the rest of the afternoon and into the evening, Hansol and Seungkwan remain on the sofa, cuddling and laughing, as Seungkwan asks for various words in English. Hansol tells him and corrects him when he pronounces things wrong. 

 

Meanwhile Jeonghan and Seungcheol try to not interrupt how cute they are as they act like they aren’t having to handle so much more than any other 20 year olds they know.

 

~~~~~~

 

Seungcheol knows that he should have made sure that his brother and Seungkwan both went to bed in an actual bed, but at Joshua and Jeonghan’s urging, and then incessant photo taking.

 

But then they both woke up and started complaining about how their backs hurt, as they walked over to the kitchen counter and started to sleepily eat the breakfast Jeonghan had prepared for them.

 

Hansol can see Joshua, Seokmin, and Seungcheol trying to sneak up on them with some party decorations. But Hansol can see Seungkwan’s face scrunch up and he feels like he knows what’s about to happen. 

 

He reaches down to find the trash bin near the counter, just as the trio shout, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEUNGKWAN!” and Jeonghan tries to take a photo, Hansol shoves teh bin in Seungkwan’s hands as he vomits into it.

 

The four trying to surprise them look sad as Seungkwan throws up after something in their breakfast made him nauseous. 

 

“Eggs…” Seungkwan mumbles out.

 

“Is it the eggs?” Hansol grabs their plates, both omelettes, and places them in the other trash can under the sink.

 

“Sorry, hyung, no more omelettes for now.” 

 

“Sorry, Kwannie, I hope we didn’t scare you. But it’s your birthday!”   
  
“Thanks Hannie hyung, but I’m not really feeling that good. My stomach and back still hurt pretty bad. I think I’m just going to try and realign my back a bit before we head to the doctor’s.” Seungkwan got up from where he was hunched over the trash bin. He stretched his arms up, trying to stretch him back a bit, when he hears Jeonghan gasp.

 

“Kwannie! Look at you! I think your belly finally popped!”    
  
Clearly, that means something different to Jeonghan and Joshua than it does to Seungkwan, who immediately brings his hands down to his stomach in alarm.

 

“What do you mean? I popped? Wait, do you mean my belly is showing now. Oh my gosh, it feels so much larger than it did last night.”   
  
Seungkwan turns to the side and lifts his sweater up. And Jeonghan was right.

 

Seungkwan’s stomach had been growing steadily, but up to last night, it still just looked like a bloated stomach. Now, it was a round bump and stuck out inches further than it had before. Seungkwan places his hands on the bottom of his belly. 

 

“No matter I was aching so much last night. She really wanted to say hi for my birthday, huh?”

 

Hansol, for like the third time since the New Year, can feel his heart break at how precious Seungkwan is. And at how cute Seungkwan is while he glances down at his belly. 

 

“Kwannie, can I feel it, please?” Jeonghan begs, needlessly, as Seungkwan waves him over, his attitude taking a complete turn from being tired and achy from vomiting so soon after waking up.

 

“You, too, Joshua hyung.”   
  
Joshua and Jeonghan are quickly by his side and fawning over his bump.

 

Hansol looks over at his brother and he can tell that he’s itching to feel his bump as well. Some may say that Alphas are cold about any babies that aren’t their own, but that’s an old school of thought. Nowadays, with the way many close groups of friends form almost pack-like bonds, it was very likely for Alphas to care very much about babies that weren’t technically related, because the baby would be part of their larger community “family”.

 

“Alright, Alphas, don’t act like you’re too tough to care, I can tell you both want to feel. Come here.”   
  
Seungkwan continues to hold up his sweater as Seungcheol places his hand on the peak of his belly, oohing and aahing over how cute and little his belly is.

 

Hansol approaches, nervous the way he always feels when he is about to touch Seungkwan’s belly. It’s one thing to feel it over his sweater and shirts, but something about touching his actual skin makes it feel so much more intimate. To know that right past the skin, there is a little version of Seungkwan growing. Something about it almost made him upset, when he saw others touch his stomach. Or maybe he was jealous. 

 

He looks up and sees Seungcheol still hold his hand on Seungkwan’s belly.

 

Hansol feels his heart clench a little.

 

Yep, totally jealous.

  
That was going to be something to work on. 

 

But Hansol pushes that back as he brings his hand on his belly. It’s definitely larger than it had been last night, no wonder he needed that massage. But it looks like a regular pregnant belly now, round in the middle, definitely visible no matter what he wears over it.

 

“Okay, if you want to wash your face and rest for a little while, we have an hour until we need to leave for your appointment. Now, shoo shoo, I’m going to try to find something to make you so you have a snack for our way over.” Jeonghan pushes Seungkwan towards his bedroom. 

 

Hansol stands there watching as Seungkwan walks away.

 

Hansol realizes he’s staring at his butt. He lifts his eyes away to meet Seungcheol’s gaze.

 

“Hyung, help me. How do I deal?” He’s vague, but his brother always just gets what he’s talking about.

 

“Yeah, Sollie, you have no chill.”

 

Seungcheol bumps his shoulder as he passes.   
  
“You’re chasing an older man now.”   
  
“HYUNG!”

  
  



	13. CHAPTER THIRTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungkwan's birthday

Seungkwan naps on the way to the appointment, leaning on to Hansol as they sit in the back of the car. 

Seungcheol is driving, passenger seat empty because both Joshua and Jeonghan were “busy”. At least, that’s what they were telling Seungkwan.

Seungcheol speaks up once they get onto the road.

“So, baby Alpha, I heard from the ‘97 house that you’ve been having some issues. Some maybe kinda sorta related-to-Seungkwan type of problems?”

“Hyung, not with Seungkwan right here.” Hansol says hushedly.

“Okay, you say that, but we both know that Seungkwan is one of the most sound sleepers we’ve ever met.”

Seungcheol meets Hansol’s eyes through the rearview mirror.

“Alright. I don’t know how much they told you, but I’ve been having issues when I see Seungkwan… with other people… like when you touched his stomach earlier.”

“What were you thinking when I did?”

“I… wanted to rip your hand away from him. I wasn’t mad because I thought you would hurt him or anything, I’d never think you’d hurt him, but I think just something about you being an Alpha and touching his belly like that… just felt like I shouldn’t let you. Like I felt like I needed to do it to prove a point.” 

“What point?”

 

Hansol thinks hard, as he starts carding his fingers through Seungkwan soft hair.

“I think, I felt like I needed to prove myself… like show that I’m a… stronger Alpha…”

Hansol blushes as he imagines how immature he sounds. He sounds like a tweenage Alpha after presenting, unable to control his protective urges over his friends and family.

“Hmm…” Seungcheol just smirks, as he drives, one hand on the wheel, the other jerking his thumb towards his brother. “Sounds like you, my dearest brother, are going through that phase of courting where usually Alphas feel the need to present themselves as the best Alpha prospect to their target Omega.”

“Hyung, I don’t know what book you read, but you sound like a textbook.” Hansol deadpans.

“Okay, so maybe Jeonghan wanted me to work on my ability to articulate and Shua thought it would be a good idea to do some research. So maybe I did find this information on a website for first time parents guiding their children through puberty, but that doesn’t make it any less good. In my personal opinion, I think you like Seungkwan.”

A pause. 

“Am I right or am I right?”

“You’re right, hyung.”

“And I think your instincts are guiding you to want to show how you can be the best mate for him.”

“...”

“But it’s all complicated by the fact he’s pregnant. So the normal protectiveness that usually manifests in doing little things or bringing food, like I did with Jeonghan, is instead showing itself by being also extremely protective or even possessive with the baby as well.”

“Manifest? Wow, what a big word, hyung. Maybe you should have read those parenting websites earlier.”

“Okay, shut up when hyung is trying to give you some sound and fatherly advice.”

“For the last time, you and Jeonghan aren’t my parents. We literally have the same dad. You can’t be my dad.”

“Blasphemy, my young pupil. You cannot come to me for advice and then question my methods.”

“Alright, continue please.”

 

“...”

“Continue, please… dad…”

“Alright, here we go. First of all, I think that you’re doing a great job at helping Seungkwan come out of his shell, and really helping him become more comfortable and open. I think the fact that you care about the baby is good too. You know how many Alphas out there wouldn’t accept a baby that wasn’t theirs. I know you probably think it’s weird to not be accepting, but you were raised by a very accepting family and a lot of our friends are the same way. I mean, your mom is from America, so you already have a bit of a different perspective.”

“Alright, I see what you mean.”

“But one thing is, that one of the reasons you have these feelings is because you don’t believe in yourself. Because you don’t think you have a chance, you’re instincts are telling you to show off or prove yourself. But you don’t need to. As long as you’re not planning on forcing yourself onto Seungkwan, which I can’t imagine you’re planning to do, there’s not another Alpha vying for his attention. Just be you. Unless you also don’t see how Seungkwan cares for you.”

“You think Seungkwan likes me?”

“I haven’t really talked to Seungkwan about his feelings or anything, but from the way I’ve see him look at you, he just might like you. Think about it, he cuddles with you, he spends a lot of his time with you, he cares so much about how you think about him that he was so worried after his heat that you would think differently about him.

“But one thing I will say, is worry less about showing your Alpha side. You might be farther along in your feelings than he is, but if he likes you, he will catch up to you eventually. But how would you feel if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings?”

Hansol was asked this before, when he was decorating for the New Year’s party, and his answer hasn’t changed.

“I wouldn't mind. My main concern has been that Seungkwan recovers fully and finds the best place for himself in the world. I just want him to be happy. If I make him happy, I will always be there for him, friend or otherwise. I just want to be someone he can rely on. The only thing that would really break my heart would be if he didn’t want me in his life at all.”

“Well, my boy, I feel like you’re on the right track. As long as you don’t let your instincts overcome your common sense, then you shouldn’t have to worry about scaring him away or anything. I’d say more, but we’re pulling into the parking lot, so wake up Kwannie. It’s ultrasound time!”

~~~~~

Seungkwan is woken up as they enter the parking lot for his OB/GYN. He feels a little groggy and doesn’t really want to get up from Hansol’s comfy lap. He can feel the car park, so he sits up with a little difficulty. 

Hansol gives him a little push to get him upright. He pulls his sweater a little further over his hands as he gets out of the car. The weather is freezing right now in Seoul. He should’ve brought a jacket. But he’s barely paying attention to that when Hansol grabs his hand like it’s natural to him. 

Seungkwan blushes. But he can blame that on the cold weather. 

They make their way inside. Seungkwan can feel his nerves building. He knows he had a checkup recently after his heat, but he wasn’t able to see his baby then. And it’s always reassuring to see that everything is developing well. 

They wait for a few minutes in the lobby. 

“Are you excited to have another ultrasound today?” Hansol asks while still holding onto his hand. 

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see her. Last time, looked more like a little alien than a baby. So I’m excited.”

Seungkwan rests his eyes as he slumps against Hansol’s shoulder. 

They get called back by a nurse. They stop in the hallway to check his weight. He tries to avoid looking because even though he knows he’s getting better at eating properly and eating enough, seeing a number makes it too easy for his mind to make comparisons. 

The nurse smiles at him though, so he’s pretty sure he’s been doing well. They get to the room and he struggles to get onto the examination table, so Hansol gives him a boost up. 

Dr. Lim enters. “Hello, Seungkwan, so how are you feeling today?”

“Good. Tired. Really tired actually. I haven’t been able to stay awake since I woke up earlier.”

“That sounds typical. Most first time mothers experience exhaustion for a while. Hopefully it fades a bit until later on in the third trimester. I can see by your numbers here that you have gained several pounds since the first time we met, so I’d say that you’re almost exactly where we want you. Now that you’re in the second trimester, we want should have you gaining a little more than a pound a week. That might sound like a lot, but remember that it’s all to keep you well enough to provide your baby the best environment to grow in. I’m glad that the heat didn’t set back too much of your progress. Do you have any lasting concerns since then?”

Seungkwan shakes his head. 

“Alright. So 16th week. Are you interested in doing the urine test? It’ll check for genetic abnormalities. That way you can know if there is anything to prepare for ahead of time.”

Seungkwan looks towards Seungcheol who nods his head. Seungkwan agrees to do one. 

“Alright, I’ll have you take this, and you can head to the bathroom down the hall. Just pee inside and cap it. You can put it in this bag and come back when you’re done.”

“Sounds good. I’ll be right back.” Seungkwan tries to shimmy off the table and Hansol rushes to help him down, grabbing his waist to ease his way down. 

Seungkwan leaves through the door, and the doctor asks if there’s any concerns that Seungcheol has about Seungkwan. 

“Well, I was wondering if there was a chance that he triggers another pseudoheat. We’re more prepared now that we know Hansol can help him through it, but we’d prefer avoiding it if possible.”

“The heat hormones are simply imitation so they should have been broken down in the pseudoheat. Usually they’d be stored in the body fat, but Seungkwan’s body fat is quite low still so we shouldn’t have any reason to worry about enough to be stored to trigger a heat again. But we can also draw some blood to confirm that the concentration of O4 in his blood is below the level for concern.”

“Thank you doctor.”

“Well, any other questions or details that we might not know. I know there’s a lot we don’t know without medical history for the baby’s father, but any details help.”

Hansol decides to share what Seungkwan had told him. 

“Seungkwan told me this last night, but there’s a chance that Taewon isn’t the baby’s father. It sounded like beyond drugging him into heat, he would have other Alphas also… um, rape him during the heat. I think that’s one of the reasons he releases such a strong scent of fear when he’s in heat.”

“Alright, that’s very serious, so we will make sure to look into that further. We could do a paternity test if we manage to track down Taewon’s friends or whoever these Alphas are. But only with Seungkwan’s permission. We will look into it.” 

Seungkwan returns to the room, bag with the pee cup in hand. He hands it to the doctor. 

“Alright, with that done, we can head to the ultrasound room. Right this way.” They follow the doctor the familiar path down the hallway. Familiar for all but Hansol who has yet to go to one of Seungkwan’s ultrasounds. 

“Another thing, Seungkwan, is that you’ll probably get your knee checked out soon as it should probably be ready to take the cast off in the next few weeks. Then we’ll get you started on some physical therapy to make sure your leg strengthens up well. You’re going to need it if you’ll be chasing around a little baby.”

Seungkwan places the hand not grasping Hansol's on his belly, smiling down at the prospect. 

They arrive in the little room and Hansol once again helps Seungkwan onto the examination table, hoisting him up with his hands on his waist and Seungkwan's hands bracing themselves on his shoulders. 

Seungkwan lays back into the table and lifts up his sweater and undershirt. 

“Alright, you know the drill. Just pull your pants down below your belly a little and let me turn off the lights.”

The lights shut off and the fuzzy screen of the monitor lights up the room. 

“You know what’s next. The gel is going to be a bit cold.” The doctor squeezes some blue gel onto his stomach. “I can see that your belly finally popped recently.” The doctor starts to move the wand over his lower belly. 

Seungkwan beans even in the dim room. “Yep. It happened just today. I swear yesterday when I fell asleep, I couldn’t quite cup underneath it the way I can now.”

“Well, here we go. Here is baby.”

On the screen, a very clear outline of a baby appears. 

Hansol is sitting closer to Seungkwan’s head so he reaches out to place his hand on his shoulder and Seungkwan reaches to place his hand over his and squeezes. Hansol squeezes back. 

“You can see baby move around a little. Flexing its little fingers and toes. It’ll still be a few weeks until you can feel anything but it’ll probably start soon. And the baby can hear now. So it wouldn’t be too bad of an idea to try talking to them. It helps bond you two and when they start moving, you’ll be able to feel them move in response to your voice.”

Seungkwan has tears in his eyes. Thinking about feeling his baby move makes him more emotional than he expected. 

“What about the gender? I heard that usually you can tell at 16 weeks.” Seungkwan asks eagerly. 

Hansol perks up. Personally, he had a preference for Seungkwan’s baby, but he doesn’t want to influence Seungkwan’s own hopes or add any expectations into the unborn child. 

The doctor moves the wand around his stomach a little, frowning. “Unfortunately, baby Boo is not cooperating right now and is covering up their bottom. We can’t see the genitals right now. But we’ll definitely be able to see it at your five month ultrasound. Now, ready for the heartbeat?”

Seungkwan and Seungcheol nod, while Hansol can’t even breathe. He can’t take his eyes off of the monitor so he’s taken by surprise when he hears a fast whooshing noise permeate the room. 

“That would be the baby’s heartbeat. Sounds fast because it’s small right now. As it grows, the rate will slow down. But it sounds very healthy. If you want, we can send you a recording of it. And how many photos do you want of the baby?”

“Yes, I’d love a recording. And probably three, if you both want one?”

Both Alphas nod. Hansol blushes. But he knows that he’ll treasure the first photo he has of baby Boo. The doctor only said it once, but the words are stuck in his mind. 

The doctor grabs the print outs of the ultrasound and hands them to Seungkwan and proceeds to wipe off the gel. 

Seungkwan covers his stomach up and Hansol helps his sit up and get off the table. 

“Alright Seungkwan, it was great to see you today. You’re doing great, even if you feel lousy. Just keep it up and work on increasing your meal portions a little. Every bit helps and focus on at least one pound a week. Treat yourself a little more. You’re doing hard work. See you next month!”

They leave the doctor’s office. As they head across the parking lot, Seungcheol hands two of the photos to Seungkwan and Hansol and mentions offhand that they need to stop by Soonyoung’s place to grab something he left there the other day. Seungkwan barely notices when he nods his head, because he’s too busy trying to ignore the warmth of Hansol’s hand in his and focus instead on how cute his baby is. 

They settle back in the car when Hansol points out a spot on the image. 

“Look, baby Boo has your nose. I swear. This baby is going to come out with your nose exactly.”

Seungkwan smiles as he settles his head back in Hansol’s lap for the ride home. Indulgently, he hopes to dream of Hansol holding his baby with his own nose. 

~~~~~~

Seungkwan is woken up by Hansol shaking his shoulder, but he doesn’t want to get up right now. He hasn’t been this exhausted in his life. He holds his arms arm.

“Can you just… carry me?” He whines, reluctant to even open his eyes.

“Sure, Kwannie,” Hansol says softly, before getting out of the car. The other car door opens and he can feel Hansol pull him up by his shoulders. Seungkwan sleepily slings his arms around his shoulders. Hansol lifts under his knees and behinds his back, carrying him carefully to the door.

Seungcheol jogs ahead to knock quietly on the door. He opens it and slips inside.

Hansol waits a few moments outside the door, and uses the moments to study Seungkwan’s sleeping face. It’s early afternoon now, and the sun is starting to set already. The golden light on his face made his eyelashes look so long. His skin is glowing and his lips are plump and look so soft. His face looks fuller than it had when he first met him, and the fuller cheeks suit him so much more than the hollow look he once had. Hansol knows that he’d do anything to keep him looking so peaceful and healthy.

He knows it’s time to enter the apartment, but he takes the chance and places a quick peck on the top of Seungkwan’s head, before softly asking Seungkwan to wake up.

“Alright, I’m up…” Seungkwan says grouchily. He opens his eyes as Hansol knocks on the door with his foot.

Seungkwan looks confused. “Wait, where are we… Wait, is this Minnie hyung and Soonie hyung’s apartm-”

The door flies open and for the second time that day, Seungkwan gets surprised.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SEUNGKWAN!”

All of his friends are there, wearing party hats and blowing on kazoos and other noise makers.

Seungkwan can’t believe that his friends would all make time to get together again. He can feel himself about to cry again. 

Soonyoung and Seokmin make people move out of the way so Hansol can maneuver into the apartment to set him down.

“Kwannie, this is the first time you’ve been to our apartment since we moved in, isn’t it?” Seokmin yells as Soonyoung starts to release all the balloons that were stashed away in his room.

Seungkwan thinks about it. He remembers hearing about them planning to move in when he had graduated from high school. But then he hadn’t been able to actually visit because of Taewon, so this was actually the first time he stepped foot into his best friends’ apartment.

“Yeah, it’s so nice, hyung. Thanks for all of this.”

“Don’t thank us,” Soonyoung chimes in. “We weren’t sure if you wanted to do anything for your birthday because you hadn’t mentioned anything. We let it slip that it was going to be your birthday soon, and Jihoonie was like of course we need to do something for your birthday. He’ll lie and say he doesn’t really care, but he cares about you a lot.”

“Soonyoung, stop telling lies!” Jihoon yells from across the room, where he and Chan are making juice mocktails in fancy glasses.

“See, a total tsundere.” Soonyoung looks proud that his point was proven.

“Well, thanks Jihoon hyung! And thanks both of you. I’m sure it was such a hassle to get everyone together again so soon after New Years. I’m sure everyone is really busy.”

“Nah,” Wonpil walks over, Dowoon once again carrying a paper plate full of kimbap and pretzels. “We love any reason to get together. Once we graduated, it became more difficult to see everyone, especially with Dowoonie so busy with medical school.” He slings his arm over the younger’s shoulders. “I can’t make it to all the sleepovers either, so I’m glad to see everyone so much!” 

Dowoon picks up a piece of kimbap and holds it up for Wonpil to eat. Wonpil pouts and playfully almost bites his fingers.

“Ah, hyung. Gross.” He whines before leaving to go find someone else to talk to. 

Seungkwan continues to linger around and talk to others, while Hansol finds himself once again talking to Mingyu.

“So did you get anything for Seungkwan?”

“Hyung… I couldn’t think of anything. I don’t just want to get him something that doesn’t mean anything… But I don’t know what to do. Like, what’s too much, what’s lacking? Should I get him something like a friend or like… I don’t even know what I am.”

 

Hansol feels bad that he didn’t get anything for Seungkwan. He feels Mingyu’s hand on his shoulder and looks up at the tller Alpha.

“Don’t worry about it. None of us really knew until recently. Plus, I know you won’t say anything, but I know that you were low key behind all of this.”

Hansol looks like he was caught red-handed when Wonwoo joins them, grabbing another drink from the table.

“Yeah, I remember when we got brunch the other day, and you were wondering what his zodiac sign was, and Soonyoung and Seokmin mentioned his birthday was today, and your eyes bugged out of your head. Then you casually asked if maybe we should do something for his birthday, and then-”

“Alright hyung, I get it, I get it, no need to recount every single moment. But I still want to do something special. He deserves something special.”

“I’m sure that you’ll think of something. But don’t think too hard, you’ll hurt yourself, baby Alpha.” Wonwoo ruffles his hair as he heads to be broody with Jihoon in the corner.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Seungkwan is talking with Jungwoo and Haknyeon.

“Hyung, you’re okay right? I haven’t seen you since your heat hit you! It was so scary.”

“Nyeonie, I’m sure he doesn’t want to talk about that. It’s too personal to ask about like this.”

“It’s fine, you were both there, so who else would I talk about it with. It wasn’t supposed to happen, but Taewon used to drug me into heats, so there was still some of the drug left in my blood apparently.”

Both Haknyeon and Jungwoo look so upset.

“Hyung, that’s so bad. I know that you said he hit you, but this is even worse. That’s not okay at all, why aren’t you more mad?”

“Honestly, I think the only reason I haven’t been worried about it is because I know that he’s gone. I didn’t need to do anything to get him out of my life. It just happened. Like the world saw what he was doing was bad before I did. I don’t know if I would’ve ever done anything about it myself. It’s only with you and all my friends that I’ve come to see how much better life can ba, and for that I will always be grateful to you.”

Haknyeon’s whole face is turning red, embarrassed to be thanked by Seungkwan, while Jungwoo just looks him up and down.

“That’s great and I’m flattered, but I also heard that your heat wasn’t super lonely.” He prods Seungkwan’s side with his elbow.

Seungkwan blanches, not wanting to talk about that part of his heat with them, not yet, or at least not here.

“Shhh. I’ll tell you more later, at the sleepover. But maybe, I didn’t go through it alone, but for medical reasons. It would’ve been dangerous to go through it alone.”

“Alright, Kwannie, I get that. But still, who was it?”

Seungkwan’s eyes wander towards where Hansol is standing in the kitchen, talking to Wonwoo and Mingyu, before he can stop himself.

“Oh, gotcha, alright.” Jungwoo says facetiously. “I’ll wait for the details later.”

“Okay, but to casually change the subject, I had my 16 week ultrasound today. And you know what that means.”

Both Jungwoo and Haknyeon’s faces light up.

“Pictures!” Haknyeon cries, hands holding his face in excitement.

“Yeah, hold on,” Seungkwan turns again to catch Seungcheol or Hansol’s attention. As usual, Hansol is immediately at the ready for anything that he needs. Seungkwan mouths ‘photos’ and mimics the ultrasound motion with his hand on his stomach, and Hansol nods before heading outside to grab the photos from the car.

“Wait, Kwannie, and don’t take this the wrong way, but you look… bigger.” Jimin says as he wanders over to the three Omegas.

“Oh, you’re right actually. I fell asleep yesterday still looking just bloated, but now, according to Jeonghan hyung, I’ve popped I guess. But I definitely look more pregnant now.”

“You do!” Jimin squeals, “Can I touch?”

Seungkwan lets the three other Omegas touch his belly, knowing that they had been itching to ask. Jimin looks so happy.

“Jimin hyung, you really want to have your own, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I just don’t know how to bring it up to Kookie. He’s still a baby, you know? Like I’d almost say that Sollie is more mature than he is. He’s the youngest in our little group, like me, Joonie hyung, and some other friends, that I think you should meet once they’re back in Seoul.

“Honestly, I think Jungkook hyung would do anything you asked. I think he’d be over the moon to have a baby with you. He’d do anything for you.”

Jimin smiles to himself. “Yeah, I don’t want to brag or anything, but Kookie is whipped for me.”

“He really is, isn’t he?” Jungwoo says dreamily.

Jimin glances over to find that Jungkook is already staring at him. Jimin smiles back at him and Jungkook blushes and slips from where he’s leaning on his elbow on the counter. 

“That’s so cute, hyung. I hope I can have a relationship like yours one day.” Haknyeon whines as he notices how Jungkook flushes with embarrassment at being caught staring at his boyfriend.

“Nyeonie, don’t worry, I think I know a certain Alpha that might be a bit infatuated with you.”

The three other Omegas glance over at Sunwoo, who has been talking to Namjoon and a friend that he brought with him to the party. 

“Stop it, hyung, honestly I can’t imagine he thinks of me as any more than a friend.”

Haknyeon covers his face with his hands in embarrassment. He decides to change the subject. 

“Hyung, I heard you’re from Jeju?”

“Oh yeah, someone mentioned you’re also from Jeju. But I moved to Hong Kong when I was young. I haven’t been back since I was 8.” Haknyeon says juvially.

“I’ve been living in Seoul for such a long time now that sometimes I forget I’m not from here.” Seungkwan looks up to see Hansol making his way back to them, photos in hand. “I left Jeju when I was 12, for middle school and I haven’t actually been back since.”

Seungkwan’s face falls, and Haknyeon quickly tries to bring the conversation around. 

“I mean, I’m sure your parents understand. You’ve been really busy and I’m sure they are happy that you’re doing well now, right?”

Seungkwan frowns. “I haven’t actually talked to my mom in months. Taewon didn’t really let me contact my family much. He called me weak for wanting to depend on them.”

Before Seungkwan can dwell on it much longer, Hansol reaches them and presents the photos proudly, as if he had a personal stake in the development of Seungkwan’s baby. 

“Here they are.” He holds the images out in front of him and Jungwoo and Jimin grab for them, while Haknyeon rubs Seungkwan’s back. 

They coo over the images of Seungkwan's baby, all their motherly instincts jumping out. 

“My ovaries are exploding. I need a baby like right now.” Jimin exclaims. He glances towards Jungkook who is talking in the kitchen with Soonyoung and Taehyung. 

“Just tell Jungkook that. I’m sure he’ll put a baby in you ASAP.” Jungwoo comments. 

“Wait, Woo, I remember, I set off your heat. How was that? Did it go well with Lucas?” Seungkwan asks. 

“Okay, I know I probably should share, but I’ll pull what you just did and wait until our sleepover, so I don’t have to go through the embarrassment too many times. But, I will say that Lucas really knows how to use those hands.”

The three other Omegas cheer at that, clinking their glasses together. They drink to Lucas’ hands before settling in for more gossip and cooing over Seungkwan and his baby.


	14. CHAPTER FOURTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sleepover number two ft. Wonpil back story
> 
> Please check the end notes for a trigger warning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, please check the end notes for the trigger warning, I didn't want to put it here so that no one would get spoiled if they didn't want to, but do look if you need to
> 
> But I hope you enjoy the story, please leave comments with your thoughts, I try to respond to most comments <3

Hansol helps Seungkwan pack his stuff for another Omegas’ Night. It’s been over a week since Seungkwan’s birthday and they had planned their next sleepover that evening. 

 

Hansol doesn’t feel as stressed about dropping Seungkwan off at Jihoon and Sanha’s for the sleepover. Chan is, in turn, staying over with him for the night and their other roommate, also a Chan, will spend the night at his friend’s place.

 

Hansol helps him to the car and loads his bag into the backseat and drives Seungkwan over. Sanha and Jihoon’s apartment isn’t super far because Jeonghan didn’t trust Sanha too far from his sight.

 

Hansol had been doing his best to suppress the urges to be stereotypically Alpha-like. And honestly, it helped a lot to focus less on his own behavior being Alpha enough and to see how Seungkwan responded to him just being himself. And Hansol is shocked to realize how much he might have been missing, and feeling more confident about his place in Seungkwan’s heart, even as a friend, did everything for his nervousness. 

 

Does that stop him from putting extra effort in when it came to Seungkwan? Never.

 

So that’s why Seungkwan is shocked and flustered when Jisung pulls an onion out of his own bag. He follows that by mentioning he can smell something else. He digs around in Seungkwan’s bag until he pulls a pomegranate out as well.

 

“Hyung, how did you even know they were there?” Jeongin asks in wonder, his eyes wide as he often spends his time admiring his hyungs.

 

“I mean, I guess, maybe you could smell Hansol on them?” Seungkwan says in disbelief, taking the pomegranate and trying to see if maybe the Alpha’s scent lingered any.

 

“Well, let me guess, at 17 weeks, the baby is the size of a pomegranate,” Felix grabs the onion from Jisung, “or an onion? If anything, hyung idi a good job at getting an onion that was the same size as this pomegranate.”

 

Seungkwan holds the pomegranate next to his belly. “I guess it would explain why my back has been hurting so much recently.”

 

Seungkwan sits down in the armchair, sitting on the ground not doing anything to help his back. “And not to complain or make this night all about me, but my boobs hurt so much too. I’m actually getting boobs.” He exclaims as he dramatically places his hands over his chest, causing the others to laugh.

 

Very quickly all the Omegas get comfortable and settle down to start spilling tea, complaining about Alphas and Betas, and have deep talk.

 

Wonwoo wasn’t able to make it because they spend Mingyu’s heats together, which means that the ‘97ers’ heats were in full swing.    
  
Mingyu, Jungkook, and Dongmin spent enough time together that their ruts had started to sync up. It’s a common misconception that only Omegas’ heats can sync up, but with Alphas’ ruts, they would sync up to start when another’s ends, as a ancestral vestigial reaction to wanting to prevent all Alphas from going into rut at once and leaving none to protect their packs.

 

But now, Jungkook usually would have his rut hit, and by the time his rut was letting up, Mingyu would be itching and ready to give into his rut. Dongmin’s rut always hit last. Which is why Moonbin is currently complaining.

 

“Hyung, you’re so lucky that Jungkook hyung loves having you go through his ruts together. And Wonwoo hyung, too. Meanwhile, Dongmin hyung just locks me out of his room.”   
  
Moonbin flops onto the ground, exhausted after having an argument with Dongmin before he had left for the sleepover. 

 

“And it’s my birthday too, on the day that it’s supposed to hit. And I know that’s a low blow, because I know his issues with going through his rut, but I still think it’s a bit patronizing that he thinks he’d hurt me. I’m not exactly a tiny Omega, like Jihoon hyung. No offence, hyung.”   
  
“Hm…” Jihoon grunts, accepting that he is the token small Omega example in the group. “And even then, Soonyoung still fucks me like he wants to break me.” The smaller Omega laughs as Moonbin sticks out his tongue.

 

“Whatever. I just want him to understand that he won’t break me, and that I can want to help him out just like he always helps me out. But enough of that for now, I will get through to him eventually, I swear. But something Dongminnie hyung did tell me is that a certain dongsaeng of his couldn’t stop ranting about a certain Omega.”

 

Given Dongmin’s only brother was Minho and Moonbin was not-so-subtly pointing straight at Jisung, no one misunderstood.   
  
“Hyung, aish.” Jisung turns bright red, embarrassed to be called out.

 

“That’s right, Sungie, I remember you making out with Minho during the New Year’s party. You two were really going for it.” Jungwoo teases, and Jisung tries to hide behind Felix and Jeongin.

 

Haechan doesn’t let him get away with ignoring it, though, and he pulls him from behind the others. “So tell us, what happened after the party. I know you all said you were going home, but I don’t buy it.”

 

They wait for a moment in silence, Jisung refusing to say anything, when Jimin breaks the silence.   
  
“They totally fucked.”   
  
“Hyung!” Jisung’s mouth drops open in shock, that his own apartmentmate would break the secret bond of roommates. But the instinct to reveal all their secrets during Omegas’ Night was too powerful.

 

The rest of the room cries out. 

 

“Sungie, why didn’t you tell me?” Felix yells dramatically, while Jeongin looks confused.

 

Jungwoo and Joshua high five as Haechan and Jeonghan try to inconspicuously slip some bills to the first two.

 

Wonpil, Hyungwon, and Seokjin chuckle to themselves as if their slightly older age gives them any hindsight on the situation.

 

Sanha tries to pry more information out of Jisung by tackling and laying on top of him, while Jeongin pipes up.

 

“Hyung, what did he do?”

 

Jungwoo looks over at Jeongin before slowly shifting his glance to Felix, who’s paled. 

 

Sanha clarifies, “Jisung and Minho fucked after the party!” He continues to flop on top of Jisung, while Jeongin continues to look puzzled. 

 

“‘Fucked’? I thought that was a bad word… Hyung, Chan hyung told me not to say it.”

 

“Oh shit….” Jisung shoves Sanha off of him and runs over to cover Jeongin’s ears. “Innie doesn’t know what sex is. His parents wouldn’t let him go through sex ed in first year.” He gets this out quickly while Jeongin tries to bat away Jisung’s hands. 

 

“Hyung, stop being so annoying. What did hyungs do?”

 

Jungwoo and Joshua stare at each other in horror. Jeonghan starts off slowly. 

 

“They hung out all night and kissed. Because they like each other. Because that’s what you do when you like someone, right, Sungie?” Jeonghan finishes with a smirk, knowing that with Jeongin here, Jisung can’t avoid acknowledging this. 

 

“Yes,” Jisung replies through gritted teeth. “We hung out and kissed, you’re right, hyung.”

 

“Oh, okay,” Jeongin says with a smile, flashing his braces. “I think… maybe I would want to fuck with Hyunjin, don’t tell him, please.” He says this so innocently that not even Sanha or Haechan can laugh at him. 

 

“No, of course, Innie. We won’t tell him ever.” Felix says in a grave voice. “Cross my heart and swear to die.”

 

“Thanks hyung!” Jeongin says with a smile, settling back to relax and allow the topic to change. 

 

There’s silence for a moment, everyone else thinking about who is the sad sap that will soon have to explain sex to their baby Omega. 

 

“I guess now isn’t a good time to ask Jungwoo hyung about his heat with Lucas?” Haknyeon says and immediately gets pillows thrown at him from Jeonghan, Jungwoo, and Felix. 

 

~~~~~~~

 

In the end, Seokjin, Jimin, and Joshua decided to take Jeongin aside to give him a thorough talk on the birds and the bees, allowing the rest of them to urge on Jungwoo to share the details from his heat. 

 

By the time Jeongin returns with the older hyungs, Jungwoo has gone into great detail on how exactly Lucas used his hands. 

 

His hands would start on his waist as they made out until Jungwoo started to feel overheated. Then they ripped off both their clothes, stripping them both naked, and landing under his jaw for a searing kiss. Then they wandered down to his shoulders, giving a kneading squeeze to relieve the tension already building. They played his his nipples as his lips lingered over the hickeys places purposely on his neck and collarbone. Then they skipped down his torso with featherlight touches to come to grip at his hips as he ground down his his hips, the scent of slick permeating the air even more as sparks flew through his entire body from feeling Lucas against himself. Then the hands would disappear after he begged for more attention  _ there _ . He heard a click and soon after he would feel lips on his chest, sucking at his hard buds while he feels warm and lined fingers softly circle his entrance. His long fingers slowly entered him, stretching him out slowly despite his own pleading for him to just  _ fill him now _ , cautiously making sure that he was loose enough to feel as much pleasure with the least amount of pain. The other hand would be holding his dick, making sure to distract him from the twinges of pain as he reach four fingers inside him. He presses his long fingers relentless against his prostate, making him cum. The hand leaves his dick, only to guide Lucas’s own to his shiny, pink hole. His hands return to his chest and his groin to maintain his level of pleasure while easing in inch by inch. They grip hard at his hips as they both lose their rhythm to the feeling of their oncoming releases. He reaches his own orgasm, releasing on his own chest, where he feels fingers trace through the cum and watches as he brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks before he can feel his knot start to expand, locking inside of his hole and releasing wave upon wave of seed, as he almost collapses on top of him, catches him on his elbows to avoid crushing the smaller. Then, as he comes out of the fervor of his heat momentarily, Jungwoo can feel Lucas running his fingers through his own sweaty hair as they both fall asleep, his boyfriend still inside of him, until they wake an hour later to Jungwoo’s next wave of heat. 

 

Jungwoo finishes his recollection of how Lucas helped him through his heat, leaving Jisung, Haechan, Jeonghan, Sanha, and Jihoon dramatically fanning themselves and others off. 

 

Meanwhile, Moonbin, Felix, Haknyeon, Wonpil, and Seungkwan are blushing at hearing such intimate details, even though they asked for them. 

 

Hyungwon fell asleep during the story, sleeping with his mouth open, drooling as he leans against Wonpil’s shoulder. 

 

Jungwoo scratches his head nervously, as he says defensively, “Y’all asked and I answered, you can’t just leave me on read like this.”

 

“Wow, hyung. He really knows how to use his hands, huh?”

 

“Nyeonie! Shhh stop, look, Innie and hyungs are returning.”

 

They glance over towards the kitchen where they can see the three older Omegas walking towards them, looking slightly embarrassed. 

 

But none of them even rivaled how red Jeongin’s face, neck, and ears are. He is looking decidedly down at his shoes, trying not to make any eye contact with his friends. He focuses on his own twiddling fingers as he sits besides Seungkwan and Moonbin. 

 

And he proceeds to say softly that he didn’t mean what he said about Hyunjin and that in fact he’d very much not like to do that right now with anyone. 

 

The rest of the younger Omegas immediately glom onto him, embracing him in a group hug to relief his nerves and make sure he didn’t feel too embarrassed. 

 

Even then, he stayed relatively quiet for the rest of the night, preferring to simply lean on Jisung and Felix for the rest of the night and listen to the rest of them. 

 

~~~~~~~

 

It’s a little past midnight when Wonpil takes the short silence and a nudge from Jeonghan as his cue to share his own piece with the younger members of their club. 

 

“So, I guess if y’all don’t mind, I’ll share a bit, but it’ll be quite a change of atmosphere so I hope that’s okay.” He waits a moment for any disagreement but only receives reassuring nods from Hyungwon, Seokjin, and Jimin. Jeonghan pats him on the back as he introduces himself. 

 

“I know most of you know me by now, but just to be complete, I’m Wonpil and I graduated two years ago. I was born in ‘94 though, so I guess I’ll explain that first. I had to repeat a year of university because I was hospitalized in my junior year. I was hospitalized due to malnutrition. In high school, I developed what I hadn’t realized was an eating disorder. It wasn’t too overwhelming then, I still had my family and I would eat the food I had. I would just avoid getting anything besides what my mom made me, and I would fixated on how much I was eating and how my body looked. I think it was the beginning on my body dysmorphia too.”

 

He pauses as he glances around to judge the younger Omegas’ reactions and gage Jimin’s reactions. 

 

“It started to get bad in university. When I was a freshman, I would be very selective at the dining halls and wouldn’t take part in food when I would go out with friends. But once I was living in an apartment the next year and had to do my own groceries, that’s when it got the most extreme. I started, or rather, I stopped eating at home at all. If I didn’t have groceries, then there wasn’t anything to eat. Whenever my stomach would growl, I would justify it by counting my ribs and thinking about how hard my parents were working to make money to support my time in college. ‘It would be unfair for me to eat well when they worked so hard,’ I would think, even though my family was never struggling enough to not be able to afford food.”

 

He pauses and takes a deep breath. He continues. 

 

“One thing I should add is that I have a form of chronic pain that rarely shows up in male Omegas. There’s not a lot of research done on it in males and therefore very few resources or effective treatment. It makes my heats extremely unbearable and difficult to manage alone. But even worse is that all suppressants or birth control either are ineffective or make me extremely sick and nauseous. Which given my low body weight isn’t an option. Basically, I don’t want to brag or anything, but it kinda sucks to be me….”

 

Wonpil starts to subconsciously scratch at his forearms, before Joshua gently pulls his hands away before he can break skin, angry red marks already on his pale skin. 

 

“It’s difficult enough, at least, that at one point, I hated being an Omega. The thing I wanted the most in my entire life was to have been born a Beta instead. So much so that I looked up how to stop having heats. Unfortunately, this led me down a road of body dysmorphic Omega blogs that supported eating disorders as a way to achieve a heatless state. So I doubled down on my restriction to the point that I wouldn’t eat for days at a time, eating only after finding that I had fainted or something. Even then, I made sure to only eat things like tea or celery or a grape sometimes. I hated myself so much that I would avoid mirrors entirely. I only knew I looked okay to leave the apartment because during my first time in junior year, Dowoonie had moved in with me and would let me know if I looked okay or not.”

 

Jeonghan takes one of his hands to squeeze. 

 

“Dowoonie is a year younger so he was looking for an apartment. He’s not great at making close friends, so he asked if I knew anywhere he could look to live and I offered my apartment. I had been gifted from my job for reasons that I realize now are definitely related to my health deteriorating. So we were living in the apartment together, we shared the one bedroom, two beds, half the rent to pay, made sense. But it really became more difficult to hide the fact I wouldn’t eat. I ended up buying groceries and throwing a lot away everyday so that Dowoonie would think I was eating it. I was becoming lore and more secretive and mean to him, even though he was only ever showing concern that I was so much thinner than he remembered from high school. Or even the months before. I only had one heat while we lived together that year. A week after he moved in, I left to go stay at the university clinic for its duration and when I got back he had prepared a whole feast for us to share. I are as much as I could, which wasn’t much, and then threw it up immediately after. After that, I had achieved my goal. My heat didn’t come back. When I looked down to count my ribs, which had become my method for grounding myself amidst panic attacks, I didn’t need to feel them with my fingers. Because I could see them. It was nearing the end of the year when finals were coming up. I spent so much time in the library, drinking coffee and espresso to keep myself running. I had been failing my classes, unable to focus on class at all. I ended up passing out at the dinner table while studying. Dowoonie had found me passed out before but I usually woke up when he would try to wake me up. This time I didn’t. He checked my pulse and he’ll tell you that he couldn’t find one. Clearly not, I’m still here.”

 

Wonpil awkwardly chuckles while everyone keeps their eyes on him, allowing him to take his time. 

 

“He called 119, and he came to the ER with me, even though he had finals to study for. He tries to hide it from me, but I know that he had thought I was going to die. I’m naturally very much one for skinship, but I had been  avoiding being physically close to anyone for months. He hadn’t realized until he tried to carry me to the sofa in our living room that I had lost so much weight. If I didn’t already mention this, Dowoonie is in medical school now, so he knew some things about the body even then. He knew immediately that I wasn’t healthy. I hadn’t told him about all my health issues before. So when I got to the hospital and was taken for triage, he didn’t know what to do. I was put on hormone treatments and IV drips to try and get nutrients into my system. When I woke up, I saw Dowoonie there, sitting next to me, holding my hand. His hand was so much warmer than mine. It felt like fire. And he tried to explain to me when he had overheard from the nurses and doctors, but I got angry. I tried to pull out my IV, worried that it would make me gain weight. I tried to push Dowoon away from me. I yelled that he should’ve let me die. Dowoon didn’t leave. He hugged me and didn’t let go. And I cried. Not that there were a lot of tears as I was also extremely dehydrated. But Dowoon refuses to leave until visiting hours were over. He would come everyday with his books and computer and study while staying with me. He refused to leave me alone. He would talk to me all day even though I ignored him. He kept and kept trying to get me to talk to him. Eventually I screamed at him, asking what he wanted. He said quietly that he just wanted me to be happy.”

 

Wonpil smiles down at his lap as he continues, sniffles can be heard from others in the little group. 

 

“Even though Dowoonie isn’t really gifted with his words, hearing him say that made me really think about whether what I was doing was really what I wanted. Well, that and lots of therapy. I’m still going. I’m not fully healed. But I’m going to group sessions too. For the fertility issues I have from my condition plus the period where my heat stopped. That’s where I actually met Seokmin for the first time and eventually met all of you. But I ended up having to repeat my junior year. But it was okay, because I was able to get better and be the same year as Jiminie and Dowoonie. My heats returned after a few more months. And after the first one, Dowoonie refused to let me go through it alone again. It’s embarrassing that my little Dowoonie needs to help me. But he never complains. Even though he needs to waste so much of him time on me when he should be focusing on himself. He even decided to go to medical school because of me. And now he has a difficult time because of me.”

 

Wonpil is crying now, unable to hold back the tears as he brings up the thoughts that constantly bother him. 

 

“Hyung,” Jeonghan says with a squeeze to his hand. “You know that Dowoon wouldn’t be doing it if he didn’t want to. And someone should be doing the research, and if it’s Dowoon, then you know that progress will be made.”

 

“What do you mean by research, Hannie hyung?” Haknyeon asks softly. 

 

“Dowoon decided to pursue medical school and becoming a doctor so he can help research and find treatments for Wonpil’s condition.” Joshua explains, coming back from the kitchen with a glass of water for Wonpil. 

 

“Yet every few weeks he takes days off to hold me through my heat. I feel so bad about it that it made my first few times with him worse. But he insists. And I can’t say no to him when he does so much for me.” Wonpil takes a little sip from the glass to help clear his throat. “He takes such good care of me. He always makes sure I eat. Even when it’s hard. Because it still is. But he makes sure I always feel worthy of even being here.”

 

Seungkwan asks, “But hyung, it sounds like he really likes you. I heard that you rejected him before. …Why?”

 

Wonpil rubs his red eyes before answering. “I’m a mess. I’m moody because I still take the hormones. I’m difficult to take places because sometimes I can’t handle certain foods and it changes day to day. I caused my own body almost irreversible damage and infertility. I’m too needy and pathetic. Dowoonie deserves someone who can give him back everything he gives others. I can’t give him anything. He wastes his time on me. He always makes sure to be free when I have checkups. He used to walk me to and from class, and now he just goes on walks with me. He cooks for us. At parties, he always carries a plate of food so he can make sure I’m eating. He even lets me go the gym if he can come with me and makes us a good meal afterwards. He never says I’m a bother, even though the reason he doesn’t have any time to go out and meet someone is because he’s always busy taking care of me. He massages my back when my pain flares up. He never tells me I’m being dramatic when I’m having a bad day. He just holds me through my heat, ignoring his own instincts to make sure that I don’t have to have a painful heat alone. He lets me where his clothes after my heat so I can feel like I’m being comforted by  _ my own Alpha _ . He’s even going through all the difficulty of medical school because I let myself get out of control. I’m not usually this much of a downer, but every once in a while, I just feel overwhelmed again. Probably means my heat is coming again soon.”

 

“I thought you had your heat a few weeks ago?” Felix asks with a neutral expression. 

 

“Part of my condition is that heats are irregular and quite frequent generally. So the only way to tell if my heat is coming with accuracy is to take daily blood tests to monitor my blood hormone levels. Which I don’t usually do because it’s quite difficult to get to the hospital everyday.”

 

“While I still think you should given Dowoon hyung a chance, why do you still let him go through your heats with you even though you don’t like it?” Jeongin asks, speaking for the first time in a few hours, his innocent face contorted into a confused frown. 

 

“It’s not so much that I don’t like it. I really like it. It makes it so much easier on me. I don’t think I could go through it alone now. But I hate it because I don’t want him to feel obligated to because he doesn’t want me to hate my heats. He doesn’t want me to wish I didn’t have my heats again and spiral into my bad habits again. I don’t want him to feel obligated to take care of me. Maybe I’m just being selfish. Because I want him. I really do. Wow,” Wonpil starts to laugh, a smile on his face even though his tears are still streaming down his face. “I haven’t really ever told anyone that. That I do in fact like him. I usually just let people speculate. But yeah. I’m selfish. I cling to him all the time and depends on him to be there for me whenever I need him. But I don’t accept him because I don’t want his feelings that come from obligation. I want his love from his heart.”

 

Moonbin sits up a bit hearing Wonpil’s confession. He leans over to slap him lightly on the back. “Well, hyung, I’m glad you’re letting us know your feelings, but I think you should be confessing to him.”

 

“No, I couldn’t. I can’t be a burden to him.”

 

“Well, technically, you wouldn’t be any more of a burden then you are now.” Haechan adds before Jihoon slaps him up the head. 

 

“I think that you should do something about it. It’s not healthy for you to be emotionally dependent on him without letting him know your feelings. I see it as having two choices: either you confess and he’ll likely accept your feelings, because we’ve all seen how he cares for you, or you leave the situation entirely and learn to depend on yourself.” Jihoon adds solemnly, taking the situation as seriously as ever. 

 

“Yeah, I think I understand what you mean. I will definitely try to do something before my heat comes again so any arrangements can be prepared in time.” Wonpil says softly, staring into space as he thinks hard about what to do. 

 

Jimin stands up. “I think it’s time for us to make s’mores. Hyung, if you agree, I think it’s time to have some snacks.” 

 

Jimin reaches his hand down to pull up Wonpil. “Yeah, Jiminie, I think it’s time to have some fun. Sorry for bringing down the mood.”

 

Seungkwan is wiping the obvious tears from his eyes as Haechan reminds them all that Jeongin hadn’t known what sex was until an hour ago, so how could the atmosphere be that sad really. Jeongin flushes red again and starts to chase Haechan around the small apartment while Sanha, Jisung, and Haknyeon just laugh at them. Seokjin rubs Wonpil’s back as they head over to the stove to make s’mores. 

 

Seungkwan pulls Wonpil aside before they can join the rest in the kitchen. 

 

“Hyung, I wanted to thank you for sharing today. I know it might have been rude before when I asked about you and Dowoon hyung at the party, but it still means a lot that you’d share with me, even if it was just in a group. I’m sure it was hard and I will try to learn from your strength.”

 

Wonpil laughs as he wraps his arm around his shoulders. “Kwannie, I want you to know that I wanted to share. I didn’t feel forced into it or anything. Most of the older Omegas know fully what happened. Or what is still happening. And talking it out always helps. It’s sometimes hard to accurately see your own situation and having others around helps you look at it more clearly. Maybe soon we can talk about you too.” He says with a big smile. 

 

“What about me? I think I’m doing pretty well right now. I mean I relate on the food and body aspects. I’m working on it right now but I think I’ve made good progress.”

 

“No,” Wonpil says, placing his finger on his chest. “We need to talk about you and Hansollie.”

 

“Me and Hansol? We’re friends. What is there to talk about?” Seungkwan rushes out. 

 

“Mmhm, sure. That was convincing. I know all about lying to yourself and I recognize it in others better than myself. Don’t try to lie to yourself. Because you can’t lie to me.”

 

Seungkwan blanches at the implication that Wonpil can read his mind. Wonpil steers then into the kitchen and hands him a marshmallow. 

 

“Treat yourself, Kwannie.” Seungkwan allows Wonpil to pop the marshmallow into his mouth. “Gotta stay fed for yourself and your little bean.” He says, sneaking a glance down at Seungkwan’s little belly. 

 

“Hyung, I’m sorry that I complain about it so much. If I knew about your complications I’d never have brought it u-”

 

“It’s fine. If anything, I’m happy for you. As long as it’s what you want. You don’t have to feel guilty about it. You deserve your own happiness.”

 

Seungkwan smiles, placing a hand on his belly and using his free hand to feed a marshmallow to the older. “You too, hyung. You deserve your own happiness, too.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is talk about an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, nothing graphic, but I want anyone who needs to know to be aware
> 
> if you can't read this chapter, feel free to leave a comment and I will respond with the gist of what happened in the chapter so you don't have to read specific details!
> 
> I just want to make sure anyone who wants to read this can without having to engage with content that is bad for their mental security!!!
> 
>  
> 
> Please let me know if you enjoy these sleepover chapters, because I will definitely plan more
> 
> ALSO the poll for Seungkwan's baby's sex is now tied, so RIP, please if you haven't voted, do, so I don't have to make a decision or spontaneously have him have twins... D: ---> https://www.strawpoll.me/17955834


	15. CHAPTER FIFTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brunch with Seungkwan, Moonbin, Jisung, and Sanha

It’s a few days later that Seungkwan gets together with Moonbin, Jisung, and Sanha for Moonbin’s birthday. His hyungs had taken him out the night before and gotten him drunk in order to take his mind off the one thing that weighed heavy on his mind.

 

“I know Jinjin hyung and Myungjoonie hyung have good intentions, but now I’m just hungover and sad.” Moonbin mopes over his omelette that just arrived at the cute American style brunch cafe they had decided to eat at. “Dongminnie just had to have his rut on my birthday.” He picks at the garnish atop the dish.

 

The waiter brings in Seungkwan’s large plate of breakfast foods, Jisung’s french toast, and Sanha’s two plates of crepes.

 

Jisung one again gives the other ‘00er a look, to which Sanha responds that he’s still a growing boy, unlike him, making Jisung yell at him for calling him short. 

 

Seungkwan lays a hand on Moonbin’s back, coaxing him into eating some of his food, telling him that food will make him feel better.

 

“You know that he would change that if he could. Timing just sucks sometimes. He definitely loves you and just doesn’t know how to best show you when instincts are involved.” Seungkwan says, trying to soothe his friend.

 

“Yeah, I know, but you would think that he would get through that, we’ve been together over a year. I mean, we even waited months to have sex, and that was so exhausting. It’s like Alphas don’t realize that we have needs too.” He pouts as he cuts a piece of his omelette.

 

“Here, here,” Jisung says, raising his mimosa to clink against Sanha’s. He takes a sip before setting it back on the table. “Like, we get horny just like they do. It’s almost more fun, really, because imagine having the shortsighted idea that the dick is the only part of your body that matters while masturbating.”   
  
Seungkwan pales at how bluntly Jisung says this while Sanha breaks into laughter. Moonbin shakes his head as he places his hand on Seungkwan’s back now.

 

“I should have warned you that our brunches are just about as raunchy, if not worse, than our sleepovers ever are. Deep shit is saved for night, and detailed accounts of new positions and techniques for masturbation or phone sex always show up at brunch. Thank god there aren’t any aunties around this time.”

 

“Oh yeah, I remember, was it two months ago that I was sharing how Minhyuk had eaten me out the night before and it sounded just like the way Joshua hyung’s creme brulee did when he scooped into it.”   
  
Jisung starts cackling. “Yeah, and then Joshua hyung had to apologize to those ladies for like fifteen minutes so they wouldn’t complain to the manager and get us banned from that cafe.”

 

They’re currently sitting out on the second story balcony of the cafe, overlooking the busy streets on Hongdae. Moonbin had made the choice, as it was his birthday.

 

“He ended up scolding us, even though he had been talking about how intense his last heat had been with Seokminnie hyung. And he didn’t skip many details.” Moonbin laughs, in a better mood as he talks about their friends’ antics.

 

“Ah, you guys, I don’t really get it…” Seungkwan leans his head down into his hand.

 

“Get what, Kwannie?”

 

“I- I just don’t know how you talk about sex so openly. I mean, I’m not against it, but you know, I don’t really have a lot of positive experiences myself and I feel quite out of place.”

 

Jisung peels one of Seungkwan’s hands from his face, his other hand stroking through his hair. “Hyung, You know, we understand, but hopefully, eventually you can find someone that you can have positive experiences with.”   
  
Sanha adds that they can help him navigate sex differently than he knows how to. “Who’s to say that you need to wait for the right partner. You can totally take it into your own hands if you’re feeling a little horny.”   
  
“Sanha! You’re like five years old, and you’re telling him to masturbate.” Moonbin looks at Sanha in shock. “What would your brother think if he were here?”

 

“Well thank goodness he isn’t, because I want to make sure that our Seungkwannie hyung is perfectly prepared to take care of himself if he needs to. I mean, what do you think, hyung?”

 

Seungkwan gulps. He had thought about the fact that hanging around all of his Omega friends would eventually mean hacing to talk about sex, but he never imagined it would arise during their brunch. But he had also talked with his therapist quite a bit about his aversion for sexual activities, especially after his pseudoheat, and had come to terms with it.

 

“I mean, as of now, I’m not super interested in doing anything, and I don’t think I will be for a while. Even though, I’ve learned from my research that being pregnant can boost your libido sometimes. I do want to get more comfortable with my body though. In that way as well. Even if right now I couldn’t imagine even doing anything like that.”

 

Seungkwan can only imagine how red his face is flushing with how warm his face feels. Sanha’s slightly deranged smile calms a bit, as he reaches over to grab Seungkwan’s hand.

  
“Well, I’ll let you know that I too once started out uncertain on how to approach my own body, but now here I am, a baller even on my own, a solo player, a one man, one hand band.”

 

Jisung plucks Sanha’s hand away from Seungkwan. “I can see how that was meant to be sweet at first, but it really went the wrong way. Kwannie hyung, considering I’m the only one here that isn’t also in a longterm relationship and regularly gets served the sex, then I can probably best relate. Plus I can also relate to having had an abusive partner. Not nearly as severe or as long, but nevertheless, I went through that feeling afterwards where I didn’t feel like I knew my own body anymore.”   
  
Seungkwan looks down into his plate, just some pieces of home potatoes left, as he feels Sanha and Moonbin places a hand on his shoulders and feels Jisung place a hand on his across the table.

 

“It’s a weird feeling to have your body respond when you don’t want it to….”

 

“Yeah, and feeling like you can’t trust your body? I had to go through some counselling after the breakup and ended up having to get reacquainted with my body. I’m an advocate of learning how to masturbate because it can be really empowering to know your own body. It’s a relationship like anything else and it would help to know how your body works if you ever do want to pursue a relationship with someone else.”

 

“Putting it that way makes sense. I just feel like I’m afraid to look down there. The last person to go down there, besides doctors, was Taewon. And even if there isn’t physical damage somehow, then there’s still that invisible feeling of having his hands on me. And I don’t know if I ever mentioned how Hansol had told me after my pseudoheat that my heat scent was mixed with fear.”

 

“Because for the longest time, sex was linked with pain, wasn’t it?” Jisung asks, with a sadness in his voice that ages him greatly beyond his youth.

 

“Yeah, and I know that sex is supposed to be a fun thing. Supposed to feel good… but I can barely imagine that. I… think I want to try… by myself. But you don’t need to go into great detail right now, we still are at a cafe in public. But just some… pointers, I guess. I honestly don’t know where to start. Aish, this is embarrassing.”

 

Moonbin chuckles, as Sanha musters all of his expertise. “Well, once again, you’ve come to the right me.” He says as he jabs his thumb towards his chest. “I would say that I am a pro when it comes to self-appreciation. I would say that it is important not to force it. Get wet. Don’t go in dry. Use lube. Treat yourself. Light a candle. Turn down the lights. Play some nice music. I prefer some Taemin myself because that is one sexy man.”

 

Moonbin interrupts with a quick, “Don’t lie, I know you just look at shirtless photos of Minhyuk to get yourself going.”   
  
Sanha sticks his tongue out at Moonbin. “Pfft, yeah maybe, but that’s not helpful to Seungkwannie hyung. Maybe he’d want some sensual music instead of photos of my boyfriend. Although, if you want… I’m sure Hyukkie wouldn’t mind…. No? Alright, but yeah, don’t force it, just let it happen when it feels right.”

 

Jisung pipes in. “Yeah, if you want to try sometime, make sure that you don’t go in dry. I know that’s a big issue I had after my ex because he would always skip the foreplay. But because it’s just you, you can have all the foreplay you want. Make sure you take your own time. You only need to make yourself feel good, so make sure you chase the feeling. And don’t feel guilty about it. Because you, as any other Omega, Beta, or Alpha, deserve to feel good.”

 

Moonbin tries to quiet down the younger two while waving to get the check, stopping Sanha from asking for another mimosa.

 

While Moonbin is distracted, Sanha reaches as discreetly as possible into his bag and pulls out some kind of tube. He makes a face at Seungkwan and signals with his hand. He slyly hands the tube over which, to Seungkwan’s shock, is actually a fresh bottle of lube. 

 

When Jisung realizes what Sanha had given him, he yells, “Holy shit! Sanha, why did you have that in your bag?”   
  
Moonbin blanches as he catches up on the situation. “Dear god, are we going to have to have another talk about hwere and when sex is an appropriate thing to engage in? Will I have to get Jeonghan involved? Again? You know Minhyukkie doesn’t approve of your ‘Masturbate in Every University Building By Graduation’ plan.”   
  
“Okay, so first, that is a great plan. Imagine being able to tell me and Minhyuk’s children- no scratch that, our grandchildren, that their cool grandfather had sex in every building in SNU? And second, I had only bought that this morning, I was running out of the plain kind. But it’s fine, don’t worry, I have plenty of the warming and scented kind to make us through the weekend.”   
  
Moonbin runs a hand over his face as Jisung admits that it’s not a bad thing for Seungkwan to have it if it’s a fresh tube. “It’s better than Sanha giving him a half used bottle. Plus, I doubt that Kwannie hyung wants to go and buy his own. And that is the kind I’d recommend. Don’t get any of the heated ones at first, because it might be intended to feel nice but will most likely be more uncomfortable if you have sensitivity about sex.”

 

Seungkwan understands what Jisung is trying to tell him. But it doesn’t make slipping the item into his bag as they leave the cafe any less embarrassing. 

 

They make the short walk down the path to a little bakery. Seungkwan’s cast is still a nuisance but Seungkwan had gotten pretty used to it over the last two months.

 

But apparently Moonbin wasn’t kidding, because after checking that Seungkwan was still comfortable enough with the topic of conversation, Sanha forged ahead with revealing far too much about his and Minhyuk’s sex lives.

 

“So then, he said I should leave it on! And so I did. And I don’t know if it made me cum any harder, but Rocky really bust a nut about it, so I think we’ll try it again.” Sanha trails off as if sharing all these details is normal while walking out and about with friends in the afternoon.

 

Meanwhile, Seungkwan is clutching onto his stomach and Jisung’s shoulder as he laughs so hard he almost falls over. Moonbin looks like he’s seriously pondering what he said.

 

“Bin hyung, why so serious?” Jisung roars as he laughs uncontrollably.

 

“Well,” Moonbin strokes his chin in mock thoughtfulness. “Maybe if I try something like that, I can get some good ol’ rut boning with Dongminnie…”

 

“Binnie! What is it about brunch that gets you all so raunchy? And Rocky is Minhyuk I’m assuming?”

 

“Yeah, and do you want to know how he got that nickname?” Sanha eagerly asks with his normal deranged twinkle in his eyes, as if he’s waiting for his response. 

 

Before either Jisung or Moonbin can tell him not to ask, Seungkwan asks why. 

 

He gives them both a weird look as Sanha enthusiastically yells, “Because he makes the bed rock!”

 

All three of them groan while Sanha proudly walks ahead and holds the door open to the bakery.

 

They sit down in the corner booth, Sanha helping Seungkwan get comfortable amongst the pillows on the plush cushions while Jisung offers to go order them some pastries.

 

Seungkwan rubs at his stomach, grimacing a bit. 

 

“Kwannie, is something wrong?” Moonbin asks, immediately concerned for his friend.

 

“No, nothing’s wrong. But because the little bean is growing, I think I’m starting to get stretch marks. And they itch really bad.”   
  
“I heard if you use lotion a lot, you can help it a bit, right?” Moonbin supplies helpfully.

 

Sanha chimes in that he should have Hansol help him with the lotion. Seungkwan just sticks his tongue out at the younger, blushing slightly because the thought doesn’t fill him with the dread he expects at the notion but instead with that weird fluttery feeling he felt a while ago.

 

“I mean, he’s technically gone through a heat with you. You two might as well be Bonded, you know?”

 

This, however, makes Seungkwan’s heart stop. For a moment, he feels pain in his neck. He knows that the feeling in his chest is panic and he can feel Moonbin slip his hand in his. He grasps it tightly as he focuses on breathing as even as he can. He can hear Moonbin’s voice, soft and hurried, probably explaining to Sanha that he had once been Bonded.

 

He can hear a tray being set on the table. Must be Jisung with the pastries. He can feel his heart beat slow down, and the phantom pain thrums underneath the skin of the nape of his neck.

 

He didn’t realize he closed his eyes, but when he opens them again, he can see his friends looking back at him. 

 

“I’m okay, I’m okay. Really, I am now. But sorry about that. It was almost a panic attack but I’m okay now.”

 

Jisung asks softly, “So you and Taewon were… Bonded?”

 

Seungkwan nods, staring at the table and the little cakes Jisung had brought. “We Bonded during my third heat. Or… I should say… he Bonded me. I know now that it was actually wrong for him to do it without my consent. But my first heat hit and I presented shortly after starting to date him. He almost bit me then, but I stopped him. He made me go through my next heat alone for that. Because I didn’t know anything about heats, I didn’t know how to take care of myself. It was painful, as you can imagine, so when Taewon came to me after it and begged to go through my next heat together, saying that his Rut was painful without me there, I felt like it was perfect. We were meant for each other if we were both in so much pain without each other. But clearly that was bullshit, because he ended up actually having his Rut during my heat. He might have planned it, but he blamed Bonding me on his Rut. And I was angry at first. After I woke up from passing out from the pain. But with all the hormones and emotions pulsing through me, I couldn’t keep myself from giving into him. Even though, I know now that if I were to have gone to the school counsellor or a doctor, I would’ve gotten him arrested for nonconsensual Bondmarking of a minor. I almost wish I had. But in the end, I’m glad to be able to be here with you guys now, plus I have my little bean too.”

 

Jisung wipes the tears from his own face, then leans to wipe them from Seungkwan face before going back to eating his odd combination of brioche, red bean, and chili paste. Who knows when he started carrying it around, but maybe like Sanha, it was a weird sex thing.

 

Sanha bows his head a little. “Hyung, I apologize for making an inappropriate joke. And I’m really sorry that happened to you. And I’m proud to know such a strong person. But I hope this doesn’t come off insensitive, but I think Bonding has just been on my mind… I’ve been considering the possibilities of maybe… BondingwithMinhyuk.”

 

Considering the blank stares on his friends’ faces, this really takes them by surprise. They all start to yell at once.

 

“What do you mean Bonding with Minhyuk?”   
  
“Have you told Jeonghan hyung yet?”

 

“This isn’t you saying that you already Bonded, right?”

 

And Sanha can understand their shock. 

 

Bonding was more than just dating or marriage. It was a biological process leftover from prehistoric primal instincts. Alphas used to Bond to as many Omegas a possible to sire as many children as they could in their shorter lifespans. It was a way to ensure the proliferation of the species. But as humans modernized and moved away from such primal life, it remained a way for dominant Alphas to objectify Omegas. As when an Alpha Bonded an Omega, they would become unable to be with another Alpha in the same way. It was permanent, except in extreme cases like Seungkwan’s. 

 

Nowadays, as society became more progressive, Bonding was something seen as extremely traditional. With couples that were together for a long time and were committed to each other, it could be a way of expressing that commitment, like renewing marriage vows but more intense. 

 

“I haven’t done anything yet with Minhyukkie.” He pulls his collar down to bare his clear neck. “I haven’t even actually mentioned it to him yet. So it’s not something that he asked of me. I know that’s what you’re most worried about. And it has nothing to do with being insecure about our relationship either. I believe in our future.”   
  
Often, young couples these days would Bond before the other went to the military or because one or both people were uncertain about their future and wanted to force the other to remain in the relationship. Similar to how sometimes an Omega would get pregnant to try and keep their partner when a relationship is falling apart. All of these occurrences left Bonding with a bad perception to the public.

 

“I know we’d both be really young, but honestly, I can’t see my life without him. Like ever since I met him, my life has changed. The way I see love has changed.”   
  
“Well, I’m not really the one to advise you at all, but I think you should really talk it through with Minhyuk first. And really figure out what the both of you want. Right, Kwannie?”   
  
Seungkwan looks towards Sanha, and he can see a look in his face that seems familiar. He’s not sure where but this lovestruck expression seems like it’s not the first time he’s seen it.

 

“If you ever want to talk more about how I felt while I was Bonded, let me know. I think it’s important to understand the negative aspects of Bonding. As many good things, there are bad things. And if you can work through those things as a couple, I think you and Minhyuk would stand a chance.”

 

Sanha smiles, and he wipes a stray tear from his eye. “Thanks, hyung. I know I try to act like things like this don’t matter to me, but when they come to Minhyukkie, everything matters.”   
  
“Awwwwww,” the other two coo simultaneously, as Jisung shoves the remainder of a cupcake covered in soy sauce in his mouth.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Seungkwan returns home to find Hansol sitting at the kitchen counter, books open, scribbling in a notebook. He turns to smile at him as he heads to sit on the stool next to him. 

 

“Have a good time with Binnie and whoever else went to brunch?” He asks, a smile blooming on his face.

 

“Jisung and Sanha. It was nice. A little dirty, though.” Seungkwan says.

 

“Dirty? Where’d you go?” Hansol asks, setting his pencil down and turning to face the Omega.

 

“No, no, it was plenty clean… It was just more dirty conversation.” Seungkwan blushes as he remembers what’s in his bag. 

 

“Oh…. I see.” Hansol says, breaking eye contact. “I mean, I know Sanha can be a bit… open about things. I’ve definitely heard a lot of details I wish I hadn’t from him. But Rocky is actually quite discerning compared to Sanha. He’s never shared unnecessary sex details.” He continues to blush, as he considers the fact Seungkwan was maybe talking about sex only half an hour ago.

 

“I have a bit more studying to do for the upcoming exams. But I can grab you a snack and maybe after I’m done we can watch something?” Hansol says, looking back up at the older’s glowing face. 

 

“Sure. I have a lot of Beyonce music to listen to. Nyeonnie had some of his friends put together some songs in a mix… list?”

 

“Playlist?”

 

“But yeah, one of his hyungs put all of Beyonce’s music on it. She’s amazing.”   
  
“Hmmm…” Hansol says as he watches Seungkwan’s smile as he talks about music he had missed out on while under Taewon’s thumb. He feels that familiar feeling of warmth and giddiness whenever Seungkwan talks about something he likes. He almost misses when Seungkwan waves his hand in front of his face.

 

“Hansollie-yah? I was asking if we have any soy sauce. Jisungie was eating it on something today and it really reminded me how delicious it would taste on top of some fried rice, or maybe on top of some toast. Or maybe on some cookies….“

 

“Okay, so first, gross.” Seungkwan slaps him lightly on the chest. “And second, whatever you want to eat, I shall get.” He gets up to peek around the fridge. “We have soy sauce, of course. And we have some bread, so I can make some toast. Maybe I can order some delivery? Is there anything specific you want?”

 

“Oh, maybe just some fried rice… and some fried chicken? And do we have anything sweet?”

 

“Just some frosting….”

 

“That’s perfect.”   
  
“Don’t tell me you’re planning to put the frosting on the toast?”

 

“Nope,” Hansol lets out a relieved sigh, “I’m going to put it on the rice and chicken.”   
  
“I mean, I might be disappointed in this food combination,” he heads over to wear Seungkwan is now sitting on the couch to cover him with a blanket and hand him some headphones. “...but I’m not really complaining. I’m glad to see you eat something, even if it’s really weird cravings. It just means you and baby Boo are healthy, right?”

 

“Yeah, I mean I guess so.” Seungkwan looks down fondly at his belly that’s now covered by the fluffy blanket Hansol got from Jihoon and Soonyoung for Christmas. “Sorry if it’s too weird. You can just order something else if you want to. We don’t need to order something if only I want it.”

 

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I’m pretty hungry and some… kimchi fried rice sounds pretty good. Plus, if it’s what you and little Boo want, then I’m outnumbered anyway.” He says this with a big smile on his face, imagining that one day, little Boo would actually be able to put in their own opinion on what delivery they should get. And Hansol already knows that given he’s still in Seungkwan and the baby’s life, that he’d be too weak to refuse whatever they want.

 

“Kimchi fried rice sounds delicious. I can’t believe I’m going to put frosting on kimchi fried rice.”   
  
“I bet you ten thousand won that you won’t actually do it.”   
  
Seungkwan turns around to face him, a smirk on his face. “Alright. Get ready to lose. I’ve been holding back these cravings for weeks, but they weren’t this strong before. I’ve been trying to listen to my body more recently, but I think I’m finally learning how to really listen well.”   
  
Hansol can’t help but smile as he taps on his phone, calling his favorite delivery service.

 

~~~~~~

 

When he hears a knock on the door, he goes to grab the delivery food. 

 

He returns it to the kitchen counter and is about to call Seungkwan over, when he realizes that Seungkwan is humming while listening to his music.

 

He’s not familiar with the song, but it’s instantly the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard. He approaches him, bringing the delivery with him. He sets it on the coffee table and Seungkwan takes the headphones out when he notices the food.

 

“Oh, it’s here? Did you bring the frosting?” Seungkwan asks eagerly.

 

“Yep,” Hansol grimaces as he points towards the jar of frosting. “But what song was that?”

 

“Oh,” Seungkwan checks the playlist. “It’s Sandcastles by Beyonce. I think it’s my new favorite.”

 

“Well, I think a good way to learn English….”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“...would be to learn the lyrics to some of these American songs you like.”   
  
“Oh….” Seungkwan starts to look uncomfortable.

 

“Kwannie, if you don’t want to sing, then you don’t need to. But when you sang at karaoke, you looked so happy. I can’t believe that you actually don’t like to sing, because clearly it can’t be that you can’t sing.”   
  
“No, no, no, I’m really not that good. I don’t want to bother anyone with my voice. It’s too loud and scratchy.”   
  
“Then I must sound like an angel if you’re really hearing things that way.”

 

Seungkwan stares back at Hansol seriously, before giving in.

 

“Alright, maybe it’s more of an irrational fear leftover from Taewon. But I really used to love singing. And I eventually gave into Taewon’s criticism. He said if I couldn’t sound good, why even sing at all… I guess I believed him before. And I know I shouldn’t believehim now. But I just can’t shake the idea that people will hate it if I sing now.”   
  
“Do you not remember how Cheol hyung actually cried listening to you sing Last Love on Christmas Eve?”

 

“I mean, I guess so. I’m probably just so out of practice now.”

 

Seungkwan looks really sad about the fact that even if he wanted to sing that he might not be able to sing the way he would’ve if he never stopped.

 

“Well, what if you practice while we’re home alone. I can help you with your pronunciation of the English. Plus, you looked so happy when you were singing. If you felt nearly as happy as you looked, it’d be, like, illegal to not sing.”

 

Seungkwan looks back at Hansol, and he realizes where he recognized the look on Sanha’s face earlier. Hansol. Hansol always has that look on his face.

 

“Alright. If you think so. Plus, you said that the baby can hear now right? Hopefully, she’ll like it too.”   
  
Hansol smiles. He knows that Seungkwan was uncertain about the future of his baby, but hearing him talk about the baby’s future in any way makes him feel really proud of the Omega and how far he’d come in such a short time.

 

“You might even eventually feel the baby kick to the sound of your singing.”   
  
“Wait, really? I mean, that makes sense. Wait, do you think the fluttery feeling I’m feeling is actually the baby moving?”   
  
“It could be?” Hansol guesses. Seungkwan grabs his hand and holds it to his stomach.

 

“Can you feel anything?”

 

“Well,” Hansol chuckles at his eagerness, “it might be too soon for me to feel anything if you’re not even sure if it’s kicking or not.”

 

“You’re right…. But still…. Wait, I think I feel something…. Or maybe I’m just imagining it ...”   
  
“It’ll happen soon I’m sure.” Hansol replies. But secretly he can’t help but smile as how excited Seungkwan is. At how brightly he’s glowing. At how focused he looks while trying to feel something. At how his own stomach flips while resting his hand against Seungkwan’s belly.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter feels a bit short, but also I wonder if anyone is catching onto some foreshadowing I'm weaving into the last few chapters
> 
> comment below if you have any guesses.
> 
> And comments and kudos motivate me so please let me know what you think, I love to respond to any comments y'all might leave :)))


	16. CHAPTER SIXTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few things happen, and really it's mostly set up for the next part, hold on tight friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this isn't a super developed part of the story, mostly moving the story along, because I have a few things I want to happen next, so this part was kinda hard to actually write because the next part is what I really want to write
> 
> I'm sure that didn't really make a lot of sense, but hopefully this chapter is still good for all of you
> 
> I'm trying really hard to incorporate a little bit of all the characters, not necessarily all equally, because that's basically impossible at this point, and I hope y'all don't mind that it heavily focuses on the Omega characters, but I don't want any of the characters to feel forgotten

Hansol could swear he was forgetting something.

 

He, Mingyu, Jungkook, and a few others were over at his apartment for their annual viewing of the Super Bowl. It had started off as a genuine attempt at getting into sports to be more masculine years ago, but it had since developed into another reason to throw a dumb party. But thanks to timezones, it gave Hansol and his friends a reason to start drinking in the wee hours of the morning.

 

So that’s why we find Hansol, Soonyoung, Mingyu, Jungkook, his friends Yugyeom and Bambam and their hyung Jackson, Moonbin, Minhyuk, their hyung Jinwoo, Felix and most of his friends, Jooheon, who is probably related to someone…

 

Basically an excuse to invite as many people as want to pretend to be interested in American football and drink at 6 am on a Monday, plus a few who were actually aware of the rules and would occasionally try to explain. 

 

He would always plan ahead, sending Jeonghan, Seungcheol, Joshua, and Seungkwan off to Seokmin and Soonyoung’s, finishing any assignments he’d usually wake up early to finish, and preparing snacks the night before. 

 

Certainly he hadn’t forgotten anything. He had the snacks, beers, soju for later, face paint so they could arbitrarily choose teams to cheer for.

 

So it was to his great shock when amidst his cheering and screaming at the television at about 8am, Jooheon had just knocked over a bowl of mini pretzels getting too hyped up with Soonyoung over what ended up not actually being a scoring play, that a knock can be heard on his front door.

 

He shoves his way through the crowd to make his way to the front door, only stepping in one type of dip, and opens the door. 

 

To his surprise, he sees someone he assumed to be in America.    
  
His sister Sofia.

 

Now to fully explain, his dad had been married to Seungcheol’s mom who had passed away soon after he was born. His dad then met Hansol and Sofia’s mom and had the two of them, and Seungcheol loved his stepmother like she was his own. But while he had started to go to university in Korea, their parents wanted Sofia to finish her education in America. So she should be in Miami at her high school….

 

Not at his front door step, suitcase in tow, disappointment on her face.

 

“Sofia, what are you doing here?” He mumbles out.

 

“Why don’t you invite me inside first, Sollie?” She retorts, shoving her way inside the apartment.   
  
Now some of the guys notice her and start to yell greetings at her. Most of them recognize her from pictures or other visits to Korea.

 

“Sof!!” Soonyoung practically flings himself over Jooheon’s lap and over the coach to reach her first and hug her, smearing some red and blue face paint on her cheek.

 

“Wait, why are you here?” Hansol asks, still confused.

 

“Did you really forget? Or do you just not want me here?” Sofia almost looks a little hurt, before reaching up and ruffling Hansol’s already messy hair.

 

Hansol continues to look at his sister in shock while Jungkook approaches and slings his arm around the shorter boy.

 

“Well, I’m sure you told him you were coming, but our favorite Sollie here has been a bit preoccupied recently.”

 

“Oh really, with what?”    
  
Hansol cringes as Jungkook smirks. “A boy.”

 

Hansol shoves Jungkook off of him, as some of the older boy’s friends wander over, attracted to the scene.

  
“Wait, a boy? Is this the crush you mentioned, Kookie?” Yugyeom slings his arm over Hansol’s shoulder now, while Bambam tries to jump onto his back, nearly knocking the three of them over.

 

“Oh, so Hansol oppa likes someone?” Sofia says cutely to get on her brother’s nerves a bit.

 

“No, it’s nothing really. Actually, it’s quite complicated.” Hansol says in English, trying to keep his friends from butting in more. 

  
Lest he forgets how insistent his friends are.

 

“Hyung, don’t forget, two of us here speak English!” Felix yells in English over the chaos, somehow hearing the chance to flex his native language, pointing at his hyung he brought with him.

 

“Englishi, me too!” Mingyu joins in.

 

“Okay, Sof, I’ll tell you more, but not right now. I’m not kidding when I said it’s complicated. Just don’t…. Don’t make any judgments before you really get to know him, okay?”

 

Sofia can see the genuine concern in her brother’s eyes. She was never planning on judging him, just teasing him a bit, but clearly there was more to this than a simple crush. 

 

“Alright, but you better tell me everything I missed.” 

 

“Well,” Hansol switches back to Korean and guides Sofia to join the rest of the guys at the TV. “The biggest thing that has happened was Cheol hyung got proposed to by Jeonghan hyung.”   
  
Sofia lets out a shriek. “What! How did Cheol oppa not tell me! When did this happen?”

 

Hansol grimaces. “Christmas….”   
  
“Christmas! He’s so dead. It’s already February and he didn’t even tell me! My own brother is getting married and I didn’t know?”

 

“Alright, so both of us are a bit shit at communicating these important things, but you can take your anger out on hyung later. For now, just hang out until the game is over? I’m pretty sure that Rams will be able to take this last quarter.”

 

Sofia joins the rest of the guys as they continue to incomprehensibly scream at the TV. Sofia joins the screaming in between greeting the guys she’d met before and greeting the ones she didn’t know. 

 

Jooheon is offering her a beer before Hansol can stop him. “Hyung, that’s my little sister. She’s too young to drink.” 

 

Jooheon isn’t impressed. “As if you haven’t been drinking since high school. And it’s just a beer. You don’t have to drink it Sofia. Calm down, I won’t give her another.”   
  
“Plus, Sol hyung, you brought these for us. And I’m underage.” Felix points out. “And so are Hyunjin, Seungmin, and Jisung… who is not here?”   
  
“He ran to the bathroom. He didn’t look good.” His friend Chan adds.

 

“Alright, so maybe no more beer for Jisung, but the rest of us are A-okay.” He raises his bottle out to cheer with the rest of them, clinking bottles with Sofia, as Hansol drags his hands down his face. 

 

“Alright. But you have to eat too, alright?”

 

“Alright Sollie, anything you want.”

  
  


~~~~~~~~~

  
  


Hansol was a little stressed. Not because he was worried that Sofia wouldn’t like Seungkwan or that Seungkwan wouldn’t like Sofia. 

 

Of course that couldn’t happen.

 

But at the same time, it worried him.

 

But with Seungkwan being pregnant and his maybe, potential, kinda, sorta love interest, if his own sister didn’t get along with him, it would trouble him in the long run. 

 

And he really was in it for the long run.

 

So that’s how we find Hansol worrying about how their Lunar New Year dinner would go.

 

Jeonghan had insisted on having a traditional dinner, particularly because the Choi’s usually didn’t get together as they had a mixed family, and the Yoon family had a complicated relationship, and as Seungkwan hadn’t mentioned anything about having New Years at his family home, he was invited to take part in the first official Yoon-Choi Lunar New Year. As a newly engaged couple, they decided to spend it together with their own little family. Even though Sanha had decided he would have Lunar New Year with Rocky and the Parks, he had promised to spend it with them next year. 

 

And in order to have a fully traditional New Year, Jeonghan required all of them to wear traditional hanboks. So Hansol and Seungcheol dug out theirs from storage, while Sofia went to rent one, as she didn’t bring one with her. Jeonghan went out to buy one with Seungkwan, who had slept over with Moonbin, who was stressed out about meeting Dongmin’s family for the first time during New Years. They had gone to a shop owned run by Grandma Moon, Moonbin’s grandmother. She ran a traditional hanbok shop and was more than willing to tailor some hanbok for them in the morning. Male Omegas still wore the male hanbok with pants but typically with the longer, more decorated blouse and tie, appearing more like a hybrid between the female and male hanbok. 

 

Seungcheol and Hansol’s hanbok were various shades of blue and they were setting the table as they hear a knock on the door.

 

Hansol runs over to the door and is met with his current greatest fear. (Because his longterm greatest fear was drowning when he least expects it.) Sofia, Jeonghan, and Seungkwan are together at the door. They wave goodbye to Moonbin and his brother who had driven them home.   
  
“Ah,” Hansol says as he hesitates in the doorway, noticing the three of them are laughing together, “you’re all together?”   
  
“Yeah,” Sofia replies, “I finished getting my hanbok early, and Grandma Moon’s shop was nearby, so I met them and Taeil oppa offered to give me a ride back when he stopped by to pick them up.”

 

Hansol steps aside and the three of them enter and head to their various rooms to change. Hansol stays there by the door with his mouth hanging open.

 

Seungcheol sidles up to his younger brother. He closes the door and tells him to finish placing the table.

 

“You good, Sol?”   
  
“Yeah.”

 

“You know, odds are, Sofia and Kwannie will get along, you know? Sofia is a people person and Seungkwan is the sweetest kid I know.”   
  


“I know. But still. I wouldn’t feel comfortable if my own family didn’t like Seungkwan. Even if I never grow the guts to ask him out or he never likes me back, he’s family now. And it’d tear me apart if they don’t get along. Wait, what about our parents? Do you think dad will like him? What about mom? Mom can’t even speak Korean, how will they speak to ea-”

 

“Woah, woah, woah, slow down. I don’t think that will be an issue, and we probably won’t even face that until a while later. But they get along as far as we’ve seen. Not an issue.”   
  
“But what about the baby? Do you think Sofia will be, like, okay with that? She’s young, and I don’t want her to have to know about things like that, but I also don’t want her to not accept the baby. If Seungkwan is family, then so is the baby.”   
  
“Mom and Dad raised both of us well enough that we are understanding of people in Seungkwan’s position. Neither of us judge people for things that they can’t control. They raised Sofia the same, so I’m sure she will be very accepting of Seungkwan.”   
  
“Alright, hyung. Hopefully you’re right. I know Sofia is easy to get along with, but I worry because Seungkwan is still sensitive around Alphas, particularly new ones.”

 

“Cheollie ya!” Jeonghan calls as he exits their room, adorned in his bright pink hanbok. It drapes delicately on his slim frame and he looks like an angel.

 

He runs towards Seungcheol as he turns and jumps into his arms. Seungcheol barely manages to catch him in the sudden attack, but he dutifully hold his fiancé as he wraps his legs around his waist and smacks a big kiss on his forehead.

 

“Happy Lunar New Year, dear.” He says as he leans down to press their foreheads together. 

 

“Happy Lunar New Year, my lovely fiancé.”

 

“Ew, oppa, you two are gross.” Sofia says as she steps out in her hanbok. It’s a light green color that gives her a very fresh look. 

 

Before Hansol can even join his sister in yelling at their older brother, Seungkwan exits his room. His hanbok isn’t even fully tied, but he still manages to take away Hansol’s breath away. 

 

“Ah, can someone help me with this?” 

 

Before Hansol can make a move, Sofia runs over to him and takes the long ties from his hands. She ties them deftly and dusts off his shoulders.

  
“Oppa, you look so pretty in this.”   
  
Hansol can’t help but hum in agreement. Seungkwan’s hanbok is a light pink, lighter than the blush currently on the Omega’s cheeks. With the way that the hanbok lies, it skims over his little belly, almost concealing his pregnancy. 

  
  


~~~~~~~~

  
  


After the meal, Seungcheol heads to the bathroom.

 

Sofia leans back in her chair and holds her stomach. “Ahhhhh, I ate way too much. Look at me, I look pregnant.” She groans.

 

Seungkwan mimics her as he adds, “Me too. Sof, how far along? Five months?” He says as he rubs his belly.

 

“Ha ha, only four. Are you saying I look fat? Besides, you certainly look farther along than me.”   
  
“Gasp, how could you. I’m not even halfway through!” Seungkwan says looking feigning offense. 

 

Jeonghan is laughing with them, but Hansol’s previous concerns resurface, stressing that maybe he should have let Sofia know beforehand. He’s not sure if this joking about pregnancy is okay or not. But then he’s hit by an even bigger glow.

 

“You know, oppa, I actually had a conception dream a few weeks ago, actually back in October or November, I think.”

 

“Really? Oh, do tell me more,” Jeonghan adds. 

 

“I was walking down a jade path in the middle of a forest until I reached a small spring. There were hallabong trees and they were blooming. Then a crane approached me with a necklace of little stone statues.”

 

“Oh, like the dol harubang? From Jeju? That’s quite a detailed conception dream, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah, clearly it means something.”   
  
“Oh my god! Sofia! Are you pregnant?” Hansol shouts as he shoots up from his seat. The other three at the table stare at him in disbelief, until Sofia calms him down.

 

“No, Sollie, I’m not. I’m not even dating anyone right now, and I’m not really interested in sleeping with anyone yet.” She turns her attention towards the other two at the table. “Oppa, I think we should stop this.”

 

Jeonghan stands and Sofia helps Seungkwan up. Seungkwan heads over to Hansol and gently pets his upper arm in a soothing way.    
  
“Sollie, Fia knows I’m pregnant. We were just messing with you. Hannie hyung mentioned that you were stressed out about us getting along and about her finding out I was pregnant. She arrived at Grandma Moon’s when I was changing, so she could tell right away. She told us about the dream she had, and Grandma Moon said it must have been for the baby. Hallabong and dol harubang? Jeju? Me? It’s obvious. I never had a conception dream, because Sofia had it!”   
  
“Yeah, we’re practically family then!” Sofia exclaims as she hugs Seungkwan.

 

Hansol doesn’t realize he’s holding until he collapses back into his seat. Seungkwan and Sofia already managed to prank him, and while he does wish that at least one of them would prefer to help HIM prank the other, he can’t help himself from smiling. 

 

“So I’m going to be an aunt, right? When is the little bean coming?”

 

Seungkwan laughs. “Would you believe that’s exactly what your brother calls her too? But I’m due some time in July I think, right?”   
  
Hansol nods while Jeonghan grunts in confirmation.

 

“Aww, so you’re actually like,” Sofia counts on her fingers for a moment, “like five months, then?”

 

“Yeah, something like that. I honestly don’t understand how they calculate it. The moment you think about it, it gets too complicated.”   
  
“Hmmm, glad I don’t have to worry about that for another few years, right Cheollie oppa?”

 

Seungcheol was returning from the bathroom and asks, “Worry about what?”

 

“Having a baby.” Sofia remarks nonchalantly.

 

Seungcheol chokes as he heads to the sofa to join Sofia and Seungkwan. “You mean wait another few decades? Sofia, I swear, if you find have a baby before you turn 35, I will be going to jail for murder!”   
  
“Calm down, I’m kidding. Anyway, Kwannie, so tell me, when do I get to meet the dad?”

 

Hansol’s whole heart drops through his stomach as his head jerks around to see Seungkwan’s face pale in an instant. He berates himself for not preparing for this question to come up. Everyone else had either known about Taewon before or been told by Seungkwan soon after meeting him. 

 

Taewon.

 

It was Taewon that he really forgot about.

 

Because most days, if not almost all days were good days for Seungkwan recently. So rarely did thoughts of him come up, that Hansol forgot that maybe he should make sure his sister doesn’t ask about him, or at least knows to be sensitive about it.

 

When Seungkwan hesitates, Sofia pushes a bit. “Oh, is there drama? I love drama?” She looks excited for a second, before catching the shift in the room. 

 

“...Oh, wait…. Seungkwan, I’m sorry, if I stepped over a line, you don-”   
  
“Sofia.” Seungkwan grabs her hand, and he takes in a calming breath. “Don’t worry about it. We just met. But he’s gone. Dead, actually. And it’s fine. I can tell you more. Later, though. Maybe over some drinks at the café by the convenience store by the corner? Maybe some cakes too? The little bean is hungry.”

 

Sofia looks up at Seungkwan with her eyes watering. She can clearly feel that Seungkwan was feeling stress and trying to make her feel better. She squeezes back on his hand, intertwining her fingers with his long delicate ones. 

 

“Don’t worry, Sof, It’s just… complicated.”  
  
_Complicated._   
  
Sofia glances towards Hansol.

 

_ Didn’t he say that the one he liked was also… complicated?  _

  
  


~~~~~~~

 

Chan’s birthday was at the bar. By the bar, they meant that one college town bar that let in almost anyone, didn’t card, was generally more friendly towards people of all orientations, and tended to sell drinks a little more cheaply.

 

So of course, that’s how Chan wants to spend his 20th birthday. How else would he be able to get all of his younger friends into his party? And he was ready to drink and wasn’t concerned with remembering how much he drank.

 

Not to mention he was friends with Wonho who worked here and the owner of the bar owed him a few favors, so he was able to get him and his friends a table on the upper floor and a few bottles of Patron and Grey Goose. 

 

And that’s how Chan and Minho and Hyunjin and Mark and Chenle  _ and _ Jeongin  _ and  _ Eric  _ and  _ Hyunjoon  _ and  _ Sunwoo  _ an…  _ Well, let’s just say that everyone that Chan knew--and that was a lot of people--showed up to drink the bar dry. Particularly the ones who usually couldn’t get into a bar. Basically every single freshman and high schooler he knew was here. Even the one tall new half Korean kid, Conan or something? But it definitely didn’t seem like he was an experienced drinker, so he clearly needed to watch over him. At least until a taller boy with a squishy face was there to catch him when he actually toppled over. 

 

Back to his other friends, that he should be more or less responsible for, who are currently all over the bar and the dance floor and the upper floor.

 

He’s pretty sure he sees Sunwoo and Minho taking  _ another _ shot before perhaps gathering strength to go talk to certain boys. 

 

Sanha is definitely in one of the booths, on top of Rocky, making out with the passion of, like, a thousand suns. 

 

Hyungwon had finally arrived and was simply sitting at the bar, sipping on something and gazing delicately at Wonho, who was behind the bar, making drinks in a tank top, his arms out for the world to see. 

 

And then there were his more embarrassing friends of course. Because Sanha and Rocky were unfortunately not the embarrassing ones. 

 

Because his brothers were there too. And they were drunk off their asses. And they were also there with their boyfriends. Which in combination meant they were bound to go overboard. 

 

So, while Seungcheol and Jeonghan seemed to think that the limit of public displays of expression were grinding lightly while sitting on the other’s lap, both Seokmin and Soonyoung found themselves getting a very saucy lapdance while sitting in chairs arranged just so they could make just enough eye contact to communicate in that weird way they could.

 

And Jihoon and Joshua seemed to be battling it out on who would win as King of Lapdances. And by win, they meant the first one to get his boyfriend to either cum in his pants or drag them to the bathroom to finish privately.

 

And to most of the surprise of most of the onlookers in the bar, Joshua seema to be winning. He might give off a very maternal, warm vibe at first, but any close friend would tell you that Joshua was a snake. And when it came to a competition, he was going to win. Even to the detriment of his dearest boyfriend.

 

And by the looks on Seokmin’s face, Joshua is about to win. Until Seokmin stands up abruptly and grabs Joshua’s hand, practically dragging him to the bathroom.

 

Joshua sends Jihoon and Soonyoung a smug wink before disappearing into the bathroom.

 

Chan takes a moment to do a handle pull from their… third? bottle of Patron, wiping his mouth and looking around at the success of his birthday.    
  
Sofia is dancing with Jeongin and Jisung, Rocky’s younger brother, and Jisung. The three of them are teaching Jeongin how to body roll. And Chan would be more concerned if it wasn’t for the fact that bascially all his friend were gay and the look on Hyunjin’s face as he tightly clenched his fists to try and calm himself down. 

 

“More shots!” Someone yells, and then suddenly a bunch of his friends rush to the bar and Chan joins them. 

 

He sees that Hansol had actually left Seungkwan’s side for once in the evening and is taking part. Not that he doesn’t like Seungkwan and Hansol or anything like that. But Seungkwan can handle himself fine and there’s plenty of people here to make sure nothing happens to him. They all share in the responsibility with watching out for him now. 

 

~~~

 

They’ve been at the bar for about an hour now. Seungkwan made sure that he convinced Hansol to go and have some actual fun. Not that Seungkwan wasn’t fun. He knew he was a great person to be around, but this was a bar and it was Chan’s birthday. He never got super close to him when he was hanging out with Seokmin years ago, but he knows that Hansol and Chan are close and he doesn’t want him to miss out on the fun because he refuses to leave his side for whatever reason.

 

So he shoves Hansol out of the booth at their upstairs reserves table, and Hansol heads down the stairs to initiate some shots with the rest, but not without ensuring that Seungkwan was comfortable and not too hot and that he used his jacket as a cushion because he thought the bench was too hard.

 

And it wasn’t like he was leaving him alone. Moonbin was keeping him company and Jisung and Seokmin recently joined him. Seokmin had enough of the party and needed to calm down after what Joshua did to him in the bathroom, and Jisung wasn’t feeling well. He definitely already drank too much.

 

“Jisungie, do you want some water? I can go ask Wonho for a pitcher of water or juice or something.”

 

“Ah, it’s fine, Seokmin hyung. I just need to sit for a moment,” Jisung says as he covers his mouth with his hand.

 

“Well, I’m going to get water, and I’m fine, Binnie, I can get it myself. Plus I need to stretch my legs a bit. You and Sollie just get so jumpy when I try to do anything.”

 

Seungkwan heads over to the stairs and down to the main floor. He can see most of the younger kids taking shots and dancing. He hopes that he’ll be able to join and maybe even drink a little after he has his baby. Even if he will have to be a parent, he’s sure that with the help and all his friends, he’ll still be able to find some time to have those teenager-y experiences he missed out on for the longest time.

 

But for now, he’s fine just waiting at the bar while Wonho makes many colorful cocktails and pours dozens of shots. He doesn’t mind watching him gracefully shift between the customers and the vast collection of booze lining the wall behind him. He didn’t mind waiting at all.

 

Until he can feel a presence besides him.

 

“You here alone,  _ Omega _ ?”

 

He turns to see a large Alpha standing too close to him and emanating some powerful cologne and pheromones. Seungkwan shuffles a little closer to the bar. 

 

“No, actually most of the people here are my friends. It’s my friend Chan’s birthday.” Seungkwan doesn’t like the way the Alpha is standing so close. 

 

“Oh, well, are you  _ with _ anyone, then?” The Alpha lears closer. He leans forward to place a hand on the junction of his shoulder and neck.

 

“I’m not.” Seungkwan doesn't like the implication. He tries to step back to get him to remove the guy’s hand and brushes his hand on his sweater, trying to make it casually more obvious that he’s pregnant. “But it’s a bit more complicated….”

 

“Oh, but it doesn’t have to be, baby.” The Alpha takes a sidestep and ends up blocking him in between the bar and the wall. He starts to lean in, hands going to his neck and his waist. He can smell the alcohol on his breath as he leans down to scent him. Seungkwan finds himself tensing, unable to even call for one of his friends.

 

“Hey, man, how are you doing?”

 

“What?” The Alpha draws away a bit to look at the newcomer. He’s not as tall or as muscley as the Alpha, but he still has an air of Alpha around him. 

 

“I just wanted to ask what you were talking about with my boyfriend.”   
  
“He said he wasn’t  _ with _ anyone.”

 

“Yeah, because I was just dropping by to say hi. He’s here with…”

 

“My friends, for Chan’s birthday.” Seungkwan interjects, eager for an excuse to get this Alpha away from him.

 

“Yeah. I’m not as close with CHan and his friends, but I figured, why not say hi to my sweetie pie.”   
  
“Alright, alright, sorry, man. I’ll back off your turf.”

 

And with that, the Alpha retreats back into the crowd.

 

“Hey, thanks for that. But you don’t have to stick around…”   
  
“I do actually. I don’t want him to come back. It wouldn’t feel right to leave when he hasn’t left the bar yet. He can only get more drunk, you know? Actually, can I get you a drink?”   
  
“I’m just trying to grab some water for a friend actually. Besides, I’m…” Seungkwan gestures down towards his belly. “So I’m not exactly drinking.”   
  
“Ah, right. So, you mentioned you were here with your friends, is your partner here too?”   
  
“I don’t have one.”   
  
“Oh, I hope that didn’t seem too much like a pickup line, I really just want to make sure you have some people nearby to keep a watch out in case that creep comes back. Really! Not that I wouldn’t like want to ask you out, because you’re actually really cute. But I’m not trying to get with you right now or anything. Oh gosh, I bet I sound like I’m lying now, huh?”   
  
Seungkwan chuckles. This nervous big Alpha is such a juxtaposition to the overwhelmingly masculine aura of the previous one. And he isn’t bad looking either. Plus, he seems genuinely concerned for him and he does really appreciate him stepping in.

 

“Seungkwan.” He sticks out his hand.

 

“What?” The Alpha looks up from his hands.    
  
“My name. Boo Seungkwan.”

 

“Ah,” the taller takes his hand in his. “Kang Hwanseok.”   
  
“Alright, Kang Hwanseok. If you can get Wonho’s attention and some water, we can return to the safety of my table.”   
  
A few minutes later and Seungkwan slides into the booth upstairs with Hwanseok in tow. He sets the pitcher of water on the table with a bunch of cups. After explaining what happened at the bar, Seokmin and a drunk Soonyoung and Wonwoo thank him profusely for looking out for their friend, while Jisung groans from where his head is resting on the table.

 

Hwanseok’s phone goes off and after a quick conversation, he gets up.    
  
“Sorry, but I have to go pick up a friend from a bar. Apparently he got too drunk and needs to be taken home. But, Seungkwan, it was great to meet you. Sorry it had to be under those circumstances. But, if it’s okay with you, can I have your number so we can meet up again some time?”   
  
After a pause, he adds, “Or I can give you mine, so you can decide to message me if you want.”

 

Seungkwan nods his head slowly while pulling his phone out of his pocket. He hands it over to Hwanseok.

  
He takes a few moments to type it in and add his name. He hands it back to Seungkwan and leaves with a smile and a wave.

 

“Seungkwan, did that guy really just give you his number?” Jisung asks in a confused daze. The rest of the guys at the table also look at Seungkwan incredulously.

 

“Not that, you know, you aren’t one good piece of ass, you know, but, like, that Alpha…. Guys, help me out. That whole thing was kinda weird, right?” Jisung flails towards the others.

 

They all murmur in agreement. Once again, as Jisung said so eloquently, Seungkwan sure was one fine piece of ass. Especially as he was starting to regain some of the fat in his body and it did fill him out a bit so far. But really, what Jisung meant to say, so Seungkwan hopes, is that the way he behaved was very un-Alpha-like. Not that all Alphas had to act one way, but there was a reputation for lone Alphas at bars to be a very stereotypical aggressive and ostentatious wildcard. Attacks by drunk Alphas on separated Omegas at bars had grown so frequent that an actual legal statue was put in place to aid in the prosecution of these perpetrators.

 

So the fact that this rather large and muscular Alpha, who was seemingly alone at this bar, not only scared off another hormonal Alpha without violence, but then protected and ensured that the Omega was able to get back to the safety of his friends, only to simply ask for his number at the end of the night, was truly an example of an Alpha rarely seen on nights like these.

 

Sure, you could find a decent Alpha to grind on, hook up with, and do it all with complete consent, but most still thought about themselves first.

 

They’re all broken out of thought when Jisung shoves past an almost sleeping Wonwoo, disturbing him where he rested his head on Soonyoung’s shoulder, to rush down the stairs. 

 

“So?” Seokmin asks.

 

“So what?” Seungkwan asks back, even though it’s obvious what he wants to talk about.

 

“Are you going to message your mysterious bar savior?” Seokmin adds an eyebrow wiggle for emphasis.

 

“Yeah, Kwan. You know you don’t have to, but if you chose to, I would say he’s on track to gain our approval.”

 

“Soonyoung hyung, who said anything about getting your approval?”

 

“Well,” Soonyoung flashes a brief glance at Seokmin, before diving into his old grandma voice. “Grandma just wants the best for you, dear, right, honey?”

 

“Yes, of course, Seungkwannie,” Seokmin is ready with his Grandpa impression, not missing a beat. “Grandma and I wouldn’t approve of just anybody for our dearest Seungkwannie.”   
  


“Dear, dear, I heard that our dearest Seungcheol is finally getting married.”   
  
“Ah, but Grandma, his betrothed never came to us and asked for his gentle hand in marriage. I guess we know what we’ll have to do, Grandma.”

 

“Object at the wedding. I know, I know, Grandpa, but maybe that’s not such a good idea. I think we should simply crash the reception.”

 

“But Grandma, we’re invited to the reception. How would we crash it?”

 

“We don’t know if we’re invited yet, technically. For all we know, w-” Soonyoung doesn’t have the chance to finish his bit, because Jihoon is dragging Jisung up the stairs and calls for him.

 

“Soonie, I think we should take this one home. He’s had too much. And he lives near you and Seok.”

 

“Alright, babe. But we can’t drive. We’ve both been drinking.” Soonyoung gathers his things, which he had thrown around the booth when he sat down a while earlier.

 

“Not a problem, I ordered a cab. And we can pick the car up tomorrow.” Jihoon says as he shifts Jisung to share the weight between the two of them.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Jihoon hyung!” Seokmin calls as the couple makes their way down the stairs, with Jisung dangling between them. 

 

Jihoon grunts in response, as they hear Soonyoung reason that if they’re already going to be close to his and Seokmin’s place, he might as well stay over. 

 

Seungkwan switches to the other side of the booth so he can cuddle up with Seokmin and Wonwoo as he waits for people to either get too tired or too drunk and decide to go home. 

 

Seokmin slings an arm around him and rests the other on his belly, allowing Seungkwan to nestle up even closer, feeling comforted by the warmth of his hand and his reassuring smile.

 

“But seriously, Kwannie. I know it’s tough for Omegas out there, but I think you should go for it if you want to.”   
  
“I’ll keep that in mind. You know it’s been a long time since I actually, like, went on a date, though.” Seungkwan says, the droning of the music from the floor below becoming white noise.   
  
“Oh, don’t worry about that at all. You know Soonie hyung and I would never ever let you go on a first date without us at most ten meters away.”

 

Seungkwan had always known that his friends had his back. He never really doubted it. But maybe he had let it slip his mind a bit when he was under Taewon’s control. But, more and more, he knows that he’s becoming more and more the person Taewon had been keeping him from being. Free. Independent. Loved.

 

He’s never felt more loved than now.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do leave me comments and ideas. I need motivation to keep going right now because my new job is exhausting.
> 
> But also share ideas for some cute dates or what FRIENDships you want to see develop, I really want to focus some more on relationships besides the ship ships, you know?
> 
> Also comments really do make my day, so if you can take the time to say something nice, it will definitely make me want to write more quickly
> 
> But also, don't think that I will drop this story otherwise  
> I have WAAAAAAYYYY too much outline and time spent thinking about this story while in my public daily life to not see this through
> 
> Also if you want any side stories to go more in depth with certain characters plotlines or past, comment that too, I'm open to making a few spinoffs(?)


	17. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bless the comment who asked for a date because here it is! I hope you like it and hopefully any dates I write in the future (for any ship) will only improve

Hansol doesn’t remember much from the night before. Not that he’s thinking about it too hard. His head hurts way too much to think about any one thing too long. 

 

He tries to open his eyes, but the lights are too bright. He realizes he’s not in his own room. He’s in the living room,  so he must not have made it back to his room.

 

He can hear sounds coming from the kitchen. Maybe it’s still morning?

 

He opens his eyes and he can see a mop of messy dark hair from the angle he’s at. 

 

So it’s either his brother or Josh hyung or Seungkwan.

 

A few minutes Hansol just spends listening to the quiet clanking around the kitchen. Then he hears the person in the kitchen heading towards the sofa. He hears a plate being set on the coffee table and chances opening his eyes again. 

 

It’s Seungkwan. He’s made breakfast clearly. Crepes? With bananas and cream. He clearly must have been cooking for a while by the looks of the plate before him.

 

But still, that’s not what catches his eye. 

 

The sight of Seungkwan, fresh in the morning, hair mussed from sleep and wearing just an old oversized T-shirt of his. 

 

He can’t help but feel so domestic. Anyone who says being domestic is overrated is wrong. But he must have stared too long, because Seungkwan notices.

 

“Hansol, you’re up! Are you okay?”

 

“Yea- actually, arg, my head is spinning.” He stops trying to sit up. Seungkwan hands him a glass and a pill.

 

“Take this, it’ll help with your headache. Honestly, I don’t know how you didn’t die last night. The party was winding down when you decided to do a fresh row of shots. I’m surprised that Wonho even let you do them. Chan thought you lost your mind.”

 

Hansol can see concern in his soft features. He takes a moment to appreciate the gently slope of his cheek that came with the weight has been gaining gradually over the last few weeks.  _ A bit less than a kilo a week, _ the doctor had advised, knowing that was on the higher side but also expecting Seungkwan wouldn’t manage to hit it entirely. 

 

“I don’t remember anything after the handle pull of vodka. But I swear, it was Felix’s friend, or maybe Mark’s friend? Someone who knew one of our friends dared me to. Ahhh, hold on, I think I’m going to throw up.”   
  
“Hold on!” Seungkwan rushes back to the kitchen and returns with a large bowl. He holds it in front of Hansol just as he starts to throw up. In between gagging, Hansol tries to tell Seungkwan to leave him be, but he’s not having any of it.

 

“You never once let me go through my morning sickness alone if you could help it, so don’t think I’m going to let you be hungover from drinking irresponsibly alone.” Seungkwan says with a stern face.

 

“While that’s not at all a comparable situation, I’ll let it slide.” Hansol retorts. He threw up all that was left in his stomach, until he was just gagging on spit. Even if it still vaguely tasted like alcohol. “I can’t believe you went through this for months. I don’t like throwing up even once.”   
  
“Well, be thankful you’re an Alpha, then.” Seungkwan throws back at him, making Hansol wince a bit at the comment. Of course, he’d never have to experience morning sickness, because he’d never be able to get pregnant. And it wasn’t really Seungkwan’s choice to have to go through it.

 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s over anyway. I’m rarely nauseous anymore, unless it’s eggs or Doritos. I really just can’t handle very specific smells right now. But here, let me help you sit up, so you can get some real food in you.”

 

Seungkwan slides a hand under Hansol’s neck to help guide him into a sitting position, wrapping the blanket around them and he slides in next to him.

 

“Have you always known how to make crepes?”   
  
“No, I learned from Mingyu the other day actually.”   
  
Hansol cuts a piece of the breakfast food, holding out to Seungkwan to eat first. Seungkwan gives him a look before accepting the bite.

 

“Oh, wait, really? When did you and Mingyu start hanging out?”

 

“Why, are you jealous?” Seungkwan pauses when Hansol drops a piece of crepe onto the blanket.

 

“Sollie, stay here,” Hansol was trying to stand up, but Seungkwan beats him to the punch when he darts up, as quickly as a pregnant person can, which is apparently faster than a dangerously hungover individual.

 

As he returns from the kitchen, Hansol notices a specific difference in the other’s gait. He’s definitely leaning a bit differently than usual.

 

“Seungkwan,” Seungkwan halts in front of him. “Are you… waddling?”

 

Seungkwan flushes. “Stop looking. It’s embarrassing. I noticed it earlier, too. I’m getting fat. I can’t even walk normal.”

 

Seungkwan moves to wipe up the cream from the blanket, but Hansol covers his hand with his. “Kwannie, you know that’s not true. Talk to me, please?”

 

He hesitates. “I mean, I know I should be expecting it. But I also feel like it shouldn’t take me by surprise. It makes me feel like… I don’t know. It makes me realize how unprepared I was before. Because this is something else I didn’t know. I didn’t know because I had never made it this far before.”   
  
“Well, this is simply a sign that you’re growing well and gaining enough weight to keep the little bean healthy.”

 

“I shouldn’t keep feeling this way. I keep having these moments where I can’t help but be weak like this.”   
  
Hansol takes the paper towel from Seungkwan’s hand and sets it on the table. “Seungkwan, look at me. You and I know that you are incredibly strong. And it’s okay for strong people to feel weak. But… wait, Kwannie, don’t cry.” Hansol reaches up to wipe a tear away.

 

“No, it’s not you, it’s me. Really. My mood swings have gotten worse recently. I think that’s why I got so upset about that stuff just now. But I will make a note of it. So I can talk about it with my therapist, you know? And he did say to let myself feel these emotions, too, because I spent so long trying to feel nothing.” Hansol lifts the blanket to allow Seungkwan to sidle up next to him.

 

“I’m sure you’ve been told, but it’s okay to feel these things. You just have to give yourself the chance to figure out why. Besides…” Hansol wraps an arm around Seungkwan as the smaller leans into his side. “I think it’s cute….”

 

“My waddling? You think it’s cute I’m fat?” Seungkwan asks with a humourless chuckle.

 

“No, I think your waddling is cute because you look like a little penguin.” Hansol grabs one of Seungkwan’s hands in his free hand. He unfurls one finger at a time and presses their palms together. “You’re five months pregnant.” He wiggles his fingers against Seungkwan’s to emphasize the  _ five _ . “And you’ve gained weight to both be healthy for yourself and be a great mother to little bean.” Hansol rubs gentle circles into his side. “And there is no doubt to the fact you’re cute. That’s just a given.”

 

 Seungkwan blushes as he reaches for the remote. He turns on the TV. “Can you play The Office?”   
  
“Yeah.”   
  
A few minutes into the episode, Seungkwan speaks up. “I met someone.” He sees Hansol’s confusion. “At the bar, last night. He stopped another Alpha from, like, you know, and he was really nice and gave me his number if I wanted to contact him.”

 

“Oh. I’m glad he didn’t let anything happen to you.”

 

Seungkwan turns to watch Hansol, who keeps his face towards the TV.

 

“Do you think I should text him?”

 

He can see him swallow hard before replying, “If you want to. You shouldn’t if you feel like he’s expecting you to.”

 

“I might. Seokmin hyung told me that if I went on a date with him, he and Soon hyung would stick nearby, in case.”   
  
“You shouldn’t go if you think there’s going to be an ‘in case’, Kwan.” Hansol chances a look downwards. “And he knows you’re…”

 

“Yeah, I didn’t hide it at all.”   
  
Hansol can’t even breathe. He knows that he is amazing. And he knows that eventually, other people will catch on to that. Other Alphas. But he never imagined that one of those Alphas would have the audacity to make a move. Not on Seungkwan.  _ Not on hi- _

 

No, because Seungkwan is not his. He would never be his, because he can’t lay a claim to him. Seungkwan is completely free to meet and date people. Even people who aren’t  _ him _ . 

 

“If you think he’s worthy of your time, then you should send him a text. But promise me something.”   
  
“Anything.” Seungkwan says without missing a beat. He sticks out his pinky finger. 

 

“Make sure you don’t hide things about him and you talk about anything that makes you uncomfortable or confused. It can be with anyone, me, SeokSoon, Moonbin, your therapist, but just… don’t hide anything. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if something happened to you again.”

 

“Alright. I promise.” He intertwines his pinky with Hansol’s, but before he can let go, Hansol sticks up his thumb. 

 

“You gotta stamp it with a kiss.” He jerks his head towards his thumb. 

 

Seungkwan smiles and presses his thumb against Hansol’s. “You’re such a dork.”   
  


Seungkwan leans back to lean against the couch. 

 

_ Yeah, but I’m your dork. _

 

“Can you rewind the show a little?”   
  
Hansol scrolls back the episode until he can remember what was just happening. He turns to Seungkwan holding out another fork of banana crepe.

 

“Come on. Open your mouth. It’s my turn to take care of you. And don’t think I didn’t notice the bananas. Twenty weeks. I get it. My baby is as big as a banana now. Now say ‘ah’.”

 

And so, Hansol and Seungkwan spent the rest of the morning sharing crepes and watching tv, until Hansol had to get ready for class.

 

~~~~~

 

Seungkwan is nervous.    
  
He had texted Hwanseok a few days ago, after Hansol had gone to class. And Hwanseok had texted back shortly after. They messaged back and forth for a little while, just talking about their days. Hwanseok is two years older and has been working at a big tech company since graduation. He lives in Gangnam with a few friends, and the friend who he left that night to take care of was an Omega who had been drugged by his date that night. But he was fine now, and definitely wouldn’t be seeing that guy again.

 

Then Hwanseok had asked if they could meet sometime soon. Seungkwan responded asking, if it was, like, a date. Hwanseok replied that, yep, definitely as a date.

 

Seungkwan didn’t even realize that he had sent back a yes, until Hwanseok was sending back a time and place. It worked for Seungkwan and he confirmed it. 

 

And now, Seungkwan was sitting at the book cafe in the mall, waiting for Hwanseok to arrive. And maybe he was a little early, but it didn’t help that Soonyoung and Seokmin, who indeed did tag along, were too eager to get to the date.

 

Seungkwan had been about to message Hansol to let him know about his date, but something kept him from sending the message, so instead he sent a quick message to his group with the two of them. Almost immediately the SeokSoon of BooSeokSoon responded with a plethora of emojis and nonsense words, and they continued until they both burst through his front door.

 

They refused to leave him alone until he agreed to let them accompany him on the date. As long as they remained at least 10 meters away. And didn’t interrupt unless they felt like Seungkwan was in danger or Seungkwan sent them the signal. A bird call. Because somehow that would be a natural thing to do if the date went south.   
  
And of course, they interrogated him about Hwanseok. Not that he knew much. But from what they heard, they were satisfied that he was a working adult and took care of his friends. 

 

So Seokmin and Soonyoung can be found on the other side of the cafe, hiding conspicuously behind some large encyclopedias. They are both wearing camo. Soonyoung is holding the binoculars, and Seokmin has a backpack full of “rations”. 

 

Then Seungkwan hears someone clearing his throat behind him. He turns to find Hwanseok, clad in jeans and a bright yellow hoodie. He has a small tangerine plushie. 

 

“Hey, Seungkwan, this is for you.” He hands the plushie to Seungkwan, running his other hand nervously through his own hair.

 

“Oh! Thanks, it’s really cute. And I love oranges, too,” Seungkwan says with a blush.

 

“I hope it isn’t too much. I wanted to get you something for our first date,” Hwanseok rushes. “But I wanted to get you something later, maybe let you pick something out, but my friends insisted I don’t come empty handed. Some outdated notion about showing I’m a prosperous Alpha or some bullshit, oh shit. I didn’t mean to swear, really. Oh geez….”   
  
Hwanseok covers his red face with his hand. Seungkwan just chuckles.

 

“Don’t worry. I like it.” Seungkwan gives the orange a little squeeze.

 

“Good, I hoped you would. You smell like oranges, so I hoped you like the fruit as well.” He says casually before groaning again. “Oh gosh, was that creepy?”   
  
“I mean, a little. But it’s not like you were sniffing my neck in a bar, and we did sit next to each other at the booth for awhile. Plus I’ve been told that I have a strong scent since I’ve been… well, pregnant.” He says gesturing to his belly, just as he hears it growl.

 

And Hwanseok must have heard it as well, because he holds out his arm and suggests they go to grab some food at the food court.

 

~~~~~~~

 

Meanwhile, back at the apartment, Hansol is moping around on the sofa. He’s just laying there with a blanket and staring at the ceiling. He had gotten home an hour ago, and while he knew that Seungkwan was going on this date probably, eventually, it didn’t make him like it anymore.

 

Like, what if this guy, Hwanseok, is mean to Seungkwan. What if he doesn’t treat him well and just repeats everything that Taewon did before. He could trap Seungkwan in a relationship. What if he is actually bothered by the baby. Anything could go wrong, and sure, Seokmin and Soonyoung are there, but he’s not. He’s pretty sure he’s one of the most sensitive to changes in his scent and emotions. What if they’re too late?

 

But in Hansol’s lovesick mind, there’s a worse option.

 

He and his friends have already helped him start healing from a bad relationship, and if there’s another, then they will do it again.

 

But what is he’s everything Seungkwan needs? What if he is kind and respectful and perfect. He could be the guy who’s more than an Alpha to Seungkwan. He could sweep him off his feet, take in his child, and make him happy. He could fulfill the hole in his heart left by Taewon’s abuse. 

 

And he knows that if this is the case, Seungkwan would certainly still have all the freedom to hang out with his friends. Likely, Hwanseok would become close to them as well. He can’t see a world where Seungkwan would disappear from their lives.

 

He couldn’t stand for that.

 

But he also knows deep down that he would give anything for Seungkwan to be happy. And if watching Seungkwan go to another Alpha’s arms meant Seungkwan finding the things he wants and needs and deserves, then Hansol is willing to give up Seungkwan.

 

~~~~~

 

Seungkwan is kind of shocked at how much fun he’s having. He and Hwanseok linked arms and grabbed some bibimbap for lunch after Seungkwan almost gagged at the scent of other food. They went around and tried on fun clothes and not once did Seungkwan feel too self-conscious about his belly. Hwanseok ended up insisting he buy Seungkwan a scarf. Well, at first, it was a whole sweater, but he reasoned him down to simply the scarf.

 

They took cute photos in a photobooth and decorated it with stickers.

 

They wandered around a bit until they found a cute dessert cafe and bought some hot chocolate and a large bingsu to share.

 

They head over to the heated patio so they can eat.

 

A few moments later, Hwanseok breaks the silence.    
  
“If you don’t mind me asking, how far along are you?” He asks with a gentle smile.

 

“Oh, well, I’m five months right now. So halfway there basically.” Seungkwan smiles as he rests a hand on his belly. It barely peeks out under his sweater until he smooths it with his hand.   
  
“Oh, awesome, that means you know the gender? My older sister just had a baby, so I’m a little familiar with baby things, but I’m no expert, of course.” He adds excitedly.

 

Seungkwan finds his interest charming. “Well, I actually have my 20 week appointment in a few days, so I might find out then, as long as she’s not in a weird position.”   
  
“She? I thought you said you don’t know.”   
  
“Oops! I keep doing that. I guess I just have a feeling it’s a girl. I think I hope it’s a girl, actually.” Seungkwan looks down at his belly in worry. He can feel that fluttery feeling again.

 

“Oh, really? Why?”    
  
Seungkwan looks back to meet his warm eyes. He hesitates but he trusts him. So he continues. “I would love the baby whether it’s a boy or a girl. It’ll be my baby either way. But… if it’s a girl, then no matter their dynamic, they won’t be a male Omega….”

  
  


“Hmm….” Hwanseok’s face falls, and he leans across the table to gently grasp Seungkwan’s wrist, hoping to make it a comforting gesture. The way Seungkwan looks back at him seems like he got his point across. “I’m guessing there’s a lot more to you, huh? You’re not just the cutest and sweetest guy I’ve met. Something must have happened to you to make you feel this way.”   
  
Seungkwan moves to speak, but Hwanseok cuts him off.

 

“I don’t mean to interrupt you, but don’t feel like you need to explain your whole story to me right now. You don’t owe me any explanations. Or anything. But I will tell you that I like you, but I’m more than willing to step back if you need that. I can tell by your scent that you’ve been a little uneasy.”   
  
Seungkwan can’t believe his ears. Somehow, Hwanseok manages to mold all of his expectations, given he had none. His past dating experience with Taewon didn’t fit what anyone would consider respectful or even normal dating standards.

 

“You’re not wrong. I have been a little nervous. But not because of anything you’ve done. Just because I haven’t been on a date since my first year of high school. Dating is something really new to me, and this date with you has been great. And I would like to go on another some time.”   
  
“Well, I’d be glad to make that happen.”

 

“Oh, really?”

 

“Yeah, maybe some time I can meet your friends, too. But maybe not like this?”

 

“What do you mean?”   
  
“Are those your friends that keep following us around all day?”

 

“Oh my god, ahhh, you’re not wrong, but they were just nervous about me meeting with someone they don’t know. It’s just complicated, you know?”   
  
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I get it. And I’m glad you have friends like tha-”   
  
Hwanseok is cut off by a chiming from Seungkwan’s phone.

 

Seungkwan grabs his phone from the table. “Sorry, I wouldn’t check, but that’s a special tone for a group chat.” He slides open the phone and takes a glance as messages continue to pop up.

 

_ To: Omegas Have Swag _

 

_ Now _

 

_ Wonpil: Hey hyungs and babies _

 

_ Wonpil: Im going to talk to Woonie today _

 

_ Wonpil: Wish me luck _

 

_ Felix: Ltes gooo hyngiieee _

 

_ Jeongin: ooooooohhhhhhhhhhhmaiiiiiiiiiigaaaaaaaaahhhhh _

 

_ Hyungwon: your heat is soon right? _

 

_ Hyungwon: is that your plan???? _

 

_ Kihyun: you’re* _

 

_ Jisung: shtu up _

 

_ Hyungwon: sht up _

 

_ Hyungwon: lets keep this one _

 

_ Moonbin: let us know how it goes _

 

“Is something wrong?”

 

Seungkwan looks up at Hwanseok to see a concerned look on his handsome face.

 

“Oh no! It’s just one of my friends who’s finally going to be confessing to his crush. It's been a long time coming as far as I can tell. So we’re all actually quite excited. See, hyung?” He holds up his phone to face him, allowing him to see all the messages popping up almost too quickly to catch.

 

“Please stop calling me hyung. You can call me Hwanseok, you know?”

 

“Alright, Hwanseok,” Seungkwan smiles up at him for a moment, feeling a blush come over his cheeks. “I think he might have muted the chat while he goes to talk to him, though. I’m sure it’ll go well.”

 

Seungkwan can only imagine how happy the two of them will be when they finally get together. Wonpil recognizing that he can let Dowoon care for him and Dowoon realizing that Wonpil does, in fact, reciprocate his feelings.

 

He feels warm inside at the thought of them as a couple, and then he thinks about Hwansoek and whether the two of them had a chance to become a couple like Wonpil and Dowoon.

 

Hwanseok has been super nice and fun to hang out with today, and above all else, he’s been respectful of his past and pregnancy. Could he be a dad?   
  
Would he fit in with his friends? Would Hwanseok’s friends like him?

 

Would Hansol like him?

 

Seungkwan feels conflicted now. But besides that, he feels himself getting… a little… wet?

 

_ Oh god, is he getting wet thinking about Hwanseok right in front of the Alpha? _

 

Seungkwan can smell Hwanseok now. Either he didn’t notice it before or he’s letting out his pheromones in response to his. All Seungkwan knows is that he’d rather get away from this specific situation before too much Alpha-Omega natures come out.

 

“Seungkwan, are you okay? I’m sorry if I just misunderstood, but you had this look on your face. Want me to get you some more water?” Hwanseok moves to stand, but Seungkwan shoots up before he can scoot out his chair.

 

Hwanseok can see it in his face that he’s about to say something, but instead of words coming out of his mouth, he collapses onto the ground.

 

~~~~~~~

 

Hansol can’t help the bad feeling he has.   
  


Just a few minutes earlier, Dowoon had sent a message that Wonpil had asked to talk to him.

 

The rest of the Alphas in their small group chat had sent a lot of cheering and ‘fighting’s and encouragement. Hansol really hoped that he’d have a chance to confess to him today.

 

Dowoon usually stayed quiet until they hung out or messaged. This was one of the only places Dowoon felt comfortable enough to rant about his feelings and conflicts about Wonpil. And as much as he could complain about Wonpil and his relationship, he would always be there for the Omega anyway. He could never find it in him to bring up his concerns because he cared too much for him already.

 

He lets a moment of silence wash over him.

 

He’s still just laying on the couch, hoping that Seungkwan is having a great time, pondering how to best ignore his jealousy when a hears someone shouting outside.

 

He almost ignores it until he can make out what must be either Seokmin or Soonyoung, maybe both, yelling his name. He runs to open the door, only to be greeted with Soonyoung and Seokmin running towards the apartment while a taller man is carrying Seungkwan as carefully as he can.

 

This must be Hwanseok.

 

But something must be wrong if he’s carrying Seungkwan, so he put that to the back of his mind while he gets out of the doorway to allow the four inside.

 

Hwanseok lays him down on the couch and then fidgets around a bit while the other two panic. He looks up to make eye contact with Hansol.

 

“Hi, sorry to meet you like this, but you must be Hansol. I’m glad to meet such a good friend of Seungkwan’s, though.” He holds out his hand.

 

Hansol shakes it. As much as he’d prefer not to be friendly with Seungkwan’s potential boyfriend, he knows that he doesn’t want to push him away. He might not like him right now, but he knows that’s based purely on his feelings for Seungkwan and not on who Hwanseok is. Plus, even if he wanted to fight him, he’s like half the size of this guy and wouldn’t stand a chance.

 

“Thanks for taking care of him. What even happened?”

 

“He just stood up and fainted while we were at the mall. I wasn’t sure what to do, but thank god that they were following us around all day,” he gestures to the other two, who are now grabbing some water and talking on the phone.

 

“As much of a hassle they can be at times, they really care a lot for Seungkwan and are super reliable when it comes to serious matters. They were his two best friends in high school. Until things happened….”   
  
“Ah, gotcha. I won’t pry. I get that there were  _ things _ that happened, but Seungkwan hasn’t told me about them yet. I hope we can get to the point where he feels comfortable to share more about himself.” 

 

Hansol doesn’t have a moment to respond because Soonyoung is yelling again.

 

“I have to go to my dance class because I can’t miss another or hyung will wring my neck, but Seokmin is going to take Seungkwan to the hospital to just make sure he’s okay. It’s probably just a dizzy spell, because he stood up really suddenly at the café. Hansol, I’m sure you probably want to go with, and I’m sure it’ll be nice for Seungkwan to come to with more people he knows around. Hwanseok, thanks for helping us get him home, but I’ll have to ask you to leave because these things are really personal and we can’t invite you on Seungkwan’s behalf.”   
  
Hwanseok stands up and places a small orange plushie on the table near Seungkwan. “I totally understand. I wouldn’t want to intrude. But do message me to let me know if he’s okay. I can wait for him to fill me in on any other details, but I want to know he’s fine. And once again, I’m really grateful for you two being there to help him today. Did you need any help getting him into the car?”   
  


Seokmin looks towards Hansol and he shakes his head, wanting to assist Seungkwan himself.   
Hwanseok nods and heads out the door with Soonyoung following behind.

 

Seokmin calls out to Hansol as he gathers some things to bring with them to the hospital. “Sollie, are you okay? I know you’re probably not fond of Hwanseok, but he did help with Seungkwan a lot today, an-”

 

“I know, hyung, and I’m not angry at him. I’m just kinda upset about him. But right now, let’s get Seungkwan to the hospital. I want to make sure nothing is wrong. Or hurt from falling.”   
  
Hansol lifts under Seungkwan’s legs and back to pick him up and makes his way out to Seokmin’s car. Hansol slides into the backseat and lays Seungkwan across his lap.

 

When they get to the hospital, they meet Dr. Lim, who takes them into the ultrasound room.

 

“When you called, I figured we should make sure that the baby isn’t causing anything that would cause Seungkwan to faint.”   
  
Hansol places Seungkwan gently on the table and sees him sleepily opening his eyes. He looks around for a second, before trying to sit up. Hansol places a firm hand on his shoulder to keep him from getting dizzy again.

 

“Seungkwan, don’t worry. We got you.”   
  
“You’re here because you collapsed a little bit ago, so we’re going to make sure you didn’t develop any condition concerning your pregnancy to cause this to happen beyond simply the dizziness that can come along with pregnancy. You haven’t been feeling any other symptoms? No bleeding or pain in the abdomen?” Dr. Lim asks as he prepares the ultrasound wand.

 

“No, just a fluttering feeling. I think it’s just starting to feel the baby move. But how did I get here?” He looks around to his friends in the room.

 

“You fainted on your date with Hwanseok, and he helped me and Soon hyung get you home. We called and decided to take you here to make sure nothing was wrong.”

 

“Alright, Seungkwan, if you can lift your shirt, we can check on your baby. Once again, it’ll be a little cold.” Seungkwan lifts his sweater and reveals his belly. The doctor places the wand on the underside of his belly and moves it around a little.

 

The monitor buzzes with a fuzzy white static until it focuses on what really looks like a baby.

 

“So here we have baby, and all ten fingers and toes. So baby looks fine. But let’s check the placenta and its attachment to the uterus.”   
  
The doctor moves the wand around the perimeter of his belly, while Seungkwan starts to tear up. He looks over towards Hansol instinctually, and Hansol knows to move over and hold his hand, slipping his fingers between his and giving a light squeeze.

 

Hansol can feel himself holding his breath as he watches Seungkwan watch the black and white on the screen. Even though he’s crying, he’s still so beautiful.

 

Dr. Lim clears his throat. “Well, Seungkwan, it looks like there isn’t any abnormalities to the placenta or the baby. So I’d say that today was simply normal course of pregnancy. We can do a blood test to make sure you haven’t become anemic, but that should be a simple fix. Just a pill and some more iron-rich foods in your diet. Speaking of which, I’ve heard from your therapist that you’ve been doing really well in your sessions. Would you be okay with us checking your weight after this?”   
  
Seungkwan beams, proud of the progress he was making and nodded, knowing that he has been doing well and eating properly. 

 

“Well, with more cravings and less nausea, it’s much easier to eat well.”   
  
“Good to hear. And since you’re at 20 weeks, we can actually check the gender of the baby. I know you were supposed to come in a few days, but we can just do it now and cancel that appointment.”   
  
“Sure. Luckily enough, I actually wanted Seokmin hyung and Hansol to come with me to that appointment. Because it’s both your birthdays and I wasn’t able to find a present for you two, I wanted to share with you the baby’s gender first.”   
  
“Oh my god!” Seokmin covers his mouth with his hands.

  
“I’m sorry I couldn’t get you a better present, but because you’ll both be a part of the baby’s life, I figured it’d be good if you two were the first to know.”

 

“Seungkwan… don’t even worry about our birthday. This means so much and I couldn’t ask for more.” Seokmin tells him, while Hansol just squeezes his hand tighter.

 

“But I also don’t want to know myself. I want to be surprised. Because it doesn’t matter to me, as long as they’re healthy. But I want someone to know, so that if something happe-”   
  
“Nothing is going to happen. Of course we’ll keep it a secret until the baby comes, but nothing is going to happen to you, so don’t even think about that.” Seungkwan turns to look Hansol in the eyes. He usually doesn’t get this serious, but clearly, Hansol isn’t having any of what Seungkwan was about to say.

 

“Alright then, Doc, if you can tell what the gender is, just tell them. I don’t want to know. And you two better not let it slip.” He says accusingly, pointing the index finger of his free hand at Seokmin, realizing too late that he might be sharing this secret with one of the biggest loud mouths he knows.

 

The doctor replaces the wand on his stomach, moving it slightly as he focuses on the screen. He nods a bit to himself before placing the wand back on the tray and moves to the counter, gesturing to the other two to follow him.

 

He grabs a clipboard and writes something down, showing it to the boys. They both smile and Seungkwan swears he can see tears in both their eyes. Hansol has the biggest dumbest smile he’d ever seen him wear before. 

 

Then Hansol feels his cellphone chimes, so he glances down at his phone. It’s a message from Chan. And then another and another. He decides to check it because Chan rarely sends more messages than necessary.

 

_ To: Hansol _

 

_ Now _

 

_ Wonpil didn’t do it. _

 

_ He fucked up. _

 

_ Bin, hyik, and me are coming to u _

 

_ We need to help dopil happen _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Semi important but please let me know if you’d be interested in the story going in a more babies or less babies kind of direction. I have a lot planned out but it can change if readers would rather have it one way or another. 
> 
> Please comment below on whether there’s certain couples you want to have kids or not


	18. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more on Dopil and then Seokmin and Hansol's joint birthday

After quickly getting the printouts of the ultrasound, Hansol rushes back to their apartment with Seungkwan and Seokmin in tow. They arrive back at the apartment, only to find the door kicked off its hinges and a fuming Jeonghan screaming at Chan, Rocky, and Moonbin. 

 

“-L ME WHY YOU WOULD THINK IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO KICK DOWN OUR FUCKING DOOR!”

 

“Hyung, you need to calm down. Yeah, maybe we shouldn’t’ve kicked down the door, but-”

 

“But what? What could be so important that you couldn’t wait for me to get out of the shower?”   
  
Hansol realizes that Jeonghan is, in fact, in only his towel, and actually still has suds still in his hair.

 

“Hyung, please don’t be mad.” Jeonghan’s face softens at Chan as he usually does. Chan continues after taking a deep breath. “But basically what happened is that Dowoon had been planning to have a cute romantic night in with Wonpil because they were pretty sure his heat was supposed to come this weekend, but then Wonpil had asked him if they could talk so there stands Dowoon with some roses behind his back as Wonpil starts talking but instead of confessing like we all thought he would, he actually told him they needed to stop doing what they were doing and then ran out, and he’s actually on his way over here now, and I’m pretty sure Dowoon is heartbroken and is already planning to move out to allow Wonpil to not be burdened by him anymore when the whole reason Wonpil didn’t actually confess is because he feels like a burden…”

 

Silence falls over the rest of the people in the room, even though a few of them knew a few details of the Dopil Saga, no one realized how much Chan knew. How did he even know all of the story?

 

“How..?” Jeonghan mutters but is interrupted by a sniffle at the door.

 

Wonpil is there, standing by the broken hinges and holding back his tears. His eyes are red, and he’s clutching onto the hem of his pink sweater. 

 

“Pillie hyung?” Seungkwan murmurs.

 

“Hey guys, can I-I come in?” He asks without looking up.

 

“Of course hyung, come sit.”

 

Jeonghan grabs a glass of water from the kitchen, while Seungkwan grabs an armful of blankets, Hansol helping him so he doesn’t trip or block his view. Moonbin and Rocky rush to either side of Wonpil on the couch. 

 

Meanwhile, Chan props the door up against the doorframe, reminding himself to call his door guy later.

 

He brings a box of tissues closer to Wonpil and waits quietly for him to bring up what they’re all thinking.

 

“So… I might have fucked up….” He starts, after a few minutes of just sitting together. “I might have broken Dowoon….”

 

“You said last sleepover that you were finally going to tell him.” Jeonghan says.

 

“All I said was that I would do something about it. Jihoon had given me two options. One was to confess, but the other was to leave the situation. I chose the one that would be best for Dowoon.”   
  
“What are you saying? He loves you. How could you leaving him be better for him?” Rocky asks, confused. 

 

“If you thought that Sanha would be better off without you, wouldn’t you leave him?” Wonpil deadpans as he looks towards the young Alpha. 

 

“There’s not a situation I can imagine where either one of us would be better off without each other. I don’t want to sound dramatic, but I can only see my future with him there by my side. I’m never going to let him go.” Rocky says in the most serious tone.

 

Seungkwan and Moonbin exchange a look, remembering how Sanha had expressed similar sentiment in extremely different words. Hansol notices Jeonghan head back into the kitchen with his phone in hand.

 

“I’m glad you’re so certain. Don’t lose that. I’ve been a burden for Dowoon for the last few years, and he hasn’t had a chance to do what he really wants. I’ve been monopolizing his time for too long. He needs to be allowed to go off, study hard, be an Alpha, date around. He can’t just be tied down by his friend, just a broken Omega. I don’t deserve the way he cares for me.”

 

“Wonpil… did you break up with Dowoon hyung because you think he’s better off without you in his life, or because you think you’re broken?” Seungkwan asks, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Because you’ve all made me see that that wasn’t true about myself. And it’s not true about you either.”

 

“What’s the difference? If I’m broken then I don’t deserve to be taken care of like that. He needs to find someone he loves to take care of.” Wonpil can’t stop the tears that stream down his face.

 

Moonbin and Rocky also reach out to try and provide some comfort. “Hyung, you know that’s not true.”

 

Moonbin continues. “ Don’t cry, hyung…” He reaches up to wipe a tear from his face.

 

“Don’t!” He slaps his hand away from his face. Then his face falls again. “Don’t pretend to understand how it feels. Rocky, you and Sanha were fucking meant for each other. You should hear the way he talks about you when he’s not trying to act like he doesn’t care. And Moonbin, you and Dongmin? You broke up with him and he didn’t give up on you. He just realized how stupid he was being.” Wonpil stands up and starts to pace in front of the couch. “Seungkwan. We both know that if you just said the word, you’d have the one you really want right now. And Jeonghan, wherever he went, is already fucking engaged! Meanwhile, here I am, barely making it, broken, damaged, unfixable, in love with my best friend, and because I love him, the only thing there is to do is to let him… go…” Wonpil trails off, barely finishing his tearful monologue, eyes shining and fixed on something behind the couch.

 

“Keep going?”

 

“Dowoon…”

 

Now everyone’s eyes are fixed on Dowoon and his blotchy red face. He’s clutching a crumpled-looking bouquet of flowers.

 

“I said ‘keep going’.”

 

“What?”

 

“Why wouldn’t you continue? There’s more to that saying, you know?”   
  
“Dowoonie, what are you doing? You need to go, leave, please. Why did you come here?” Wonpiil cries in distress, clenching his fists, eyes shut.   
  
“Stop treating me like I’m just a puppy at the end of a sad movie, hyung. You can’t just send me off.”

 

Wonpil stares at Dowoon, who sniffs and wipes his nose, before he continues. “Hyung, you love me, so you let me go. But I love you, so I came back.”

 

Dowoon stands there as confidently as he can, until Wonpil all but collapses onto the ground, sitting with his feet beneath him and holding onto his chest. Dowoon rushes around the couch, and Hansol takes a moment to peak at Seungkwan.

 

_ What had Wonpil meant when he told Seungkwan that he could have the one he wants. Did Seungkwan already tell all the Omegas about his date? When did he have the time? Did it go well enough that Seungkwan has already decided to date him? _

 

Hansol tries to ignore his thoughts, seeing as there is a much more important thing happening. Dopil, as Chan would call it. 

 

But that doesn’t stop him from placing his hand just so, right where Seungkwan could easily hold it if he got overwhelmed. 

 

Because he’s a good friend. That’s it, of course.

 

“I’m sorry, so sorry. Jae hyung and Sungjin hyung both thought that I should be cool about it. I knew I shouldn’t have listened to them. But I meant what I said. I heard you say you love me. And I need to know if you really meant that.” Dowoon pleads as he gently holds Wonpil’s face in his hands, thumbs wiping away his tears. Wonpil nods. “I know you had issues believing in yourself, but I didn’t realize how much.”   
  
He lets go of his face to draw him into a tight hug. He nuzzles into his neck and starts to cry as well. 

 

“Have I not made you feel loved? Have I not been getting through to you?”   
  
“No, you always have. But that’s why I needed to let you move on. I couldn’t keep letting you waste yourself on me.”

 

“Waste myself?”   
  
“Yeah, I know you feel like you need to stay by my side, but you need to do what you want.” Wonpil pulls away from the hug, but Dowoon doesn’t let him go any further.   
  
“Hyung, Pillie, you think I’m doing all of this out of some obligation to you?” Wonpil nods again. “Well, if you can call love an obligation, then I guess you’d be right….”   
  
“...what?”

 

“What I mean to say is, I love you, Kim Wonpil. You aren’t an obligation. You aren’t a burden. You are my motivation. You’re my reason I love to study medicine. You’re my reason to work hard so I can spend time with you. I’ve loved you for a long time now, and if was going to be scared off by the demons you have troubling you, then I would’ve been gone a long time ago. I’m not going to leave you because I love you, and I’m not going to stop taking care of you because you mean the world to me.”

 

Wonpil opens his mouth but nothing comes out. Hansol feels soft fingers brush his hand, and at a quick glance, he can see Seungkwan’s hand rest atop his. He turns his hand slightly to allow him to gently hold his fingers. He feels a gentle squeeze, and he squeezes back. He can’t hold back his smile. Things are going well. 

 

“You said to do what I want.”

 

Wonpil is still speechless, so he just nods once more.

 

“I need to ask first, though. Can I kiss you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Wonpil barely gets the word out of his mouth before Dowoon draws him back into the hug, one hand snaking up behind his head to hold him closer than before. The rest of them can see, but from the angles of their heads, it’s clear that they’re kissing. After a few moments, they seem to pull back and rest their foreheads together.

 

“So, I should officially ask, would you, Kim Wonpil, like to be my boyfriend?” Dowoon asks cheekily, as he holds out the rumpled bouquet he had dropped.

 

“Well, if you’re going to drop the hyung, then I guess being my boyfriend is a good enough excuse.” Wonpil chuckles as he slings his arms around Dowoon’s shoulders.

 

“So it’s okay if I call you Pillie, like a friend?”

 

“You better.”

  
  


~~~~~

 

“Wow.” Hansol sighs.

 

“Yeah. A lot just happened.” Seungkwan adds.

 

After Dowoon has confessed and they agreed to start actually dating, their hyungs, Jae and Sungjin, who had been the ones to drive Dowoon over in the first place, drove them both back to their shared apartment. Apparently, Wonpil’s heat had been incoming, so Wonpil chose that timing so Dowoon wouldn’t have to help him again. 

 

But instead, now they were about to spend their first heat together properly. And if the way Dowoon scooped up Wonpil’s fragile body and left their apartment was any indication, then Wonpil was completely taken care of. 

 

Somehow all the things that had happened in that day meant it was already nearly midnight. Hansol is laying across the couch and Seungkwan is leaning against his chest. Their hands are still gently clasped against Seungkwan’s stomach.

 

“But I’m glad that Dopil happened.”   
  
“Dopil?”

 

“Yeah,” Hansol explains, “The couple name for Dowoon hyung and Wonpil hyung. DOwoon and WonPIL are Dopil. Ta-da!”   
  
“Oh, that’s cute. Is that what Chan meant before?”   
  
“Yeah, and we have other names for other couples too. Like Binwoo for Moonbin hyung nadn Dongmin hyung.”   
  
“Wait, where does that come from?”   
  
“That one is more complicated. But my favorite is Socky for Sanha and Rocky. It’s not a pun per say, but it sounds like the English word for s-”

 

“Socks!” Seungkwan beats him to it. He looks expectantly up at Hansol.

 

“Yeah, that’s right. Good job. You’re really working hard on English, aren’t you.” Hansol can’t help but smile at how much effort Seungkwan is putting into learning bits and pieces of English. Even if learning English meant Seungkwan spent a lot of time staring at his lips and how they formed the sounds and gave Hansol time to stare back at him and his perfect face.

 

“Yeah, well I was thinking, what if I was able to raise my baby to speak English, too? They’d be really smart and awesome and cool. Like you. And Joshua hyung too.”

 

Hansol can’t help but beam. “But your baby is going to be smart and awesome and cool because it’s your baby.”   
  
“Shut up,” Seungkwan says weakly, slapping his other hand against his stomach.

 

“But you know, now that Dopil is a thing, who knows where the Sanha, Chan, and friends will be focusing their matchmaking thoughts and energy. Even if they had literally nothing to do with them actually confessing.”

 

Hansol glances down at Seungkwan. His eyes are closed. He’s probably tired. They should probably go to bed soon. “I’m happy for Dowoon hyung. He’s always felt like an older brother to me, since he’s Jeonghan hyung and Sanha’s cousin and he’s been around ever since Jeonghan hyung and Cheol hyung have been dating. He’s always been trying to show Wonpil hyung how he feels through his actions. But he’s never been great with words. Even after seeing him go through so many hard things. He still wasn’t able to confess until he had already overheard Wonpil hyung’s feelings.”

 

“Really? Didn’t you see those flowers? He definitely had been planning to do it. But from what I heard, Wonpil hyung beat him to the punch before coming here. I’m glad that hyung was able to see that he wasn’t be selfish. To want Dowoon. That it’s okay to want him. That’s what he shared during our sleepovers. Wait! I’m not supposed to share. It’s supposed to be like what happens at sleepovers stay at the sleepovers. It’s just you so I’m sure it’ll be fine. But you can’t tell anyone, okay?”

 

Seungkwan holds out his pinky on his free hand and Hansol links his own, pressing their thumbs together to stamp the promise.

 

“Promise.”

 

“Alright, but basically, Wonpil had always been worried that he was selfish to want Dowoon. Worried that he only wanted him because he was so caring and good to him. That he was mistaking the way he took care of him for feelings and that by letting him go, he’d be able to find the one he would truly love. Even though, there they were, right in front of each other the whole time.”

 

Hansol looks back down at Seungkwan. They hadn’t turned on the TV or any lights, so they had just been laying in the darkness. Tired from the day and exhausted from everything that had happened. 

 

But somehow, Seungkwan was still glowing. He had been eating more recently, whether it be the cravings finally kicking into high gear or him healing, or a combination of both, then Hansol couldn’t be more grateful. Because seeing Seungkwan smile and his cheeks squish up to his eyes calmed something inside of Hansol. 

 

He could feel himself leaning towards Seungkwan, he couldn’t stop himself. Something about seeing their friends confess right in front of them really settled something inside him. He wants to confess. He wants to tell Seungkwan about how he feels. He wants to be able to hold Seungkwan how he wants. He wants to be able to call Seungkwan his. He wants to be the father to his child. He wants to kiss him. 

 

But he can’t. Not now. Not like this. He can’t just kiss Seungkwan. He has to know it’s okay first. Hansol stops, really just a moment away from being able to press their lips together and he draws back a bit.

 

And thank goodness he did back up then, because Seungkwan’s eyes flash open, staring right back into his.

  
“I think the baby is kicking.”

 

“Really? I know you thought you were feeling it before, but now you’re sure?” Hansol smiles at the shock in his eyes. 

 

“Yeah. I know it. This is for sure the baby. Here, feel.” Seungkwan places Hansol’s hand flat against the curve of his stomach. He then scoots it lower, probably closer to where he’s feeling the kicking sensation.

 

“You know, I’m pretty sure that once you feel h- I mean the baby kick, it’ll be awhile before anyone else can feel from the outside.”   
  
But Seungkwan is staring at him now with a stern look on his face. “You almost slipped up.”

 

“I know, I know,” Hansol laughs, “but I swear, I won’t slip up. I’m going to take this secret to the grave. Or at least until… July?”   
  


“Yeah, July. But for now, I think we should go to bed. The sooner I get away from you, the less chance that you spoil my baby’s gender.”

 

Yeah, yeah, okay, drama queen.”   
  
Hansol sits up and uses his arm under Seungkwan’s back to help him sit up too. 

 

“Hey, I might be dramatic and I might be royalty, but doesn’t mean you can all me names like that. I pregnant, so you don’t get to be mean.” Seungkwan pouts as Hansol pulls him up and off the couch. 

 

“Yeah, I know. But if you’re my drama queen, does that make it any better?” He says as he raises their joint hands above their heads to signal Seungkwan to twirl around.

 

Seungkwan twirls with a laugh. “Alright, okay. If you’re my drama king, then it’s okay. It’s a title, not just a name, then.”

 

They head towards their bedrooms, but Seungkwan hesitates to let go of Hansol’s hand. He lets go and they both wash their faces and change into pyjamas. But Hansol hasn’t even had his eyes closed for five minutes before he hears his door open. 

 

He knows who it has to be.

 

“Seungkwan?”

 

“God, you startled me! How did you know it was me?”

 

Hansol opens his eyes to see Seungkwan in his pink hoodie and sweats. He looks like he got caught, even though, technically he did get caught, Hansol supposes. 

 

“You have a very gentle way of walking, even if you waddle now.”   
  
“Yah! Don’t be mean.”   
  
“Did you need something, Kwannie?”

 

“Uh, well, I was wondering if I could sleep with you tonight? I couldn’t get comfortable in my own bed, but I was really comfortable when we were on the couch. I think the baby doesn’t want to sleep right now. But they were pretty calm before. So I mean it’s fi-”   
  
“Come over here,” Hansol interrupts him before he can talk himself into a spiral. Even though Seungkwan’s become more confident lately, he still has trouble asking for things like this. Intimate close things, like cuddles. Even though he knows that Hansol would never deny him. At least, Hansol is pretty sure he knows that. He’s told him before, hasn’t he?

 

He lifts his blanket, thankful he worse a shirt to sleep, and welcomes Seungkwan warm body under his covers. He waits, as he always does, for Seungkwan to decide how he wants to lie and adjusts around him. Seungkwan grabs his arm and wraps it around his waist.

 

“I’m supposed to try and lay on my left side like this but I move around too much in my sleep. I know you sleep like a rock, so keep me like this, okay?”

 

Seungkwan then very seriously lies his head down on the pillow and breathes in deeply, trying to bring on slumber. Hansol scoots a little closer, resting his hand on the top of his bump. Seungkwan’s fingers intertwine atop his hand, and Hansol rests his forehead on the back of Seungkwan’s neck. 

 

“Oh, and happy birthday, Sollie.”

 

“Thanks, Kwannie.”

 

~~~~~

 

Vernon and Seokmin’s joint birthday party is not nearly as chaotic as Chan’s birthday was a week or two ago.

 

No club. No chaotic 18 year olds. Except Chan, but they didn’t let him be in charge of inviting people. So instead, it was just the group of them, chilling at the cafe Mingyu works at. 

 

Just the 11 of them. It’s nice to be in the small, or smaller rather, group than their recent gatherings.

 

Not that Seokmin doesn’t like the giant celebrations, but sometimes he just wants to hang out with his boyfriend and his closest friends. 

 

Of course, not all his closest friends, as some of their group from college isn’t currently in the country. But he’s not going to let that ruin the day.

 

They had just cut the cake and handed out big slices to everyone. Mingyu was lucky enough to have his older brother available to help out with catering, so Seokjin was hanging around after closing up the kitchen for the day.

 

So of course, being a med student, he happened to find Seokmin drawn to where he was sharing with Joshua the copy of Seungkwan’s ultrasound and recounting the adventures of the previous day.

 

Joshua shared the details of the Dopil Saga, as Chan preferred to call it, and Seokmin told him about the ultrasound and the date Seungkwan had had the day before. As he was pulling out the ultrasound to brag about him being one of the people who got one, Seokjin pulled it from his hand.

 

“Ah, this is Seungkwan’s baby, right? 20 weeks? Oh, and look you can tell it’s a-”

 

“Hyung! Shhh… please be careful.” Seokmin quickly tries to quiet down the loud hyung. “You’re really loud, and Seungkwan wanted to keep it a secret.”

 

“Ah, okay. I guess I’ll be the only one to know then. Med school privileges. Ha! Unless you show Hoseok. Don’t show Hoseokie, I want to be the only one who knows. I love secrets.”   
  
“Jin hyung, you love secrets but you can’t keep them to save your life.” Joshua scolds the older Omega and takes the ultrasound from his hands. “Plus, Seungkwan already had the doctor tell Minnie and Hansol. As a surprise present for their birthday. Plus, they’re the two he’s closest to.”   
  
“Yeah,” Seokmin sticks out his tongue at the older, only to be knocked gently on his head.

 

He looks over to see his friend being lead out of the cafe by Hansol. He knows what Hansol is doing, because he ran the plan by him and Soonyoung and Moonbin the week before. He was proud of his birthday twin. 

 

He knows that Hansol has fallen for Seungkwan, and he knows that it’s completely possible for him to return the feelings. But he also knows that until recently, or yesterday actually, Seungkwan hadn’t been in the right situation to consider a relationship. Him feeling confident enough to go on a date with Hwanseok. 

 

And as much as Seokmin loves Hansol, he can admit that he not Team Hansol. Nor is he Team Hwanseok. And he knows that his soulmate feels a little differently. And Joshua too. Joshua feels differently. But Soonyoung and Josh aside, Seokmin considers himself Team Seungkwan. He just wants the right person for Seungkwan, a partner who will take care of him and his baby without ever thinking him less than a person.

 

Seokmin is brought out of his daydream when Joshua pokes him in the cheek. “Babe?”

 

“Yeah?” Seokjin seems to have disappeared for the timebeing and leaves just him and his boyfriend. His boyfriend who takes his hands and is giving him that look that means he wants something from him. 

 

“Hyung, what is it?” He asks cautiously.

 

“Well,” Joshua smiles very much resembling a cat. “I know that you understand how close all us Omegas are. You know, how Omegas bond with each other. So, I was wondering if you would, you know, tell me what Seungkwan is having?” He ends with a cheeky smile. 

 

Seokmin just deadpans at his boyfriend. Surely, he’s kidding. “Hyung, you know that won’t be happening. I know that the moment I tell you is the moment that Jeonghan hyung will know, and then Seungcheol hyung will know. And then Sanha will manage to pry it out of Jeonghan, and we know the moment a ‘00 kid knows, they will all know. Plus, I want to respect Seungkwan’s wishes that just Hansol and I know.”   
  


“Alright, sure. Whatever you say, babe.” Joshua scans the room briefly.

 

“Hyung, don’t go bug Hansol about it.”   
  
“Alright, Seokkie, I can’t find him anyway.”

 

“That’s because he’s implementing Plan J-”

 

“Seokmin!”   
  
Seokmin turns to find Mingyu running at him. He looks distressed, and soon, Seokmin finds himself with an armful of Alpha. 

 

“You okay, Gyu?”

 

“Hyung told Wonwoo hyung the baby’s gender and I wanna know, too.”

 

Seokmin glares over Mingyu’s shoulder at Seokjin and Wonwoo where they’re laughing at them. 

 

“My own brother! He told my boyfriend but not me! And now my boyfriend won’t tell me either. If Minghao was here, he would’ve shared with me.” He sticks out his tongue at his boyfriend and brother across the room.

 

With Mingyu still clinging to him, he shuffles across the room to the other two.

 

“Please, don’t tell anyone else. Jin hyung. The more people know, the higher the odds of someone telling Seungkwan. And he wants to be surprised. Plus, it’s not really your secret ot share.”   
  
“Ooh, someone has a secret?” An unexpected voice adds.

 

Everyone turns to face the newcomer in the group. Mingyu is the first to voice his shock.

 

“Jun hyung?”

 

Junhui has a huge smile on his face at pulling off the surprise.

 

“Happy birthday, Seokkie! Sorry we couldn’t let you know we were coming, but Hao wanted to make it a surprise.”

 

“Wait, we? Hao is here, too? Seok, charge!” Mingyu cries out, as Seokmin turns, and they run across the room to where Minghao is currently greeting Chan and Soonyoung. They only run into one or two chairs, which is a miracle, given Mingyu is blocking most of Seokmin’s view and is relaying directions while still clinging onto him. They end up knocking him over entirely, bringing Soonyoung and Chan down with them.

 

“Junhui, you and Hao aren’t just back in Korea for Seok’s birthday, are you?”

 

Junhui gives a big smile again. “Well, Haohao just finished college, so we came back to Korea. It only makes sense. Sure, our families are back there, but we’ve both been in Korea for such a long time before Hao chose to do this last year abroad that you’ve all really become our family. Plus, you know Hao’s family….”

 

“Yeah, makes sense.”   
  
Jeonghan slides over and gives Junhui a big hug. 

 

“Jun, I expected more of a show when you came back to Korea. But I’m glad you’re back.”

 

“I mean, I wanted something that screams more fireworks, you know?” Junhui spreads his hands out as if he was imagining it. “But Hao wanted something subtler. Plus he wanted to crash the party.”

 

Joshua catches the flash of something bright, but before he can ask, Junhui is already asking about the secret mentioned before.

 

“Oh, that? Well, it’s kinda complicated. But basically, you’ll have to meet Seungkwan. Seokmin and Soonyoung’s best friend from high school. It’s a bit complicated but he’s living with us now after being out of contact for a few years. And he’s pregnant. So for their birthdays, Seungkwan let Seokkie and Hansol know the gender of the baby, but since Seokjin is in med school, he was able to tell from the ultrasound, and he told Wonwoo but not Mingyu.”

 

“Oh, well that’s exciting. I love babies! I actually have some news about that. Hao and I have been really talking things over and we’ve come to a decision. You both know how I’ve always loved kids.”

 

Jeonghan and Joshua nod. They had both been a little shocked when Junhui had presented as an Alpha instead of an Omega.  

 

“Well, Minghao also loves babies, even though he will never admit it publicly. And we’ve always been figuring we’ll have a family. But now that we’re settling back in Korea, we’re going to start trying for a family.”   
  
“Wait, really?” Jeonghan yells.

 

“Doe that mean that’s a-” Joshua gets cut off by Jeonghan yelling again.

 

“Are you telling me that Minghao is pregnant?”

 

“No, no, not yet.” Junhui clarifies with a chuckle. “But we’re going to start trying in a few months. Hao’s going off his suppressants and birth control and everything. I’ve been saving up since graduating last year and I was able to live at home and my parents are really supportive too.”   
  
“Wait, in a few months. What’s in a few months?’

 

“Well, I heard about you and Seungcheol a bit ago, getting engaged and all that. And I know I should have told all of you guys a long time ago, but we actually have another surprise. Minghao and I are e-”

 

“YOU’RE ENGAGED!” They hear Seokmin shout across the room. 

 

Jeonghan and Joshua whip back towards Junhui, who is sheepishly holding up his hand, flashing a shiny silver ring on his finger. 

 

“Well, I didn’t really want to bring it up during Seokkie and Sollie’s birthday, but since Seokmin already did it himself, yeah, we are.”   
  
“When did this happen?”

 

“About five-ish months ago? It was Halloween actually. I had been planning on doing something romantic, but instead it just kinda slipped during a moment. And Hao said yes, so here we are.”   
  


“So when is the wedding? And are we going to be a part of it? When were you going to tell us?”

 

“Well, we’re planning on July? And we do still have a few things to plan. Luckily, my parents want to pay for it, but because of that, we’re also trying to keep it small. We have a few people we need to ask to be our groomsmen. I don’t think we’re going to have best men either. But hopefully you’ll all be free even though we didn’t send out save the dates.”

 

“MINGHAO HYUNG?” Hansol’s voice rings through the room.    
  
Junhui turns to see Hansol let go of the hand of someone he doesn’t recognize. That someone being apparently pregnant, so this must be Seungkwan.

 

“You know, hyungs, there’s that one old superstition, that in groups of close Omegas, once one Omega gets pregnant, it kinda sets off a domino effect. Like, it sets off, what’s the word in Korean, a kind of baby fever?”

 

“I mean, yeah, I’ve heard. But I can say that Seok and I are still good with what we have. I don’t know about you two, though.” Joshua gestures towards Jeonghan. 

 

Jeonghan just shrugs. “ I can’t say I’m feeling anything more than normal, but I can say that Seungcheol is really looking forward to having a baby eventually. He certainly is looking forward to putting one in me. But I’m not sure if he really realizes the work it’ll take to raise a baby.”

 

“Hopefully it rubs off on Hao. Not that he isn’t already all for it. But still, you know? It’s a scary thought. Who knows how long it’ll take. It could be pretty fast if we get lucky, but still. Minghao hasn’t always had the best, you know, reproductive health.”   
  
“I feel for you,” Joshua adds. “Seok and I have always talked about kids, ever since we got serious. Beta problems, you know? But there’s so many options nowadays, there’s no way that a committed couple like you two wouldn’t be able to adopt or something.”

 

“You’re right. I just want to get started right away.” Junhui is practically bouncing on the balls of his feet. “We want a big family. Kinda like our big family right here.” Junhui gathers Jeonghan and Joshua in for a big hug. 

 

“When are you panning for your guys’ wedding?”

 

“I think we’re aiming for December. We still need to figure out the venue. But we’ll actually send save the dates when we figure it out.”

 

“Ohhh, winter wedding! I can already see it. Snow, maybe?”

 

“Yep, full winter wonderland.” Jeonghan smiles, imagining his wedding day.

 

“But now that these updates are over, I need you to tell me more about Seungkwan. And what he and Hansol were just doing alone. Does our little baby Alpha have a little crush?”   
  
Joshua and Jeonghan give each other a look. “A little?”

 

Jeonghan continues. “Oh boy, do we have to fill you in.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know if there are any couples you want more focus on
> 
> and thank you to all and any comments you leave, they really fuel me <3


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> small moment with Seungkwan and Sofia and then Omegas' sleepover again.... and maybe some drama???
> 
>  
> 
> the note is long but please do check it out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, hi friends, I feel like it's been a while, even though it's not my longest break between chapters before (rip TTTT)
> 
> but I added like so much to my outline and it's basically like 40 pages of future things being planned out right now
> 
> And I realized I fucked up a lot with my understanding of time and months during pregnancy
> 
> check out the end note if you want more details on my current timeline issues regarding the babies that will be coming 
> 
> !!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> But please do leave comments and ideas you have about couples or babies that should happen. I have most of the plot drawn up butif you have any ideas, please do share!!

Sofia comes back to their table to set down their drinks. Seungkwan ordered a fresh fruit tea, only slightly jealous that Sofia could order an iced Americano.

 

The two of them finally found some time for their coffee date, and Seungkwan was excited to hear more about Hansol and Seungcheol’s little sister and maybe some embarrassing stories from when they were kids. 

 

“So, I want to know more about you. Clearly, Sol oppa and Cheol oppa have been lacking in the communication department.” Sofia leans forward in their small booth in the corner of the cozy shop. She sips on her drink while looking at Seungkwan with eager eyes.

 

“Well, I’m really not that interesting. I knew Soonyoung and Seokmin in high school, but I really didn’t meet most of the group until a few months ago. I didn’t even meet Jun hyung and Minghao hyung until a few days ago at Hansol and Seokminnie’s birthday party.” Seungkwan lifts the big mug up to his lips to sip lightly at the hot tea.

 

“Kwannie, I don’t want to sound rude, but bullshit. If you were able to so quickly infiltrate their group and be invited to the sleepovers and become a part of them, and you don’t think there’s anything interesting about you, then you clearly can’t see yourself the way others see you.”

 

Seungkwan is a little shocked. He hadn’t hung out with Sofia much since New Year’s because she spent a lot of her time visiting with friends, but they had gotten along so well. But he didn’t expect her to get this blunt with him so immediately.

 

So when Seungkwan chokes on his tea, Sofia reaches over to try and pat him on the back.

 

“Oh sorry! I should have asked before dropping honorifics. Do you mind? I’ve been in the States for a while and kinda forget about it when I’m surprised.”  
  
“It’s fine if you want to. I’d like it if we can be friends.” Seungkwan smiles at the youngest Choi. 

 

“Okay, so I’ll just call you Kwannie from now on. But go on, tell me more about who you are.”  
  
Sofia sits there looking at Seungkwan expectantly again. Seungkwan takes a big sigh.

 

“I can tell you more about me, but If I’m going to be honest, it might be hard to hear. But because you’re my friend, I want to be able to tell you and trust you. Just let me know if you don’t want to hear more, okay?”

 

Sofia nods, sensing the seriousness of what Seungkwan is going to share.

 

Seungkwan starts with a stuttering breath. “Ha, it doesn’t really get easier to say everything again, when I really think about it. But I’m realizing that a lot of it wasn’t good, and that’s an improvement for me. In high school, I met Soonyoung and Seokmin and they became my best friends in the world. I also met _him_ . An Alpha. And I fell for him, so hard. Too hard. But I was young and craving attention, and he gave it to me. And we started dating in my first year of high school, and soon after, I presented as an Omega. And I don’t think that’s when things started going downhill. I think they went downhill the moment I met him. Our relationship got bad. He was abusive and manipulative. And I spent way too long with him. Because I was afraid that I wouldn’t find someone who would put up with me because he made me feel that poorly about myself.”   
  
“But you’re not with him now? Right? I can’t smell any strange Alphas on you.”

 

“I wish I had been strong enough to have just up and left him. But my head was really messed up. I didn’t really have contact with my friends. I lived with him. He controlled everything. He was my whole life.”  
  
“Wait, you lived with him when you were still in high school?”   
  
“He Bonded me during my third heat. He insisted I live with him after that. And I was a Bonded Omega, sure I was young, but most people didn’t really question it. I ended up not trying to go to university after high school and just stayed with Taewon.”

 

“So, where is he now? If you never actually left him? Did he leave you? I swear, if he had the balls to cheat on you after treating you that way, then he won’t have balls for much longer.”

 

Sofia is seething now, her angry Alpha pheromones seeping into the air. Seungkwan takes a deep breath, trying to not let it affect him.

 

“He’s dead.”

 

Sofia deflates. “Oh….”

 

“Yeah….”

 

“Sorry, Seungkwan, if I had known, I would have been more sensitive about it, even if he’ll always be a dickwad.”

 

“Sofia! But yeah, you’re not wrong. He was… a dickwad. And I mentioned abuse. I’ve had a lot of miscarriages since I started being with him. I was too young to understand birth control. And even now, it still blows my mind that it’s actually not really dangerous or toxic, like how he said it was.”  
  
“You had miscarriages?” Seungkwan nods. “Like multiple?” He nods again. “When you were still in high school?” Another nod.

 

“Oh Seungkwan!” Sofia’s eyes are brimming with tears, clearly Sofia is a classic sensitive Alpha Choi. She reaches across the table, coffee forgotten, to hold onto his hand.

 

“And so that’s why I’m pregnant now. But I’ve really come to realize that even though it’s because of him, I have my baby, it doesn’t make Taewon my baby’s father.”  
  
“You’re going to be such a good mother.” Sofia says sincerely.

 

“Thanks. Sometimes it feels nice to hear somebody else say that. But back to Taewon. He always had a temper. I had refused to give him what he wanted. He… hit me. And then left to go to a bar that night, trying to get what he wanted. But he ended up getting killed in a bar fight. And nearly a week later, Soonyoung and Seokmin found me passed out in vomit in front of the toilet in our old apartment. And at the hospital, Seungcheol hyung decided that I would stay with him and Jeonghan hyung and Joshua hyung. And Hansol. And that’s how I’m here now.

 

“I don’t know what to say. And your parents and friends never thought something was wrong?”

 

“I can be quite a convincing liar when I feel like I need to be. Or maybe more that I was convincing myself that everything was fine. But my family is back in jeju. I just came to Seoul for school.”

 

“Oh, you’re from Jeju? Is that why H-”

 

“Yeah,” Seungkwan cuts her off quickly. He blushes deeply. “That’s why. I’m sorry. This probably wasn’t the fun and light stories about my life you wanted to hear, but I really just don’t have tho-”  
  
He’s cut off by Sofia flinging herself around the table to scoot next to Seungkwan and scoop him into a hug. 

 

“And this is why I’m so grateful for your brothers and everyone. I’ve basically been alone for so long. And having all these people around me, who care about me, is overwhelming sometimes. I will never be able to repay them, in any capacity. I can’t even get them presents for their birthdays right now. I just feel like I want to be more independent and become stronger, especially because I only have, like, five months until I have to be a mom, but then there still feels like so much is holding me back.”  
  
“What’s still holding you back, Kwannie?”   
  
“Don’t misunderstand. I completely understand and believe that I never deserved to be treated the way I was. But I just, sometimes… can’t see how I’m worthy of all these good things. Like I just don’t deserve all these friends and the way they care for me. I can’t help but see myself as a burden.” Seungkwan wipes the tears from his eyes.

 

“You know, you’re right that you never deserved to be hurt like that by Taewon. But you’re a person, and therefore you deserve to be treated well. And I can tell you that I’ve know a lot of Hansol oppa and Seungcheol oppa’s friends for a long time. And if they are doing things for you, they want to. You aren't being a burden to them. A lot of them are lazy, dumb boys, and if they didn’t care, they wouldn’t. They don’t go out of the way for nothing. And you don’t need to give them anything in return. That’s just how friendship works.”

 

“I know, or at least, I should know. But if anything, I need to start working in some capacity. Not to repay everyone, but I need to start working and saving so I can be a functional adult and take care of myself and my baby.”  
  
“Well, I’m sure that someone knows somewhere you could work. Maybe I should ask our cousin. He’s really sweet, an Omega, runs a shelter and clinic for Omegas that need help. I think it’d actually be a really good thing to think about. I can mention you to him.”   
  
“I mean, as long as he has a job that I can do while pregnant, I’d really appreciate it.”

 

“Alright, I’ll make a note of it.” She pulls out her phone and murmurs while she taps away. “Reminder… ask Min oppa… job for Seungkwan…. Alright, done! Now, let’s talk about something more fun. What about I tell you about the time that Hansollie ran around naked in a store 

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

February’s Omega Night was last minute decided to be at Minghao’s apartment instead of Jungwoo and Haknyeon’s place, because the younger Omega had his irregular heat hit him.

 

Hansol had offered to walk Seungkwan over to the apartment as it was close by and he was instructed to drag Lucas and Junhui back with him to stay at his apartment for the night. Junhui made sure to give Minghao a deep kiss and leave him with a hard squeeze of his fiancé’s ass. Lucas, however, was being forced to leave before his ‘beloved Jungwoo’ arrived and made sure that all those already arrived knew that it pained his fragile heart so to leave without a farewell kiss to his ‘greatest treasure’.

 

Which greatly embarrasses Jungwoo when he arrives a few minutes later. 

 

“He said what now?” He asks, shocked but at the same time, barely surprised. Lucas has always been loud and boisterous and ready to make a dramatic ruckus when the right (or even the wrong) moment arose.

 

“He said you were his beloved and his greatest treasure.” Jungwoo can’t help but blush when he hears Minghao bluntly repeat the Alpha’s words.

 

“Dammit. Lucas won our bet.” Jungwoo stares down at his feet, when Moonbin arrives with Sanha and Haechan in tow.

 

“Oh, _the_ bet?” Haechan asks eagerly.

 

“Wait, now you need to tell us, hyung.” Sanha insists as he nuzzles up to Jungwoo’s arm, even though he’s an inch or two shorter than he is.

 

“I mean, it’s nothing super scandalous or anything.” Jungwoo glances around, then sighs. “But I told Lucas that he could choose my next hair color.”

 

A chorus of shock rises amongst the Omegas already present.

 

“But what was the bet about?” Felix inquires, the most recent arrival.

 

“He said that I am embarrassed of him. I said I’m not. And I’m not. But he does embarrassing things all the time. But he said that if I was lying, and that if he managed to make me blush without even being present, then he could choose my next hair color. I think, now, that he knew he’d win and just wants to be able to do my hair. He loves all that stuff, you know, hair and style and stuff. And he loved when I did that silver color a few months back. Ah, I hope he doesn’t choose anything gaudy, like turquoise.”  
  
Sanha immediately protests, shouting that his hair was a statement, and that they don’t talk about that time anymore.

 

Everyone is just about settled down to get started when there’s a thump against the door, before hearing some kind of groan coming from outside. 

  
Minghao and Jihoon hurriedly head for the door to the apartment, seeing as they leave the door unlocked until everyone arrives. Whoever was just outside the door could easily enter the apartment.

 

Until Minghao peeks out the door, just to let out a strangled yelp.

 

“Hyung!”  
  
Everyone can hear as someone yells, “Dowoonie! What did I say about that?”

 

And it quickly becomes clear. Wonpil had arrived with Dowoon accompanying him. They hadn’t expected Wonpil to make it, seeing as all his time since getting together with Dowoon had been spent being the most disgusting couple any of them had ever seen. Even though most couples who went through a heat together like they did would spend a day or two after needing to be close to each other, it was like they couldn’t handle being apart for more time than it took to go to the bathroom.   


And it was one thing, the clinginess. But it was the nearly constant touching. And kissing. And groping. No matter who else was in the room.

 

And now here they are, getting caught probably making out against Minghao’s door.

 

Hopefully just making out.

 

Thankfully, Felix also arrives just then, breaking up the awkward stand off between Wonpil trying to stop Dowoon from attacking his neck and Minghao and Jihoon staring at Wonpil’s terrified expression.

 

“Well, hyungs, great to meet you all like this, hi Dowoon hyung, but I think we should head inside, right?” He offers up, holding his hands up as if he were the one caught.

 

It seems that Wonpil was finally able to peel Dowoon off of him, because he heads inside sheepishly, followed by the other three. 

 

He sits down, and the silence continues.

 

Until Haechan pipes up, “So you and Dowoon hyung…. You a thing?”

 

Something about the way he says it so casually, as if the older hadn’t just been caught, releases the silence, as everyone cracks up. Wonpil just grimaces as he covers his face with his hand, trying to look ashamed until he can’t help but laugh as well.

 

“Okay, okay, I know you all want to know, so I’ll answer some questions. But as always, I reserve the rights to not answer and to close off questions. No asking c-”

 

“Alright, alright, is this an AMA or a formal interview? Just let us go!” Felix cries.

 

“Alright, go.”

 

Immediately, everyone is shouting.

 

“Are you two dating now?”  
  
“Of course they are, idiot. Ask juicier questions.”   
  
“Do you two get to cuddle now?”   
  
“Wow, you’re cute, baby Omega.”

 

“Hyung, don’t call me that. I’m 18 now.”

 

“Did you two fuck?”

 

“Ahhh!”

 

“How was your heat?”

 

Wonpil tries to shut them up, but instead just has to call above the noise some of his responses.

 

“We are dating now! And we cuddle, more than before. We spent my heat together after we left your place, Jeonghan. And no one asked, but we actually decided to Bond.”

 

Immediately, the loud yelling turned into unintelligible screaming.

 

Joshua had enough sense to ask another question, leaning into Wonpil to speak into his ear.

 

“Oh, when? Well, during my heat.” Wonpil says, as inconspicuous as he can despite his whole face being flushed red. He reaches his hand up to his neck and pulls his collar down to reveal the junction of his neck. A slightly inflamed and irritated part of his neck was shown off, a pale scar of teeth marks appearing.

 

“Wait, you already Bonded? Did you talk about it first?” Jeonghan asks in shock.

 

Wonpil can’t blame the disbelief from his friends. Bonds were permanent, usually, and a deep commitment to make to someone else. A common misundertsanding is that it allows a pair to read each others’ minds, when it actually simply allows the two to feel hints of their partner’s most extreme emotions. So Dowoon might not be feeling the embarrassment of all his friends’ questions, but if he were to become as emotional as when he visited Jeonghan and Joshua’s apartment, then Dowoon would know that there was a deep sadness. 

 

Bonding could be a display of ownership by a traditional Alpha, as Seungkwan is very familiar with. But seeing the small smile still on Wonpil’s face, despite all the attention, show that this is a very different bond than Seungkwan knows. He’s heard of couples using the Bond to open up their relationship, rather than close the other in, and Wonpil and Dowoon are his first time seeing the power of the Bond to better a relationship.

 

“We talked about it when we got back to our apartment that night. And I knew my heat was coming up because I went to the clinic that morning for a routine checkup. So Dowoon asked what I had planned for it. I had been planning to go through it with one of my old heat assistants, but Dowoonie got so mad so fast and he practically growled. Like got all Alpha-y, you know? And he told me that he wouldn’t let someone else touch me if he was going to be my boyfriend. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to start right away, being that intimate, you know? He’s supported me through my heats for years now, but we’ve never had actual sex. I still wasn’t sure though, it all had gone so fast, from breaking up with him to being together and having my heat so immediately. He asked what he could do to prove he wanted me like this. I said Bond me. I didn’t expect him to react the way he did. I thought he would back out and we would talk about it later or even break up for real. But instead, he just like, kissed the life out of me, and I think it set off his rut, because soon it was happening and I don’t regret a moment of it. It hurt when he bit me, but I made sure it hurt him back when he let me bite him as well.”  
  
“Wait, you bit him too?” Seungkwan is shocked.   
  
“Yeah, you probably didn’t know, but it’s actually becoming more common for bonded couples to have mutual bites. Even if an Omega biting an Alpha doesn’t actually do anything, it’s more a symbolic display of equality. Some don’t and it’s fine, as long as any couple deciding to Bond takes it seriously.” Joshua explains. 

 

“Oh, so that’s why you and hyung are all over each other.” Sanha realizes. “I heard that Bonded couples are even clingier than normal coming out of heat, like they can’t bare to be apart until the Bond settles, or something like that, I’ve heard, you know?”

 

“Yeah, apparently,” Wonpil confirms. “Dowoonie hasn’t been able to stay at home since his bond leave ended a week ago, so when he’s home, he just kinda latches on and it’s been leaving my with the worst hickies of my life.” He emphasizes his point by pulling his sweater neck down on the other side of his neck, to reveal massive purple bruises leading down under his sweater.

 

“Ew, gross, hyung!” Haechan squeals while covering Jeongin’s eyes.

 

“Sorry, tell Dowoonie that. He just refuses to stop. I’m going to have a serious talk to him soon about it. It’s not like other Alpha’s need a visual warning to back off. He’s already been rubbing his scent all over all my clothes and belongings enough that no Alpha will be approaching me with an ill intent.”

 

“How’s your pain doing after your heat?” Jimin asks.

 

“It’s actually quite mild right now. Very manageable. My doctors were pleased to hear that Bonding was actually helping, but it might also be the actual sex. We didn’t have any condoms because it was so sudden, but apparently that can actually alleviate some of the pain. Not permanently, but with regular sex, it can help a lot.” Wonpil is blushing, talking about the fact he had unprotected sex with Dowoon. “I’m going to need to get checkup after each heat to make sure I didn’t get pregnant or anything, but the chances are low anyway, with my condition and all.”

 

“Oh, Pillie hyung, that makes me so happy for you two!” Jimin rushes over to hug the older. 

 

Hyungwon pats him on the back as the rest of the Omegas just ooh and ah over the new couple for awhile.   
  
Wonwoo peers around Moonbin, who is trying his best to fit in the smaller boy’s lap, and asks, “Who do you think will be the next couple to Bond?”

 

Haechan immediately speaks up. “I have these friends that are basically a married couple already, so I’d say them. Jungwoo, you know them, Jaemin and Jeno?”

 

“Oh, really? I thought they weren’t even dating yet?” Jungwoo wonders. “I think Sanha will. He and Rocky are so cute together, even if Sanha refuses to be called cute.”

 

Sanha looks panicked for a second, before forcedly laughing. “As if I’d ever want to get Bonded. No. nope. No thank you, not interested.”

 

“I think Minghao hyung and Jun hyung, seeing as they’re already engaged and all.” Jeongin says cheerfully, ignoring Sanha’s weirdness.

 

Minghao laughs, and adds, “Well, that makes sense, but I would guess, based on what I’ve heard, Hansol and Seungkwan.”

 

“What? Huh?” Seungkwan starts to sputter at Minghao’s words. “We’re not a couple.”

 

Minghao flashes a knowing look at Jeonghan before continuing casually. “Wait, really? I thought you were dating. You seem pretty close. Especially when you were off alone with him at his and Seokkie’s birthday party.” This makes Seungkwan blush deeply.  
  
“Wait, you were off with Hansol? Didn’t… _that_ happen the night before?” Moonbin tries to add quietly.

 

“Binnie, I hope you weren’t trying to be subtly, because you failed miserably.” Seungkwan deadpans.

 

“Well, now, we need to know what happened before his birthday.” Joshua adds very matter-of-factly.

 

“Well, I wasn’t going to mention it, because really nothing happened. But it seemed, like, he almost, maybe, was going to, and once again, I’m not entirely certain, maybe was going to kiss me.”

 

“Okay, so we can agree at least that Hansol likes Seungkwan?” Minghao asks rhetorically.

 

“No, no, no, don’t go assuming things like that! I just happened to open my eyes and his face was closer than normal to mine.”  
  
“Why was he that close to you in the first place?” Felix’s curiosity is harmless, but it makes Seungkwan’s cheeks burn.

 

Jeonghan answer that one. “You see, my children, Seungkwannie and Hansol like to cuddle together on the couch before they go to bed.” 

 

“Wait, that’s so cute, hyung!” Felix squeals, voice raising three octaves.

 

Wonwoo knocks Moonbin over to cling onto Seungkwan with Jimin, being just careful enough not to knock too hard into his stomach. They cried fake tears and acted very dramatically, swaying back and forth. 

 

Jihoon brings their attention back to him when he asks what happened at Hansol’s birthday.

 

Seungkwan blushes deeper than he thought possible.

 

“Okay, so I know how this is going to sound, but first I need to explain a little. I’m from Jeju. I came to Seoul when I was 14, or just turned 15 I think. I started my first year of high school without knowing anyone and was lucky enough to find Seokmin hyung and Soonyoung hyung. But I also met Taewon. And since I started dating him in my second year, I haven’t been home. I haven’t been home in 6 years. I haven’t seen my family in six years.”  
  
“But you’ve talked to them at least?” Felix asks in a small voice. “Wait, don’t tell me…”   


Seungkwan wipes away a tear. “I wasn’t allowed to have a cellphone. I didn’t have a laptop. I didn’t have any money of my own to try and buy them, or even use a pay phone. I tried that once, but Taewon got mad, and the number hadn’t gone through, so he used that to tell me that my parents changed their number so I wouldn’t be able to talk to them.”

 

Moonbin shifts over to sit behind Seungkwan, wrapping him in his larger body protectively, letting Seungkwan wipe his tears on his sweatshirt sleeve.

 

“I believed him for a long time. I haven’t thought of ever going back to visit them, because I always assumed they’d be disappointed or ashamed of me. I was supposed to come to Seoul and study hard and go to university or become a trainee because that was a little dream of mine when I was young. Before I stopped singing. I’m not even sure if they know I’m alive. I would have assumed I’m dead too. A dead son is better than a disappointment anyways.”  
  
Before anyone can protest, Seungkwan continues, “I know, I know. You don’t need to tell me I’m wrong about that. Hansol already did that. When he took me outside, it was for a surprise. He had told me last month, at my birthday, that he wanted to get me something more. And said he didn’t have to, but he insisted. So I expected that he’d get me like another sweater or something. He keeps buying me clothes and stuff, so I figured it’d be like that. But I never expected what he actually did.”   
  
Minghao scoots closer to Seungkwan to grasp his hand, reassuring him, even if they don’t know each other too well yet. 

 

“Okay, so, basically what happened was, Hansol asked if I could step outside for a second with him, and he said he has a surprise, right? I think we saw you and Jun hyung when we were leaving. He led me up to the rooftop seating area, with all the pretty garden and flowers and stuff? He had a bunch of candles lining the stairs and had all the lights on up there. There was a basket of tangerines and hallabong on the table. He played some of The Office in the background. 

 

“And then he asked me, if I could go anywhere where would I go. I didn’t know what he was getting at. I just told him that I wouldn’t rather be anywhere right then. But then he pulled out a little envelope. It was a plane ticket. He bought us fucking plane tickets to Jeju. He already called my doctor to ask if it was okay to fly. He called into work at the cafe to get my time off. Easy, though, b-because Seokjin hyung is the manager there. He… he even managed to find my parents and call them to see if they would want to have me visit, just to make sure that it would be a good idea to go. He just started calling all the Boo’s he could find from Jeju, until he found my mom. Then… Then…”  
  
Jeonghan scoots closer to stroke his hair. “Shh.. calm down, baby. Just breathe. Continue when you’re ready.”

 

Seungkwan breathes in and out a few ties until he’s stopped crying as hard and can talk normally again.   
  
“Then, he pulled out a piece of paper. It had a phone number on it. It was my home phone number. Then he went to sit at the table and let me have a moment alone. I called my mom. And she cried when she heard my voice. She thought she was never going to see me again. Thought I had left them behind or something. But she is so excited to see me. We’re going in March and we’ll be staying at my house. Did you know my family got a new puppy recently? When I started crying so hard I almost had a panic attack, Hansol came over and helped me calm down. He greet my mom like they had known each other since we were little or something. He explained for me that things were difficult but getting better. My mom thanked him for taking care of me. And he thanked my mom for raising me. Okay, okay, I’ve gone on long enough, so let’s change the subject. Minghao hyung, what about you share your proposal story.”

 

Seungkwan isn’t crying really, just has tears still dripping down his face. But he’s being cuddled by Moonbin, Wonwoo, and Jimin, and he is holding Minghao’s hand tightly. So Minghao takes that as a go ahead, that Seungkwan is alright right now, and he starts on his own story.

 

“So Wonwoo gets this, but my family doesn’t really approve of Omegas or being homosexual, so let’s just say, they are greatly disappointed in my simple existence. It’s hard, but I’m generally okay because all of you have become the family I never felt like I had. But it was my mother’s birthday, so I felt obliged to stop by my family’s home and wish her good health and stuff. I still have to be the best son possible, even if they refuse to acknowledge me. I didn’t tell Jun ge because I know he would be upset and worried about me going home. But because of that, he thought it was safe to stop by my family home too. He was just there, in the living room, talking to my parents, asking them to approve of me. He was begging them to accept me. I know Jun’s family means a lot to him, so I can understand why he was doing it. It meant a lot to me. But, then I heard my father tell him that they would consider accepting me back into the family if he left me and cut me off from all of our friends.”

 

“Jun hyung clearly didn’t agre- oops, sorry, keep going,” Haechan interrupts, not being able to keep his thoughts to himself. 

 

“He told them that they were wrong to think that you guys ever were a bad influence in my life. And then, he said, and I quote, ‘I was hoping that after all this time, you’d come to see your son as I see him. And if you were able to see the truth, I would have been more than happy to invite you to our wedding, because I’m going to marry that man one day.’ I rushed out of the house and went home. Yeah, I know, that was an incredibly serious thing for someone like Jun ge to say. He’s usually such an idiot.” Minghao can’t keep the smile off his face when he say this.

 

He rubs the ring on his finger gently as he continues. 

 

“I got home, ordered delivery from his favorite place, and waited in the apartment for him to get home. It was also Halloween that day, so I bought candy, in case kids ever come by. They usually don’t, so Jun ge ends up eating all the candy and getting a stomach ache. But anyway, he comes home, with our usual order from my favorite food stall and more candy. And then he looks at me, and I think he could tell on my face that I knew something. So he just dropped down onto one knee in the doorway. He wasn’t even close to me, he was carrying all his groceries in arms, the ring box was still in his bag. I don’t think he even realized what he was doing because he looked as shocked as I felt. I say that he didn’t really prepared for that moment because he said, ‘I marry you so much, will you love me?’ and then he looked so embarrassed.”

 

Minghao pauses to laugh with his friends about the fact that even in asking Minghao to marry him, Junhui was still a goofy and caring hyung. 

 

“So, what’d you say? Imean, I know you said yes, but like, how did you say it?” Seungkwan mumbles out from behind the cuddle monster that was Moonbin slowly shifting into his lap in turn. 

 

“I told him that I will always love him, and that I will marry him so much. That big idiot got the biggest smile, and I swear, ah, tears, sorry, I started crying then, too. We skipped the food and candy and just went straight to bed. He whispered to me about my parents, and I told him that I had been there and overheard everything. He said he was sorry he wasn’t going to be able to get my parents to come to our wedding, but I told him that didn’t matter as long as we moved back to Korea once I graduated.”

 

“Wait, that is so cute! I can’t believe it!” Haechan yells.

 

“Hyuuuuuuuung!” Jeongin squeaks.

 

“That’s not at all dirty and weird like I’d expect from hyung.” Felix remarks. 

 

“Awww, Hao-ie, I’m so happy for you! You two have always been one of my favorite couples.” Jimin exclaims.

 

“Wait, if you got engaged in October, then have you planned at all?” Joshua asks, looking worried as he usually does when someone should be planning more ahead of time.

 

“Well, we’ve been planning on getting married here, of course, but we also want to have a small wedding. I’m not having my family come, so Jun ge’s parents are insisting on paying for the whole thing. And they have plenty of money because they own their company, and Jun ge is going to takeover soon. But I don’t want to start my time as a member of his family kinda indebted to him. It’s weird but that’s just how I feel.”  
  
“Do you have any best men in mind?” Jungwoo asks softly, while Felix gets distracted by a chime on his phone.

 

“Oops, sorry, guys. I meant to silence my phone.” Felix says as he looks down at it, frowning.

 

“I think we just want to have three groomsmen each, really keep it small. And I don’t think that Jun wanted me to mention it yet, but we might have decided on them. I hope no one gets upset about not being chosen, but we had to really make some hard decisions on who we would have in our wedding. I wanted to keep it at two each, but then I couldn’t decide and Jun ge just said three would be okay, I think because he secretly didn’t want to choose either. We ended up both choosing a friend from China because we wanted to make sure to invite all the people that have supported us, particularly because I won’t have family there. But out of all of you here, one of you is one of Jun ge’s groomsmen, I mean if you accept. Jun chose… you, Wonwoo hyung.”

 

Wonwoo looks more speechless than Seungkwan has ever seen him.

 

“Really? Junhui is a close friend, but I never imagined that I’d be one of his groomsmen eventually. Wow.” Wonwoo smiles that small genuine smile he has when there’s really something to be happy about.

 

“Alright then, Wonwoo, as a future groomsman, what would your dream proposal be?”

 

“Oh, what?” Wonwoo looks once again speechless. “With who?”

 

“With who!” Sanha yells, as the rest of them start choking on laughter. 

 

“Oh, right. Kim Mingyu. My Boyfriend. Capital B for Burdensome.” He says so seriously that everyone can help but clutch their sides tighter as they roll on the ground laughing.

 

“I mean, if I were to think about it, I would want it to happen somewhere abroad. Maybe Paris? Or Cannes, like the film festival. Or in Venice on a gondola? Something with a special atmosphere that makes it romantic without being even that special.” Wonwoo says while he peers up at the ceiling while Haechan, Sanha, and Jeongin giggle.

 

“Never thought about it, huh?” Minghao asks with his signature unimpressed look.

 

“Alright, what about you, Jihoonie?”  
  
He laughs for a moment before answering, “If he ever thinks I’m going to settle down with him like that, he’ll be risking his balls.”

 

“Alright, I won’t push Soonyoung hyung to do anything,” Minghao huffs. “Jungwoo, what about you and Lucaseu?” He turns to face the now fully flushed tall boy who was currently tucked so tightly in a ball that you wouldn’t think he was the tallest one there, rivalling only Moonbin. 

 

“Knowing my Lulu, it would be really loud and dramatic. But he really likes to suit my tastes so I think he’d try to make it less public, but regardless, I know it’ll be loud. I’d just want it get across the strength of his feelings and makes me feel secure enough to accept.” Jungwoo sighs with a large goofy grin on his face, resemblant of his similarly big and goofy boyfrined’s own smile. 

 

“Could you see yourself turning him down, then?” Felix asks out of curiosity.

 

“I think I would if I felt either of us were unprepared to make that commitment.” Jungwoo says without hesitation.

 

“I think I wouldn’t turn him down, because we’ve actually talked about marriage a few times, never too seriously, but we’re far enough in our relationship that I would accept him now if he asked.” Hyungwon chimes in.

 

“I don’t see why I would need to get married to him to prove I lo… like him. Like I show him how I feel all night sometimes, isn’t that enough?” Jihoon retorts, arms crossed and trying to pretend he’s not bothered by the topic.

 

“Guys, guys, I think there’s something wrong.” Felix says hurriedly.

 

Joshua, Jeonghan, Jimin, and Hyungwon all sit up straight out of their sudden protective urge.

 

“Who is it?” Joshua presses.

 

“I thought he was out for his heat. Jisungie, I think he’s coming here right now.”

 

Their attention is drawn to the front door where there’s a sudden knock.

 

“Or I guess, he’s here already.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so my outline issues are as follows:
> 
> So pregnancy is always said to be 40 weeks or 9 months, but it's actually 10 months because months are 4 weeks right?
> 
> But NO, because months are irregular, so when I was counting in my character bullet point at the beginning of each month in my outline, basically tracking how far along characters are in pregnancy so I don't forget about characters through the outline, I counted until ~10 months so that like pregnancies would be about full term at like ~9.5 months, but then I realized to my utmost dread, that this is actually making pregnancies like a month too long,
> 
> for example, one character gets pregnant in mid march but doesn't have the baby until mid January????!!?!?!?!
> 
> which is something that I feel like most readers might not notice if I kept going and didn't mention it,,,
> 
> but if you're anything like me and you end up rereading certain gay smut scenes because you're like, when did is had get there, oh wait, the pronouns make reading this so confusing, or just like CAN ACTUALLY COUNT, I feel the need to edit this all
> 
> but it's more complicated than just making all the births a month earlier, because a lot of the plot points depend on certain peopl ehaving babies at certain times, while others make it necessary that they get pregnant at a certain time, so half of them need to be shortened to fit the delivery date and the others have to be shortened to fit the conception date
> 
> and Now I have to go through forty pages of notes to fix all of this and then also fix all the babies ages because guess what I also have a monthly tracker for all the babies and children's ages because I want to be as accurate as possible while crafting a ABO universe gay story about like ten million kpop groups
> 
> so please bare with me if the next chapter after this one takes a while, I know what I want to write but I just need to fix this before other shit starts to complicate the timelines more than I already fucked up
> 
> I'm planning on fixing it by counting down weeks in a calendar backwards or forwards as it depends on the character and plot
> 
> I'm also going to start using weeks instead of months to mark month to month progress from now on
> 
> So please, leave me comments to keep me going  
> I will keep going with this story but it's going to get old fast to go through and fix months and months of thoughts
> 
> EDIT: It did not take nearly as long as I thought, so I'm making this chapter a little extra long, and the next chapter should be quick and little bit shorter to balance out
> 
> THANKS FAM


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I totally forgot about the whole plot point that Seungkwan broke his leg, but whatever, his leg is healed now and let's just focus on friendships and relationships and drama instead
> 
> also rip me, I have 50+ pages of outline with this, so please drop a comment if you are ready to stick with me for a long haul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, but I was writing the first part and had a lot but it wasn't doing what I wanted, so I deleted it all and restarted with a different directions and I had thought of it all while watching an a cappella concert with a friend so I really was thinking really hard to focus on two things at once please enjoy and leave your thoughts and critiques and anything below
> 
> comments really do motivate me to keep going

Felix opens the door to allow in an unusually quiet Jisung. Most times he arrived somewhere, it would be accompanied by no less than 5 minutes of shouting.

 

He’s wearing a giant hoodie, sleeves past his hands, wiping at his blotchy eyes. It looks like he’s been crying. 

 

He shuffles around near the door wringing his hands.    
  
“You’re welcome to come in and sit down,” Minghao says, sensing the younger boy felt uncomfortable in a new apartment. 

 

This seems to draw him out of a haze, snapping his attention to the Chinese Omega, eyes wide and watery, nodding distractedly as he drags his feet into the center of the room.

 

“Sung, are you okay?” Felix asks softly, reaching his hand up to tug on his sleeve, pulling him down and into his lap. “What happened?”

 

Jisung doesn’t respond, simply hides his face in Felix’s neck. Felix wraps his arms around his friend. 

 

“Weren’t you prepping for your heat?” Jungwoo asks softly. Jisung seems to flinch at this. 

 

“What do you need, Sungie?” Felix whispers. 

 

Jisung picks his head up from his shoulder. He leans in and whispers something to Felix, the other’s face shifting slowly from concern to shock. His attention turns to Minghao who is sitting a few feet away. He gestures with his chin for the older to come closer and whispers something to him.

 

Minghao nods and stands, heading towards his and Jun’s bedroom.

 

“Are you hurt or in trouble?” Hyungwon asks as the oldest one in the room.

 

“Uh uh,” Felix says for him. 

 

“Hyung,” Jeongin whispers into the uneasy silence. “Hyunjin hyung just messaged me asking if Jisung hyung is with us? Apparently Minho hyung just got to his place because he was worried the he cancelled on him. But hyung, weren’t you preparing for your heat? Why would you have plans with Minho hyung?” Jeongin asks with a confused expression.

 

“Innie…” Jisung turns in Felix’s arms to face the youngest. “I had plans with Minho hyung. I was… he was going to help me through my heat…”

 

“Oh, are you two dating?” He asks again, that same innocent look on his face.

 

Jisung shakes his head. “No. And it won’t be happening ever now.”

 

“Did you want to?” Jungwoo asks.

 

“It doesn’t matter now.”

 

“Of course it does,” Minghao asserts, drawing everyone’s attention back to him and the little box he’s holding down to his side. “I don’t really know either of you two, so you should tell me more about who Minho hyu…”

 

“Born in 98.” Jimin adds.

 

“Thanks, tell me about Minho.” 

 

Jisung’s watery eyes dart towards Minghao as he bites his lip and sighs. “He’s a dancer. He’s one of Jungwoo hyung’s classmates and I first met him when we all went to a dance showcase for Chan hyung and Moonbin hyung and Rocky hyung, and he performed. I had never seen someone so… he just had so much emotion when he danced.”

 

“Then what happened? Did you talk to him? That’s how Jun and I met, at a dance competition.”

 

“Um…”   
  
“He didn’t talk to him until he accidentally smacked him in the face.” Felix bursts out, the mood lightening significantly as Jisung’s face turns red.

 

“Okay, he walked into my hand.” He protests.

 

“You yelled, then flailed, then smacked him in the face.”

 

“Really?” Moonbin asks, trying to keep him giggles to himself.

 

“Oh yeah, I remember that,” Sanha cackles.

 

“Uh…” Jiung hangs his head, “I… gave him a bloody nose…”

 

Jisung had been talking about a movie he wanted to see with Felix and Sanha and some others and as usual, using his whole body to get his point across. He happened to fling his hand out right when Lee Minho, his secret crush, was walking by. And he smacked him so hard in the nose that Minho was now sprawled out on the ground, hold ing now bleeding nose. Jisung turned to find all his friends had fled, leaving him to nervously drag the older boy into the bathroom to help him clean up, trying his best to avoid the intense eye contact the Alpha was trying to initiate. He managed to wipe his face and dart out of the bathroom before Minho could gather his wits and actually ask him the question that plagued the other’s mind.

 

“You managed to make him bleed and didn’t even talk to him?” Jeonghan is also trying to keep himself from laughing now.

 

“Maybe!” Jisung squeaks.

 

“But he didn’t even talk to him until New Year’s.” Felix exposed him with a smug look.

 

“Ahhhhh, Felix, shut up.”   
  
“So you talked to him once and managed to make him fall in love with you?” Moonbin says. He seems to tense up at that. “What? When I’m over at Dongminnie’s, you should see his face if I mention you.”

 

“He what?” Jisung turns towards Moonbin, face full of curiosity. 

 

Moonbin smiles as he adds, “He doesn’t ever really say anything but every time I say we’re having a sleepover or getting brunch or something, he gets this constipated look on his face.”

 

Jisung lets out a laugh, but it quickly dies down. “It really doesn’t matter anymore, though…”

 

“What do you mean, Sungie?” Hyungwon tries to dig a little deeper into the reason Jisung came so suddenly.

 

“He doesn’t like me.”

 

“What do you mean? Moonbinnie just said that he gets all weird whenever he hears your name. That sounds like he has some kind of feelings for you.” Jimin adds.

 

“I mean, that doesn’t really mean much. We never really spend time together. I mean, we hook up and stuff. But that doesn’t mean anything.”

 

“Does he just get off and leave?” Wonwoo asks bluntly.

 

Jisung turns even more red. “No! I mean,” he coughs, “he always falls asleep after he, uh, cleans me up…. I’m the one that leaves after. I mean, I wait for him to fall asleep…”

 

“Oh my god, is that where you keep coming back from in the middle of the night?” Felix almost yells. “I thought you were studying this whole time!”

 

“Wait, is that why you keep cancelling on all our plans? You’ve been screwing him that often?” Sanha yells. Jeonghan gives his brother a stern look for his crass words.

 

“I mean… yeah, I guess so.”

 

“But you’re not dating?”

 

“No.”

 

“Do you want to be dating him?”

 

“It doesn’t matter.”

 

“Why? Does he seem not interested?”

 

“That’s not it.”

 

“So you admit he likes you.” 

 

“Okay, we all say a lot of things during sex, and he likes to be vocal so he says a lot of things in the heat of the moment, but that doesn’t mean anything in the end.”

 

“Okay, clearly, you’re hiding something.”

 

“...He likes to say that he loves me during sex. He likes to say really sweet things, no matter how rough he is.” Jisung hides his face back in Felix’s neck. “Like he could have me tied up but still say such nice things.”

 

“Jisungie! What’s holding you back?” Sanha cries. “He sounds perfect. Oh, don’t tell Minhyukkie, but you were even going to spend your heat with him. I bet he would take such good care of you. Maybe even clear it up faster than normal.”

 

Jisung’s face falls immediately. “It didn’t come.”

 

Sanha quiets down instantly. “Wait… Sungie, do you mean…”

 

Quickly, everyone seems to catch onto why Jisung is here. Jungwoo surges forward to pull the younger boy into his embrace.

 

“It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. I know you will, and it won’t change anything.” He urgently whispers to the now crying younger boy.

 

“Jisung,” Minghao pipes up from where he’s still standing, now holding out the box, “if you’re ready.” 

 

Jisung wipes his nose with his sleeve and stands up carefully. He stumbles over towards Minghao and silently takes the box package from his outstretched hand. He shuffles towards the bathroom. He looks over his shoulder before entering the bathroom.

 

“You guys won’t… think any less of me, will you?” he asks in the smallest voice any of them had ever heard come out of Jisung’s voice.

 

The rest of them break out in shouts and reassurances that they would never think anything less of their Jisungie, and with that, he closes the door and turns on the fan.

 

“Oh man,” Hyungwon drops his head into his hands.

 

“He’ll be okay, right? Like, he’ll be able to get an abortion, so he should be fine.” Seungkwan says, half to himself because he’s nervous for some reason, even though he knows now thanks to the people around him, that there are plenty of resources for Omegas like Jisung.

 

“So in practice, he’ll be fine. We all know that. He knows that too. But I think he’s scared because it’s bringing back bad memories from… his ex.” Felix explains.

 

“He was very traditionalist. Probably similar to how Taewon was? He was an aggressive proponent of breeding as the only use for Omegas, and I think that really affected Jisung. And now, having this happen to him, unplanned, by someone he might really like, is going to flood him with all the messed up ideas he had burned into him.” Jungwoo spits out. “Even though everything he told Jisung was a lie.”

 

Seungkwan can understand this too. He had been told over and over again that after an Omega loses a baby, naturally or by an abortion, it would change the Omega’s scent. Change it to something disgusting and putrid. Something that would warn Alphas to stay away from this Omega because they wouldn’t be able to give them babies. A sign that they were a failure. Something that Seungkwan used to believe and one of the ways Taewon would manipulate his thoughts to keep him weak to argue against anything he wanted. If Taewon was willing to love him even though he smelled repulsive, then he should be thankful,  _ right? _

 

“I’ll take him to the clinic in a few days. I know that he’ll want to get rid of it and I’ve been there before so I might be the best person to accompany him.” No one disputes Jungwoo’s point. “And we need to make sure he doesn’t panic. And we can’t let Minho find out unless Jisung wants to tell him. As much as I feel like there’s a lot going on there, because of that, we need to let Jisung figure it out for himself.”   
  
They hear the sound of flushing from the bathroom and wait for a moment. Jisung doesn’t come out yet. 

 

“He’s going to mess up this thing with Minho, isn’t he?” Felix says sadly.

 

“Whatever he does, or likely doesn’t, if Minho really loses interest because Jisung gets scared of something like this, then he’s not the one that Jisung needs.” Hyungwon says solemnly. “I don’t know this kid, but hopefully he doesn’t let him go if he really likes him. Because it sounds like maybe Jisung isn’t seeing how much he likes him.”

 

“Honestly, Minho hyung is kinda dumb, so I’m sure he’s a big part of why they aren’t dating already.” Jeongin states matter-of-factly.

 

“Wow, that’s kinda brutal coming from you, Innie. What happened to our innocent little dongsaengie?” Felix cooes at the youngest boy.

 

“Okay, you say that, but I’m taller than both you and Jisung hyung.”   
  
“Oh, so you want to fight now?” Felix jests, ready to tackle the taller boy.

 

Felix is play wrestling with Jeongin and dragging Sanha and Moonbin into it when the bathroom door flings open.

 

Jisung runs out of the bathroom and launches himself into Jungwoo’s lap. He wraps his arms around the older’s neck and sobs into his neck. The older Omegas all start to release calming pheromones at the clear signs of distress.

 

“Hyung, hyung…” Jisung chokes out through his sobs. “I knew it when my heat didn’t come, but there was still a part of me that wanted to deny it.”

 

“You know that you can make whatever decision and we’re here to support you.” Jungwoo cards through his limp brown hair.

 

“Yeah, I know, I know. But I just can’t help but feel so bad about it. I don’t want it and I don’t think I could mentally handle going through a pregnancy. But I don’t think I could face Minho after getting rid of his baby.” 

 

Jimin moves to grab Jisung’s hand. “You know that you aren’t dating or really have any reason that he should push you to keep it if you don’t want it. And we all know that you’ve planned to not have any kids for a long time, if ever. If he reacts poorly to that, then we’ll whoop his ass.”

 

“Thanks hyung.” Jisung pulls Jimin in for a hug and everyone else shifts until they’re in a big group hug with Jisung squished in the middle.  

 

“You’ll get through this and you’ll be fine, Sungie. Hyungs are here for you.” Jeonghan says softly.

 

“That means everything. But, um, Jungwoo hyung, would you, maybe, go with me? I don’t want to back out because I feel alone. I know that I can’t keep it, and I know I want to get rid of it, but I can’t stop feeling bad about it and I think it would really help to have you there with me.”

 

“Of course. You shouldn’t have to go through this, and you’ll be fine after a while, but I remember being scared and thank god I had Lucas there for me. I don’t know how would have gone through that alone.”

 

“And it wasn’t even,...” Jisung continues, wiping his eyes with his sleeve again. “Well, I guess there’s really no reason to bring that back up. This was just a mistake, so it was kinda both our faults, and nothing was without consent, so at least, I can consider myself lucky in that way.”   
  
“Don’t worry about me. I’m declaring official soft Jisung hours only. So anything you want right now that you think will make you feel better, just let us know. We can go grab ice cream or snacks or something, or watch a movie you want maybe?” Jungwoo asks.

 

“Sure, maybe let’s just order some chicken? Half and half?” Hyungwon hums in confirmation before grabbing his phone to order.

 

Seungkwan moves to stand up, but Moonbin stands more quickly to help him up. 

 

“Thanks, Binnie.” Seungkwan lets go of his hand as he stretches his back and heads to the bathroom. He should have known that drinking all the hot chocolate at once would lead him to have to pee almost immediately. 

 

He enters the bathroom and hears Moonbin call out to just yell if he needs help getting up from the toilet. 

 

“Ha ha, funny. I’m not  _ that _ big yet.” Seungkwan retorts as he closes the door and goes to the bathroom. Moonbin isn’t too far off though, seeing as he definitely needs to sit to use the toilet now, and he definitely needs to grip the countertop to help himself stand back up.

 

_ It’s going to be embarrassing when I actually need to have Moonbin help me get up from the toilet. _

 

He glances down at the counter when he washes his hands. The used pregnancy test sits upon a folded wad of toilet paper. The little pink plus sign is something that Seungkwan had heard of but never actually used one before. He had always found out when he missed his heat and felt the symptoms. Or when his stomach had grown too much to ignore the reality. He moves his hand to touch it, but it’s not his and covered with Jisung’s pee, so he stops. 

 

It seems so strange that this little piece of plastic could have ruined Jisung’s life, but he appreciates all their friends so much. 

 

_ If I had all these friends in high school, would I be pregnant right now? Probably not… _

 

Seungkwan shakes his head. There’s no point of thinking about that. He made the decision to keep the baby months ago. 

 

_ But do you really want the baby? If you had the option right now, wouldn’t you want to get rid of it? It’s the last remaining bit of Taewon, and it’s inside of you? _

 

Seungkwan shakes his head again before opening the door to leave. But maybe a little bit to hard because he suddenly feels a bit dizzy. 

 

Before he could stumble, he feels hands steady him by holding his arms. His vision clears up and he sees Jisung in front of him with a worried look.    
  
“You okay, Seungkwanie hyung?”

 

“Yeah, must have just stood up too quickly.” Seungkwan tries to qquell his worry.

 

“Alright, I just wanted to throw away the, uh, the test.” He gestures inside.

 

“Oh, alright, sure.” Seungkwan steps aside and heads back towards the living room but stops when Jisung calls his name again.

 

“Yeah?” Seungkwan asks as he pops his head back around the doorframe. 

 

Jisung is toeing the ground and staring at the trashcan.  “Um…. Hyung, do you think that it’s okay for me to get an abortion?”

 

Seungkwan is shocked. He didn’t expect Jisung to still be uncertain. But Seungkwan is also the one who is going through a pregnancy after a difficult situation, so the younger Omega looking towards Seungkwan for some kind of reassurance makes sense.

 

“Jisungie, if you don’t want the baby, then you can and should have an abortion. You won’t be hurt, and you’ll still be able to have a baby later if you ever decide to. At least, that’s what hyungs have told me.”

 

“Hmmm, so you wouldn’t be mad? Especially because I’ve been drinking and acting irresponsibly. I wasn’t trying to hurt it or poison it or-”

 

“Sungie,” Seungkwan sighs before stepping closer to the young boy. He’s already a small kid, but with this pregnancy hanging in his mind, he looks even smaller. He rests his hand over his dropping shoulder. “It doesn’t matter what any of us think. I’ve wanted kids since I was young, and I wanted to keep my baby. It’s unfortunate that it had to be this way, but I still want this baby. None of that has to affect your decision. And the only irresponsible thing you did was have sex without a condom. Drinking since then, don’t blame yourself. You didn’t know and you weren’t trying for this. How could you have known? Although, I’m a little glad it was probably just morning sickness and not you getting absolutely wasted every time we drank.”

 

“And what about Minho hyung?” Jisung seems to shrink even smaller at the thought.

 

“Well, I think he likes you, but you shouldn’t feel like you need to tell him right away about this. But, personally, I think you will need to tell him eventually. Because if you start dating, you don’t want to have secrets like that. But it’s not because you’re asking for permission, you’re just letting him know.”

 

“Okay, okay. I just, he’s going to be so confused because I think I’m going to need to spend some time away from him. He’s going to think I don’t like him anymore. And then I just don’t know how he’ll react when I tell him. But I’ll worry about that later. Because I think the chicken is arriving.”   
  
“Already? Can you smell it? Do you have that crazy pregnancy sense of smell?” Seungkwan is surprised. He might be sensitive to certain smells now, but he hasn’t been able to smell more than usual since he got pregnant this time.

 

“Yeah, must be. But it makes sense. How else did I know when Hansol hyung packed you that pomegranate and onion last time. And how I know that he packed you a coconut tonight.”

 

“He what?” Seungkwan’s head shoots towards where his bag is lying in the living room. “How did you even smell that!”

 

“Magic, hyung.” Jisung says as he slips back into the living room.

 

Seungkwan follows and is still just as confused as he pulls the coconut out of his bag. Moonbin and Minghao notice first.    
  
“Kwannie? Why’d you bring that?” Minghao is confused.

 

“Oh, we can make a smoothie maybe?” Moonbin looks more excited. He’s already taking the coconut from his hands and starting to rummage around the kitchen, looking for something to try and split open the coconut.

 

“Honestly, I don’t even know when Hansol slipped that into my bag?” Seungkwan says curiously, as Minghao starts chasing after Moonbin who has a hammer and the coconut in his arms.

 

Jisung settles next to Felix, who seems to be restraining himself from joining Moonbin and Sanha who are now fighting to get out of the apartment, yelling that if they can’t do it inside, they’ll smash the coconut outside.

 

“Go, join them, I know you want to.” Jisung says quietly to his best friend. Felix looks a little guilty for being distracted, but gratefully gets up and darts over, running into the three of them and knocking them outside into the hallway.

 

Seungkwan and Jeongin replace the Aussie and cuddle up to either side of him, before the youngest asks, “Hyung, what should I tell Hyunjin hyung? He’s asking if you’re okay.”

 

Jisung’s face falls. He had just started to accept that he’ll be fine. 

 

“Tell him that I’m fine and safe. Is Minho hyung still there with him?”

 

“Yeah. He’s saying he won’t leave until he knows you’re okay.”

 

Jisung is quiet. Seungkwan can imagine that he’s torn between wanting to hide away from him and finding comfort in his concern.

 

“Tell Hyunjin to tell hyung to go home. I’m fine. And I’ll be okay. But for now, he can’t come looking for me. I just don’t want to see him right now.”

 

“You’re just going to avoid him?”

 

“I mean, for a little bit, yes. I know I’ll be fine. But for now, I feel really shaken and I think I’m going to need time to get back into the groove of things. To feel like my normal self again. And I know that I’ll have to see Minho again. I don’t know whether anything else will happen between us. But I need to figure it out by myself first. If we actually… dated, then I’d have to have a real talk about babies and what we’d do if we had another accident. And I can’t do that right now.”

 

“Okay, hyung. Let me know if you need anything.” Jeongin grasps onto Jisung’s arm even tighter and snuggles closer without touching the other’s stomach at all. No one had asked and no one dared to either. If he had gotten pregnant on New Year’s, then he might have started showing, especially being as small as he is.

 

“Of course, Innie, I’m going to have to use you as a human shield if we see Minho hyung coming. It’ll work out great now that you’ll be going to university too.”

 

A few minutes of calm pass, or as calm as it can be when they can hear Moonbin laughing at Sanha screaming as Minghao yells in both Korean and Mandarin and Felix sounds like he’s swearing in English. 

 

Jungwoo returns from wherever he had just been, and he sits in front of them. 

 

“I just got off the phone with Lucas. Don’t worry about it. I just wanted to really make sure with Caseu that… Well, I’m not going to lie that I felt 100% confident about going back to the clinic, but Lu reassured me I could do it, so…. I guess I'm just trying to act like I know what I’m doing, being an RA does that to you. But sometimes I feel like I just don’t have all the answers still.”

 

“Don’t worry, hyung,” Jisung reassures. “I wouldn’t have felt this okay if it weren’t for you. How’s Lucas hyung doing?”

 

“Well, it sounded like the boyfriends all missed us, so I think some of the Alphas got together.”

 

~~~~~~~~~

 

“LUCAS! Get off the phone! It’s your turn.” 

 

Lucas turns, Jungwoo already having hung up on him after being extremely vague on the phone. He stares back at his phone, a bit worried but certain that Jungwoo would have stayed on the phone a little longer if he needed it.

 

“I’m coming, coming.”

 

“Hyung, did Jungwoo hyung tell you anything about Jisungie?” Hyunjin who had just arrived with Minho in tow asks curiously.

 

“How did you know I was talking to Wooie?” Lucas wonders aloud.

 

“Nothing would get you to leave a game of Monopoly like that, especially when your turn is next, except Jungwoo.” Jungkook says nonchalantly. Not like he had to wait three minutes for Lucas to fall into the trap he had been laying with his investment in the Boardwalk.

 

“What? Nuh uh. What are you talking about?” Lucas tries to act casual. Jungwoo had been vague but also didn’t seem to want to draw attention to his sudden need for reassurance from his boyfriend. Clearly he’d ask later, but now didn’t seem like the right time.

 

“Lucas, you’re kidding, right? You’re completely whipped. Hao and I got back to Korea like, what, three days ago, and we were planning to get dinner and watch a movie to celebrate being back in the apartment, but you were three hours late. Because why?” Junhui looks at Lucas imploringly.

 

Lucas’s pout falls, as he sits down in his empty space. He grabs the die and gently tosses it, “Jungwooie sneezed.” He sighs as he places his token on GO, barely missing Jungkook’s Broadway. “But it was a cute sneeze. And I was worried he was getting sick. Plus, you and Hao are, like, actually whipped for each other. You’re getting married.”

 

“Okay, first of all? Yes, I am, I’m getting married to the best man in the entire world!” Junhui lets out in a rush, flushing deeply as he holds out his hand again, ring flashing in the light of his beaming smile. “And two, don’t say that like you don’t totally want to marry Jungwoo one day.”

 

It’s Lucas’s turn to flush. “So what… Plus, I need to meet his parents. And he needs to meet mine. And we know that will be tough, especially on him. Not that Jungwooie isn’t strong, but my parents really know how to tear someone apart.”   
  
The other Alphas wince. Junhui had met his parents before and had been almost impressed by how strict they were. It was a wonder Lucas was even allowed to study in Korea.

 

“But, isn’t Seungcheol hyung the next to get married, technically?” Lucas turns the attention to the older.

 

“Aish, Xuxi, I really can’t talk anymore about the wedding. Hannie is already so stressed because he wants to have it in December instead of waiting for sometime in 2020. And I can’t wait to get married to him, don’t get me wrong, but it’s already in 10 months and he’s so stressed about planning.” Seungcheol rubs his hand over his bare face.

 

“Wait,” Junhui stands up suddenly. “I just remembered I have something I need to do. Something Minghao will kill me if I forget to do again.” He turns suddenly towards Soonyoung next to him and kneels down, taking both of the other’s hands in his.

 

“Soonyoung, we’ve known each other since first year of university and you were there when I complained about how much the new Chinese freshman ignored me when I met Minghao. You were supportive of us since the beginning and it would be my greatest honor if you would be my groomsman.” 

 

Soonyoung stares back at him until he breaks out into a wide smile, eyes disappearing. He lunges into Junhui for a hug, yelling that he’d be honored to be their groomsman and that he won’t let them down.

 

All the guys raise their glasses of various drinks, beer, juice, water, and Dongmin yells out for a cheer. 

 

“CHEERS!! To our Hoshi!”

 

“Wait,” Mingyu says, “You almost forgot to ask your groomsmen to be oyur groomsmen?”   
  


“Yeah, maybe,” Junhui pout, “but Hao still needs to ask all his groomsmen, except for Sicheng. So… uh, Hansollie, Gyu, watch out.”

 

Hansol and Mingyu deadpan. “Did you just… tell us that he’s going to be asking us?”

 

“Uhh…” Junhui only now realizes his mistake. “...no?”

 

“Bro, we got this,” Hansol and Mingyu high five each other.

 

Mingyu grasps Hansol’s hand tightly and stares back at him for a second.

 

“Uh… Hyung? What is it?” Hansol asks, slightly creeped out by the way Mingyu is staring into his soul.

 

“It’s because Seungcheol hyung let spill in the ‘95ers group chat that you had a crush on someone, so Taehyung hyung told Jungkook while they were hanging out, but then apparently Jungkook looked suspicious and Tae hyung told him that when someone has a crush, you can see hearts in their eyes and told him he had them because he liked Jimin hyung, and being an idiot, Jungkook believed him. And being an idiot, Mingyu also believed him, and he’s trying to see if you have a crush on somebody.” Dongmin sips his drink.    
  
“Wow, Dongmin hyung, how did you know all that?” Minho asks, barely following what was just said.

 

“Well, you see, my brother, my calm and neat demeanor tricks people into trusting me with all their secrets.” Dongmin replies with another sip of his drink.

 

“Well, that’s all great, Minnie, but you all should know that Dongmin didn’t realize that was all a lie until he looked at his own eyes in a mirror and was distraught that maybe he wasn’t in love with Moonbin.” Jungkook retorts.   
  
Dongmin huffs. “Whatever. It’s not real. It’s not even a folktale. Gyu, you can stop staring. We all already know that Hansol has a big fat crush on S-”   
  
“SHH!” Hansol rushes across the gameboard, knocking over the pieces and sending the paper money flying as he struggles to cover Dongmin’s mouth before he can reveal his secret crush.

 

“You can’t just say it outloud. I don’t want him to find out.”   
  
“Why are you so worried, Han? He’s not here. None of us would tell him.” Seungcheol reassures, happy to mess with his brother.

 

“You don’t seem to understand. Gossip is drawn to him. It’s like once you say a secret outloud into the universe, suddenly Seungkwan knows everythi-” 

 

Amongst the sudden uproar, Hansol stands up silently and trudges slowly towards the door. Soonyoung is screaming with Lucas, while Junhui and Seungcheol are cheering and clapping at Hansol’s accidental confession. Dongmin and Jungkook look shocked that they were able to get Hansol to slip his crush out loud, and Mingyu is shouting that he knew he saw hearts in his eyes. Hyunjin and Minho look startled but pleased that they were able to be a part of Hansol’s demise.

 

“Hansol, now that you have admitted it to us, when are you going to confess to Seungkwan?” Minho’s voice rings through the chaos, and Hansol stops as he reaches up to the doorknob.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Don’t you plan to confess to Seungkwan hyung?” Hyunjin carifies. 

 

“No.” He says immediately.

 

“Why not? Are you going to just let that other guy he’s been talking to take him away?” Jungkook asks.

 

“Okay, hold up, no one is ‘taking him away’, besides, the guy, Hwanseok, was really nice and helpful when Seungkwan had that fainting spell last month.

 

“You’re not gonna take a stand for you mans?” Junhui asks.

 

“He’s not mine in the first place, so you’re wrong. But also, he’s been through too much for me to just try and claim him or something.”

 

“No one is telling you you need to act aggressively, but you should put your feelings out there. You two are really close but nothing will happen if you don’t open up a little. It’s been a long time since… well, you deserve to find someone that cares about you the way it seems like Seungkwan cares about you.” Seungcheol says with a sad smile.

 

“You can’t just bring him up like that. Plus, Seungkwan is totally different.”   
  
“Exactly. You might not want to be forthcoming in a relationship again, but we can all tell that there’s something between you two and we don’t want to see you give up a chance because he went on a date with someone else and because you’ve been hurt. The past doesn’t have to stop you from what the future can be.”   
  
And maybe it was those words coming from Soonyoung, his funny, loud, raucous hyung, that did it, or that he was probably the closest to Seungkwan out of the rest of them, but hearing his words struck a chord in him. Hansol suddenly feels tears streaking down his face, even though he doesn’t actually feel sad.

 

“Sollie…” Seungcheol moves to hug Hansol and shimmy him back to where the rest of them are sitting on the ground. “Why are you crying?” He looks like he’s about to cry himself.

 

“Don’t know, hyung. I’m not really sure,” he replies as he laughs at the absurdity of crying when he feels more lifted than he had been in months. “I thought I was over him, and I know that Seungkwan is nothing like him, and I know that I like Seungkwan so much, but I think I’ve been too afraid to risk sharing my feelings ro trying anything more since…. I-I don’t think it’s the right time to confess to Seungkwan, because I feel like I need to make more of an effort to show myself romantically to him first. But, I think it’s time that I, at least, don’t let Seungkwan slip by without being true to my feelings.”

 

“So, are you going to ask him on a date?” Dongmin asks, face breaking into a smile.

 

“Yeah, I think I’ll ask him on a date.”

 

“Wow, it makes sense why Innie likes the Omegas’ sleepovers so much. This is so fun. Do you think they make emotional breakthroughs every month like this?” Hyunjin chimes in.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions for readers:
> 
> Should I add some more characters from the groups already involved? Other groups? Please comment below if you want your faves to be added and I am interested in growing the scope of couples in this
> 
> Should I mix up the alpha versus omega with newer characters? there's a few I have in mind that might not be the common dynamic usually written as
> 
> Also, I hope y'all like babies, because there will be many babies

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave ideas for a better chapter title because I don’t have ave a my planned out because once again. A brain dump.
> 
>  
> 
> NOTE: Edited to fit ages better, because I fucked up and now basically it fits the general age rules in school for the US but is still int he korean school system 
> 
> Basically Seungkwan is 15 in his first year of high school, and so he's 20 now and would be in his third year of university
> 
> also, I have like 7k of just plot outline for the rest of the story, so I will definitely be following through with this story  
>  
> 
> VOTE for the gender of Seungkwan's baby here: http://www.strawpoll.me/17955834


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